


As It Turns Out

by ajfessler



Series: Something of Worth [5]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: BAMF Laura Barton, Chapter Six revised, F/M, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Phil Coulson Has the Patience of a Saint, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Revision In Progress, The Author Regrets Nothing, Tony's done with this crap, give it a chance?, hand-wavy science, horrifying use of organic matter, not particularly descriptive, there is sex now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2018-06-10 05:05:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 91,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6941029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajfessler/pseuds/ajfessler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He tried. He failed. Then he succeeded but not for them, never for the Avengers ever again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Setting the Stage

**Author's Note:**

> The curtain was supposed to close on a kiss. But Clint had to ramble things in a different direction. So the author officially has no idea where this is going. 
> 
> Shall it be big or shall it be small, oh the plot devices from which to choose?
> 
> Feedback would be really helpful on this one as there isn't a precise goal I've got noted down to arrive at after much love and abuse of characters.  
> -Aj
> 
> P.S. ~*(^.=.^)*~ that is a dragon! and it represents a time lapse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revised 06132017

He had started keeping lists to appease Pepper. She’d insisted that if he kept track of the day to day things Tony would stay better organized, which would mean his time was better managed thus creating, in theory, more time to spend with Pepper. It hadn’t worked, and they had agreed to a separation. The realization that perhaps the entire relationship wasn’t working had occurred and left Tony wondering if maybe they had never worked at all. 

Still, the effort had gotten him in the habit of making lists. So, when Thaddeus Ross showed up in his office waving photos and threats, Tony Stark made a list. It should have been simple. Protect the people he cared for, keep the Avengers safe, and finally get Ross kicked to the curb. It had all looked so simple on paper, which of course was when the problems started. 

Afterward, when the dust had settled, and the damages were assessed, Tony would stop and wonder if Steve fucking Rogers thought the whole miasma had been worth it. Not that it mattered what Steve thought since Tony had been left to clean up the mess and the Avengers were fugitives. Leaning back in his office chair, Tony did his best to relax in the rare moment of silence and peace before the next round of questioning was due to begin. Absently rocking back and forth brought a glare of light to his attention. Sitting up, Tony stared at it in defeat before getting up to investigate. 

The glossy surface of one of Ross’s photos met his questing fingers. It had collected a layer of dust where it had hidden under his side table. Tony made a mental note to talk to Pepper about their cleaning staff as he brushed the picture off. Captured for all time was a moment Tony could well imagine. Lila and Cooper, gaudy swimsuits donned, were obviously running from something with tiny little Nate toddling in the nude close behind. Giant smiles graced their innocent faces. 

Smiling fondly at the Barton smaller agents, Tony nodded to himself. He’d always been far more invested in them than was rightly fair or healthy. It wasn’t like they had room for him in their family, it wasn’t like his infatuation with their father and husband was going to come to fruition to anything serious. Tony was well aware that the best he could hope for would be a secret affair which wasn’t at all what he wanted anymore. Sighing, Tony stood back up and returned to his desk. It was wishful thinking, but there had been something between him and Barton that had been too charged to be friendship but not nearly coquettish enough to be flirting. 

Setting the picture in a drawer, he resolved to frame it later. If nothing else it would remind him why it had all been worth it. 

Weeks passed with little interruption in his day to day schedule. Most of his time had been taken up with sitting across from the old judges appointed to the Supreme Court. Tirelessly explaining again and again why he and his lawyer thought that the Sokovia Accords were unconstitutional. Building, brick by painful brick, the image of infringement upon basic fundamental American rights. 

Sitting there in front of them, minding his manners and mannerisms, had been exhausting in a way he didn’t even have the words to illustrate. It wasn’t that he begrudged the international community the right to demand accountability and responsibility. Everyone had the right to point their finger and say it was their fault make them pay. Tony, like Steve fucking Rogers, felt that the Accords went far beyond the core proponents of oversight. The difference was, Tony acted like an adult about it, and Steve threw a temper tantrum the moment Bucky Barnes had been brought into the conversation. Even still, Tony had agreed the documents were shit and had already been working on getting around them. All he’d needed Steve fucking Rogers to do was play along so Tony would have the time and resources he needed to put together a case against the Accords. 

His counter proposal had included a panel of five representatives, to be modified as needed, which included two bodies from the United Nations Council, one body from both globally reaching task forces, and someone to stand in for the private security sectors. Every country in the world would have the option of requesting additional emergency aid from either the X-men, for mutant issues, or the Avengers, for practically everything else. Those cases wouldn’t require vetting by the UN panel only a post-mission debrief. In the event of aliens, or comparable invasion, the Avengers would be deployed immediately regardless of regional or sanctified country boundaries for the threat to be contained. 

All other missions which happened outside the host country were required to be presented in person to the panel for approval. Tony had pushed for that little detail to be added, and surprisingly, T’Challa had seconded his vote without hesitation. It was a well-known fact to the Avengers that Steve fucking Rogers hated public speaking. It was petty, Tony knew, but if his plans succeeded it would be his only way to get payback for almost dying by Steve fucking Rogers hands in Siberia. 

The verdict of the Supreme Court had come before the delegations over the Accords in the UN had finalized. The old goats on their bench had declared the Accords as they stood were unconstitutional and a gross invasion of personal liberty and privacy. In an uncharacteristic show of anxiety and nerves, Tony had begged for a delay of the verdict release. Officially, it was so he could prepare for the press nightmare which would surely be coming hard on the decision. In actuality, it was so Tony could ensure that his presence was sanitized out of the Compound before his former teammates could return. If he wasn’t there, they couldn’t give him shit about things outside of his control. 

During his packing, Tony came across the crappy flip phone that had been with Steve fucking Rogers’s patronizing explanation of his actions. Tony wouldn’t even call it an apology. Sure the words I’m sorry were written, but nothing contained on that sheet of paper showed remorse. Tossing the phone up and down to test the weight, Tony eyed a blank wall speculatively. It would shatter spectacularly if thrown. Instead of throwing the phone though, another idea occurred to him. One that had a slow devious smirk playing over his lips. 

Finding the jeweler’s screwdriver set was a bit of a challenge, but when he had, it was a matter of moments to have the phone broken down into individual components. Tony had been building computers almost as long as he’d been making guns. Taking apart something as inferior as the late 90’s flip phone was child’s play. The sandwich bags he put everything in were from the kitchen and Tony thought they added a nice touch to his destruction. 

His efforts to get Rhodey involved in anything outside of the man’s medical room had included a program which would display Steve fucking Rogers non-apology letter on the wall whenever anyone walked into the workshop. 

Initially, Tony had been wary of relating the events of Siberia to Rhodey when his friend had first started reaching out and asking how things had ended. Unfortunately, when it came to keeping secrets from one James Rhodes, Tony Stark was shit. He held out barely a week before telling the entire sordid affair and breaking down over Rhodey’s hospital bed. 

Tony spoke of Natasha letting Steve and Bucky go. Of his own decision to let Natasha go when Friday informed him she was packing to leave the Compound, of sending the information to her that showed Bucky being framed. Told of his encounter with Ross and finding out that Zemo had played them all for fools. Explained his trip to the RAFT and the horror he’d felt at seeing the Avengers sitting in cages without having access to legal council or any sort of due process of law to back up the decision for them to be there. 

Left out the words he’d spoken with Clint because Tony wasn’t sure if Clint had actually known that Rhodey had broken his back at that point. If it had just been anger speaking from the archer, Tony thought he might be able to forgive Clint. He promised himself though, that if Clint had actually known of Rhodey’s injury that there would be hell to pay. That was crossing a line Tony didn’t think they could come back from, no matter what.

Tony held out almost two whole days against Rhodey’s badgering regarding the events of the bunker. The fall out of the video of his parent's murder. Of Steve fucking Rogers knowing that the car crash hadn’t been his father’s drunken mistake but a calculated act of violence. 

They had been discussing the events and what might have motivated Steve fucking Rogers to make the choices he did when Tony had mentioned offhandedly about apologizing. Tony could look back on the events that happened and realize that he at least hadn’t handled the big reveal with much aplomb. His mother would have been ashamed of him if she hadn’t been murdered and all that. He had just reached the end of his rope. The stress from Ross and the threats to the Barton children, Steve’s petulant refusal to listen, and an entire world’s worth of pressure to keep the Avengers together and safe had taken its toll. 

Bucky Barnes had become the outlet for all the pent-up emotion Tony had been carrying. 

Rhodey had been so pissed at him for even considering it once Tony had handed over Steve fucking Rogers apology letter. They had screamed at each other for almost an hour about how to handle things. Tony wanted to capitulate and forgive them, even Steve fucking Rogers, because the world needed heroes and Tony wasn’t enough on his own to save anyone. He couldn't even save himself. That had been proven with crystal clarity with the events of the media dubbed Civil War. 

Shaking his head of the memories, Tony turned his attention to doing a final check of the workshop he had designed to be the hive of invention that saw him through retirement and beyond. The display cases, which had once held early versions of his Iron Man suits, now held Avenger uniforms with the upgrades he had been working on when everything went to shit. The cell phone was resting in its deconstructed state on his favorite workbench alongside a printed copy of his resignation tucked neatly into a plain envelope. Coulson had already accepted the official version. The projected image, coded by Rhodey, displayed on the wall always made Tony smile when he saw it. 

All that was left was to dump the servers of his personal projects and uninstall Friday. He had already sent her back up’s on to his temporary residence in Malibu. She would be out of commission while the mansion was being rebuilt. Glancing down at his phone showed him the progress bar on both tasks. Soon, he would walk out the front doors of the Compound with the intent of never returning. It was easy to ignore the pang of regret that sparked at the thought.

~*~

Tony had once more settled down in Malibu when the notification from Friday came through letting him know that the Avengers were once more on American soil. The email from Coulson arrived moments later informing him of the same thing. He sat staring into space for a long moment trying to process how he felt about that and in the end sent a resigned email off to his Pepper mandated therapist for an appointment. Hopefully, the Avengers would respect his decision to be left alone. 

Which of course was why barely a week later he received an email from Coulson informing him that the new Director of the reformed SHIELD had approved Clint Barton’s request to seek him out. 

Tony had coffee ready when Friday announced that Clint had arrived and was being shown towards the kitchen. Determination coiled through him, if the archer had come to try and convince Tony to return to the Avengers, there was going to be a fight. Otherwise, Tony had decided (with help of course) to hear Clint out. Even the great Tony Stark could have patience when it suited him. 

Leaning as nonchalantly against his counter as possible, Tony watched Clint carefully as the archer entered the room. An ache blossomed in his chest at the prominent cheek bones and too sharp jawline Clint was sporting telling a silent tale of weight loss. Tony hadn’t seen the archer look so terrible since the Avengers had gotten the man back from SHIELD psych after Loki. Plastering a neutral mask on his face, he hid his concern. Apparently, it didn’t matter how shitty his treatment, Tony would still love the dickheads who couldn’t be bothered to trust him. Or he amended mentally, Tony would still love Clint no matter how shitty his treatment. 

Instead of asking the thousand and one questions bubbling around in his head, Tony nodded at the cup he’d left on the counter for Clint. There was no hesitation when Clint pulled the cup to him and began to toy with it. The uncharacteristic anxiety made something painful and heavy tighten in his chest, reminiscent of the arc reactor. They had never been this awkward around each other, not even in the beginning. It had been one of the things that Tony liked the best about Clint, their easy camaraderie. 

Tony thought about reaching out or rambling senselessly about his latest projects until Clint managed to get his sea legs in the situation like he’d done so many times before. Rather, Tony reminded himself that Clint had sided with Steve fucking Rogers and thus gave up all rights to assistance from Tony in awkward social situations. To keep the words behind his teeth, Tony took a sip of his coffee and held the bitter liquid on his tongue. Savoring the flavors as a distraction as he waited. 

Moments later, Clint stuttered, “I… Thank you. Coulson said what you did. To protect my kids. My family. Told me about the-the threats. So, I wanted to, you know. Thank you.” 

The last things Tony had been expecting was gratitude when he had received Coulson email. His resulting inhale of shock sent the coffee in his mouth down the wrong pipe. Suddenly, Tony was choking and coughing instead of calmly and maturely accepting Clint’s thanks before sending the archer out the door. 

A warm, calloused hand settled on the back of Tony’s neck. A thumb rubbing gentle circles along the tendon as Tony’s other arm was yanked up over his head. Throat unhampered and coughing controlled, Tony took his limbs back and gulped a swallow of his coffee before rasping, “Thanks.” 

Clearing his throat, Tony stood up straight and regarded the archer frankly. There was worry etched clearly across those striking features and something else that was hidden too fast for Tony to identify. It made him want to sigh in frustration. The man in front of Tony had married a woman years before, had produced children with her no less. As far as Tony could tell there was absolutely no reason why Clint should look at him with any emotion related to fondness, especially in light of the most recent past events between the two of them. Shaking his head Tony went with the most logical reason why Clint might have shown up and firmly stated, “I’m not coming back. Nothing you have to say will change my mind on that. I’m done.”

The shocked look that passed across Clint’s face was almost comical before the archer waved both hands in a dismissive gesture saying, “No. No, that’s not. I’m not here as an Avenger or at Steve’s insistence. I’m pretty sure Coulson is the only one who actually knows my location at the moment. And let me tell you, he was pretty fucking clear about his expectations when he let me slip out of the Compound.”

Tony nodded and asked, hating the hesitance he could hear in his voice, “Then why are you here?” 

Watching Clint rub the back of his neck as the archer released a deep sigh Tony wondered if he should have called in reinforcements before the conversation. Resigned, Tony braced himself for yet another rendition of ‘I’m going to try and work things out with my wife, and I don’t know why I’m telling you this because we aren’t dating or anything but yeah.' 

And of course, contrary to his expectations, Clint babbled, “While Coulson was briefing Steve over the conditions of the Avengers’ pardons and the new stipulations that would be required of our Leader, Laura pulled me aside. We had a couple of excruciatingly painful conversations. We, we weren’t working. Probably hadn’t been working since Loki. She’s of the opinion that the Glow Stick of Doom reorganized my priorities and twisted more than just my loyalties and turned me into a stranger. I can’t say whether or not she’s right or wrong. But SHIELD psych has evaluated me four times since they let me go and says that there isn’t anything wrong but some lingering trauma from the whole brainwashed into attacking my friends schtick. So, we’re at an impasse. She told me that this last debacle crossed a line that we couldn’t come back from. We’re done, just in the final stages of ironing out custody.” 

The helpless gesture Tony watched made his hands ache to reach out and reassure, to touch in some way to comfort. He would have at one point before the War too, but that was before. This was now, and Tony felt like he was treading on thin ice that at any moment was going to break away and drown him. So, Tony listened as Clint continued.

“Coulson had apparently arranged for Laura and the kids to arrive a few days before the rest of us. A surprise I guess. Cassie was there for Scott too so maybe it was just Coulson trying to reunite the families. Instead of the happy reunion I’m sure Coulson pictured, it was a bloodbath. Laura had found the display you left in your workshop and was waiting for us all on the landing pad pissed as hell. Ripped into the lot of us before we had even stepped foot onto the tarmac. If I hadn’t been included, it would have been a glorious sight.”

Tony chuckled. He’d been on the receiving end of one or two of Laura’s angry lectures and could well imagine the scene. Laura Barton was not a woman to be crossed lightly. The small smirk he got in acknowledgment of the humor lifted some of the anxiety curling in an iron band around his chest. 

Clint waved a hand around and said, “She was yelling and flailing about how you had found out about a threat to the kids and had talked Coulson into sneaking them all into hiding. How you had cleaned up the mess we had left and where were the apologies about that? About the families who had been displaced and damaged by our actions? About how Steve had just left you in Siberia without any further regard and fuck Tony, I'm so sorry. That's beyond fucked up.” 

Tony couldn’t say anything, terror at the thought the Avengers knew what a clusterfuck Siberia had turned into froze him in his spot and even just breathing was almost insurmountable. Heedless of Tony’s predicament, Clint was already pressing on in a guilt fed tirade. 

“She ripped into Steve like he was just some dumb kid. Saying how his apology was just a patronizing guilt trip designed to shame you into admitting you were wrong instead of Steve. Steve, who might have had the right intentions but went about proving them in the worst way possible.

“You should’ve heard the venom in her voice when he tried to bring up you attacking Barnes in Siberia and how you hadn't been objective about finding out about the brainwashed actions Barnes had been forced to take to survive. She lit right back into him about how if he had trusted his teammates at any time and been the leader the Avengers deserved there wouldn’t have even been a fight in Siberia. Told him he had no one to blame for Siberia but himself and his choices. 

“Coulson appeared about the time she started in on how you had spent weeks arguing with Senators, Judges and Ambassadors to try and protect all of us and bring us home. It didn’t even faze Coulson when her angry glare turned on him. He didn’t look at a single one of us, so I guess something must have changed between us getting the confirmation we could come home and actually arriving. Left us all standing on the loading ramp of the quinjet like a troupe of first of May’s.” 

Tony could speculate on what had changed with Coulson. There was a medical readiness report that Tony had allowed be sent to the new Director. If he had the timeline in his head right, it would have reached Coulson desk right before the Avengers were due to land. The report itself hadn’t been flattering to Tony’s mental stability. PTSD, flashbacks, panic disorder, anxiety disorder, paranoia, depression the list had never seemed to end. Which wasn’t even mentioning the recommendations from his cardiologist or orthopedist regarding his ribcage after the beating he’d taken from Steve’s shield. 

Shrugging, Tony glanced away. He didn’t want to get into details. Though he was immensely curious about what a first of May could be. 

Clint, oblivious to Tony’s inner turmoil, continued on without stopping, “I don’t think any of us knew how much work went into getting us home. I don’t know what the other’s thought but since all the communications had come from Coulson I had assumed that was who had brought us home. And then it was bluntly slapped in all of our faces that, nope that’s wrong Tony Stark did all the legwork for months to get the public to forgive the Avengers. And man, did that suck. Was even worse when Coulson sat us all down and Sam snarked about you missing out. Instead of the little, amused smirk, I was expecting Coulson just glared and said in the monotone voice he gets when you’ve fucked up major that Tony Stark and James Rhodes had retired from the Avengers due to severe medical trauma. I didn’t even know Rhodes had been injured until then.” 

That was one question answered, Tony mused. The second perspective was interesting. It wasn’t that Tony didn’t trust Coulson, but he hadn’t quite believed that the Avenger’s homecoming had been handled as smoothly as the Director had said. Resignation twisted his insides up. Apparently, it had been a good thing Tony hadn’t been there. Since if he had it would have likely led to the Avengers starting the fighting all over again because he was damned sure all the information Coulson had provided about Tony’s actions in removing the Accords and knocking Ross out of power wouldn’t have made it into any debrief. It was pleasant to know that at least he had a friend in Coulson. Even if Coulson was the only one Tony had in the Compound. 

The verbal diarrhea from Clint began again as the archer explained, “Laura and I’s first of many conversations came the night we landed. She flat out refused to even hear me out if I wasn’t willing to man up and accept the responsibility of my choices. Said if I couldn’t she had nothing to say. And you know, I always try and be honest. Especially about myself. So, it wasn’t like I could hold on to the delusion that had sustained my anger since the RAFT. Which I guess is just as well since Laura wasn’t going to put up with my bullshit. I think it might have been the first truly honest conversation we’ve had in four years. Painful, but necessary.” 

Tony could nod at that, he and Pepper had engaged in one of those the last time she had been in California. They had celebrated a year of being separated with a bottle of champagne and told stories about Stark Industries board members until they were laughing so hard they were crying. It was a good memory. 

Clint’s voice interrupted his memory saying, “I told Laura that I was planning on tracking you down, to thank you for protecting them and if you heard that out to apologize. She gave me this look and wished me a safe trip. And honest to God that’s all I’m here for. To thank you as many times as you’ll let me for keeping my family safe and to apologize for being such a dick to you about the entire thing. Especially for my cruel words in the RAFT. I was out of line, big time.” 

Looking away, Tony debated what to do. Part of him wanted to stay mad at Clint. To be petty about everything. But most of him, the part that had stood up after everything to demolish the Accords. The part that hadn’t let anyone say it couldn’t be done. The part that was tired of fighting just wanted it all to be over. Just wanted to continue on with his quiet existence of tinkering with new groundbreaking technology and fixing the mathematical mistakes his R&D department left in their calculations. 

Shaking his head, Tony said, “I wish the Avengers had managed a bit more faith in me through everything. But it’s over. Apology accepted, and you’re welcome I guess. I’d do the same thing over in a heartbeat. I don’t regret my actions, just the trust I put in the team.” 

Watching Clint carefully as the archer blinked at him in surprise. Disgust warred with relief as Tony realized Clint had expected to be blown off. Tony sighed, he hated receiving appreciation, mostly because he felt like there was still so many of his actions left needing atonement. But Tony could understand the surprise that there hadn’t been any showboating or flamboyant misdirection. He wanted his actions noticed, just not acknowledged and people calling the few things he managed to do right always left him feeling out of his depth. Trying for a smile in return, Tony murmured, “You’re welcome to stay as long as you like, the guest room is always available as long as you respect my decision to quit the Avengers.” 

The nod he got in response was accompanied by a tentative smile that felt like the start of something new.


	2. Checking the Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning, and a call from the new Director of SHIELD.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! Guys! Thank you so much for all the positive feedback and especially to everyone who took the time to leave a comment! I think I've answered all of them.
> 
> Still rated for swearing.
> 
> *** Edit 06/10/2016***  
> Fixed a few broken thought processes, corrected some grammar issues and substituted a few correctly spelled words which were suppose to be other words.
> 
> REVISED 06142017

Mornings always came suddenly for Tony Stark and with waking came a slew of negative feedback. The harsh brilliance of the Southern California sun and his detestation of it. The cruelty of a night filled with horror causing him to start once again already short of sleep. And his ever-present headache of caffeine withdrawal. Rolling over, Tony sighed. The only one he could do anything about was the caffeine. He could already smell his remedy. Muzzy from nightmares Tony wondered why Pepper hadn’t called to let him know she’d be in California before dragging himself out of bed. Pepper didn’t care about his state of dress and would barge in if she thought he was attempting to shirk his duties further. 

The shower returned most of his higher brain function and feeling clean and dressed for the day gave him an armor to use against idiots. Those people who looked at him and only saw pre-Afghanistan Tony Stark. Those people who couldn’t realize that he’d gone into that desert a lonely, drunk excuse of a man and had been broken down and rebuilt into something better. He was still working out the glitches in the new programming, but for the first time in his life, Tony felt like he had a purpose. 

Desperation and duct tape had held his suit together during his escape. It hadn’t really surprised him when the thing had fallen all to pieces. When Tony had sat down to build something worthy of the Stark name he had reviewed his choices in that deep dark cave and set about changing what had been done in the name of hopelessness. When he was done throwing out things that he knew could be done better there hadn’t been anything left other than the support structure. The mark II would always have a special place in his heart, icing problems and all. 

It hadn’t been perfect by any means. But like Tony himself, it was a far cry from the sad excuse of its predecessor. The weapon’s systems he’d ended up building in had caused weeks of agonizing. He had shut down Stark Industries manufacturing of weapons, what right did he have to put more designs of death into Iron Man. This was supposed to be his way of atoning for the blind eye he had turned to the suffering his weapons brought. He’d been infinitely grateful for his delicate little missiles when going up against the tank. 

Tony shook his head and decided that hindsight being what it was he should have forgone the weapons. They had been worthless. So had the suits though. In the end, the suits had just made everything worse. For everyone involved. 

The suits hadn’t protected Pepper, they hadn’t protected the Barton Family, and the sure as hell hadn’t protected the Avengers. The three things that were the most important to Tony and the suit he had built to keep them safe had been useless. Tony, just plain old Tony Stark, had been more useful at protecting all three things than the suits. It had just hammered home the point that Tony wasn’t a hero and really should stop pretending to be one. Quitting Iron Man had been the second hardest thing he’d ever done. The first watching as Pepper fell to what he had assumed was a sure death. 

Phil Coulson had let him step down from being a superhero, but there had been a four-hour negotiation for continued consultations in the manner of technical expertise and first-look rights at any invention which might have combat applications. Tony had allowed it because it was the same deal he’d made with his former DOD contracts. As a favor to Coulson, Tony had waived his standard consultation fee. After all, when Tony had called the man in the middle of the night from a random payphone Coulson had answered, and the Barton Family had been protected. 

Strapping a randomly selected watch from the drawer, Tony mused over the quiet solitude his world had since succumb to before Clint Barton had shown up the previous night. The archer’s apology had taken him by surprise. He had heard what Clint had said and perhaps more importantly had noted things that hadn’t been said. He knew the Avengers as a whole blamed him for what happened, for the team being broken up and sent on the run. He blamed himself for trusting that they knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t back something preposterous without a damn good reason. Except Steve fucking Rogers had gone and started a dick measuring contest and Tony Stark, like usual, had come up short to the super soldier. 

It was a bitter pill to swallow, but his therapist had issues with his habit of deluding himself. 

The smell of baking cinnamon drew him towards the kitchen as it mingled delightfully with the smell of coffee. Scrolling through the presentation Pepper had sent him on the upstart companies she wanted to acquire, Tony ambled into his kitchen and promptly came to a sudden stop in the doorway. Standing in his kitchen, sipping coffee like his life depended on it in a rumpled t-shirt and boxers, was Clint Barton. Tony had assumed that the archer would have been on his way at first light. 

The sight was one that had haunted what few dreams weren’t hijacked by waterboarding or infinite space on the other side of the galaxy. A little moment of domesticity that they had repeated hundreds of times in the initial aftermath of New York. 

Watching Clint, Tony had to wonder once more just how anyone took the man seriously. First thing in the morning, Clint wasn’t any more dangerous than a sleepy kitten. That could all change in the blink of an eye of course. Clint hadn’t gotten to this point in his life by being bad at his chosen profession. If Tony hadn’t gone snooping in databases which he had no business being in, he wouldn’t have known any different either. 

The SHIELD files that Tony had been able to find had painted one picture. The file from Interpol had said something much different. He wasn’t sure which to believe, but in light of Fury’s web of lies, Tony was inclined to go with Interpol and if that was the case than Clint Barton had been well on his way to being his own ghost story much like the Winter Soldier. The confirmed assassinations tally alone would have gained notoriety, but Clint had operated in the shadows for almost fifteen years before he ran afoul of Coulson and was scooped up into SHIELD’s black and white world. 

The sight of Clint at home in Tony’s kitchen logically should have bothered him more than it actually did. Since the Avengers walked out of his life like they had never been in it to start with, Tony had been experiencing control issues with his spaces. He didn’t want people in them. The sight in front of him felt normal as if this was how they both started every morning. It made his chest ache with want and the desire to walk over and brush a kiss over Clint’s temple. 

Shaking his head to banish the thought, Tony caught sight of Clint noticing his presence. It was always a disconcerting treat to observe the transformation from sleepy kitten to frighteningly competent superhero. Tony waited, only when Clint had once more relaxed did he wander further into the kitchen. That had been a hard learned lesson. When Clint had first been released from SHIELD after Loki, there had been more than a few occasions where any one of the Avengers had found Clint seemingly awake and aware meandering around only to learn later that Clint had been sleep-walking. Tony had firsthand knowledge of what happened when the archer was startled in such a state. Frankly, it was too early in the morning to dodge ceramic mugs or end up wearing coffee. Besides, he really liked his dove gray suit and lavender tie combination. 

Smirking at the disgruntled look tossed his way Tony merely waited until Clint acknowledged him with a nod and a wave of the hand not holding on for dear life to a purple mug with a series of cascading white arrows. Tony had coffee cups made for all the Avengers, and in a fit of pique and despair he had packed them up out of the Compound and brought them with him to Malibu. He hadn’t even been aware that they had been unpacked. 

Pleased that Clint was awake enough not to throw kitchen accouterments at him, at least without provocation, Tony finished wandering into the kitchen and made a beeline for the coffee pot and the green mug he had taken to using that was sitting on the counter for him. It had been Bruce’s and had a fist on one side. He was about to take a sip when the mug was stolen out of his hands. Tony would never admit, even under duress, the desperate whimper he made as he reached for the cup. Instead, he watched as Clint added exactly a tablespoon of sugar, stirred the cup and handed it back without preamble or ceremony. 

Tony shot a look of distrust towards Clint before taking his first sip. The familiar flavor of bitter coffee laced with just enough sugar to taste broke across his tongue causing Tony to moan with delight. His first love would always be computers but a close second was coffee. 

Leaning back against the counter in front of the coffee pot, basking in the warmth emanating from it, Tony returned to watching Clint sip coffee and stare at the oven. This close Tony could see that there were cinnamon rolls baking. As he watched, it occurred to him that things should have awkward and wasn’t. It was the most normal thing Tony had done in weeks. Being there, at that moment, it was just like it had been in the Tower for those few weeks before the Compound was completed. 

For a brief moment, Tony let his mind wander into the dangerous territory of what if and considered the possibilities that might occur if he moved over and leaned against Clint. Would his presence be tolerated? Like the way Pepper let him lean against her in fond exasperation. Would he be pushed away? The way Rhodey always shoved him away gently. The third option wasn’t even a consideration. Tony was well aware that it was asking far too much for one of those well-defined arms to come up around Tony’s shoulders to pull him in close. He hadn’t been that gullible since Obie. 

Forcing the fantasy out of his head, Tony cleared his throat and said, “I’ll be in meetings most of the day concerning several new acquisitions Stark Industries is bidding on.” 

Pale blue eyes shifted over to meet his own as Clint nodded and returned, “I’ll be heading back to the Compound. Coulson wasn’t particularly keen on letting me out of his sight, and even less so with anyone else. Pretty sure it’s an unofficial suspension of duties without actually calling it such.” Tony watched Clint shrug and sighed, “Not like most of us don’t deserve it for one reason or another.” 

Without thinking, Tony huffed in contempt. Wincing, Tony pinched his eyes tightly closed. He hadn’t had enough coffee for these sorts of conversations. It was petty, so petty to be pleased that someone was enforcing some form of punishment on the Avengers for the mess they had made. Even if it was just an unofficial suspension. Setting his coffee down, Tony rubbed his hands over his face and mumbled, “Sorry.” 

Warm, calloused hands grabbed his wrists and gently forced them down from his face. Taking a steadying breath, Tony opened his eyes to meet Clint’s gaze. The visage in front of him was considering and didn’t change once Tony’s gaze rested upon it. If anything the look he was receiving only shifted into something more serious as the moment dragged on. Clint taking several steps back broke the moment, and Tony waited. Waited for the incrimination, for angry words filled with hatred. Except when Clint spoke, it was in a level, serious tone that Tony wasn’t sure he’d ever heard before, “I was wrong, Tony. I made a slew of bad decisions and turned around and blamed you when they cost me my freedom. I was hurt, and I was angry. That wasn’t on you. You were right; I didn’t think. I didn’t think about Laura, and I damn sure didn’t think about my kids.” Here Clint’s tone turned sardonic, “I thought I couldn’t miss, but I fucking sure missed on this one.” 

Tony’s breath stilled in his chest, and he couldn’t pull in a full inhale. Not blaming him was not how things were done. It was a well-established fact that when something went to shit, it was Tony’s fault. No one ever mentioned the things he did right. Tony Stark had never managed once in his life to do the right thing because even when he made the right choice, it wasn’t good enough. There was always some way he could have done better, been better. 

The tiny ding of the kitchen timer yanked Tony out of his panicked introspection as Clint moved to remove the cinnamon rolls out of the oven. Staring at Clint, Tony waited. He didn’t want to fuck this up like he did everything else. He had missed having people around, missed Clint. The last thing Tony wanted was for the seedling of hope for friendship to be lost to anger and hate again. It hurt enough the first time to listen to the enraged words that had been hurled at him in the RAFT. Once again, Tony had been trying to do the right thing, and it hadn’t been good enough. 

The look turned on him when Clint finished with the cinnamon rolls was difficult for Tony to place. It fell somewhere in between resignation and determination. Watching as Clint took a bracing breath and crossed his arms defensively over his chest, Tony waited for whatever bombshell Clint was going to drop. 

He didn’t have to wait long before the archer said, “You know when Captain America calls, you answer. That’s sort of just a fact. And before this last disaster, it wasn’t like Steve had been anything other than a good friend and a decent commander. So you know, when Steve calls I’d answer that shit too. Because he’s my friend and I was under the impression that Steve Rogers was a good man who would never use his people as pawns to be sacrificed. He made it sound like we were Avenging, that you had lost your shit and turned into another Peirce. Then I’m stuck in a tiny airless box in a supermax because we weren’t avenging, and you weren’t trying to stick us all under your thumb. There were no bad guys, and we were just pieces of a puzzle stuck between Steve’s ego and your pride with the Accords in the middle of everything like a giant red flag.”

Something uncurled in Tony’s chest because there it was, the blame he had been looking for, waiting for. Closing his eyes, Tony tried to push his resentment down and failed as it bubbled up in an angry torrent, “I know that none of you will ever believe me. But I wasn’t _for_ the Accords. I didn’t _want_ them, didn’t _support_ them. I thought they were the worst documents I’ve ever had the misfortune of reading. I signed them because something which I couldn’t live with being harmed was threatened. I pushed the Accords to the rest of you because I thought, fuck I _trusted_ that my team would have my back. Would know me well enough to know that I’m not going to back something from Thaddeus Ross of all people without a damned good reason. Without someone’s life being in fucking danger. But I was wrong about that; wrong about the trust I placed in all of you.” 

The frustration that hadn’t had an outlet for all the abject terror Tony had carried through the entire debacle with getting the Accords thrown out gave him the courage to spew the words he’d locked behind his teeth for almost a year. Tony ignored the wide-eyed look Clint was giving him. Viciously, Tony lashed out at his conveniently located target, “You, of all people, don’t get to tell me my pride caused any of this. I advocated peaceful resolutions from the start. It didn’t matter if we agreed with the fucking things or not. The only position I saw to work from as to sign the damn things or get a front row seat to watch Ross use your fucking children as human experiments for Banner’s super soldier serum. Do you want to know the math for how likely it would be that the outcome of those tests would be anything other than sad services and tiny headstones? Cause I can tell you that they weren’t all that good to start with, and that’s before taking into account that Ross damn sure wouldn’t have left the serum alone. He would have tinkered with it. Trying to change it to suit his requirements. Thaddeus Ross wasn’t ever in the game to make more Steves. All he wanted was impermeable thoughtless meat shields he could unleash on command.” 

There were more points to his rant he would have made, except in the precise moment Tony stopped to take a breath Friday piped up and informed him, “Boss, Director Coulson on the line for you. He says it's important but can wait if you’re in the middle of something.”

Rubbing a shaking hand over his forehead, Tony decided that he needed a distraction before he threw the archer out and ruined the tentative truce. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Tony said, “It’s okay Friday. Patch the call through.” 

Seconds later Coulson’s face appeared hovering over the center of the island counter. The blandly pleased expression immediately morphed into something stern before the Director of SHIELD stated, evidently unimpressed, “Agent Barton, I believe you have a plane to catch and that your furlough agreement specifically included the understanding that you were not to upset Dr. Stark.”

Tony glanced over at Clint and found a sheepish expression on the archer’s face before it was blanked out and hidden beneath a jester's smile and the flippant statement, “That was the next item on my to-do list, Director. I’ll just go get to it.” 

With a smile tugging the corners of his mouth up, Tony waited while Clint took himself out of the kitchen heading for the stairs up to the bedrooms. Returning his gaze to Coulson, Tony asked, “So what do I owe the pleasure, Director?” 

He had received a tiny smile before the Director said, “I have good news, bad news, worse news, and business. Which would you like to start with?” 

Tony grinned, his good humor somewhat restored as he returned, “Let’s hear the worse news first.” 

In the holo-screen Coulson nodded and held a sheaf of paper up saying, “Since the new Accords ratification and implementation I have received no less than six hundred and forty-two requests for non-emergency aid.” 

Tony wasn’t surprised. Every country in the world would be waiting to test the Avengers and their resolve of negligible casualties. Cocking his head to the left, Tony asked, “So what’s the bad news then?”

Coulson sighed and said, dropping the sheaf of papers, “I have six hundred and forty-two missions to send the Avengers on and no way of accurately prioritizing them. Which isn’t taking into consideration Captain Rogers and his driving campaign to gain “good” press so the Avengers can start clearing their name of the moniker monsters.” 

A sneer crossed over Tony’s features that he couldn’t contain at the mention of Steve fucking Rogers. The raised eyebrow from Coulson informed him that the expression had been noted. Rolling his eyes, Tony asked, “Well if that’s all your bad news, what’s the good?” 

There was a glimmer of mischief in Coulson’s eyes that Tony recognized for decades of hanging out with Rhodey. The statement that followed and the malicious glee it was said with had Tony hard-pressed not to chuckle. 

“I have an operational Avengers team that I can start sending out at a moment’s notice.”

Six hundred and forty-two missions was a heavy workload for any team, but more so for a bunch of people who were more versed in using fists instead of words. Tony had a sneaking feeling that more than eighty percent of those missions were diplomacy. Things he or Natasha would have handled without getting anyone else involved before their little War. 

If he were still on the team, Tony would have taken Sam and Peter along during those trips to train them on how to handle such situations. Sam had the right temperament for that sort of delicate work and Peter was young enough to learn. Looking Coulson over, Tony noted that the Director was up to something. Raising an eyebrow, Tony warily asked, “What devious plan do you have up your sleeve Director?” 

The muted look of elation that suffused Coulson’s face should have worried Tony. Except, the only feeling Tony had was that the look made him feel like he was about to prank frat house row with Rhodey all over again. When Coulson responded, his tone was as level as any other time, “I would like to requisition, from you Dr. Stark, an Artificial Intelligence for the specific purposes of security for Avengers Compound, twenty-four hours monitoring of all registered Avengers as per their pardons, priority sorting of incoming Accords communications, and surveillance of threats on an international scale to provide forewarning of incoming global threats.” 

Tony sucked in a breath of shock. Ice formed in his veins as he realized to fulfill Coulson’s request Tony would have to make a trip to the Compound. To where Steve was. There was no one else in the world who knew AI technology like he did. Installing one of his computerized children wasn’t something the average electrical engineer could handle. Chewing on his lip, Tony pointed the finger at Coulson and said, “If I do that, if I install one of my babies in the Avengers Compound, I want written guarantees that they won’t be used for anything other than what we agree too. That I’ll have remote access to assist with upgrades and repairs. And that I’ll have the right to remove the AI mind if I find out that the terms weren’t followed to the letter.” 

Coulson just gave him a look before declaring, “I would expect nothing less Dr. Stark.” 

Releasing a breath, Tony said, “I’ll have to think about it.” 

Tony reeled. Out of everyone in the world who had ever asked to be permitted the use of one of his AI’s there had never been a single one he’d thought was actually serious. Who might actually understand what they were asking for. His AI’s were _minds_ , they learned. Anything that learned needed teaching. Closing his eyes, Tony ran down the list of daily tasking required by whoever took control of the Avengers. They had all referred to Steve fucking Rogers as the leader of the Avengers, but Tony had run the scene from behind the curtain. 

It had been Tony who had ensured they had what they needed to get to each mission location. That they had missions. Tony who had ensured that gear and uniforms were always in repair. Tony who had run interference with government groups who thought they could be controlled like insolent children. It had been Tony’s phone that rang with emergencies and Tony who had filed the paperwork after each encounter the Avengers to report to Coulson in his New SHIELD. Because someone needed to be aware of what they were doing just in case they got in over their heads. Two years ago Coulson and his ragtag organization wouldn’t have been much more than an escape plan, now though they are the saving grace of the Avengers. 

“I can send over an initial contract for you to look over if you’d like?” 

Coulson’s voice breaks through his introspection startling him before Tony sighs and admits, “You know the Avengers won’t take kindly to this, nor to me. I’ve got enough nightmares of Rogers finishing Siberia that I’d like to avoid repeating it during the daylight.” 

A sigh came from the hologram before Coulson says, voice resigned, “I can’t get rid of them. I can promise that any unprofessional behavior will be met with disciplinary action. Unfortunately, we both know that those are just charming words as there is nothing left for me to take away from the Avengers presently.”

Shrugging a shoulder, Tony took a deep breath and announced, “Send the contract over, and I’ll consider it. This is something I’ll have to think about, but I don’t see why something can’t be worked out.” 

The look on Coulson’s face was concerned before the man capitulated and nodded. The sound of footsteps had Coulson’s face blanking back out before the man winked and said, “I’ll leave you to your pinning Dr. Stark. Expect my email by close of business.” 

Glaring Tony snapped, “See if I consider your proposal now Director Coulson.” 

And for once, Friday shut the call down allowing Tony his petty revenge for Coulson’s comment. He hadn’t quite gotten over his annoyance when Clint appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. They looked at each other several moments before Clint hesitated and said, “I just wanted to let you know I was heading out and that it’s been an eye-opener. Sorry about earlier, apparently I’ve got a few more issues to work through than I’d thought.” 

A rueful smile twitched one side of his mouth upwards before Tony returned, “I might have a few to work on as well.” 

If Tony hadn’t been watching he’d never have seen the brief smile that flits over Clint’s face. There one moment and gone the next. The archer shrugged and said offering his hand, “I’ll keep in touch, okay?”

Tony took the offered handshake and remarked, “I’d like that,” before he could think better of it. A second later, Tony decided it was worth it when Clint lit up like a Christmas tree in pleasure. That look, Tony was sure, would find its way into his dreams and for once he thought sleep might not be that a bad thing if Clint’s happy face was waiting on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a monster to write; I kept getting stuck, and that sucks. I went through eight versions before finally (FINALLY!) figuring out how to move forward. 
> 
> I think I've got a direction for this to go in now, though I'm totally open to suggestions. Comment those if you have them. No promises on me using your ideas of course, but I'm always open.


	3. Testing the Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arrival, Conversations, Installation, why is there a perimeter breach?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap guys! Your responses are AWESOME! I love them, and I so hope they keep coming!
> 
> Still rated for swearing.
> 
> ~*~ is a story break. 
> 
> Revised 07242017

It was silent for once as Tony sat in the middle of his workshop and spun around on his chair. The design hadn’t changed much from the original that had been blown off the cliff face. His space was still longer than wide with prized cars sitting down at one end gleaming like the bitter jewels they were. The other end saw the beat up couch that had been stolen from the MIT engineering dorms oh so long ago with Rhodey when they had moved into that shitty apartment. 

Time had seen his anger cool and between his therapist and Coulson the guilt over not doing enough, not being enough, had eased with the knowledge that none of his former friends had died for his mistakes. He had done his best, as shitty as his best had been. There hadn’t been anything more he could have done with the information that he had available. Tony had even mostly come to terms with the thought that no matter what choice he had made things would have turned out badly. 

There were things he would have done differently if given a second chance, especially in light of how little faith the Avengers really had in him. Unfortunately for Coulson, just because he’d started on the road to forgiveness didn’t mean that Tony wanted anything to do with his former teammates. Though Pepper bringing him donuts had been a highlight when his CEO had realized that he was in fact processing emotions like a grown up. Her words. 

That had started six weeks prior. Now Tony was sitting in his workshop contemplating the upcoming visit to the Compound. It had taken four phone calls and three business meetings to finalize a contract that Tony felt comfortable signing in regards to one of his AIs. Since that day, Tony had spent more hours in the workshop consecutively than he had since living with the Avengers and being in charge of innovation and maintenance of their gear. In the safety of his own head, Tony freely admitted that he might be getting old and all-nighters weren’t as easy to recover from as they were when he was twenty. 

It had been nice to invent something that was specifically to protect someone. Looking over the briefcases on a clear workbench, Tony couldn’t bring himself to regret the sleepless nights. Two AI’s had been the product of his blood, sweat, and tears. One integrated and one peripheral. He’d named them Yinsen and Opiekun, and they would be, primarily, in charge of the Compound security. Yinsen for the building along with a host of additional duties ranging from communications to logistics. Per Phil’s request, his newest child also had backdoor access to every global server for every major intelligence agency Tony could remember. 

Opiekun, Opie for short, had formerly been thought up as a subroutine for Yinsen. But through the emails Tony had exchanged with Clint, he had learned that the Barton children had been confined to the Compound for safety. The decision made sense, but the children were apparently driving the adults spare with their antics. So Tony had redesigned the routine into an actual robot that would be able to go where the kids could go. 

The hardest part about putting an AI in the Compound would be maintaining it. AI’s were excessively superior programs and regularly required updating. With a sigh, Tony spun in his chair aimlessly. He’d never trust SHIELD with the maintenance of one of his children.

SHIELD employed reliable techs, and Tony respected them for what they were capable of and admired them for having the intelligence to say when they couldn’t do something. Raj, the senior technician in the Compound, communicated with Tony regularly on any issues that cropped regarding the Avengers gear. In the beginning, Tony had been particularly prickly about dealing with the man. Even now, it was hit or miss if Tony would offer his expertise or force Raj to get Coulson involved. 

Unsurprisingly, Steve fucking Rogers was a sore topic. 

Raj had at least been smart enough to not call back regarding the super soldier’s gear when the man had come to Tony with a question about the textile. He gave Raj props for recognizing a losing battle when he saw one even as Tony seemed to be eaten alive by anxiety and guilt. It was hard to care that without his help, Tony could be sending Steve fucking Rogers into battle with a sub par product. Which in turn drove him into a self-destructive spiral for the subconscious wish for harm to come to the super soldier. Tony still couldn’t bring himself to give Raj the information SHIELD wanted. 

Shaking his head to banish the memories, Tony resisted the urge to sigh. Most of his time was actually taken up by administrative duties to Stark Industries R&D department and dealing with Pepper trying to manage him. He was apparently the majority shareholder and was required to weigh in on the quarterly review boards. Tony suspected that Pepper and her super sneaky ninja business skills were to blame for that, but so far hadn’t been able to find any proof. 

A ping precisely tuned to cut through his music announced the arrival of an email. Tony gestured for Friday to pull it up in a hologram. A small smile forming on his face when he saw the sender. 

When Clint had left Tony had been fully expecting things to return to exactly how they had been before the archer had visited. To his everlasting surprise, Clint had emailed him not an hour later to say he’d boarded his plane and would check back in when they landed. Tony had stared at that first email in shock for nearly a half hour, reading the words over and over. After that first email, Tony had received at least one every single day, sometimes multiple and could always count on text messages while he was in board meetings. 

Those little messages always brought a smile to his face and frequently made him laugh. Tony thought they were on better terms than ever before and certainly knew more about each other. 

The email he was reading was a long rambling tirade about how Clint’s children were driving him crazy. It seemed like it was a production and a half to even let the smaller agents go out on the lawn and play like normal kids. Tony could understand the paranoia. Pictures had been taken of Laura and the kids on the farm. Pictures which had been taken close enough that anything could have happened and no one would have been the wiser until it was far too late. It was the reason he had made Opie after all. 

Smirking, Tony couldn’t help but respond with a missive telling Clint that driving him crazy wasn’t a drive, just a short walk and the exercise would do him good.

Turning away, amused despite his anxiety, Tony checked the briefcases one more time. There were four, each identical to the others. One held Yinsen, one held Opie, one held tools, cables, and tablets for installing Yinsen and the last held a series of presents. Little things for the children who were in the compound designed to keep them out of the hair of adults, make their brain matter do something other than annoy, and give them a way to call help that didn’t look like a way to request help. He’d wanted to make something that kidnappers would over look. 

Spinning in his chair, Tony caught sight of Dum-E trundling along with a broom he was holding upside down. His hapless bot was attempting to sweep with the handling. Tony could only stare for a moment before he started chuckling. Dum-E was such a character. His fault, Tony knew. That was the price of blackout engineering. Shaking his head, fond amusement tugging the corners of his mouth up, Tony left the workshop. He needed sleep if he was going to fly cross country and put up with the Avengers. 

~*~

They had boarded the plane without issue. The plane had taken off without issue. The plane had flown across the country without issue. The plane had landed without issue. SHIELD had been waiting on the tarmac to escort him and his goon squad to the Compound without issue. Everything so far had gone off without issue. 

Which didn’t explain why there was a nervous ball of dread in the pit of his stomach threatening to make him puke at any moment. 

Tony was fidgeting in the back of an all-black SUV waiting for the three-hour drive from the airport to the Compound to be over. He tried to convince himself that this wasn’t a Funvee ride, that it wasn’t going to turn into a funvee ride. He’d _promised_ Rhodey that he would never ride in the funvee without him ever again. And a promise was a promise. 

They turned a corner, and suddenly the Compound rose into view. Tony had never before been so glad to see the sharp modern lines of the structure. Or to see Coulson already standing at the edge of the driveway ready to greet his arrival. If Tony weren't pseudo involved with Clint and one hundred percent sure that Agent man was married to his work and didn’t have time for mortal concerns of the flesh, Tony would kiss him; consequences be damned. 

Stepping out of the SUV with one of his press smiles firmly in place, Tony greeted Coulson and allowed himself to be ushered into the Compound. His goon squad tightly surrounding him with their presence. Movement out of the corner of his eye nearly had Tony groaning. That shape had been far too big to be a child. So much for Coulson’s promise that they would leave him alone. 

The main conference room was just how he remembers it. A soothing dark gray with lighter accents, glass walls tinted to show occupancy but not faces, glass table, and surprisingly comfortable chairs. Every scrap of glass had been fitted to accept holographic projections because Tony loved showing off and it had been his conference room when the Compound had been designed. 

He was halfway through signing the second set of agreements concerning his computerized children when there was a knock on the door as it was opened. Glancing up, Tony wasn’t surprised to see Steve fucking Rogers walking in. A glance out of the corner of his eye to Coulson gave Tony a warm feeling in his chest. Coulson looked pissed. For Coulson. It was hard to tell with the Director, the man had the best poker face Tony had ever seen. 

His goon squad immediately took up their defensive positions. Rolling Tony back from the table so he would be in the middle of them. Tony didn’t even fight the satisfied grin. Whatever Pepper was paying them, Tony was about to double. Anyone who was willing to go toe to toe with a confirmed super soldier was well worth the money. 

There were four of them. The twins, who Tony called Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum were six foot five inches and if they didn’t weigh every ounce of three hundred pounds of solid muscle Tony would eat his favorite tie. S’Kiho had come with a letter, a fucking goddamned paper letter, of introduction from the King of Wakanda. And who was Tony Stark to turn down a Wakandian warrior who had been directed by his holy monarch to defend and protect a puny American business tycoon? He’d been dubbed the March Hare due to the man’s proclivity and willingness towards violence about tea. 

The final member of his squad had come from Coulson himself when the Director had figured out that Tony was bringing his own protection to deal with the Avengers if need be. The file said his name was Andrew Jacoby and detailed a list of assault charges that had never stuck. That most of the man’s references were above Tony’s clearances and wasn’t _that_ saying something, had been thrilling and a little bit alarming. 

That these four men were willing, and crazy enough, to stand in his defense against Steve fucking Rogers tickled him pink. 

Doing his best to just ignore the tension in the room, Tony inched his way between the twins to grab the final set of documents that needed his signature so he could try and concentrate on putting his name next to all of the little sign here post-it notes. It wasn’t the most easily accomplished task without a table, but his signature was messy, a bit more mess wouldn’t hurt anything. 

Tension filled the little room while Coulson Steve fucking Rogers continued to stare at each other while Tony resolutely refused to acknowledge anything but the papers in his hand. The silence was as thick as pea soup until Coulson’s voice broke through asking, “What can I do to help you, Captain? As you can see, I am currently in a meeting with Dr. Stark about contracting server upgrades and maintenance.”

Tony almost snorted in disbelief. So that was how the requisition of an Artificial Intelligence for the Avengers Compound had been played off. Instead, he just rolled his eyes at the contract and continued signing. Coulson had required a signature for each clause they had hashed out previously. Most of the time it was enough for Tony to just skim through the wording to verify that nothing had been changed. He’d read the ‘standard verbiage’ word for word, just in case.

“Doctor now is it? I’d heard they were giving those out.”

Just ten little words stated in that disbelieving deadpan tone of Steve’s that the man always got when he was an ass. Tony wanted to just ignore it, wanted to let the words slide. Instead, he heard himself snapping unrepentantly back, not even bothering to look up, “My titles are well earned. Know anything about that Rogers?”

There was nothing that they hadn’t done better than bickering. Tony had always refused to just roll over and let people run roughshod all over him, and Steve thought he was still the little guy from Brooklyn to which no one listened. 

Tony couldn’t remember a time when he’d hesitated at pushing his way into a situation that didn’t require his input. It was a skill he’d learned from his dear old Dad. Steve, on the other hand, had a neurosis about not backing down to anyone. Which was a great amusement when it was directed at anyone other than Tony. They’d gotten under each other’s skin from their very first interaction. Even after they had finally arrived at friendly terms, they had rarely managed to get along for more than ten minutes at a time before an argument would break out. 

Coulson’s immediate interjection at Steve’s mumbled _oh really?_ was a godsend. Out of everything Tony didn’t want to deal with, Steve’s vindictiveness was at the top of the list. Right under Steve fucking Rogers himself.

“Captain Rogers, was there something you wanted? I distinctly remember ordering you, and the rest of the Avengers, to keep in the communal areas or external training grounds until further notice. So, if there isn’t a reason for you to be in my presence I would highly recommend you return to either location post haste. I don’t give orders just to hear myself speak.” 

It was moments like this that Tony wished that the Barnes situation had turned out better. He would have liked to sit down and compare Steve fucking Rogers’ management tactics with the cyborg. It might still happen, he was sure, if Tony could ever get to the point where he could look at the former Winter Soldier and not see the video of that silver arm murdering his mother. 

Tony looked up when the pause between Coulson’s statement started to drag on to see Steve fucking Rogers hesitating in the doorway and shifting nervously from one foot to the other before the super soldier asked respectfully, “Yes, sir. I was wondering if you had come to a decision regarding Sharon Carter’s inclusion into the Avengers.” 

Frowning, Tony wondered why on earth anyone would consider Sharon for the Avengers. He recalled Sharon from when they were children. Those weren’t particularly fond memories. Sharon, who was several years younger than Tony, had always been a bossy know-it-all with an inability to compromise on even the simplest of things. There had been a peanut butter disaster that had left a distinct impression on his ten-year-old self. She had engaged in a spectacular meltdown because it hadn’t been what she’d wanted as a snack. Tony had sat in the kitchen of the fifth avenue manor utterly bewildered by the entire exchange. He would have been severely punished by Jarvis, and Howard would have been enraged beyond sense, for such a display. Sharon had been soothed and comforted before being given something different. That anything had changed in the intervening years was unlikely. 

The last Tony had actually heard anything about Aunt Peggy’s niece and was that odd since Tony couldn’t remember Aunt Peggy having any siblings; was that Sharon had made a bit of a name for herself at SHIELD before it fell. Outside of that, there were just the rants he’d gotten from Clint over the past several weeks. The last had Tony curious because it was the first time Tony had ever heard Clint be openly disdainful of anyone and the archer refused to explain his opinion. 

Coulson’s voice brought Tony’s attention back to the conference room saying, “I do not have a decision. Therefore, I cannot provide you with that information. As it stands, there is an issue I’m looking into concerning fraternization. SHIELD’s policy is rather precise in these matters.”

Turning his attention to Steve fucking Rogers, Tony was treated to the sight of a blush crawling up the super soldier’s neck. A slow Cheshire smile grew as Tony taunted, “You dog, Rogers.” 

The disapproving glance from Coulson was caught out of the corner of Tony’s eye before the man reprimanded, “Dr. Stark, professional behavior is appreciated in all my business meeting, so I’ll thank you for keeping that in mind from here on out.”

Smirk firmly in place, Tony raised his hands in mock surrender. Coulson knew enough about some of Tony’s less than legal hobbies to make his life uncomfortable should Tony tempt his luck any further. His efforts received a raised eyebrow before Coulson’s attention once more returned to Steve fucking Rogers taking Tony’s with it. 

The show of emotions dancing across the super soldier’s face could have been amusing under different circumstances. At least until Steve fucking Rogers’ face settled on a mulish expression that Tony was well acquainted with. That face meant that Steve was pulling out his most stubborn streak. Resigning himself to a lengthy argument, Tony sat back in his chair to wait as patiently as possible for Coulson to finish the show. 

Except that the objections Tony was waiting for from Steve were never permitted the chance to be voiced when Coulson’s pen was set down on the conference room table with a final sounding snap. With the attention of the room, Coulson threaded his hands together on the table and stated, “You will have my decision when I make it Captain. Just like anyone else. No matter how many times you ask, I will not make my decision any faster. Now, since you seem to be under a mistaken impression that orders are merely cute suggestions you can disregard when it suits you I would like to remind you of one thing. Your presence here in this compound is entirely at my benevolence. I expect my orders to be followed, precisely down to the letter. I recommend you do so unless there is a damn good reason to not. The sign of a good leader is not how well he gives orders. Any fool can give an order Captain. A good leader knows which orders to follow and which to ignore. As far as I’ve seen, you are hot headed and unreasonable concerning both the orders you follow and the ones you disregard. If you can’t get yourself squared away, I will do it for you.” 

Bowing his head over the contract on his lap, Tony tried to hide a pleased smirk. He’d tried before to get that point through to Steve without any success. Granted, Tony had never said it so succinctly which was probably half the reason Steve had never gotten his point. 

“Now that we have settled that little tiff, I expect you to return to the Avenger approved locations without protest. Dismissed Captain.”

Coulson’s voice snagged Tony’s wandering attention and told the genius that he’d missed something. Since it was Steve fucking Rogers, Tony wasn’t particularly concerned that it had been anything important. Looking up Tony was just in time to see Steve fucking Rogers pull the door closed behind him. 

Shaking his head, Tony asked, “Teach me how to handle him like that?” 

Watching Coulson smirk was a treat but much to Tony’s disappointment, Coulson ignored Tony’s question and said instead, “My apologies for the disruption. I suppose I should have warned you and prepared for him to be stubborn about everything. Pity. I was just starting to think he would be sensible and I’d be able to trust him with leading the Avengers.”

Shrugging, Tony scooted his chair back to the table and finished putting his signature on the lines designated as needing it. Pushing the document across the table, Tony remarked, “If it’s all the same Director, I think it would be wise for me to get to business. The sooner I’m done the sooner I can get out of everyone’s hair.” 

Tony watched Coulson frown, but the other man didn’t say anything else before standing and leading the way out of the conference room. While they were walking towards the server room, Coulson did shoot him a look before declaring gently, “You are welcome here as often, and as long, as you want Dr. Stark. Try and keep that in mind as I look over the contracts for discrepancies.”

Looking anywhere but at Coulson, Tony managed a nod in response even as he knew the words were a placating lie. He wasn’t welcome anywhere that the housed the Avengers and that was just a fact. The familiar path to the server farm soothing the disquiet raging inside his head. 

Out of every advancement that had been installed into the Compound, the server farm had been Tony’s crowning achievement in secrecy. It wasn’t a stretch of the imagination to think that SHIELD couldn’t figure out how to maintain it. Every little detail was a unique design from anything else on the market which had all been secured with biometrics. As they turned a corner, Tony couldn’t help but smile. The slightly cloudy doors slide open like the well-oiled machines they were as the database manager intoned, “Welcome Creator.” 

Realizing that Coulson was watching him, Tony forced the happy smile into something in keeping with his arrogantly superior persona and smugly announcing, “Biometrics.”

He wasn’t surprised when Coulson’s only reaction was a raised eyebrow before saying, “You have four hours before I retrieve you for a mandatory break Dr. Stark.” There was an amused smirk that peaked out at the corners of Coulson’s mouth, “Use them wisely.”

Tony just shook his head. He had always liked Coulson. Ever since the man had threatened to tase him and watch Supernanny. Instead of commenting, Tony relieved his goon squad of their briefcases before sending them out with Coulson. The director would ensure that his people had somewhere to wait comfortably. It wasn’t like Tony needed protection in the server farm. It was the heart of the Compound and Tony had made doubly sure that it was damn near impenetrable. 

What looked like glass doors were actually clear adamantium with pure silver nano scale circuitry running through every inch. Annoyingly it made the final product cloudy but if any of the circuits were damaged in any way the room would be placed into a lockdown mode. Seven sets of blast doors would automatically close between whoever was attempting to get in and the servers. The blast doors were less about stopping an attacker and more about obscuring visuals for just long enough for the critical server sets into the specially designed safes that were deep under the foundation of the Compound. There wasn’t a blueprint in existence that detailed those safes. 

Tony would be installing Yinsen and Opie’s back ups onto those servers. 

There were also weapons that Tony had designed based off SHIELD’s phase two concepts that used electricity or repulsor tech instead of more traditional weaponry that could be used to repel invaders. All of the defenses were set so that any installed AI would have complete autonomous control. If the AI wasn’t enough, Tony himself had digital back doors into the server room to remotely trigger the sets to descend into the safes where they would be protected until he or his designated representative could get to the Compound. 

The first thing Tony did when the room was empty was run the Compound through its passive defenses for a system check. There was no sense in laying all his cards on the table concerning his electronic children. The next test he ran was over the programmed defenses. Ultron and the death of JARVIS would never happen again if Tony had anything to say about it. So there was failsafe after failsafe installed into everything that would contain and neutralize threats should they occur in the system and mutated faster than Tony could manage. 

Only once Tony was satisfied that Yinsen would be as safe as possible while install did Tony open the first briefcase and begin the lengthy process of initialization. 

~*~

Awareness of an issue came slowly several hours after he had started. It began with a tingle at the base of his skull. A very familiar tingle; one that he knew would escalate if ignored. The tingling sensation would travel up the back of his head until there were matching points in his temples. Tony knew that if he continued to ignore the feeling a ringing would start in his ears that sounded like it was resonating from the inside of his brain. After that, it would come to a mind numbing debilitating migraine that would force him to stop whatever he was doing and rest or face unconsciousness. 

Extracting his head from the middle of the server set he had just finished installing Yinsen’s servers into, Tony sat back on his haunches. Tugging on his beard, he stared at the wall as his mind ran through the possibilities. BARF made him sensitive to electromagnetic pulses, and Tony had installed a similar technology in his latest Iron Man suit. The one no one knew existed, the one that officially _didn’t_. Someone was using equipment that utilized electromagnetics in a frequency that was close enough to Tony’s gear that he was reacting to it. 

Adrenaline shot through his system. Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Tony started typing the commands for a fast load of Yinsen. It would mean hours, possibly days, of work to smooth out the AI’s code later but Tony needed eyes in the Compound. Without a terminal to work with his only option for checking the external Compound defenses would be through Yinsen. His hand hesitated over the utterly ridiculous red execute button. Pressing his lips together Tony tapped it. Protecting the people he cared about was, as ever, his first priority and there were children in the Compound. Risking their lives when he could do something was unacceptable. 

He was already moving towards the table where his briefcases resided when the entire Compound glitched. Few people realized just how integrated an AI actually was to a Stark system. The security system touched everything in the Compound. Nothing was excluded. Lights, temperature controls, holographic projectors, televisions, cameras, sensors, the internet, and intraweb. Everything that touched the electrical system was under the supervision of the security system. From the Compound’s observation deck a person could sit in the middle of the web the security system formed like a giant fat spider and play puppet master. An AI eliminated the need for the puppet master, especially in times of attack. A human mind would hesitate, a computer that was well programmed and trained wouldn’t. Yinsen would be able to calculate probabilities, trajectories, and potential outcomes in a fraction of the time it would take Coulson. 

Tony always wanted an AI as his back up. 

As the lights flickered between emergency back ups and illuminated, Tony finished walking over to the table and started opening Opiekun’s briefcase to begin her boot sequence. There was a feedback screech as Yinsen’s program patched into the loudspeakers. A series of computer noises followed as Tony’s fingers flew over a new tablet and he worried absently that the hard load had failed and Yinsen couldn’t get settled into the system correctly. Tony had a feeling that he didn’t have time to try a second time. 

The noise cut off after a moment, so Tony asked, “Yinsen my friend, are you awake?”

The precise Persian tones he’d heard so often in his dreams replied promptly, “For you Stark? Always.”

A sigh escaped him as Tony entered that last set of passwords for Opie before Tony ordered, “Right. Sorry, buddy. I’m going to have to ask you to get to work immediately. I need a perimeter check all the way out to the first periphery circle. Tell me what the birds and the bees are up to today.”

Double checking that Opie’s processes were running ordinarily, Tony set the protector sequence to boot. She was needed to protect the children which was her default programming, but Tony also didn’t want her hurting anyone else in the process. Coulson would never forgive him, and it would just throw gasoline on an already volatile situation with the rest of the Avengers. So, the failsafe would be activated to make sure the likelihood of an accident was minimized. 

“Stark, periphery circles one through six have been breached by hominoids and perimeters one through five, have been disabled. Estimated infiltration is four minutes. How would you like to proceed?” 

Yinsen’s voice drew Tony’s attention back to the server farm, and he cursed for a moment. As a safe room the server farm was ideal, but to mount a counter attack, it would be a bit like throwing darts blindfolded. Spinning on his heel to sweep his gaze over the stacks Tony decided announcing, “Alright. Creator Override protocol. Lock the building down and black it out. Nothing in and nothing out. Drop the critical sets down to the safes and set internal defenses to high alert. When the breach, funnel them this way just like we practiced. Anything that doesn’t pass a biometric scan gets mowed down.”

A little tinny trill caught Tony’s attention as Opie finished loading and her repulsors kicked on so she could hover in front of his face. Tony smiled at the sight, he didn’t think he’d ever get tired of it. At the second trill, he told her, “Opie, time to see what you’re made of. Make Daddy proud and find the children. Hide them and keep them safe. Programmed safe personnel will relieve you when everything is safe again. Understood?”

The little bot dipped in what Tony had always thought of as a curtsey before she declared, “It will be done, Creator. No harm to a hair on their precious little head while I’m online.” 

Tony nodded and watched as she flew out of the room. Once she was gone Tony heard the securing pistons turn over to lock the doors closed and prime the blast doors. As he waited for his override to finish implementing, Tony closed and locked all the briefcases. There wasn’t anything particularly worth stealing, but easy access to Stark tech that hadn’t yet been patented wasn’t going to happen. 

It was a few minutes before Yinsen’s voice came through the speakers with an update. When it did, the AI delivered the information smartly saying, “Creator override protocol implemented. Laboratories seven, twelve, fourteen and four locked down with SHIELD personnel inside. Hulk playroom locked down with Dr. Banner in residence per his wishes. Captain America, Scarlet Witch, the Vision, and Ant Man currently held in stand by in the communal kitchen. Status: deployable. Director Coulson has requested commander access to direct defenses. The request has been denied per Creator override protocol. The Director would also like me to inform you that he would appreciate more than five minutes warning in the future. Hawkeye and Black Widow are currently unaccounted for through sensors and cameras though reported in the building. Thor Odinson is currently off-world. The Falcon has been notified of the situation though it is unlikely he will be of any additional assistance as he was out-state currently. Spiderman is currently in fifth-period study hall and has not been notified due to prior agreement with his guardian. The Barton smaller agents have been corralled into a broom closet, and Opiekun is standing guard. Laura Barton has been redirected to the Director’s office and will be secured in precisely two point seven seconds. Additional Lang’s not currently in residence, and no external is on file to assist in determining a location. Further instruction is required.” 

With a deep breath to settle his nerves, Tony nods. Shaking his left hand out before pulling his gun Tony responded to Yinsen absently as he checked the magazine. “Now we wait and gather as much information on these assholes as we can. Faces, height, weight, weapons of choice the whole shebang. Work with Coulson to keep them away from the noncombatants as I’ve got no visuals in here.”

The moment Tony finished, an explosion rocked the Compound and rattled the building. Smirking, Tony took up position facing the doors. It wouldn’t be long now. He might have a suit with him, but that didn’t mean that Tony Stark was helpless and he was more than prepared to show the world just how dangerous he had become in the last year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout Outs:  
> BLynn1: because I totally fell in love with your statement about Steve not realizing that orders aren't cute suggestions.  
> LadySmuag, and DT Maxwell (Draya): For giving, and supporting, naming the new AI Yinsen.  
> Irda: For pointing out the inconsistency in canon about Steve's military rank.


	4. Staging the Props

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint. Conversations and the flip side of the coin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys, this ended up being 9,000 some words. It's a beast of a chapter considering I try to keep it to about five thousand per. 
> 
> Again a Huge Thank You to everyone who comments. To those of you who gave me suggestions I turned down, I'm sorry but there are just some places I'm not willing to go. 
> 
> To my Bash Steve fans, you might want to look somewhere else. I'm not bashing anyone, I'm trying to foster growth and maturity. 
> 
> ~*~ is a time lapse.
> 
> Revised 08032017

Sleepless nights had become the new normal. Alongside secrets and lies and half truths. And Clint Barton was tired of it. Tired of feeling like he was grasping at straws, tired of feeling like he was the only one who cared about figuring their shit storm out. It didn’t help matters that the picture Clint was scraping together was cloudy and distorted. He was pretty sure once he’d gotten all the pieces together the view wasn’t going to be pretty. Looking back, Clint thought it had started as he’d brought the quinjet in for landing at the Compound. 

Laura had been standing there, arms crossed with her hair blowing in the turbulence like an Amazonian princess. Powerful and proud and oh so fierce. She had been such an incredible sight for sore eyes, and right there at that moment, he’d remembered every reason why he’d married her in the first place. It had only taken him a moment to realize that Laura wasn’t smiling and the kids weren’t standing next to her. Clint had seen her angry, had seen her inconsolable with it, but never before had he seen Laura’s face filled with so much rage. It painted her in hard, uncompromising lines. Guilt rose up to eat at him, Clint had promised after all. 

Laura’s tirade had started with how dare you and ended with you should all be ashamed of yourselves. It had been Clint’s first clue that not everything was how it seemed and that it was possible he’d over reacted at some point and would pay for it dearly. Later, after everyone had once more settled down into the Compound with the threat of the debriefing that would be held first thing the next morning hanging over their heads, Clint had gotten his own personal attack. She’d demanded to know what he’d been thinking, why he’d let things get so far out of hand. She’d asked him where his perspective was, and Clint hadn’t had an answer. Not for her, and not for himself.

Not after the tirade on the tarmac, and not after Coulson’s expression of contempt and refusal to look at any of them. Not after learning about the threat to his family. Not after learning that it had been Tony Stark who had fought every known power to get them pardoned and permitted to come home. Laura had walked away that night with tears in her eyes and venom in her voice as she’d told him _I don’t know you anymore Clint Barton, and I’m not sure I ever did. Not if you can’t see how wrong you were about this_.

The words had hurt, stinging deeper than Clint had thought anything rightly should. The emotional pain only further fueling his resentment and frustration. Hours passed as he found himself sequestered on the range. Arrow after arrow slicing through the air solving nothing. Shooting until his fingers were bloody and his shoulders wouldn’t permit the draw. And Clint had just ignored it all until he couldn’t any longer. Then he’d broken out the less traditional weaponry to continue destroying targets that only existed in his mind while the smell of cordite filled his nose. Over and over until exhaustion and jet lag finally caught up with him. Laying on his stomach in the small, simulated sniper’s nest, Clint just stared at the targets down range as his eyes blurred with tears he wouldn’t allow to fall. He was free, and his family was safe. It was enough for the moment. 

Coulson had found him in the communal living room later and turned over a set of pictures without a word. Photo after photo of Laura and the kids. Clint flipped through them, absently wondering who used actual printed photos still, as he locked knees that went wobbly in shock. He recognized the setting that had been immortalized. Clint had been in town on a grocery run picking up the few things they couldn’t barter or trade for through the little farming community they’d settled in. He’d only been gone for two hours and knew that there hadn’t been anyone around when he’d left the property. Clint had always been obsessively careful about those things. The last thing in the world he wanted to get was a phone call saying someone was dead on the farm. 

Giving into the need to sit, Clint collapsed down onto a couch, looking through the pictures again. Wondering who would do something like that? Who would think to use the Bartons, of all people, as collateral? And who was the poor sucker that had the misfortune of having Clint’s family held over their head?

Coulson was sitting across from him on a coffee table when Clint looked back up. His former handler looked grim as he explained, one long elegant finger tapping the stack in Clint’s hands, “Those pictures were turned over to me by Tony Stark and were reportedly a reminder of what would happen should the Avengers fail to sign the Accords. The only reason nothing happened to Laura and the kids is because Tony Stark is a better man than you.” 

There wasn’t much Clint could say to that in his own defense, and he didn’t try. Clint had made his peace with his choices a long time ago. He wasn’t sure Coulson was referring to the circumstances that had brought him on SHIELD’s radar though. And yeah, right that moment, Tony Stark probably was the better of the two of them. It wasn’t Tony Stark who had slipped off in the middle of the night after promising his wife he was retired. Instead, Clint just returned his gaze down to the pictures in his hand. Distantly, Clint heard his own voice asking, “Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

His gaze was drawn back up to Coulson when silence met his question. Clint had been friends with Coulson for almost a decade and had never once seen such a conflicted look on the other man's face. No matter what Clint had pulled Coulson had always accepted his antics with a sort of stoic pride. Now there was just resignation and disappointment. Swallowing, Clint looked back down. Unable to keep eye contact. There was a little sigh before Coulson relented and said, “By the time I found out you were already out of contact and running with Captain Rogers.” 

Rubbing a hand over his mouth to stifle his instinctive reaction to yell that Coulson should have tried anyway, Clint turned his head away to stared out a window at the perfectly manicured lawn. It wasn’t Coulson’s job to make up for Clint’s shortcomings with his family; that Coulson had done so wasn’t something Clint should have ever learned to rely on. The silence drew out as Clint worked to calm down. Temper once more mostly controlled, Clint looked back at Coulson and demanded, voice acidic with contempt “Then why didn’t Stark say something?”

From the glint that Clint watched spark in Coulson’s eyes, he figured that Tony Stark might be one of those topics that Coulson wouldn’t tolerate disrespect over. There weren’t very many of them, but each was guarded viciously. He filed that tidbit away as a mental reminder. Clint wouldn’t apologize for his outburst though; the tone of voice aside, it was a valid question. Coulson must have thought so as well since the man explained, “You know, until 2008, the worst of the world that Tony Stark had seen were sleazy government officials who wanted what he wasn’t willing to give and college level drug dealers looking for quick cash from idiot rich kids. He was thirty-eight, and suddenly the nice safe little world he’d always been in control of was ripped out from under his feet. Most men and women from Stark’s background, when faced with the same situation, would have died in that cave or if they survived would have cracked completely. Would have become recluses and built panic rooms that rival nuclear silos. Tony Stark built a suit of armor, installed a fucking star in his chest and saved himself with scrap parts. Only to turn around and proceeded to learn how to be a hero. A man who had never once in his entire life been required to care about anyone but himself. Tell me, Clint, when did Tony Stark learn how to live in our world? To live in a world of spies and espionage?” 

Clint looked away first, again. He didn’t have an answer to that. Had the feeling that there wasn’t an answer at all. It didn’t stop him from considering the situation from the new angle though. Clint always overlooked the fact that Tony Stark had been a businessman, _the_ businessman, and just a civilian. Everyone had for some strange reason. Civilians didn’t get the kind of training SHIELD had given Clint, didn’t get the kinds of hard life lessons that living off the under belly of the world had taught him. In a lot of ways, Stark’s entire existence had been what Clint had always assumed the good life would be. Practically perfect and all of that. Money to spare and money to blow. No worry about the next meal or a warm, dry place to sleep. Everything and anything a person could want the moment it was wanted. Coulson’s question was more valid than Clint wanted to admit and it made him unwillingly impressed by Tony Stark once again. 

Clint’s expectation of Stark, to be able to handle situations the way he or Natasha would, was unreasonably harsh in hindsight. The thought made him pause as he wondered just what else he had assumed Stark would just deal with that the man hadn’t been equipped to handle. The list was probably longer than Clint would be comfortable with, especially since part of his job with SHIELD had been to train new agents on how to handle interrogation and torture. And not just that, it had been Tony Stark who had taken the time to help Clint put himself back together again after Loki. If anyone should have been on Stark’s side willing to cut the man some slack, it should have been Clint. Clint who was intimately familiar with being tortured and the nightmares that came part and parcel with it.

He should have known better. Should have remembered how fucked up your head got after someone tried every trick to get inside it. Then New York, and Ultron, and Clint stopped thinking back on the times that he should have been less of a douche. Instead, Clint’s brain brought up memories of Natasha had done her best to fill the gaps Clint and the others who should have _known_ had better left. And Clint would be the first to admit that Natasha and emotional reassurances didn’t belong in the same sentence. She was tough something that might be love if it wasn’t an emotion and hard, uncompromising lines in the sand. If you didn’t measure up, she stopped wasting her time. 

Except with Tony Stark. He could remember her returning, time after time, to badger Stark into doing something other than working. To go out with her and have some fun. Stark had always weaseled out it, but she’d kept trying. Occasionally with minor successes. It was more than he’d seen her do for anyone that wasn’t Coulson or himself.

A rustle of fabric announced Coulson getting up before a gentle hand squeezed his shoulder and sensible shoes walked away. It dawned on Clint then that no matter what he personally thought of Stark’s actions or lack of, Clint _owed_ the man more than he’d ever manage to repay. Which was the moment that whatever lingering anger at Stark not being able to keep him out of the RAFT turned into guilt. It only took him a moment to come to a decision and a week to talk Coulson into allowing it before Clint was on a plane headed to Malibu with the desperate need to thank Stark for doing his best. To acknowledge that the man was human and could only do so much.

The trip passed uneventfully. Then Clint was standing at Tony’s counter. Clint wasn’t sure when, but sometime between his conversation with Coulson and that moment Stark had become Tony once again. His hands toying with a mug of coffee and a desperate prayer he'd find the words to explain just how much he appreciated everything Tony had managed running through his head on repeat. Except Clint kept getting distracted by the well-worn jeans that fit the genius just right. 

The sight brought to light other memories where Clint had observed the genius in a similar state of undress. Memories of early mornings where nightmares had driven him from his bed seeking the light and warmth of the kitchen in the Tower. In his memories, Tony had worn a smirk, and a devil may care attitude like stylish accessories. In retrospect, Clint could see the expressions for what they were. A mask, hiding emotional and mental pain as great if not greater than Clint’s own. Pain that was willingly pushed aside so that the man could offer what support and comfort he knew how to give to Clint. 

There in the Malibu kitchen, the harsh southern California sunlight did little to ease the lines of chronic insomnia from Tony’s face. The lines of wear and stress that Clint could still clearly read in Tony’s expression. A man who was so tired and worn out that there were no longer limits to endure, just one more day. Guilt had settled firmly around Clint’s shoulders like a cloak as the realization that he’d only added to the weight Tony had carried for nearly a year. Their last conversation rose unbidden to remind him of the harsh words he’d said in the RAFT. His words hadn’t been fair, and after learning about Rhodes’ fate from the fall had been cruel as hell. Clint had broken the law, had knowingly broken the law, and reaped the consequences as a result. That had never been on Tony. 

At least he could do something about his part in the entire thing. He could thank the man for saving his family and apologize for being an ass. It wasn’t enough, would never be enough but it was a start. An effort in the right direction to at least getting back to being friends. So Clint went about explaining what happened since he had no idea if Tony was up to date on the status of things in the Compound. Explained things between him and Laura since his ex-wife had an obvious and clear soft spot for the genius. And while he was talking, Clint was treated to the sight of the tension in Tony’s shoulders easing. Not completely, but enough to know that the effort hadn’t been in vain.

Later, lying in the guest room that FRIDAY had directed him too, Clint had stared at the ceiling. Somewhere between darkening shadows and the gray of first light he had been struck with the thought that he was unattached and the desire he’d always held for Tony was no longer forbidden. Clint couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t thought Tony was attractive. The man had been on the cover of magazines since he turned twenty-one and took over Stark Industries. But somewhere along the line, the abstract attraction had given way to more complicated feelings of affection. 

Time living in the Tower had taken his aimless attraction and given it substance and reality. He could now wonder what it would be like to wake up next to the genius. To see that sleepy softness Clint was convinced existed before Tony put on his masks and suits. To be the one who witnessed the moments when that remarkable inner strength failed and be the one that Tony turned too. All because he had gotten a glimpse of the man behind the press-ready image. Had caught a glimpse of the utter adoration given to those few who made it into the inner circle. Had seen the careless consideration Tony gave to anyone he felt deserved a leg up.

Tony Stark had ceased to be abstract, and in response, Clint’s attraction had followed suit. 

Which didn’t mean that anything between them had been fixed in any way. One apology, sincere though it was, wouldn’t undo years of disregard or erase the more recent cruelty. Especially after Clint managed to open his mouth and idiocy was allowed to come trouncing out. Learning that Ross had directly threatened to use Clint’s children as test subjects for his super soldier serum to ensure Tony’s compliance had rocked his foundation. Clint didn’t know what he’d thought after the conversation with Coulson about the pictures, but that hadn’t even been on the list of possibilities. Nor had the thought that Tony had been threatened into his role in the Accords. It was shocking to think that Tony Stark had put his head down and signed the Accords without complaint to do his best to protect Clint’s kids. Just the thought of Ross getting his children had stopped Clint’s mind cold. Even breathing had been difficult for a long moment, and Coulson’s call couldn’t have come at a better time. Nor the obvious dismissal directed towards Clint.

It only took a moment to pull his clothes back on before Clint was almost running out of the mansion. He got as far as the front door before reality made him pause. Resting his head against the door, Clint debated with himself about walking out. Leaving Tony to whatever new life the man had built and keeping the bullshit of the Avengers away because Clint was an Avenger and he’d drag that shit around with him no matter how hard he tried not to. It was probably the right thing to do, but it was also the easy thing and if there was anything Clint did worse than reporting position changes in the field it was doing the easy thing. All his life he’d done things the hardest way possible. 

Looking over his shoulder towards the kitchen, Clint still hesitated. He was too far away to hear, but he could see Tony standing there, pressed and dressed in the gray suit with its purple tie looking like a supermodel ready for the runway. The animated look and happy babble that should have been in the image, that Clint had observed half a dozen times wasn’t present. Instead, there was the happy little smile that Clint had seen when Tony had been standing in the doorway to the kitchen watching. Suddenly Clint wanted that look in his life. Wanted to be the one who saw that look every day. 

So he’d turned and walked back to the kitchen. Once more apologized for his actions and offered the only olive branch he had available. Clint offered to keep in touch, to remain in contact with Tony and to his surprise that seemed to have been enough. Tony had accepted without hesitation and had given Clint that tiny please smile. Something that he wasn’t sure the genius had even known had happened. 

With that little success, Clint made his way to the airport making sure to keep Tony informed as he traveled. It was such a simple thing, but Clint was self-aware enough to know that Tony had trusted him the first time around and Clint had thrown it back in his face like it meant nothing. So, this time it would be on Clint’s shoulders to be the one who instigated the relationship, Clint who would have to prove he was reliable and trustworthy. It would be a never ending uphill battle, he was sure but worth it. Clint wouldn’t be able to hide behind his patented excuse of ‘that’s classified can’t tell you’ anymore. He’d have to open up about his past at the very least. And that wouldn’t be any fun at all. 

The intervening weeks had been a trial of patience and espionage. Listening to the anger and discontent of Scott and Sam had been difficult. They seemed to have found a shared passion for horrible humor and belittling Tony Stark in turns. Clint couldn’t do much more than settle back and watch in horror. It wasn’t his place to knock sense into them or get them to toe the line like good little Avengers. That was all on Steve. Steve who looked on with an indulgent smirk, like ragging on Tony Stark was a humorous pastime. As if it was the Avenger equivalent of watching shitty minor league baseball.

The scene was commonplace enough that it sparked indignation deep in Clint. Who were those idiots who knew nothing of Tony Stark except the media reported image the man showed the world? It wasn’t like they knew Tony. Not like Clint did at least. Not like Coulson or Natasha did either. And if there were ever a fact of life regarding Tony Stark and the Avengers it would be that Tony had loved being an Avenger. Loved the thrill, loved the adrenaline, loved being a hero. 

There weren’t many people who were bitten by the hero bug who could keep up with the likes of Steve Rogers. Even Clint who had a decade of keeping up with Natasha as practice had issues keeping up with Steve. But Tony had not only kept up but hadn’t back down from Steve either. Not on anything. So Clint knew, without a doubt, that whatever had happened to drive Tony away from the Avengers, to force the man into hiding on the other side of the country, it had to be something monumental. 

And Clint was going to find out what it was.

The apology letter projected in Tony’s previous workshop was uninformative, and Clint had scoffed at it the first time he’d read it. A lot of lovely words that held no substance. Even Clint could see that, for an apology, it was shit. The debrief of events that had led to everyone returning to the Compound had provided an inkling. Coulson had mentioned Siberia and informed everyone present that Zemo had been bluffing about activating the other Winter Soldiers. Sam had asked about what happened with Tony showing up, and the response had been a curt, clipped answer from Coulson about differences of opinions being settled with violence and everyone going their separate way. 

Laying on a rafter in the gym later, Clint had turned the statements and tone over carefully. Coulson never beat around the bush unless he had no other choice. The only conclusion Clint could come to was that the words hadn’t been Coulson’s and that the man hadn’t had any other option but to use them anyway. It felt like there was something missing which had led Clint to sneak into Coulson office. Once in Clint had found a video file on Coulson’s desktop that had changed everything. 

The video proof showing Howard and Maria Stark being murdered by the Winter Soldier. 

Clint had checked the encryption and had been shocked to find that it came from the SHIELD archives. Hydra had killed Tony’s parents. It didn’t make any sense, not even after Barnes had taken what appeared to be IV bags from the trunk of the car. There were any number of ways that Hydra could have gotten their hands on the bags. Clint, himself, had been one of those potential options. 

Playing through the video a second time with the sound off, Clint was forced to admit he was impressed with the quality of the video. Even in the dark, the camera had been placed just right to get an unimpeded picture of the murder of Howard and clearly identify Barnes. Security footage had come along way but even in the early 90’s video and audio would have been expensive. The quality was also a lot better than what Clint remembered being readily available then as well. Grainy and imprecise, easily fooled by even the unskilled idiot. 

Frowning, Clint reluctantly decided that whatever someone had wanted viewers to assume the camera wasn’t a traffic or security camera. That every stop had been pulled out to ensure that this Winter Soldier kill was recorded. Settling back in Coulson’s chair, Clint worried his lip as he thought it through. Why would someone put the time and effort into recording something like that? The answer was for insurance. That was easy. 

The hard part was finding out insurance against what or who? 

Absently as the video played again, Clint wondered if Tony knew about the video. Then it hit him, like lightning, that Coulson would only have left the video for Clint to find if it was part of a plan. Just like Coulson wouldn’t have let Clint out of the Compound, no matter what Clint had said or done, if it hadn’t been part of a plan. Clint ran his gaze over the rest of Coulson’s office. Looking for clues that wouldn’t be there. Coulson was far too careful to leave anything that would point towards a soft spot out in the open. The video playing again once more caught Clint’s attention and his mind made a mental leap that shouldn’t work. At the same time, it made a scary amount of sense. In Steve’s letter, on display in Tony’s workshop, because SHIELD techs couldn’t figure out how it was programmed to take it down, there was a line Steve had written. _I know I hurt you, Tony. I guess I thought by not telling you about your parents I was sparing you, but I can see now that I was really sparing myself, and I'm sorry._

Watching the video of Barnes killing Tony’s parents, Clint wondered if maybe this was what had sparked the violence Coulson had mentioned and not the Accords like he had assumed. After all, Tony had stepped down from the Avengers due to severe medical trauma. Trauma that had reportedly been caused in Siberia where Tony had fought with Steve. 

Blinking, Clint sat up straight. As horrifying as the thought was, it pulled all the puzzle pieces together neatly. It answered why Tony was all the way on the other side of the country when he had a perfectly habitable Tower in New York, why Coulson was so protective, why they were all confined to the Compound until they could display teamwork and comradery of all things, and why Tony had stepped down. Steve hiding the fact that Tony’s parents were murdered by the Winter Soldier and then the two getting into a fight about it explained so much. It even explained why Laura had been so furious. Laura had always been big on no man left behind. 

If the video that was yet again playing on Coulson’s computer had been revealed in Siberia and Steve hadn’t said anything about it. God, Clint could well imagine how that would have gone over. Especially after all of Steve’s rousing speeches about not keeping secrets from teammates. But Clint was forgetting. Steve wasn’t a monkey see, monkey do leader. Steve was a do as I say not as I do leader. Clint swore. He’d always hated handlers like that while working for SHIELD. How had he missed it with Steve? 

Pulling away from the Avengers was simple after that, not only did they not come looking for him but they didn’t even seem to miss him. Clint wasn’t surprised really. He’d always been quiet. Preferring to sit on the sidelines and watch rather than stand in the middle and participate. It didn’t help him to unravel the tangle of emotions and reactions he faced after putting together things. It didn’t help ease the guilt either. Guilt that had blossomed anew at just how spectacularly they had all let Tony down. Every single last one of them. 

Some family. 

Steve had been wrong. Dead wrong, nearly so Clint discovered after snooping through Coulson’s email. And that thought made Clint cold all over. Because shit, he hadn’t thought it could be worse. But Steve had apparently walked away in Siberia after beating Tony into submission and destroying an Iron Man suit. A family didn’t do that shit. Well, Clint’s family did, but he had it on good authority that it wasn’t supposed to work like that. The only ray of sunlight the situation had was that Tony hadn’t actually ended up alone. Clint wouldn’t really count Rhodes and a synthetic hominoid as comforting company though. 

The entire thing gave him a headache whenever Clint poked at it too long. It was enough to make him wish for the days when the rules were something he only considered in the capacity of how annoying they would be to get around. There had been very few moments when Clint had regretted giving up being a gun for hire. He didn’t miss the fear. The flinches and jittery, nervous demeanor when people found out Clint was _that_ Hawkeye. Didn’t miss that at all, but the freedom to do as he pleased and damn the consequences. Yeah, that he missed. The situation with Steve and the Avengers concerning Tony Stark? He’d take a lawless life on the run if it gave him the ability to go back and change the outcome of that situation. 

He’d say no to Steve for sure. Would probably have said no to Natasha when she called in the early morning hours to tell him about the Accords. He’d refused to sign. He was retired, a family man. What did the world care about him? Turns out the world cared a great deal when you tell them to go piss off because you weren’t in that life anymore then went and got involved anyway. 

Natasha’s second call in two days had pissed him off. It was hard enough to get enough sleep with a toddler in the house, let alone one who was teething. It was probably a good thing that she hadn’t let him get a word out. Her words had been rushed, almost slurred together in her hurry. He almost hadn’t caught what she’d been trying to say before the call disconnected. Something about Steve, and Barnes, and calling her as soon as Steve made contact. Telling him that things were bigger than just the two of them and that she was going to need his help. Clint liked to think that if he hadn’t been quite so sleep deprived that he would have been able to consider just how horrific a bad idea it was to play both sides of any game. They had tried that in Budapest and Natasha had nearly gotten beheaded as a consequence. 

Hindsight being twenty, twenty and all that Clint would have done things differently if he’d known Tony Stark was going to be the scapegoat when the dust settled. Sitting in an ocean of peril where one wrong move meant annihilation for every known superhero. He’d like to think that he would have called someone or told Natasha to stuff it on her plan. It had all gone to shit anyway. Scott and Sam could say whatever they liked. Clint knew how to look to see just how much work and danger Tony had been in while working to get things fixed. And unless Clint was missing something Tony hadn’t taken a single misstep after Siberia. It was as impressive as it was appalling. 

Especially after he learned that Natasha hadn’t stuck around. He had sightings of her in Washington D.C., Wakanda, Des Moines, New York twice in different locations, London, Kraljevo Serbia. Clint had confirmation that she’d been in Kosovo, but none of his contacts would confirm where or why she’d been in Kosovo. A local news article about the death of Alexei Shostakov in Bacıoğlu, Turkey, had Natasha’s fingerprints all over it. After that though, Clint hadn’t been able to find a trace of her until she’d arrived with them at the Compound. 

Clint had been under the impression that Natasha would be by Tony’s side through the entire thing. To find out otherwise had felt like a slap in the face. Clint thought he could understand, at least with the information he had available. Natasha was the spy’s spy. She had been trained from childhood to be anyone and anything required of her. Considering the people around her any anything more than a means to an end had been something she’d had to learn after throwing her lot in with his. Clint had thought she’d known that people weren’t expendable. But then again, he’d thought the same thing about Steve and Steve didn’t have a fucking excuse of being brainwashed and conditioned to the ideology from childhood to justify his actions. Everyone in the world knew how that situation had turned out. 

Running to ground wouldn’t have been Clint’s choice, but he’d always had too many principles, and it wasn’t like Natasha could have called him. Clint had been busy being pissed off in the RAFT. Which had left Tony to handle the fallout and clean up the mess. And there was the guilt again, his latest companion in the dark. 

A fortunate side effect of that guilt though was that Clint was hyper focused on repairing his friendship with Tony. If he could have nothing else, Clint was going to earn the right to spend the rest of his life making up for the shitty person he’d been to Tony before their little Civil War. Even when missions for Coulson started, Clint always remembered to send something. Even if it was only a security check-in like he’d send Coulson. Most often, Clint managed to send off long rambling emails providing details and amusing antecedents about life in the Compound. His latest had been an unusually long rant about how his children had taken to drawing on the walls of the Compound. Clint logically knew that their actions were in direct retaliation to being told that they weren’t permitted outside without a show of force going with them. Logic didn’t do much to ease the frustration and irritation of the situation though.

Clint had just hit send when the loud speakers announced the presence of the Avengers were being required in the living room. Being the last to arrive didn’t allow him to slip in without notice, but most of those assembled were busy loudly discussing the possibilities of why they were being called together. Clint stayed clear because the likelihood of their suggestions was pretty unlikely. Clint wouldn’t be the one to ruin the good mood though. He caught Laura ushering the kids out of the room. She didn’t look up and catch anyone’s eye as they made their way out. There was a pinched look on her face that didn’t ease until she met Coulson in the doorway. 

Clint watched as they had a little moment. It was bittersweet to see. He was glad she was moving on. Clint couldn’t, and wouldn’t besides, say anything if Coulson was the choice that Laura made. He might have married her initially, but he had also been directly responsible for allowing her and the children to be put in danger. Answering Steve’s call had been the worst choice he’d ever made, and it haunted him endlessly. 

Coulson would be a good choice though, Clint thought. He’d take care of Laura without having to sacrifice either work or family. Would work tirelessly to ensure Laura was happy even when work got in the way Coulson would be there to make things bearable. Whereas Clint was covert operation and would be until the day he died. It was hard enough to raise a family when things were normal, people failed at it every day. When he was honest about it, Clint was surprised they’d made it as long as they had. Clint sighed, Laura deserved a relationship she could trust and count on when things got rough. Clint had always been at his best when he wasn’t around and as long as he could still be a part of the kid’s lives Clint wouldn’t complain. 

And then the moment was over, and Coulson was once more exuding a presence that screamed quiet competence. One look and you knew that this was a man who was born to lead. Clint had always envied Coulson’s ability to effect control over anyone and anything. Even Tony had fallen into line when confronted with Coulson. Clint watched as one by one the Avengers stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to Coulson. Only when he had all of their attention did Coulson announce, “I regret to inform all of you that you will be required to remain within the communal areas or external training grounds for the next forty-eight hours.” 

The silence was allowed to reign for a long moment before several voices all tried to speak at once. Frowning, Clint leaned back against the wall he was positioned next to and tried to think through why Coulson would demand such a thing. With a sigh, Clint gave up and just crossed his arms over his chest. A smear of purple on his under arm caught his attention. Poking at it, Clint concluded that the bruise had to have been from his bow string just as Steve’s voice rose above the rest asking, “Why is this being implemented? What happened that security needs to be tightened?” 

Clint turned to regard Steve. The super soldier looked the same as always, neatly dressed in jeans and a button down shirt in blue plaid. There was a smear of charcoal on the back of his left hand and more along his hairline. An obvious clue as to what the soldier had been doing before being summoned. Smirking, Clint turned his attention back to Coulson. He wasn’t surprised to see a look of bland amusement plaster on Coulson’s face. Clint was surprised to see pinching around Coulson’s eyes though, almost as if there was some emotion that was being restrained. His smirk turned into a frown as Clint considered Coulson. He wasn’t sure there had ever been a time when Clint hadn’t seen Coulson as anything other than genuine. It was a strange concept to think that Coulson had learned how to hide something, let alone something he felt wouldn’t be received well by the Avengers. 

Coulson’s response was as level as always, “There is a consultant arriving tomorrow to negotiate repairs to the Compound servers. Due to several scheduling conflicts, an unexpected opening occurred. He has expressed concerns in dealing with the Avengers and in an effort to foster positive relations I have agreed that the Avengers as a whole will be kept secluded from his presence for the duration of the visit.” 

A glance out of the corner of his eye had Clint turning his head to look at Steve head on. There was a stubborn look to the super soldier before Steve asked, “Is this really the best time to be doing that? I mean, we are starting to gain some public opinion back, should we be interacting with everyone we can?” 

It was like a close tennis match as Clint’s head swiveled around to watch Coulson react. His former handler didn’t disappoint. The amused look because brittle as the man said, “Yes because the word the Avengers need to be distributed is that they are a bunch of schoolyard bullies who feel it's beneath them to honor a simple request. Perhaps you’re right Captain Rogers, but I personally would prefer to err on the side of caution. Now, I wasn’t asking your opinion on the matter. This is happening whether you want it or not. I fully expect you to follow my orders and respect the wishes of my consultant. That is it. Dismissed ladies and gentleman.”

Clint smirked as Coulson spun smartly on his heel and disappeared from the room. The disgruntled gripping started as soon as the door had fully closed. Rolling his eyes, Clint moved to slip out the same door Coulson had when a voice called his name. Turning, Clint sees Steve standing there looking at him with a hesitant but hopeful expression before asking, “Some of us were thinking about having a movie night. Interested?” 

For a moment Clint wants to just continue walking away. Movie nights had been something Tony had started. A way to bond without actually having to talk to the rest of the people on the team. Looking around at the expectant faces staring at him, Clint sighed. He’d never done well with peer pressure. With a shake of his head, Clint responded, “I’ll be there.” 

He got a bright sunny smile from Steve and a smaller though no less pleased smile from Wanda. If the road to hell was paved with good intentions, Clint was surely making his way now that things with the Avengers had been shot to shit and back. Except, Steve looked no older than Wanda when he smiled like that and Clint wondered for the first time since meeting the man just how old was Captain America. As Clint walked out of the living room, he did the math and realized that Steve couldn’t be much more than twenty-five. God help him, but Clint knew what it was like to be twenty-five and have your entire life spin out of control. To wake up one day and realize that every decision he had made had been the wrong one or worse. 

Rubbing his forehead, Clint let his feet led him where they willed. Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t realize he’d arrived at the rooms he’d briefly shared with Laura and the kids. Clint even knocked before his brain had engaged enough to remember that they weren’t actually on cordial speaking terms. He had just turned to walk away when Laura yanked open the door calling back into the room, “...and don’t forget to clean your room this time! I’ll know if you’ve just shoved everything under the bed again!” 

Clint tried not to smirk. It had to be Lila. That was his daughter alright. Messy unless given a reason to be otherwise. Clint felt the crooked grin slid off his face as he met Laura’s gaze. Awkwardly he gave a little wave, unsure of both his welcome and her temper. Laura, on the other hand, took one look at him, grab his tee shirt, yanked him into her room and installed him in the kitchen with a cup of tea. Once he was seated at the breakfast bar, and she was sure he wasn’t going anywhere he heard her move into the living area. The sounds of conversation drifted towards him, but it was quiet enough that he couldn’t make out any details. 

Instead, Clint took a sip of his tea and proceeded wrinkle his nose in disgust. He hated tea. Sparing a glance at the doorway to the living room he stood up from his stool and quietly hunted through the kitchen looking for any sort of sweetener he could get his hands on. 

Laura was watching him when he turned back around. Clint froze in the process of bringing the tea to his mouth to take a taste and suddenly feeling like he’d gotten caught sleeping with the lions again. Old George had always thrashed Clint when he found Clint there, but it was warmer than the bunkhouse, and no one would dare steal from him so he’d never stopped no matter how bad the beating. 

Laura’s smile broke the tension in the room as it grew until she was laughing at him. He watched her wipe tears from her eyes before leaning against the other end of the breakfast bar and remarking, “You never did like tea.” 

Smiling ruefully back as he once more took his seat and replied, “No, and I never could figure out what you saw in them either.” 

Her giggle was a soothing balm to his nerves. If she could laugh at him, there was hope they could at least repair their friendship. Repairing friendships seemed to be all he was doing these days besides showing up at nine am every single morning for team training exercises. Steve’s efforts to foster teamwork and comradery. It wasn’t working. 

There was a pang of disappointment as he watched Laura’s smile dim and her expression becoming fixed as she asked, “Why did you come here?”

Looking down, Clint slowed spun his mug in a circle thinking. He didn’t know how to explain things in a way that wouldn’t make her mad at him again. So before he could acknowledge that his next words were probably going to get him thrown out, Clint told her, “I didn’t know where else to go. Didn’t know who else to talk to. Whenever I had issues to work through, you and me would curl up on the couch and talk it out. I miss that, and I miss you.” 

He glanced up just as her eyebrow rose up in skepticism and Clint grimaced in response. That was fair. He tried to explain, “Yes, I miss you. But I’m not here to…” he waved his hand around trying to encompass their failed marriage, “woo you back or anything. You deserve better than I’ve put you through and you’re right. We haven’t been working since New York. Maybe if we’d had this conversation four years ago things would be different. But I’m not going to be that asshole who tries to force something broken to keep on ticking. You said you wanted out and I’m not going to fight you. That was our deal when I came clean to you about my past. And a promise is a promise. It’s always been your choice. My job is difficult, I’m difficult. It always surprised me when we came up to another anniversary, and things were still chugging along.” 

Her smile looked pained, but she just shook her head before asking, “So what happened? Why’d you come here today?” 

Running a hand through his hair, Clint sighed and explained what he’d found out. About the Accords, and Natasha, and Siberia. He tried to keep it as short as possible since one or all of his children could come barging into the kitchen without warning. Halfway through, Laura replaced his cup of tea with something else. Something he recognized as Coulson’s preference, which was still tea. He just gave the cup a dirty look for not being a decent cup of coffee and continued on. 

Laura wasn't smiling anymore when he finished, but instead of irritation, her frown was more of thought. She leaned further against the counter before asking, “Has anyone else reached out to apologize? I know the kids send him drawings from time to time. He always responds with a game or learning toy in response. The last set went out a few weeks ago, and his response came in a few days prior. A glowing sphere of something I couldn’t understand but Cooper seemed delighted with. How was he when you visited? Did you even notice?” 

Clint rolled his eyes and ignored her barb. Those little digs of hers were new towards him but he’d heard them for years when the neighbors would come asking advice about things Laura felt were a waste of time. Letting it go, Clint responded, “Thin, tired, over worked. About the usual. Maybe a little paler than I would have expected for living in Southern California but not bad. If anyone had thought of reaching out, I'd guarantee that Coulson had put a nix on it. The man is weirdly protective of Tony. And in this, I wouldn’t blame him. They all still worship Steve, and the only reason he had for his actions was ‘this is my Bucky.’”

He heard Laura snort in amusement as she stuck her head around the corner to check on the kids. Her question as she returned caught him off guard. 

“Do you want him to come back as Iron Man?”

Clint scowled at his tea before taking a deep breath and telling her, “No. Not since I learned it was the Avengers who hurt him the worst. He wouldn’t be able to trust a single one of us to watch his back in the field, and that would get real dangerous real quick. If he wants to and can work past the trust thing, I’ll welcome him with open arms. Hell, I’d like him to come around more even without stepping back up as Iron Man. But not at the expense of what little peace he’s managed to find after all the shit we put him through. That’s not fair to him.”

Laura’s smile was fond when Clint looked over at her. She shook her head and asked, “So what’s the hang up then? Seems like you’ve got that part pretty well worked out.” 

Clint shot her a sheepish look before he explained, “As funny as this is going to sound coming from best half of the Spy Twins, I’m having issues trusting. How can I trust that what I’m being told is the truth? How can I trust that I’m being given all the information I need to make an informed decision? How can I believe that if I turn around all my teammates will be standing approximately where they are supposed to be?”

He had caught her nod before she said, “Sounds like several issues than. I’m thinking with several people as well?”

Nodding, Clint agreed, “Yea. Steve, Tony and Phil, and Natasha.”

Laura nodded in response and chewed on her thumbnail for a moment before she asked, “Which is the most pressing?” 

Clint sat back and thought about it for a moment before he said, “Steve and how can I trust that what I’m told is the truth and the whole truth. I know why Phil withheld information. And that was my own fault. And I think I’ve reasoned out why I didn’t hear from Tony and while it pisses me off, I can understand where he was at too well to get angry with him. In between a rock and a hard place is never a good thing. I’ve also got to take half the blame on that one because out of everyone on the team I should have known something hinky was up when Tony Stark of all people started back Ross. That was something fishy from the outset, I mean Tony’s best friend in the world outside of Rhodes was Bruce. No way would Tony have backed the man who was single-handedly responsible for all the abuse Bruce has suffered since Harlem without a damn good reason.”

He caught another nod from her as he sipped his tea for something to do as she asked, “So why Steve? Why not Natasha?” 

Clint couldn’t help a grin as he explained, “Natasha has her own moral code, and she’s always going to be a bit flaky when it comes to putting up or shutting up. She’s damn good at what she does, but that doesn’t mean she’s got the skills needed to go toe to toe with people like Ross. Especially when she’s on the wrong end of things. Double crossing both sides of her teammates? Yea, I’d be tempted to run away too. The only difference is that I’d make sure to fulfill my obligations before dipping out. Where as far as I can tell, Natasha just disappeared. And I’m pissed at her don’t get me wrong, but Natasha and I have a long history. We’ll work this out in our own time, in our own way. Without talking to her I can only be mad about how things look, and in our line of work how things look and how they are aren’t always the same thing.” 

He watched Laura roll her eyes at him before she asked, “So why’s Steve got you all tangled up in knots?”

Clint set his mug down on the counter, mostly so he wouldn’t throw it in a fit of anger before he said, “Because he beat a teammate he called family until helpless and then walked away. Because he chose someone who can’t even remember him and didn’t want him involved over the people who have fought and bled beside him for the last six years. Because he used us, those who came when he called like pawns in a game and didn’t protect us from people like Ross. Yea, it might have been Steve who showed up to get us out of the RAFT, but there’s no way in hell Steve got the blueprints or hacked the security system. He’s a technophobe. Can barely use a laptop let alone his phone. It never would have happened.

“I can kinda get Siberia as well. I get that they were running high on emotion and adrenaline. I get that Steve and Barnes had just defended themselves from Tony Stark who had supposedly gone off the deep end. And God knows Tony’s got a dark enough streak in him to be lethal without remorse if he felt it was necessary. I get all that. 

“What I don’t get is why Steve kept the murder of Tony’s parents a secret. What I don’t get, and I’m shooting in the dark on this one but I know Tony and going off the deep end isn’t his style unless severely provoked, is why Steve tried to lie about it when the truth came out. I don’t know for sure. But I’d be willing to bet that the video I found on Coulson computer was there in the bunker in Siberia. And that Tony confronted Steve about it because Steve’s got _the_ worst poker face ever and instead of just coming clean Steve tried to lie. Because the only thing going through Steve’s mind was ‘This is my Bucky.' That apology letter in Tony’s old workshop supports that too. I’d also be willing to bet that instead of just keeping his head down and letting Steve and Tony hash things out, Barnes opened his mouth and added fuel to the fire by not denying his involvement.” 

A hand on his wrist brought Clint’s attention down to his tea. Fingers clenched white around the ceramic came into focus, he took a deep breath and slowly released the mug. It wouldn’t do to crack it. Looking up at Laura he noticed her worried look as she asked, “Is Tony okay?”

Shrugging Clint said, “It was almost a year ago. He’s okay as far as I know and as far as the extent of Tony’s injuries, he hasn’t confided in me about them. All we’ve been told was that Tony resigned due to severe physical trauma. But Coulson’s got an email on the server detailing Tony’s last medical evaluation, and it wasn’t good.”

She sighed and confessed, “We talked, on the phone mostly. A few times while you were gone or when he had received something from the kids and wanted to know the limits of my patience for gifts in response. Maybe a dozen times all total since Ultron. He’d called at one point and just sounded so down that I wouldn’t let him off the phone until he told me what the matter was. Apparently, he’d been working on some sort of memory modification contraption and was using the last time he’d seen his parents alive as a test memory. I don’t know what I said but all of a sudden Tony was confessing about how guilty he felt about arguing with them and how he wished he could go back and just tell them both that he loved them. That was just a few weeks before the Accords thing.” 

Clint closed his eyes and resisted the urge to bang his head on the table. Petite fingers had carded through his hair before Laura said quietly, “He hasn’t called since except for a brief message right before Phil showed up to extract us from the farm. Stated that he was trying to do his best, but the status quo had been upset when you left and no matter what he wasn’t going to let me and the kids get hurt in a pissing contest.” 

Clint rubbed his temple and tried not to get frustrated all over again at the situation. It was over, and there wasn’t any way that he could go back in time and change his choices. He felt Laura lean against his shoulder and wrap an arm around his shoulders; which of course was the exact moment when Coulson walked through the door. All three of them had frozen for a second before Laura was stalking towards Coulson. 

Clint leaned his head against his hand and took another drink of his tea; masking his look of displeasure. Just his luck. It was amusing to watch Coulson panic. Clint didn’t think he’d ever seen it happen before. There was a brief stab of regret when Laura pressed a kiss to Coulson's cheek but no jealousy or anger which was a bit of a surprise. He chalked it up to things really and truly being over between them as he watched Coulson square his shoulders, and straighten his tie before carefully greeting him with a neutral, “Barton.” 

Grinning, Clint raised his mug in a salute and responded, “Phil.” 

The thoughtful look he got from Coulson made his grin grow into an actual smile. Which only served to get him a suspicious look before Coulson asked, voice wary, “Why are you here?”

Clint couldn’t resist an such a perfect opening to screw with Coulson. Raising an eyebrow and smirking, Clint just stared in return. It only took a moment before Coulson was stuttering, “No. It's. I mean. I wasn’t expecting. Of course, you’re here. This is. And the kids and Laura. Shit. Just why?” 

Clint felt his lips twitch as he tried not to laugh. Taking pity on Coulson, and making a mental note to start referring to the man as Phil, Clint replied, “Drinking your tea apparently. But mostly looking for some perspective.” 

The relieved slump that washed through Coulson confused Clint. It was palpable as the man finished entering the kitchen and started to make his own cup of tea. Half way through the motions, Coulson (Phil, Clint reminded himself) turned and asked with a perplexed tone, “You hate tea?”

Clint snorted a laugh, and in a lofty tone he’d stolen directly from Thor said, “One does not scoff at the provided beverage when a guest in another’s home.” 

Out of the corner of his eye, Clint saw the exact moment where his words registered. The man turned sharply and stared at Clint for a long moment before asking, “So you know then?” 

Clint shrugged a shoulder and responded, “If I didn’t before a few minutes ago I would now. You out of everyone know that it’s always been Laura’s choice. Has been ever since I came clean on the details of my life before.”

Turning his head, Clint watched Phil deflate and run a hand through his hair, mussing the careful style before he said, “I was trying to keep it quiet. For the kids and you know, just in case. I’ve never seen you guys not work out your issues before so logically things should have gotten worked out this time as well.” 

Clint shrugged and said, “There were a lot of things that went into this. But I think a lot of it was also just that we’d both changed too much to meet on common ground. We needed different things from the relationship and couldn’t figure out how to meet in the middle. I still love her, I will always love Laura, and I’ll cheerfully kill people for my children and not bat an eye. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to ensure they were happy and safe. This mess has been building since Loki and everything with Steve was just the icing on the cake.” 

Clint looked back over to see Phil giving him a considering look like he’d just done something unexpected and pleasing. The moment had held for a breath before Phil asked, “So what brought you here today? And for the sake of my damaged heart, is this going to be a regular thing?” 

Chuckling, Clint replied, “Well, my kids are here so I’d appreciate it if I could be welcome. Outside of that, I was serious when I said perspective. Found the video you left on your desktop and it’s kind of screwed with my head.”

He got a hum in response as Phil pulled off his jacket and tie and tossed them over a spare chair. Phil wasn’t an assassin, wasn’t a spy either. But the man had survived an impressive military career with the Army, only parts of which Clint had been able to uncover. Phil was impressively competent with an economy of grace that belied his unassuming exterior. That Phil could take anything within reach and turn it into a weapon wasn’t a skill to sneeze.

Clint considered Phil as the man pulled things out of the fridge and cupboards. Shaking his head, Clint explained, “The actual issues are numerous and varied. Honestly, I’m hung up on Steve. I’m pretty sure I get Tony’s actions, and if it ever comes up in conversation again I’ll have a few choices words to say on it. And probably something that starts with promise me. As it stands any lingering malcontent, I might have had, claim to is outweighed by the fact that push came to shove and Tony did everything he could think of to keep my family safe. The balance of my ledger with him is in his favor, and I’m perfectly fine with keeping it that way.” 

There was a nod from the corner of his eye signaling that Phil was still listening, so Clint continued, “Natasha and her little disappearing act has me pissed off for reasons that I’m not sure are valid but are for her and me to work out when we’ve both cooled off. I can’t forgive how she left Tony defenseless at the mercy of Ross and his political wolves. It’s… That’s personal between us.” 

Shaking his head, Clint paused trying to tamper the emotional response back down. It wouldn’t do for the instructor of spies and the woman who had been married to him for the last decade and a half to know just how much he cared about the well-being of one Tony Stark. They knew him best after all. It wouldn’t do to give Laura any reasons to keep him from his kids. The past had left him wary of confiding the details of his bedroom partners to anyone. Even the people he trusted when he couldn’t trust himself. 

“You mean you’re cranky with her because she didn’t protect your man-crush?” Laura’s voice had his head snapping up and spinning towards her in shock and fear. Clint froze staring at her, pulse going a mile a minute as adrenaline prickled through his extremities. 

Clint watched her face morph from victorious teasing to shock as a tiny “Oh” slipped out. Her eyes darted over to Coulson for a moment before Laura was moving towards him cautiously. Every movement telegraphed openly. Clint would have snorted in contempt at her if he didn’t feel it was valid. As it was, he was more concerned with continuing to draw breaths while his mind ran in circles telling him how he wouldn’t be allowed to see his kids, be kicked out of the Avengers, and would lose everything that he held dear. 

A hand on his shoulder had Clint flinching and ducking his head to avoid a hit that didn’t come. The hand was followed by arms that wrapped around him before Laura breathed out, voice gentle as she said, “Oh Clint. I would never send you away for something like that. Neither of us would. I promise. Liking men doesn’t change a single thing. I’ve known you had a crush on Tony for almost two years. I thought it was just a bromance thing. You both are so similar in some ways. I figured it was just a love of making things go boom that drew you together. I didn’t realize I should have worried a little more about competition.”

Clint shook his head and explained, “I would never have cheated on you with anyone. Not even for a mission. I’d never disrespect my partner like that.”

He felt her sigh against the top of his head where her chin rested before she said, “I totally should have seen this. All the clues have been there from the beginning. How on earth did I miss that you were more flexible than just physically?” 

Clint giggled. It was a hysterical sound that he would never admit to making before he whispered, “Bisexuality wasn’t even a thing when I was growing up, at least not where I was. And the people who raised me weren’t what you would call open minded. It wasn’t until I was married to you and dancing to SHIELD’s tune that I learned there wasn’t anything wrong with me. And Coulson? I’ll deny it to my last breath, but those sensitivity seminars were the most useful torture I’d ever sat through.” 

Clint felt another hand on the shoulder that Laura wasn’t plastered over before Phil’s voice stated, “Well I’m glad some good came out of them; even if it wasn’t what I’d been hoping for at the time. I’m sorry you felt we couldn’t be trusted with this part of you.” 

Clint pulled in a deep shuddering breath and asked, “So you’re both ok with this? With the kids being exposed to that lifestyle?” 

Clint felt Laura kiss his head before she declared, “It’ll be good for them I think.” He felt her pause and braced himself for the 'but' that was sure to come. Laura stood up and ran a hand through his hair before she wondered, “Bet he’s as limber as you are in bed. That would be a sight to see. I’d pay to see that I think.” 

The world froze again as Clint tried to process that. His brain just didn’t want to acknowledge that there hadn’t been anything along the lines of but keep it behind closed doors. Hide. Clint was good at hiding, he’d been doing it his entire life. Fingers running through his hair brought him back to the present. Phil’s fingers Clint decided. The callus on the trigger finger gave it away. The offhanded comment (that Clint knew was anything but offhanded because he knew Coulson and Coulson never said anything but exactly what he meant) threw Clint for a loop as Phil said, “I have it on good authority that Tony Stark’s interests swing both ways.” 

Clint choked on his next breath. It was several minutes before he was able to wheeze out, “Are you attempting to explain to me that you’re both ok with this and encouraging me to pursue Tony Stark of all people? Me? Clint Barton? Street brat, circus brat, former assassin, SHIELD wet work specialist?”

The elated look on Laura’s face should probably have been concerning. Except all Clint could wrap his head around was that they hadn’t freaked out, Laura hadn’t told him he wasn’t allowed to see his kids, and Phil hadn’t threatened to kick him out of the Avengers and the Compound. Shuddering as memories of his teenage years came to mind, Clint asked, “Are you really okay with this? Tony’s not going to hide something like this, I don’t think he could if he tried. He’s kinda an all or nothing kind of guy, especially when it comes to the people he considers his.”

It felt like they were encouraging him, but Clint had never been encouraged in his entire life to love however he chooses. It was weird, strange, unprecedented. Clint sat there and struggled with a heady emotional cocktail of relief and amusement. 

“Yes, we are encouraging you. No, we don’t want you to hide any potential relationship you build. Yes, Laura is still going to insist you spend time with your kids. No, you’re not going to be struck from the Avengers or asked to leave the Compound. Yes, Tony’s welcome here.” Phil said. 

Clint would never figure out how Phil would always address every single last one of his concerns. Some of them without even knowing what they were. Clint would suspect a mutation except he’d read Phil’s file and the X-35b form was not included. Not even the X-35a form that Clint had signifying a superhuman ability that was _not_ an x-gene mutation. And it couldn’t be an X-35c because that form was created for Thor. Clint would have to look again, but he was pretty sure the enhanced human documentation hadn’t been there either. 

A kiss pressed to his cheek on one side, and another into his hair drew him back and preceded Phil saying, “Family has a way of surprising you in the strangest ways.” 

That sounded like there was a story behind it. Turning his head, Clint started to ask and was interrupted by Laura saying thoughtfully, “It will do them good I think. To learn that love comes in different shapes, sizes, and colors. That sometimes it grows and sometimes it changes. It’s all very adult and complicated but I’d rather deal with hard questions now and tolerance later than sweep it all under the rug and have assholes for adults.” 

Clint’s head snapped around so fast to look at her, he felt one of the vertebrae in his neck pop. He stared at her in complete amazement. Laura never failed to impress him, and her easy acceptance of his quirks always left him feeling flat-footed. Both of them really, when Clint thought about it. Phil had never been overly phased by any of Clint’s stunts. Some of which were Clint testing Phil, but most of which were Clint literally having been raised in a circus. His social skills hadn’t been the best when he’d joined SHIELD. There had been six handlers before Phil had taken over that had labeled him disruptive and uncontrollable. 

Laura leaning back against his shoulder and running her fingers through his hair like they'd done a thousand times forced some of the tension Clint had been carrying over the last year to release. It had been far too long since someone had touched him and for all that he could see better at a distance, Clint was a tactile person. Closing his eyes, Clint just sat there in Laura’s kitchen to the sounds of Phil cooking and soaked up the care and consideration. 

It was nearly fifteen minutes before Clint heard Phil call his name. He made a humming noise in response to show he was listening as Phil asked, “Two questions. First, what’s the issue you’re having with Steve that you wanted perspective on? And second, Are you staying for dinner?” 

Opening his eyes again, Clint tilted his head up to look at Laura who huffed at him and said, “It seems silly of me to keep staying angry when you’re trying. And I can see you’re trying. I might not be to the point of forgiveness, but I’m not going to lose my shit and go crazy on you again. At least not until you do something else that ridiculously idiotic.” 

Smirking, Clint nodded and said, “Yes on dinner, and I have no idea on Steve. I’ve never had to work with someone I can’t trust.” He caught the look Phil threw him over a shoulder and explained, “Not like this, Phil. It was different with Bobbi, and you know it.”

Clint saw the hesitation from Phil that lasted just long enough to be recognized before Clint got a nod of an agreement; conceding the point. Bobbi had been toxic for him from the moment he met her. She’d talked him into robbing banks with Barney, and they’d left him to take the fall when the authorities started closing in. It had been dangerous and lucrative while it lasted. Clint had been young and caught up in the sex and adrenaline. The only reason he hadn’t gotten caught was the idiocy of youth. He hadn’t made that mistake again and within the year had started taking on assassination jobs which in turn had eventually gotten him on SHIELD’s radar. Which had led to Coulson tracking him down and talking him into joining the right side of the law. 

Laura wandered over to the door into the living room to check on the kids again before she asked, “What kind of chance is there that a situation like this would ever come up again?”

Clint shrugged. Probabilities were Tony’s forte. But Phil grimaced and said, “Minimal. Statistically impossible. When you look at the math Stark finding out that his parents had been murdered by Hydra and the Winter Soldier should have taken an act of God. The video had been encrypted before being added to the SHIELD archives and encrypted again. I’ve run out of leads on how Zemo knew about the video to go looking for it. According to Rogers, he was given a tip off from a computer copy of Zola’s brain. That is something I wish hadn’t been blown up. I would have liked to learn how Zola had done it. I have impressed upon Captain Rogers that any further secrets kept from me will have dire consequences. I’ve got a sneaking feeling he didn’t believe me, but we’ll see.”

Clint rested his head on his hand again and asked, “What about the Winter Soldier?”

The only sound in the kitchen was the noise of something being sliced before Phil said, “King T’Challa has assured me that there is nothing short of an apocalypse that would cause an accidental release of Barnes. I’m all for leaving him to rot there until some later generation he hasn’t terrorize is in charge but in lieu of Roger’s latest hobby of adding all his little friends to the Avengers. Fit or not. I’m sure it will come to the point where the petition for Barnes to join the boy band will be made. It’s a moot point currently since no one is being allowed access to the man’s brain and research into getting Hydra out has come to a stand still.”

Clint chuckled and told Phil, “You’ve been talking too much with Tony, Phil. His particular brand of labeling is wearing off on you." 

From the other side of the kitchen, Laura tried to smother giggles behind her hand at Phil’s disgruntled look. A look that was followed by a knife being brandished in Clint’s direction before Phil told him, “Watch it, I’m feeding you.”

It startled a laugh out of Clint. The sound surprised him just as much as the other occupants of the kitchen. It had been so long since the last time Clint could remember laughing. Laura’s knowing look wasn’t comforting as she asked, “So it’s going to be a wait and see sort of thing? I’m not sure I like that, it seems...” She paused looking for the right word before finishing, “voilital.” 

Sighing, Clint said, “I’m going to movie night this evening. Even though being in the same room as Sam and Scott make me want to punch them in the face until they can’t make quips about how Tony failed the Avengers anymore. Somewhere along the line, they got the opinion that Tony betrayed the Avengers by siding with Ross and that it’s a good thing that he stepped down, so no one has to worry about being betrayed again. Both of them and Wanda have been particularly leery of bringing up any mention of that in my presence. Except they always seem to forget that I’m a spy among my other notable talents and you don’t turn that sort of conditioning on and off as it’s convenient. So I’ve heard anyway. And it pisses me off that no one is willing to look past the press image to see just how much work went into getting us home safe and not in handcuffs.”

Silence met his words before Phil gave a resigned sigh and said, “Children, the lot of them. Not a single one would make it through SHIELD training and Sam should know better. If this is their idea of camaraderie, we’re going to be in for a bumpy ride back to a functional team.” 

Laura’s fist hitting the counter had both Clint and Phil twisting abruptly to look at her. Sniffing she asked, “What is _wrong_ with them? What do they know about anything? I didn’t see a single one of them looking out for my kids when things went belly up. Where were they when their decisions caused me to be uprooted from my home with nothing more than what we could carry on short notice? I didn’t hear from a single one of them when we were hiding out in a safe house that was barely habitable. And so far the only apologies I’ve gotten are ones that I shouldn’t have been getting in the first place. Tony did nothing wrong, Phil did nothing wrong, and you Clint should have known better. Tony was amazing at making sure we were well provided for the moment he was released from the hospital and found out what happened to us. Why can’t they see how good a man he is?”

Clint was up and moving before he thought about it. Had Laura wrapped up in a hug before his brain caught up that he was overstepping boundaries that he really needed to respect and shooting a worried look at Phil as it all slammed into his head. Phil just shrugged and gave him a pained look. Clint sighed. This would take some work. Focusing instead on the more immediate problems of guilt, Clint said, “It’s not your fault, it’s not Phil’s fault. I don’t know why everyone else can’t see what we do and even I missed it in the past and needed to have my shortcomings pointed out.” 

Laura sniffed again before pulling away. Clint let her go without lingering. The same way he would on the rare occasions that Natasha wanted a hug. Standing like a loon in the middle of Laura’s kitchen, Clint watched as she walked over and situated herself under Phil’s arm and leaned against him. They looked good together, right. 

Clint walked back over to his chair but didn’t sit down just yet. He watched Phil squeezed Laura’s shoulders before saying, “We all made mistakes. Even I made mistakes. The best thing to do now is put it in the past and move forward.” 

Laura snorted and said, “Nope, I want my pound of flesh first. Apologies from every single one of them who put me out of my home and continue to cause my kids distress because they are no longer permitted to be kids due to security risks.” 

Clint grimaced and shared a look with Phil. The likelihood of that happening would take a miracle. Clint’s answer though was succinct when he explained, “It’s cause there’s nothing better to focus on. Training only takes up so much time, and it’s all that we’ve done for a goddamned year. All that’s left is politics and griping.” 

Phil’s voice was smug when the man said, “That will able be changing. I’ve managed to talk Stark into installing an AI to assist with keeping the Avengers in line and sorting through the UN support requests. He’s due in tomorrow morning to start the installation.”

Clint perked up at that and asked, unable to keep the hopeful note out of his voice, “Tony’ll be here tomorrow?”

Which earned him a watery chuckle from Laura as she teased, “Such a man-crush.”

Clint shot her a look before doing something he’d never have dreamed of doing before and corrected her by saying, “No, just such a crush. The only thing manly about it is that there are two men involved.” 

He’d never, ever before corrected anyone's assumption concerning his affections. Most people saw exactly what they wanted to see, a platonic relationship that was just a little too close for obvious comfort but which they also couldn’t take fault with because Clint so rarely lets his guard down for anyone to form an opinion other than aggressively heterosexual straight man. But this was Laura and Phil about Tony. He’d have to get over himself eventually, and they would be a safe starting point. 

He caught Laura rolling her eyes before she said, “Guess I’ll have to get used to that.” 

Clint shot a sympathetic smile her way before agreeing, “You and me both.”

The chuckle from Phil Clint heard as the man turned back to whatever he was making eased some of the lingering anxiety before Laura said, “Man, I’d like to be a fly on the wall when Rogers finds out.” 

Clint made a face but before he could refute her assessment of the situation Phil announced, “I’ll handle Captain Rogers when it gets to that point. I’d rather not see another medical report like the one the doctors sent me after Stark was retrieved from Siberia.” 

Clint nodded and changed the topic. He didn’t want to think about the mixed bag the Avengers would be when it came out that Clint and Tony were an item. 

“I’m going to go see what the hellions are up too. They are far too well behaved for my children.”

It got the desired results of a laugh out of Laura and a smirk out of Phil. In the living room, he found his children manipulating a giant, glowing, arc reactor blue ball with guilty faces. Smiling, Clint winked at them before tricking them into explaining what the toy was. Steve would probably have given Clint the 'Captain America is disappointed in you' face for interrogating his children. But in Clint’s experience they were just as unreasonable as any terrorist. A little mostly harmless payback was called for, and Laura had never seemed to mind.

They might be able to fool their mother who was proficient with electronics in the same way most of the adult population was but Clint could program. Not anywhere near Tony Stark but good enough to take down a helicarrier in mid-flight. Whatever DUM-E’s toy was, Clint would figure it out. 

~*~

The next morning Clint watched from the vents as Steve stalked Phil and Tony to the large conference room and then stood outside whispering with Sam about plausible reasons to interrupt the meeting. Clint nearly gave into the desire to bang his head on the bottom of the vent he was laying in. Why couldn’t Steve just listen for once in his life? 

When Steve let himself into the conference room, Clint took himself off. Snuck his kids out from under Laura’s nose with a note on her unused coffee pot so she wouldn’t worry and went to work on making up for lost time with them. They snuck into one of the explosive testing labs. He had stowed two liters of diet soda and mentos on the off chance that Laura wouldn’t pull his rights to visitation. They spent the remainder of the morning blowing up soda and laughing hysterically. 

Clint had just started to consider how he was going to return them to Laura without having to explain why they were sticky and covered in syrup when a little white robot flew into the room. The little thing was no more than two feet tall and reminded him of the Eve, from Wall-e. It took one look at him and spun around to the left. Suddenly he was faced with a small arsenal of ranged weaponry. 

Holding his hands up in a classic surrender position he shifted slightly to be in between the robot and his kids as he said, “Whoa, I’m not going to hurt you.”

The little thing had paused for a moment before an unmistakably feminine voice announced, “You are Father! I have been sent by the Creator to ensure the safety of the future. I am Opiekun, which means guardian!” 

Clint nodded, shocked, before he asked, “Why?”

The little robot dipped slightly before stating, “An imminent breach of the defenses. I am to keep the children safe at all costs.” 

Clint stared. 

Tony Stark hadn’t been in the building for six hours, and already things were going to hell. It could be a trick, Clint remembered Ultron all too well. But this little thing didn’t give him the same vibe as Ultron did. Opiekun didn’t come off as half finished and crazy. So Clint took a leap of faith and helped the little robot corral his children into the larger storage closet. Tony's track record with artificial intelligence was unquestionable. One rogue out of dozens was unheard of, Clint had looked into it. Once he was sure they were secure and unlikely to be found accidentally, Clint took off to retrieve his close quarter's arsenal. A bow and arrows wouldn’t be much use in hallways. But two sets of throwing darts, a set of semi-automatic pistols and a bowie knife would certainly allow him plenty of ways to be lethal. 

It had been weeks since he’d last walked around armed to the teeth. The Compound was a safe place to him, and it hadn’t even occurred that someone might attack it. The possibility of someone hurting his children while they were on the lawn had come to him and Phil both, which is why the kids weren’t allowed out on the lawn unsupervised anymore. But the idea that someone would come to the Compound with the notion to attack it seemed ridiculously insane.

His excessive amounts of free time and compulsive need to stick his nose into every crack and crevice had shown Clint that while the building looked normal, it was anything but. And that was just what Clint could discover. There were entire server stacks in the Compound which he hadn’t been able to garner access to the contents. Whatever took up that sort of processing power without an AI installed, Clint was wary of. 

The weapons felt surreal, the weight of them suddenly unfamiliar as he moved. Clint welcomed the feeling, but it wasn’t enough to alleviate the sudden and visceral knowledge that he was out of shape. Grimacing, Clint fell into the attack dodge block pattern as he came across a set of the intruders. Breathing heavily when the last one fell, Clint promised himself he would stop listening to Steve Rogers and actually get back into fighting form. There was no excuse for letting himself get sloppy. 

Rounding another corner, the intrusion alarm went off. It shut off immediately afterward. Pausing in the middle of a hallway, Clint looked up at the ceiling briefly before continuing down the hall. Clint ducked low when a voice he had never heard before announcing, “Avenger Compound occupants. I am pleased to inform you that conditions are all clear. Your patience is appreciated as the building comes out of lockdown.” 

His left eyebrow rose. Shaking his head, Clint continued towards the server farm. Because that was where his gut was telling him to check first. Just to make sure that Tony was alright. Two more corners, a set of stairs and a platoon of unconscious invaders later Clint was walking towards the frosted glass doors of the server farm. 

The doors parted automatically, and he got his first look at the devastation that Tony had wrought. Clint had always known Tony had little qualms killing when the situation called for it. But this was the first time Clint had been presented with the evidence first hand. He’d seen the picture of Gulmera after the first sighting of Iron Man. They’d asked him to give his opinion on the mental stability of whoever had organized the attack. He hadn’t said what they wanted to hear. 

In every direction, there were men in masks laying around Tony. Some were still breathing Clint noted, and several more gave an involuntary twitch from time to time. There were a couple more that were obviously dead, and Clint couldn’t find the energy to be upset about that. It was obvious that Tony was upset though since the genius was seated with his head between his knees taking the slow deep breaths of someone accustomed to panic attacks. 

There was blood on Tony’s knuckles Clint observed as he moved carefully over and knelt down. Clint reached out and gently wrapped his hand around Tony’s wrist. His touch apparently startled the genius as Tony’s head shot up. Clint met those honey depths and read the anguish and panic in them. Shifting so he could wrap his arms around Tony, Clint whispered, “You’re safe, the Compound is secure, and the children weren’t harmed. Everyone’s fine.”

For a moment Clint thought that he was going to get shoved as the shoulders under his arms bunched. Long-boned fingers flattened against his shirt before curling into it. That was when the shaking started. Clint just held on, it was just shock and adrenaline wearing off. It would pass. Clint curled closer and savored the feeling of getting everything he had dreamed of since Malibu. The delicate tableau couldn't last though, and the sound of running feet announced the presence of the rest of the Avengers. 

Clint shifted back when he felt Tony starting to pull away. Leaving his hands on the genius’s shoulders, Clint gave Tony a visual once over. And got to watch as the shields and armor of arrogance were put on with the same ease Clint would slip into a jacket. The smirk Clint got a moment later was all confidence, and it made something deep in his chest pang with pain. Smirking his own response, Clint moved away to start securing the intruders who weren’t dead and verify those that seemed dead were just as Steve walked through the server room doors. 

Clint managed not to snort at the sight and bit his tongue before he could ask if Steve had needed to directions to get to them. Tony didn’t need his help starting a fight with Steve Rogers, and it wouldn’t do to throw more fuel on that raging bonfire. They were supposed to be working together after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have a tumblr... [AjFessler](http://ajfessler.tumblr.com/) and I've started to post little writings that get stuck in my head and make it hard to work on whatever current project is my main goal. And by started I mean I've posted two in the last week and think it's kind of a great thing to do.
> 
> P.S. Revising this added an additional 5,768 words. You're welcome.


	5. Learning the Lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Opie's a BAMF, Clint's lost his patience( if you find it he'd like it back) and Phil tries to clear some water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some definitions for those not scientifically minded:  
> attoscale refers to atto in the metric system which is 0.000000000000000001 or one quintillionth trillionth. IE: Very, very, very small.  
> isothermal is a constant temperature output. 
> 
> Thank you all again for all your comments! I re-read them all the time, especially when my brain is stuck and needs a jump start. So thank you all you lovely people!
> 
> This ~*~ is a POV change.
> 
> This is still rated for swearing and there is a bunch of it here. Clint's also got a potty mouth, so there's that too.
> 
> REVISED 081420174

Slow breathe in, pause at the apex, release. Let the tension flow out with the bad air. 

It shouldn’t have been running through his mind at that moment. The calm before the storm. The brief pause before attackers barged through the doors he was standing in front of and threatened him with bodily harm. Or if they were smart, just shot him. But evil was rarely intelligent. Particularly where an asset like Tony Stark was involved. They all wanted what he could provide if persuaded but Tony Stark couldn’t be persuaded. And only a few had tried. The results should have warned the rest off, but still, they kept coming for him. 

The phrase though, from his personal trainer of all people, had served him well through stressful situations. He’d repeated it every time an idiot had opened their mouth while dealing with the Accords, repeated it every time he’d opened his mouth while dealing with the United Nations. Practiced the breathing patterns while learning to fight with a knife, because Tony might have given up the suits, but his life was still dangerous. Had been since he was a kid and there would be hell to pay if anyone tried to take him. Afghanistan wasn’t going to happen again, ever. Period. 

Spinning slowly, trying to come up with something else he could do rather than wait Tony kept breathing. Running through his arsenal as if the list were on a rolodex inside his brain; every time Tony came up a bit short. A bulletproof vest, the one he should have been wearing when hit with shrapnel. A Stark pistol, one that he’d modified to accept alternative ammunition of the non-lethal variety. Two magazines, both filled with his version of Clint’s EMP arrows. And the knife he’d learned so diligently to use. Permitting they didn’t shoot him anywhere that would impede his movements, Tony felt like he might get out of this alive without jeopardizing anyone else in a rescue attempt if he was taken. 

Tony had taken up the training after the Battle of New York. In secret because his chest had still been compromised by the arc reactor and it wouldn’t do to give the very masculine men on the Avengers any suggestion of a weakness. Past experiences had taught him better than any lesson his father had tried to impart that the world didn’t like men like him. Tony had been tiny compared to his peers all through his school career. Always years behind them in age. His formative teenage years had taken places while he’d been at MIT. Experimenting then had almost had final consequences when the wrong person had caught Tony with his tongue down a random guy's throat. If it hadn’t been for Rhodey. Tony didn’t even finish the thought.

A chime sounded softly through the server farm announcing the infiltrators had made it past the initial defenses and were being herded towards the server farm. Just the way it was supposed to work. The smile that stretched across his face was grim and held nothing remotely resembling humor in it. They always forgot, always underestimated him. Forgot that Stark Industries had been the number one weapons manufacturer until 2008. Bigger, better, more reliable. He’d been the best. Tony was still the best, his focus had just shifted away from things that would take lives into things that would save them. That was what he’d thought had been happening originally except he’d gone about it backward. You can’t protect people by having the bigger stick, no matter what his father and Roosevelt said. 

Instead, Tony had turned his focus to defense. Especially in his living quarters. Both the New York Tower and the Avengers Compound were innovative works of art in defensive capabilities. The Compound especially. The remote location had afforded him the opportunity to install whatever measures he wanted in complete secrecy. Something that hadn’t happened in New York. The Iron Legion had even ensured that Tony could do everything he wanted and needed without an audience. It was his crowning jewel. 

Floors, walls, ceilings. Everything had gotten a touch of his paranoia. In the floors he’d installed individually wired electrical panels embedded in the tile flooring. They could all be activated singularly or in parallel to maximize effectiveness in taking down intruders. He’d taken the idea from heated floors and alternated the effect until the tile acted like a taser. It was highly effective. Tony had next turned his attention to the windows. He’d gotten more of his clear adamantium and had tempered them to withstand anything that a super soldier could throw at them. Tony almost felt bad because he’d installed impact measuring devices in the punching bags he’d given Steve to destroy. The data had been invaluable. Both in the designs of the Compound and the consultation that the DoD had requested regarding their building plans for the RAFT. 

In the ceiling, looking like a decorative whim because it was nearly everywhere were his standard AI sensor strips. In the Tower, they had been colored to match the walls. Hiding them from curious eyes. In the Compound, Tony had made them black which contrasted nicely to the white, cream or gray walls. Those strips provided any installed AI with their eyes and ears. The only rooms excluded were the high explosive testing labs. The ones where Tony could set off the next atom bomb and be assured that the building would still be standing afterward. For some reason, the percussive forces kept cracking the adamantium and Tony was working on dealing with that. Slowly because he hadn’t thought it needed to be a priority on his to-do list. 

Directly beneath those, disguised to look exactly the same as the AI sensors were sonic emitters. Tuned to a frequency that could liquify a human brain in less than a minute. Only an installed AI could activate those and only an AI that held a particular line of code in its system. To ensure the safety of whoever was living under the thumb of one of his AI’s, Tony coded in a virus to Yinsen. If the AI were compromised in anyway the virus would run and corrupt all the command lines which gave the AI access to the Compounds defenses. Eventually, if left to run long enough the virus would corrupt the entire AI program rendering it useless. Effectively dead in the system. Tony had made a mistake with Ultron, and wouldn’t be repeating it anytime soon. Never, if Tony had anything to say about it.

Beyond that, there were spy thriller weapons hidden everywhere that there was the space for them. Machine guns in the ceiling, rail guns on the roof, tasers in door knobs. Tony had spent weeks inventing for the defenses of the Compound. Which didn’t take into account the weeks he’d spent training Yinsen to handle those defenses. Part of the protocols Yinsen followed had been an early morning stroke of accidental genius. They’d been running simulations and Tony had given the wrong command. He’d let the attackers into the Compound and let it play out to see what Yinsen would do to try and salvage the situation. To Tony’s surprise, Yinsen had managed to secure the building in less than thirty minutes, had viable prisoners and hadn’t resorted to deploying the Avengers. 

He’d thought it a fluke, a trick of the program. But no matter how Tony changed the parameters the results remained the same. Permitting the attackers inside the building allowed for a safer and faster conclusion to the simulation. It still blew his mind that letting an AI loose with the internal defensive measures ended up more efficient than the Avengers. 

Another chime sounding drew his attention to the doors. The attackers had arrived at the server farm. His left hand started tingling as adrenaline surged and his blood pressure spiked. His cardiologist had warned him about this and specifically advised avoiding stressful situations. He’d never listened to them before and wasn’t about to start when he had baby AI’s newly installed and vulnerable to protect. Shaking his hand, Tony took a deep breath trying to prepare for a fight outside of his suit. It would be his first that actually counted. Watching the shadows hooking something up to the superfluous access pad for the server farm, Tony waited. Yinsen would open the doors after a minute and thirty-second delay. Long enough for the attackers to think they had hacked the system and gotten the override codes. It was all smoke and mirrors to allow an upload of tracking software on the off chance the attackers got back out of the Compound. 

The men stormed into the room, and Tony stood there, following them. Not raising the gun. He wouldn’t hurt them if he could get away with it. They formed a half circle around him. Running a critical eye over the assembled group Tony took note that they were outfitted in the standard SHIELD strike team gear. Gear which hadn’t been issued since 2014 when Steve fucking Rogers had all but destroyed the agency. The sight was intimidating, and once upon a time would have made Tony leery of them. Except that had been before he’d gone looking for truths on the Amazing Hawkeye and the Black Widow. Before he’d learned what a disciplined team actually moved like, and before he’d learned how to fight himself. All of that collided to give him the confidence to stand in the middle of the room, making himself a target as rifles pointed at him, and smirk at their ignorance. 

One man took a step forward and spat something out in Russian. It was easy enough for Tony to feign incomprehension. Russian wasn’t his strongest language to start with and if it didn’t involve seduction his skills floundered. He’d just wait until they tried a language he could readily understand. There were plenty of them rattling around in his head. 

It only took three tries before the man growled out in broken English, “Give over computer. Big brain program.” 

A sigh escaped him before Tony could think better of it. He was the premier name in AI tech for those in the know. It wasn’t a stretch to believe they’d been waiting for him to return to the Compound where the remote location would give them some semblance of security. Which it distinctly didn’t. Tony was safer in the Compound, even with the Avengers in residence, than he was anywhere else. It was much easier to catch him unaware on the streets of New York or when he made it into LA for Stark Industries business. It was also a possibility that someone had gotten their hands on the intelligence that Tony was here to install an AI. But that was less likely than the idea that they were there to kidnap him or decided to use his arrival to try and steal what they wanted. Personally, Tony was going for the second option. It wasn’t the first time someone had tried to filch one of his AI’s after all. Though, it was the first time that they had tried to take one by using a show of force. 

Tony shook his head negatively and slowly enunciated, he didn’t want them to misunderstand, “No.”

There was a crackle of electricity as a warning before Yinsen took matters into his own hands. Metaphorically of course. Tony ducked and rolled towards an open spot in the room out of the middle of that deadly pow-wow and came up shooting taking measured slow steps until he was behind one of the remaining server stacks. He wasn’t worried. Four shots and four fewer targets now sprawled out twitching on the floor. His eyes darted left and right looking for the next target. 

One of the henchmen charged at him from the side. Tony didn’t get the gun up and pointed in the right direction in time. They went down in a tangle of limbs. Grappling without grace. Tony doing his best to get an elbow to the masked man’s nose, neck or sternum. They rolled again, and Tony managed to get a knee to a kidney and a hand to his knife. The attacker collapsed on top of Tony, blood frothing from lips as the man exhaled his last breath. 

Squirming out from under the weight, Tony scrambled back up looking around for his gun. Reaching out to snag it and spinning to take in the rest of the room Tony came up on one knee only to find that the remainder of the attackers had been neutralized by Yinsen. 

Relief coursed through Tony when he realized that he was safe and the Compound once more secured. Hard learned lessons taught early was the only thing that ensured his gun stayed in his hand despite the loose, kitten weak feeling in all his limbs. Staggering to his feet, Tony made it four steps before his head started spinning and spots danced in his vision. He barely felt it as his knees collapsed forcing him to sit down right in the middle of the room, surrounded by dead and partially dead attackers. 

Gun still in his hand, Tony pressed his face into his knees and tried to calm his breathing down. Short panting gasps couldn’t be good for his still fragile rib cage and perpetually damaged lungs. Holding his breath for a second to stop the cycle Tony forced himself to take a slow, full breath before letting it out in time to his heart beat. Letting the steady _thump thump_ lull him further into a state of calm. An absent thought that Bruce would be so proud of him trickled through as he continued to focus only on one breath at a time. 

He’d almost managed to get himself back under control when the doors to the server room opened. Tony had known his peace couldn’t last forever, of course it couldn’t. So, Tony forced himself to raise his head. To verify that it was someone friendly instead of a missed attacker. To his surprise, standing there in the doorway was Clint. A cold, hard light in the archer’s eyes that Tony had never seen before sparkled there accenting the hard lines of the man’s face. This was the killer that Tony had read about, this was the violent sociopath that SHIELD had worked so hard to recruit. 

Except those eyes immediately softened as they looked Tony over. Suddenly Tony was wrapped in strong arms that exuded warmth. He hadn’t realized he was shaking until Clint was there whispering useless platitudes into his hair and holding on tight. With the hand not still holding his gun, Tony reached out and tangled his fingers in the familiar silky texture of the under armour he’d designed specifically for Clint to counteract the chafing that happened with the protective gear from SHIELD. It was telling to Tony that Clint was wearing it rather than the redesigned uniform that had been made when Clint had thrown his lot in with the Avengers after SHIELD’s fall. Tony had made damned sure that uniform hadn’t chaffed. 

Dragging his wandering thoughts back on track, Tony shifted his head until his forehead rested against Clint’s shoulder. The archer moving with him to accommodate the change. The last vestige of his panic died down, secure in the knowledge that Clint thought he was safe and promised that the Compound was safe and no one that mattered was hurt. The feeling of being held and protected was nice, thoughts of being comforted and cherished swirled through his mind in the same moment that the sound of running feet met his ears. 

With a sigh of regret, Tony pulled back and pulled up his masks. Forcing a smirk across his face, Tony looked Clint over. No injuries and no signs of impatiences or unease at seeing Tony’s momentary weakness. Instead, Tony got the same once over he was giving and a smirk in return. If there was a touch or resignation and sadness there, Tony told himself that he was just imagining it and to move on. He wasn’t quite sure he was ready to try his feet again, but that didn’t matter because Clint moved away to start securing the attackers with what seemed like an endless supply of black zip ties just as Steve fucking Rogers almost face planted into the doors because Yinsen hesitated in opening them. 

Internally, Tony cackled at how his own anxieties and paranoia where the super soldier was concerned had been picked up by his AI. The sight of Phil only steps behind Steve eased the little knot of anxiety that had started to build at Steve’s entrance. The super soldiers double take when he encountered the room would have been comical if Phil hadn’t taken steps around the man to offer Tony his hand. Accepting the offer of assistance off the floor, Tony placed his hand in Phil’s and was momentarily surprised by both the firm grip and Phil’s ability to yank him up off the floor with almost no input from Tony himself. 

Tony was treated to another piercing once over before Steve had even thought to ask, “Everything alright in here?” 

Before Tony could respond, he got a rare treat as Phil rolled his eyes at the soldier and remarked, “It would appear that the situation has been well handled. With prisoners. Well done, Dr. Stark.” 

Tony only smirked and nodded at the praise. He’d have Yinsen replay the security footage later and get all emotional about it then. So few people gave him positive feedback. Instead, Tony stuffed his hands in his slacks, they were crumpled and ruined by blood so a few more wrinkles wouldn’t matter as he turned his attention to where Clint had stopped moving. Turning, Tony found the archer frowning at the server stacks. Tony watched as Clint looked over his shoulder. Seeing he had Tony’s attention the man asked, “Where are the rest of them? Damn near half of the servers sets are missing.” 

The grin that Tony felt suffusing his face couldn’t be stopped before he explained, voice filled with smug pride, “In their custom safes, two stories under your feet and protected by enough explosives to level the Compound.” 

The eyebrows raised in shock were gratifying as was the expression of impress that Tony caught before it was once more locked behind a mask of indifference. Tony had never noticed just how little expression the archer let the rest of the team see. Not until it was glaringly obvious. The small thrill of pleasure the knowledge that Tony was trusted when Steve wasn’t tingled down his spine. It prompted Tony to expand his explanation, “Those particular servers are the containers of any encrypted data that’s received by the Compound, also hold every speck of personal data that I’ve ever managed to dig up on any Avenger current or future, and houses the Compound Artificial Intelligence when install.” 

There was a thoughtful look that broke through Clint’s mask for a moment before Phil interrupted saying, “I need everyone to proceed to the conference room. This needs to be debriefed as soon as possible.” 

Tony didn’t even sigh in resignation. He did roll his eyes though. This was bound to put him further behind schedule and Tony was determined to leave as soon as feasible. Before they had even made it to the door, Clint spoke up saying, “Coulson, I need to see to them and let them know that everything's okay.” 

Phil didn’t even blink, Tony noticed before the man was adjusting his plans and responding, “We will accompany you Hawkeye. I’m sure Dr. Stark will be required for an override.”

Tony almost opened his mouth to object. To say that Phil and Clint were both listed as safe personnel and really that any Avenger should be able to give the all clear. Opie had some control over her safe list, but there were a few names that she wasn’t permitted to remove and had been coded to be incapable of it. Tony was one, so were Phil, Clint, and Laura because Tony was nothing if not genuinely afraid of another Ultron especially when considering that Opie was designed to protect children. Any child within the range of her sensors. The scowl on Steve fucking Rogers face was the only thing that stopped Tony as the super soldier stepped into his peripheral vision. Snapping his teeth closed and giving one of his bright press smiles, Tony just shrugged and said, “Lead on Agent man.” 

It didn’t take them long to make the trek to the explosive testing lab that should have been off limits to anyone who wasn’t Tony Stark. All he could do when they stepped through the doors was grin though. Leave it to Clint to figure out how to get around biometric programming just to blow up diet soda with his kids.

The sticky brown mess smelled sweet with a hint of mint and Tony hung back to let father reunite with children more privately. Examining the splatter patterns, Tony absent-mindedly calculated the height of each soda geyser based solely on the mess. It was an entertaining challenge as several explosions seemed to have overlapped making it harder to determine which set of spatters went with which discharge. 

The sound of Opie spinning and her arsenal coming out snapped his attention back into the room and away from the math just in time to watch Steve fucking Rogers reach out to forcefully try and move Opie away from the kids only to promptly get shot with two EMP rounds from the little robot. Steve fucking Rogers dropped like a felled tree and laid there twitching in the aftermath. Two sets of eyes turned on him as a small squeaking noise of amusement escaped him. Both sets were glittering with amusement as Phil asked, “Not an authorized personnel?

Standing slowly and moving towards them, Tony shook his head before he could say anything though, Opie piped up in her unique voice declaring, “Protocol indicates only programmed safe personnel may contact. Fair warning was given and ignored. Captain America is known to willfully ignore the safety of bystanders in the pursuit of his goals. Opiekun is the guardian of the future. These facts cannot be overlooked. Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America, has been revoked as a safe personnel until such time as appropriate displays of awareness towards bystanders or Parental units Mother and Father indicate otherwise. The safety of the future must always come before the potential wounded pride of adults.”

Tony could only look at his new baby girl in awe before he said, “Well, there you have it gentleman.” 

Looking at the other two men with him he caught the look Phil was giving Opie and quickly hurried to explain before the Director decided she was another, more subtle murder bot out to subvert the children in an effort to overthrow the planet. 

“She’s only reasonably autonomous, and there are fail safes install to ensure she doesn’t try for global domination. Every round fired sends a report to the Director of SHIELD’s desk for review, and both Friday and Yinsen have master overrides in case she gets hacked or goes off the reservation. Her primary directive is to protect the children. Any child within her sensor ranges. She’ll only engage when she feels there is a direct threat to her charges when the protection program is activated. Otherwise, she’ll hide right alongside the kids and send out emergency distress signals. 

While she can add and remove people from her safe list as she deems fit based on their observable actions there are exceptions in the form of myself, Clint and Laura and you, Phil as the Director of SHIELD.” 

He watched Clint reach out and squeeze his arm briefly before the archer said, tone amused and affectionate all at once, “I wasn’t worried Tony. You created her. I’m sure she’s a peach, and I’m looking forward to getting to know her. I could already tell she wasn’t anything like Ultron. I wouldn’t have left my kids with her if I thought you’d made that mistake again.”

Tony nodded back, to stunned to form words. That was better than he’d hoped for really. He’d hoped that the kids would fall in love with Opie and would badger Clint and Laura around into keeping her. Never in a million years had he thought that Clint would be the one to accept the little thing and reassure Tony that the robot was welcome and trusted. Shooting a glance as Phil while the man bent down to double check Steve, Tony only got a raised eyebrow before Phil was distracted. 

Ignoring Steve, and his admittedly irrational desire to kick the super soldier while he was down, Tony watched as Clint held out a hand to Opie. The strange little robot whirled her arsenal away before cuddling up to Clint and making him laugh. The Barton smaller agents tumbled out of hiding a moment later and were hugged just as close as the robot. All them receiving quiet praise for their bravery. 

An ache started in his chest forcing Tony to turn away. How different would he have been if Howard and his mother had been anything at all like Laura and Clint Barton. Pushing the thought from his mind, Tony tried to turn his attention back to the splatters. Away from his damaged heart that sought to turn the earlier hug from Clint into something more. Into something that was dangerously like affection and hope. Tony knew better than to travel down that road again. Hope only lead to heartbreak. He’d done that song and dance with Pepper and look where it had gotten them. Opposite sides of the country more often than not and rarely speaking only when necessary for Stark Industries. Things were better, but not like they had been before. 

Firmly turning his thoughts away from the loving scene that held no place for him and ignoring the burning sensation in his eyes Tony reminded himself that Opie had been sent to a whole family. One that had no place or need for a mess like Tony Stark. No one needed a mess like Tony Stark. He just needed them to make himself less of a mess. 

A groan from Steve was a suitable enough distraction from his ever spiralling despairing thoughts. It allowed him to push away the ache of wanting what he couldn’t have, of loving something that he would only destroy if brought any closer to his heart. Kneeling down to look closer at a splatter pattern Tony overheard Steve ask, “What were those things it hit me with?” 

The corner of Tony’s mouth twitched upwards in satisfaction as he watched Phil help Steve fucking Rogers to his feet out of the corner of one eye. Twisting slightly, Tony said, “Electromagnetic Pulse rounds. Precisely calibrated for an output which will knock even a super soldier on their ass. Feel lucky, she could have broken out the Night Night darts, which will stop the Hulk and come with one hell of a hangover.”

He got a dirty look from Steve fucking Rogers before the super soldier retorted, thoroughly disgruntled, “And I suppose that’s another Stark innovated weapon to grace the world?” 

When Clint had obliquely referred to Ultron Tony had just let it pass. After all it was his biggest mistake to date and the one that had done the most damage. He wasn’t about to take any credit for the mess of the Civil War. Not when he’d paid his penance by getting the Accords fixed and the Avengers returned to civil servant status instead of international terrorists. That was his story, and no one could change his mind. 

Steve making the same reference, on the other hand, was a fan to the smoldering embers that remained from the rage kindled in Siberia. A slow, sharp smile graced his features as Tony stood up and explained, “No, Stark Industries doesn’t make weapons anymore. That would be a Barton invention. There’s a patent pending and everything. I just tweaked it a bit for effect. It wouldn’t do for a Winter Soldier to harm the kiddies because no one’s got anything that will take one down safely after all.” 

Turning, Tony squared off with Steve as an angry blush colored Steve’s fair complexion. He wasn’t about to let fear or the super soldier intimidate him. Tony stayed out of the Compound because he _knew_ his presence wasn’t wanted and refused to give Steve another chance to finish what he’d started. Tony hadn’t had a death wish since New York when he’d realized that, yes, Tony Stark was capable of being a hero. 

A stifled giggle, high in pitch broke the moment before Lila asked in a stage-whisper, “Are they gonna kiss like you and Mommy, Dad?” 

Swallowing down his anger and not waiting to hear what Clint might say to take, Tony asked, “Conference room? Debrief? I’d like to get that over with as I’ve got a massive amount of data to debug and it’s calling me seductively with sweet nothings.”

Phil just nodded, looking between him and Steve warily, before leading the way. 

Sitting down in the conference room, Tony was greeted with a gamut of looks from his former teammates. Everything from guardedly hopeful to confused and even several vaguely hostile looks from Scott and Sam. Tony had no idea what he’d done to earn that animosity. Pulling out his phone he made a note for Friday to look through his records and see if there was something in the archives that Tony was forgetting. But otherwise, Tony had no idea and therefore didn’t have the first clue on how to soothe those ruffled feathers. 

Note finished, Tony busied himself with looking through and answering, his email. Expressly those from Pepper and Raj. Even a couple from Cadyn, his personal assistant. The adrenaline and shock were finally hitting him though and the standard unaffected Tony Stark mask he would ordinarily play just seemed like too much work. There was no one waiting to sell pictures of him to the media so for once he just let it drop. Sat quietly, while waiting on Phil to get the party started. Remotely, Tony started Yinsen running several self-diagnostic checks to at least get started on figuring out where to beginning ironing out any issues Yinsen might be experiencing. 

Slowly, conversations resumed around him, only pausing briefly as the door opened to admit Clint. Clint who promptly confused the entire table by sitting down next to Tony rather than the seat Natasha had obviously saved for the archer.

Shooting a glance at the man out of the corner of his eye Tony wondered what was going on. As far as he knew this wasn’t normal Clint Barton behavior. First, the emails. Conversations where they actually talked about their choices and worked out their issues. That showed up in his inbox every single day without fail even when Tony hadn’t managed to respond the day before or even for several days. Second, trusting his little bot. Clint even saying that he’d trusted it because it was Tony’s creation. Settling back in his chair, Tony took a deep breath, returned to his emails and resolved to sort it out later. When he wasn’t sitting in the lion's den. 

The hum of conversation returned for a few moments before Wilson’s voice rose above the din asking, “Hey Stark, how are those knee pads holding up for you?” 

Lang followed immediately afterwards without letting Tony even acknowledge Wilson. “No man, he’s just wrestling with his delusions of adequacy.”

Looking over at them, Tony wondered whether it was even worth it to say anything in return. He was hated enough without even attempting to defend himself. It wasn’t like they had listened the first half a dozen times they’d been told Tony hadn’t been any more in Ross’s pocket than any other Avenger. Shifting to go to bat for himself yet again against the Avengers, Tony took a breath just as a fist his the conference room table. 

Jerking back in surprise, Tony spun to find Clint standing on his other side and unmistakably furious. Clint’s voice wasn’t particularly loud as he remarked, “Jesus, enough is fucking enough. Goddamned.” 

Tony just blinked as the entire room went silent. Watched as Clint’s eyes roamed around the room before he said, “This shit has got to stop. Tony Stark isn’t even an Avenger anymore, and you still can’t leave him the fuck alone. Each and every last one of you made mistakes and fucked shit up in our little _tete-a-tete_. Each and every last one of you owes Tony Stark for at least part of your gear. And this is how we treat him? We all fucked up, and it’s not being held against us now is it? No, thanks to Tony Stark.” 

In the pause, while Clint took a breath, Steve tried, “Clint…”

And was promptly cut off by the archer as Clint shook his head and snarled, “No Steve, no. You’ve had almost an entire year to address this, this _insubordination_. Since you haven’t I can only assume you’re in line waiting for your moment to say your piece. Well, fuck _you_. It’s got to stop. We all know that Tony Stark did the best he could while under sanctioned governmental surveillance imposed by Ross and insured with my children. _My children_ Steve. Yet, how many peaceful resolutions did he offer up? How many times was Tony Stark standing there offering to make it all go away? What’d you give him in return Steve? Did you listen to him at all before you blew him off as a sensationalist? What the hell did the rest of us give him? Nothing. We gave him _fucking nothing_ in return. In fact, I’m pretty sure we gave him less than nothing as it was _our_ fearless leader who offered the final nail in the coffin holding Iron Man to the Avengers.”

No one said anything for a long moment as Tony looked around the room. Beside him, Clint returned to his chair. Slouching down in a way that challenged everyone to try him. It didn’t take long for Wilson to speak up though, and Tony had expected a defense of Steve fucking Rogers but still hearing Wilson dutifully spout off, “Steve was just doing what he thought was best man.”

Clint’s response was a nod and very softly responding, “Ah, yes. What _he_ thought was best. That would be keeping life changing, if unsubstantiated, information about a teammate not just from said teammate but from the team as whole for two fucking years. That would be keeping vital information about Zemo’s plans from his teammates because they won’t understand. That would be deciding to fight, with lethal intent, our friends. Our family. Because, what? Because Tony Stark didn’t have any room to just let you continue being a superhero without oversight? Because you’d gone and gotten yourself label as an international terrorist and the world wanted you stopped before more people died? Because the Avengers had ceased to take out the bad guys, right? How many police officers died in your bid for Barnes, Steve? Those were the good guys, just averages joes doing their jobs. With friends and families waiting on them to come home. Instead, their families get a folded flag and a slap in the face for justice. 

And you know, that letter of yours. More Tony Stark’s family than yours, right? That’s why we all ended up with you right? Because we’re Tony Stark’s family? Some fucking family. Backstabbers, thieves, liars, criminals. That’s all we are now. And it’s about damn time we own that because ignoring it doesn’t make it any less accurate.”

Tony watched as Clint tapped on the table with one finger, staring at his hands before finishing his rant, “I’m not saying I’m faultless. God knows I’ve made my share of the piss-poor decisions through this entire thing. But you know what? Least I can recognize when I’m being an unappreciative shithead with cock for brains. And yea, it might have taken me a while but I still got there before all of you. And you know what? I fucking apologized when I got there. And none of that I’m sorry I got caught bullshit you tried Steve. We all read that letter and if you honestly thought it would be accepted you deserve less credit than I give you, cause dude? What the fuck? Just an honest to God, I’m sorry I was such a fucking shithead and I hope you can forgive me someday apology. It’s the adulting things to do, don’tcha know.” 

There was only silence for a long while before Phil spoke up from the doorway where he was casually leaned against the wall, “You have each asked, repeatedly, in numerous different ways why you are still confined to the Compound. This is part of the reason. You’re all adults and almost a hundred percent across the board none of you can own up to your own mistakes let alone come up with ways where you could have better served the team by taking a different stance. There is no loyalty here, there is no team, no family. I would trust a single one of you in the field to do the job I assigned you without running your own program. As a collective you told 117 countries of the United Nations Assembly that their requirement of oversight, accountability and responsibility was a, and I quote, _corrupt agenda_. That their sovereignty didn’t matter and could be ignored whenever it didn’t suit your needs. That their ability to protect their own people was invalid because you all could do it better. How arrogant are you?” 

Tony was riveted as Phil walked into the room and took his chair at the head of the table. Looking around much the same way Clint had done at the beginning of his rant. Phil shook his head and declared, “I don’t have a team here. I’ve got a group of selfish teenagers who haven’t managed to get their heads out of their asses long enough to realize that they aren’t just hurting themselves but everyone around them as well. So blinded that they miss when their own team members are wallowing and their _family_ is destroying itself from the inside out. You all didn’t need Zemo to break you apart, he was just the catalyst that made everything happen so much faster.” 

Glancing around from under his eyelashes, Tony cleared his throat and announced, “This little Avenger heart to heart seems like it’s going to take a while. I’ll be doing my job if anyone needs me.” 

Sliding his chair back with a nod from Phil, Tony made his escape. 

~*~

Shifting in his chair as Tony exited, Phil looked around the table again. There was more than one hangdog expression looking back at him. He couldn’t help but be disappointed in them. The Avengers were supposed to be a second chance for most of them. A chance to turn their lives around and do some good. They weren’t bad people, just headstrong and stubborn. Refused to listen to calmer voices when stressed. Even Tony had been one of those, this latest brush with death seemed to have cured that though and as much as Phil liked not having to worry about Tony Stark’s temper getting the best of him on national television yet again. The calmer, sadder man that had shown up as a replacement made something soft inside Phil’s chest ache. Tony Stark had suffered enough. 

Every face that looked back at him, waiting for whatever was going to come next had been someone Phil had sought to save from themselves by giving them a missions, a purpose and people who thought like they did and had experiences that would allow them to relate. All of them except Clint. Clint, who Phil had demanded Fury include on the team when recommendations had been requested. He wondered not for the first time where it had all gone wrong. With a sigh, Phil said, “I have never been so disappointed in any team I’ve had a hand in creating as I was with the Avengers when I heard what had happened over the Accords. The specialty response team I was leading at the time had been in the middle of a series of rather delicate and time critical missions when I got a call from Dr. Stark.”

Setting a folder of paperwork he’d brought with him down on the table, Phil traced the edge of it before he said, not looking around the table, “Four lives were spared an unknown traumatizing experience because I trusted Tony Stark to know where to draw the line.” 

Shaking his head, Phil looked back up and focused on Wanda first. The witch had always had an irrational dislike of his friend. Phil thought it beyond time to start cracking that delusion. “Wanda, you were confined to your rooms after you lost control and blew up an entire building. Did you ever stop to ask why? Or did you just assume that Tony Stark was being a cruel dictator who had locked you in for his own sick amusement?” 

He watched a blush stain her cheeks. Phil couldn’t tell if it was shame or anger from her profile but was willing to bet that it was anger. Moving away from her because she was no longer in a frame of mind to listen to anything he had to say, Phil singled out Steve, “Captain Rogers. Did you ever stop to ask why Tony Stark of all people would go from doing everything in his considerable power to discredit Thaddeus Ross to suddenly being the number one supporter? Did you ever stop to think that Howard Stark and Margaret Carter might have keep in contact after World War II? That perhaps Tony might have grown up knowing that formidable lady? She was his godmother after all.” 

Smirking Phil continued, “And before you accuse him of wrongdoing regarding the woman’s funeral, he wasn’t there because he was told his presence would become disruptive to mourners and was requested to not attend by Sharon Carter. How devastating a blow that would have been don’t you think? This woman who you saw as a parent, who you have spent two decades handling emergency medical care for, passes away and you are tossed to the side like yesterday's garbage without even the courtesy to say good bye. I’m not sure I would have taken it as well as Tony Stark did, but that’s right. He was scheduled at MIT for a guest lecture the next day. Not even a moment to grieve before being yanked around by the chain.”

Tilting his head slightly, Phil considered Steve. There, Phil could clearly read shame and regret. Deciding to push his luck, Phil remarked wistfully, “For the longest time, I thought you to be the best of men Captain. And here I find, that you are not the best. You are just a man. A man who has lost his way and clings to things that are gone. Hope about a little secret, man to man. Life is like an hourglass, glued to the table. There is no rewind button. There is no way for you to go back. Perhaps it’s time to honestly start looking towards the future, you’re going there whether or not you like it.” 

He could say he tried now, it would probably take more drastic measures, just like with Wanda. But it was a kernel of thought that might spark some soul searching. Phil would never discount soul searching at reforming men who’d made questionable decisions. Bruce caught his eye as Phil looked around once more and said, “I’m aware of my shortcomings. I didn’t know he was in the building until the alarm, otherwise I’d have already searched Tony out to apologize.” 

Nodding, Phil accepted the words. He would wait and see if they proved to be true. It would be a good first task for Yinsen. Observing Natasha who met his glance definitely Phil moved on to Sam, asking, “Wilson, as someone who has extensive training in seeing the effects of depression, PTSD and the horrors of war on your fellow man, I am disappointed that you missed it so clearly in the people you work alongside. Apparently you require a reminder. You have joined the Avengers. This grants you a greater responsibility and greater requirement of loyalty to the team than to any one individual. That stated, perhaps it might have been a better use of your talents to have said no or presented an opposing view point anywhere along the line before your actions labeled you an international terrorist? A thought to reflect on perhaps.” 

Dismissing the aerialist, Phil turned his attention to Scott. Regarding the engineer until the man looked up briefly and meet his gaze before immediately looking away. Phil did his best not to snort in contempt. What had Hank Pym been thinking with Scott. Still, the man was now considered an Avenger and it was down to Phil to get them acting like a team again. Tapping his folder, Phil asked, “Scott Lang, to the best of my knowledge you have never had a single interactions with Dr. Stark until the fight at the airport. So, I would be highly interested in learning about the reasons for your lingering animosity.” 

Scott shot a look of utter terror at him. A look reminiscent of a student being called on who had no idea what the original questions was, but before Phil could attempt to repeat his questions using smaller words Scott huffed out a breath and started drawing on the table with his index finger as he explained, “You know, when someone you look up too tells you something, you believe it. You think, this is a good person and their opinion must be right. You don’t look for facts unless something sounds really off. And Tony Stark. Well, Tony Stark has never been human in my world. He’s just this enigma of money, women and booze. Sometimes with some science thrown in for good measure because of course he has to be the best at everything. He didn’t have feelings, and I thought I’d discovered proof of that very thing in the RAFT. He was just so blase about the entire thing. Barton’s anger just rolled off of him, like water beading off a duck. And you know, Hank always went on about how much of a lying, cheating, whoring thief Howard Stark had always been. At that moment, it felt like validation that the apple hadn’t fallen far from the tree. I didn’t know anything else about it, and everyone here seemed to avoid talking about him or only saying things that supported what I thought I knew. It’s hard to see outside of a box when all you see are more opinions like your own. I guess I’m going to have to learn how to look farther out now.” 

He would not sigh in disappointment again, Phil told himself. Short sightedness, selfishness, lack of inclination to test boundaries and suss out the truth of matters. It was a handler’s worst nightmare and under normal circumstances should have fallen to the team leader to correct. But apparently, Steve Rogers had given up on being a team leader in everything but name. Clint had been right, Steve had ample time to rectify the issue, each and every one of them and simply hadn’t for whatever reason. Phil considered laying money on that reason being as complex as Tony Stark’s daddy issues. The biggest culprit though was probably pride. Here in the brave new world, Tony Stark was a master of the tides where Steve could barely float. 

It was well past time that the issues that bashed apart the Avengers were put to rest and resolved though. And if it was the last thing Phil did he would see the Avengers apologize to Tony Stark and get their asses back in gear to save the world. The threat of another alien invasion hadn’t disappeared just because there were interpersonal issues to resolve and Phil would make sure this team was ready to coordinate with their less local counterparts as soon as humanly possible.

He would do it because Tony Stark still believed in the Avengers. Phil didn’t have concrete proof but it was there in all the little things that occurred to make sure the Avengers had everything they needed. Iron Man might be done, and Tony Stark might have issues as clear as day but the man’s broken, damaged heart still resided here in the Compound alongside the men and women that Phil was staring down. Looking around at each of them one more time, Phil wondered if it was even possible for them to understand just how much Tony Stark loved them all and wanted to seem them succeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is half of what I've got written, I refuse to post another 10,000-word chapter. Clint's chapter was exhausting and I don't feel it turned out as well as it could if I'd broken it up into smaller pieces. There will likely be an edit of that chapter some time after I've reached my ending point on this story. But I'd rather keep moving forward than beat my head against the wall that is chapter four. 
> 
> Next on deck for Team Tony Stark Defense Squad is Bruce Banner.
> 
> P.S. 2205 words added. :) That's an entire chapter in some of my stories you know.


	6. Rehearsing the Lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce has a thing for postcards he never sends; Clint has a conversation with his kids and the rest you just have to read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the second half of the last chapter, expanded and edited. I hope you all like it!
> 
> ~*(^.=.^)*~ time lapse
> 
> ~*~ POV change
> 
> P.S. Tony Stark is OFFICIALLY OOC
> 
> REVISED 01162018

The observation deck was his location of choice upon quitting the conference room. Tony had settled the deck, which wasn’t so much a deck as an enclosed room that doubled as a command center and interactive holographic display of the security systems all in one so that it was protected and hidden by the rest of the Compound. There wasn’t a camera or sensor that couldn’t be accessed from his little niche. It wasn’t safe like the server room, where there were installed defenses that could and would, and _had_ taken out threats to the men and women who lived and worked within the Compound walls. But it was difficult to find, almost impossible to gain access to and coming or going Tony would know if Steve fucking Rogers took it into his too pretty, thick head to begin looking for yet another confrontation. 

This was Tony Stark’s playhouse, designed by him with his particular brand of ADD in mind. Floor, ceiling, and walls were all made out of his holographic glass overlaid on sound damping materials and thick concrete walls. Never let it be said that Tony Stark didn’t learn from his mistakes. He wouldn’t be falling into the ocean because a madman decided to relocate his house and neither would his tech if there was anything he could say about it. All that aside, the observation deck was his retreat, complete with standard desk chair for those times when he’d been too injured to stand for any length of time. 

A state that had been distressingly common before Siberia.  
Now, Tony took his place in the chair not because he was injured but because he was tired. Right down to the bone. And being back in the Compound wasn’t helping matters in the least. Leaning his head back, Tony rubbed at a temple and waited for Yinsen to notify him that the self-checks were completed. 

He had known the agreeing to come back to the Compound wouldn’t go smoothly. That’s why he’d brought the goon squad. Mostly as a precaution but also because the Stark luck just didn’t work like that. He’d been prepared to weather insults and slights from former teammates. He’d been prepared, mostly, for seeing Steve fucking Rogers again. But Tony hadn’t been ready for the realization that he had missed the Compound. Malibu, even with the renovations and upgrades he’d done, just wasn’t the same and didn’t compare. It was homesickness in every sense of the word and Tony was flabbergasted to know that he was indeed capable of the emotion.  
Except, now, the Compound wasn’t his home. He didn’t have a place among heroes and gods. At least, not unless he wanted to step back up as Iron Man. Something he wouldn’t do, and not just because he’d promised Pepper that he was done for real after Steve fucking Rogers had tried to kill him. 

If Steve knew at all how close he’d come, Tony would buy stock in Hammer Tech. But with his sternum already compromised from the arc reactor, the constant and never-ending rotation of bruised, battered or fractured ribs as a result of piloting Iron Man, the super soldier strength had come damnably close. The doctors had been very clear when he’d been checked out. If the shield had come down any harder, his ribs wouldn’t have just been fractured to hell and back. They would have shattered, becoming organic shrapnel. His most vital organs would have been shredded instantly, and Tony would have been dead before Steve and Barnes had gotten halfway out of the bunker. 

Thankfully, the suit had fulfilled its design and Steve had held back just enough that there had been massive damage but nothing a little time couldn’t restore. Well, time and Extremis. But that was Tony’s little secret.

Sighing into the darkness, Tony just sat. Didn’t pull up projects, didn’t use his administrative access to get into the security cameras. Didn’t look to see where Coulson, or anyone else, was hiding out. He just sat and wished that things were different. It wasn’t like Tony hadn’t done everything he could think of to help matters. He’d stepped down as an Avenger, moved across the country, and left off any communication. Tony had ensured that they were all pardoned and could come home. He’d made sure that the criminal activities were laid to rest and no one got an international felony added to their records. 

He knew the Avengers were all still ridiculously furious at him for the Accords. Knew it, but couldn’t for anything understand why. Tony hadn’t been at the helm of that out-of-control mess. Hadn’t had any control of the consequences. That had all been Ross. Tony had just been the poor sucker who had taken an oar and tried to keep them from ending up battered to bits. A fat lot of good his efforts had been; in the end.

In the darkness, time moved differently. Slower with nothing to mark its passing. The delicate chime of the proximity alarms announcing someone trying to gain entry made him sit up with a groan. A gesture to Yinsen got the lights on and opened the door. Tony fully expected to see Coulson walking in. The man had taken to looking after Tony like he was a wayward psychopathic duckling. 

Instead, he was greeted with the sight of Bruce Banner carefully making his way in the door with, of all things, a shoe box under his arm. Sitting there, baffled and wary, Tony only offered a nod as the other man came closer. The smile he got in return was hesitant and self-deprecating. 

Tilting his head to the side, Tony watched. His emotions concerning Bruce were complicated. He was still sore about how the other man had left after Ultron. On the one hand, Tony could understand, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t needed Bruce. And it sure as hell didn’t mean that Tony couldn’t have used his friend to lean on during that time. On the other hand, Tony was glad that Bruce was back in the Compound. Bruce needed somewhere he could relax without worrying that someone was going to cause problems about the Other Guy. 

Seeing Bruce settled down carefully on to the floor and hold the box out like a peace offering didn’t fit any of the pre-existing patterns of their interactions. Leaning forward, Tony felt a confused frown turn the corners of his lips downward. Even as he reached out to take the box Tony’s mind started running a mile a minute. Coming up with hundreds of different reasons why Bruce was acting so out of character. Accepting the box, he acknowledged the weight and absently wondered what had been broken that needed to be fixed as he slid the lid off. 

And stopped.

Inside the box were postcards; hundreds of them. Some of them were well foxed, others were dogeared. More than a several had been bent or folded before being smoothed out in the box. Pulling out the first three, Tony turned them over and saw Bruce’s precise, neat print. Two of the cards in his hands held amusingly little stories, and one contained an apology that went on until it reached the edge of the card. Frowning, Tony pulled out a handful. 

Every single postcard was addressed to him. 

Staring down at the topmost card in his hand, one with a stylized picture of the Buddha on one side and an admonishment to pass on Doh Khleh if ever offered. He stared at the little cards in wonder and awe. Stunned that by all appearances, Bruce hadn’t just fucked off to parts unknown and forgotten about all of them. Forgotten about Tony. Looking back up at Bruce, Tony watched the other man run a hand through tousled curls before gesturing at the postcards.  
Tony looked back down at them, flicking through several more as Bruce explained, “I picked up the first one a few days after I crash landed. Tried to apologize for one thing on it before realizing that I might need to apologize for something else entirely. So I grabbed another one and tried again. Pretty soon it became a habit to take a postcard, try and apologize, feel like a complete failure, add it to the ever-growing stack in my pack and move on. I started writing down little notes when I realized that out of everyone I missed, you were the one I turned to look for most often when something happened.”

Shaking his head, Tony looked up and asked, “Why didn’t you ever send any of these? Even one would have been enough.” 

Bruce winced. With a sigh, he leaned back on his hands. Tony just watched, waited. It didn’t take long before Bruce said, gaze lost somewhere behind Tony’s head, “I never meant to be gone so long. I got caught up. Helping people with problems I could do something about. Six weeks turned into six months, turned into a year and then; I turned around in Chittagong and realized that I’d been gone for two whole years and knew nothing of what had been going on in the first world. I’m sorry Tony. I never meant to be gone so long, and I never meant to saddle you with the Ultron fall out in its entirety.” 

Looking back down at the postcards, Tony shrugged and said, “Doesn’t matter now. You’re here now. That’s what counts.” 

The smile he got from Bruce was all relief before Tony was asked, “So what actually happened with the Accords? I’ve only gotten bits and pieces here and there. Nothing I would trust. I thought about asking Agent Coulson but was hoping, well what I was hoping for doesn’t matter now. So spill.” 

Grinning, Tony demanded in return, “Only if you fall asleep on me.” 

Bruce chuckled as he replied, “Sorry, popped a couple caffeine pills on my way in for support. You’ll just have to put up with my sterling commentary this time.” 

Grinning delightedly, Tony just shook his head and slide down onto the floor facing Bruce. Absently, he leafed through several more postcards even as he told Bruce, “I got a visit from Secretary of State Thaddeus Ross about three weeks before the Accords were presented to the Avengers for signing. He had a list of accusations against the team and me that the Accords would make criminal and about a hundred photos of Laura and the kids on the farm. I told no until the pictures came out. Ross was unusually specific in his demands that I force the Avengers to sign the Accords or he would make sure that the Barton family disappeared into one of his research facilities. Told me that if I tried to contact anyone about our conversation he would see me in a cell right beside them. I informed him I would consider his proposal and Ross laughed. He fucking laughed before telling me that he didn’t need the Accords to take apart the Avengers and that they would do all the work for him. That there would be benefits reaped either way so it was best to just capitulate and he would make sure my company was spared any financial hardship.

"I ended up agreeing so he would get out of my office. Immediately went down to my legal team and got them researching the Accords and coming up with a counterproposal because whatever Ross is for can’t be valid legal practice. Also asked them to start brushing up on the POW laws and legislature regarding the handling of POW’s who had committed heinous crimes while captured because I knew. I _knew_ Steve wouldn’t let anything stand if it threatened goddamned fucking Bucky Barnes. And I was right about that after all.

"Lastly, the legal team and I started working on building a case to get the Accords declared unconstitutional so they could be overturned in the Supreme court. So all of that on top of running Stark Industries and being an Avenger, even an inactive one, and dealing with Aunt Peggy’s decline. I didn’t have as much patience as I should have. I know that now.” 

Tony watched Bruce shrug before commenting, “I wouldn’t have risked those kids either Tony. The Barton’s are some of the good ones and deserve to be protected.” 

Nodding, Tony sighed as Bruce asked,”So what was the straw that broke the camel's back, as it were?”

Tony sighed again and roll his eyes as he stated, “Steve fucking Rogers saying that the United Nations was just a corrupt political body with an agenda that couldn’t be trusted not to use the Avengers for gross personal gains.”

Bruce let out a shocked squeaking noise before Tony’s fellow scientist was just about bent over in half laughing. Tony just looked through more postcards. A year removed from the events and it still hurt to remember that Steve hadn’t trusted him, ever. But Tony could admit that it was a bit funny in hindsight. 

He watched Bruce wipe tears from his cheeks before saying, “Okay, alright. I assume something else happened?” 

Tony nodded and explained, “There was a bombing which killed the King of Wakanda and was reported to be the work of the Winter Soldier. Steve’s bestiest best friend in the whole wide world. It ended up being a frame job, but that didn’t come out until after we all had out big showdown in Germany. Ironic that where it all started with the Avengers turned out to be where it ended as well. At least for me.”

Tony chuckled, distracted by a terrible little drawing on the back of one of the postcards of the Hulk smashing tiny stick figures with what he assumed were guns and tanks. Shaking his head, Tony said, “Turns out that everything was a part of Ross’s master plan to destroy the Avengers and get them locked up in the RAFT so he could have carte blanche to do whatever he wanted to them in international waters. I assume he was working towards his goal of mindless juggernauts still. Or perhaps a League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, because you know Natasha would have been voted right off that island.” 

Tony caught Bruce nodding out of the corner of his eye even as he got on a roll with his rant, “After everything. After all the rousing speeches about teamwork and fair play and trusting our allies. After every lecture that I’ve ever sat through about sharing critical information with teammates. Steve fucking Rogers had the nerve to hide that Zemo was an insane asshole who was threatening to unleash reserve Winter Soldiers on the world and had framed Barnes for the bombing.” 

Looking down, Tony watched as Bruce's head tilted to the side in consideration before asking, “So what aren’t you telling me?” 

Tony winced and set the postcards he was looking at back in the box before looking past Bruce to watch dust float through the blue holographic lights. Only the sounds of breathing broke the silence for a stretch before Tony whispered, “Zemo had uncovered a video in the HYDRA files that were part of the SHIELD data dump. A video of the Winter Soldier, of James Buchanan Barnes, murdering my parents and framing it too look like a drunk driving accident. When I went to help Steve in Siberia with the other Soldiers it had been cued to play.” 

Tony glanced at Bruce and got a nod. Tony shrugged and picked at the inseam of his slacks as he explained, “That video, on top of everything else, made something break inside me. Something I didn’t even know could still be broken after Afghanistan. And to find out that Steve fucking Rogers had known since the info dump at least was the last straw to my temper. Barnes, because he has a death wish, added his own fuel to the fires of my rage by putting in that mind controlled or not he had done the deed and remembered doing the deed.” 

Wincing, Tony finished, “It was not my finest hour.” 

Bruce shrugged and said, “You’re human Tony, everyone’s got that point where enough is enough, and we do something stupid. Unfortunately, you grew up in a broken home with a shining example of toxic masculinity as a father figure who taught you, whether you like to admit it or not, that violence is the answer to emotional compromising.”

Tony huffed a laugh and said, “That is a surprisingly adept description of Howard.” 

He got a hum from Bruce in response and shrugged a shoulder as he continued, “They beat the Iron Man armor to the point it was unsalvageable after I lost my shit and attacked Barnes. It’s been an uphill battle against the Accords ever since. As penance. Moved back out to California figuring that life would move on smoother if I weren’t around.” 

Bruce had a thoughtful look on his face as he asked, “How unsalvageable is unsalvageable Tony?” 

Tony shuddered looking away from Bruce. He tried not to remember as he said, “Took a vibranium shield to the reactor unsalvageable.”  
The memories came unbidden. An onslaught of remembered fear and pain. Panic settled into his bones as his memories reminded him of those last few moments before rescue arrived. Where he laid on a frozen stone slab, contemplating death and praying to a God he didn’t believe in that someone would take care of Pepper.

A rhythmic tapping on his knee brought his awareness back to the present, and Bruce’s concerned face swam into focus. Apparently, he’d been hyperventilating. At least, that’s what Tony was going to assume from Bruce’s look. He watched Bruce shake his head, eyes tinged green even in the blue lights of the projectors before the man asked, “How bad?” 

Tony let an involuntary, bitter scoff out before he managed to say, “Any harder and my ribs would have shattered into a thousand pieces with just enough momentum to rip all the soft squishy parts to a bloody pulp.” 

“I would have been very upset to have come back and found out you were dead. Specifically, if I had come back to learn that Steve had killed you. I thought he looked guilty.” Was Bruce's only response.

Tony just shrugged again before he said, “I’ll take your word for it, but I’m sure you’ll forgive me if I say I don’t believe it. I can’t see him viewing his actions as anything but right and just. It’s a flaw of his I’ve noticed. The inability to second guess his actions or to even consider that they might have been out of line. He’s fucking Captain America after all. In what universe could he possibly be wrong about responsibility and accountability? Not this one for sure.” 

Bruce sighed and asked, “So where _is_ the Winter Soldier?” 

Rolling his eyes and picking up the postcards again, Tony said, “On ice in Wakanda until they can figure out how to un-brainwash him. They contacted me a while back for suggestions but didn’t seem to like anything I had to say. Unfortunately for them, to figure out which implants in the man's brain, and he has at least thirty-six of them by the way, are the ones containing the Winter Soldier programming he’s going to have to be awake. They are going to have to trigger an episode, and it’s going to suck for everyone involved. I’m not just going to willy-nilly go into his _brain_ without knowing which ones cause his brain to light up while he’s doing his impersonations of an assassin. My working hypothesis is that most of them control the arm since it’s a work of mechanical art.” 

Tony set the postcards down and leaned back on his hands remembering the scans he’d been sent and breathed, “A work of fucking art, Brucey. I’ve seen it in action, and he’s got a level of control and fine motor articulation that is mind-blowingly precise since there isn’t an arm inside of it. Sensors through the whole thing that provide environmental feedback about what he touches. Imitates his natural body movements and can be hermetically sealed with a thought. A thought Bruce, think of the applications if it could be modernized. Prosthetics that mimic the lost appendages? Amputees would kill for something even half as advanced as Barnes’s arm.” 

Tony got a chuckle from Bruce before saying, “It would be a tragedy for anyone to screw up such an ideal system of a prosthesis. I’ve got a few ideas for a new arm if he ever comes off the ice for good. There were some old blueprints I found when I did a lookie-loo through the SHIELD data dump files while I was restricted to the Tower to let my ribs heal. With a little input from Wakanda Barnes’s arm could be so pimped out extraterrestrials will drop into cream their pants over it.” 

Out of the corner of his eye, Tony caught Bruce shaking his head with a fond smile on his face before asking, “This is the Winter Soldier we’re talking about right?”

Nodding Tony tried to explain, “Brainwashing. Not like we don’t know a thing or two about the sort of abuse that goes into that bull shit. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I could stand in the same room with him without planning at least ten ways in which he could meet a timely and seemingly accidental end. But logic and reason are how I live my life. And when I take a step back and look at the situation logically he’s as much a victim as any of the rest of us, except Steve fucking Rogers. Who in fact, volunteered for his abuse and therefore doesn’t actually _know_. Unfortunately, Barnes had about as much choice as Clint, and I don’t blame Clint for New York so where do I get off blaming Barnes for my mother?” 

From the look on Bruce’s face, Tony concluded his fellow scientist didn’t feel the same but also felt that offering a counter-argument would only start a fight between them. It was one of the things Tony liked the most about Bruce, how easy the man was to read. So Tony wasn’t surprised when Bruce took a deep breath, nodded and changed the topic of conversation entirely by asking, “I’m going to cook this evening for supper, interested?” 

Giving a crooked smile, Tony declined, “Not this time I think. I’m just going to settle in here and work out any glitched code in Yinsen and Opie. The sooner they are 100%, the sooner I can get out of everyone’s hair.”

Tony heard Bruce sigh in disappointment before there was a rustle of cloth. Looking up through his eyelashes Tony watched as Bruce rose smoothly from the floor and hesitated. Tony almost looked up when Bruce squared his shoulders with a determined frown before saying, “I’ll send someone with something for you a little later then.” 

Tony looked up to watch Bruce walk out of the room wondering when his friend had started having a spine.

~*(^.=.^)*~

Lost in the lines of code that got more elegant and beautiful everytime he looked at them, Tony didn’t realize how much time had passed before the proximity alarm sounded again. Blinking as he marked his spot in Yinsen’s code, Tony swiped at the screen to his right to unlock the observation deck door. Turning, Tony caught sight of Clint walking towards him. 

Watching in awe as the archer moved around the bits of code and screens running debugging programs hovering randomly around Tony’s position like a fortress wall of incorporeal information. The screens could be walked through, Tony had a background program that ran for each and every screen he threw up on the off chance that someone did to preserve the data displayed. But because the holographic displays were designed to interact with the electric fields that the human body put out walking through them had the potential to cause momentary errors. It would be different if the world had the nanities that Tony used to control technology. The screens could be calibrated differently. 

As it was, whenever someone actually understood the technology and took pains to not to screw with it gave Tony a little thrill. Each, and every time. 

Once Clint was close enough, Tony immediately noticed two things. One was that Clint’s hands were empty which meant that it wasn’t a friendly neighborhood food drop off, and two that the archer was smiling even as he asked, “Come and get something to eat? I promise you can come right back when you’re done, and no one else will be around.” 

Tony managed to spare a glance around the room before nodding. His desire to spend time with Clint overriding the desire to avoid everyone. With a put-upon sigh, Tony capitulated and said, “Yinsen, save all progress and close it down. We’ll pick up where I stopped when I get back.”

The AI, snarky thing that Yinsen was, only stated in bored Persian tones, “Excellent choice, Stark” before the holograms started closing down one by one. 

Shaking his head, Tony followed Clint out of the observation deck. He assumed that they would head towards the communal living areas, but instead, Clint jogged up the stairs towards the residential apartments and strode down the hallway. Clint opened the door to one of the rooms that had been unoccupied when the team had been in residence previously. Following Clint into the room behind the last door on the left, Tony looked around curiously. True to Clint’s word there wasn’t anyone else about. 

Instantly relaxing, he sat where Clint indicated and looked around taking in the little details of life being lived. They looked well lived in, Tony decided as he glanced around. Not something that had been opened up just so Tony wouldn’t have to face the Avengers. 

There was a stack of mission reports stacked and scattered in an unorganized fashion across the coffee table. And at least three coffee mugs which had been abandoned from Tony's position at the dining table. Along the back of the couch was a blanket, folded haphazardly and thrown out of the way. Boots by the door, dishes in the sink, the dregs of a pot of coffee still in the carafe. 

Clint caught his attention as the archer sat down across from him and followed his gaze. Tony decided right then and there that the dusting of pink across Clint’s cheeks looked good on the archer and that he wouldn’t mind seeing it there for different reasons. 

Clint cleared his throat and explained, "Laura and I split, I think I told you about that. We’re still working out the details, but its done and over. Semantics aside this was both as far away as I could get and still be as close as I could get to my kids. The suite she’s in with them is just on the other side of the back wall.”

Tony followed Clint’s fingers as the archer pointed vaguely towards the living room and shook his head before announcing fondly, “You are ridiculous.” 

Clint grinned in response and responded, “And awkward, it’s part of my charm.”

Laughing softly as Clint pushed a dish of his favorite curry towards in him a silent demand that he eat, Tony found himself relaxing into the familiar company and quiet atmosphere. 

Dinner passed by with friendly, peaceful conversation that meandered from one topic to the next without pause. Clint didn’t even seem bored or lost when Tony caught himself rambling about some new invention or complex mathematical function he’d been working on for this application or that. 

All of a sudden, Tony realized that several hours had passed by and it wasn’t until there came a knock on the door followed by small feet on the tile that Tony jolted out of his pleasant haze of contentment. The smile fell from his face with the sharp reminder that this life couldn’t be his, so as Clint listened to his kid’s babble on, Tony Stark made a stealthy strategic exit. 

Back in the observation deck, he dropped down into the chair and just sat for a moment breathing. He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. The meal with Clint was everything that he wanted, and Tony was the worst person ever for wanting to get in the middle of family Barton. They were all happy, they didn’t need him around to make a mess of everything. His eyes burned with exhaustion and a wearying soul-deep defeat crushed down onto him. Gesturing angrily at Yinsen to pull his spot in the code back up, Tony got back to work.

~*~

Clint noticed the exact moment when Tony slipped off and caught the look on the genius’s face as he did it too. It was hard not to see the movement out of the corner of his eye. Watching the retreating figure with a wistful look on his face, Clint didn’t realize he was distracted until Lila asked, “Why did Mr. Tony leave Dad? Did we do something?” 

That snapped him back into the present, and with a sigh, Clint pushed Tony out of his mind. Looking down at Lila, Clint gave her a smile and said, “No sweetheart. You guys didn’t do anything. Mr. Tony’s just under a lot of stress right now, and he’s not thinking quite right.”

She nodded sagely at him as Cooper told him, “All the computers have run smoother since he’s been here, I hope he stays. DUM-E’s listening program hasn’t worked as well, but I suppose it’s a fair trade.”

Clint suppressed a chuckle. Of course, only his children would have tried to listen in when they weren’t supposed too even after being told to leave the adults alone. He reached up to tousle Cooper’s hair as he pulled Lila closer and asked, “So you guys want him to stick around huh?” 

They both nodded at him before Lila asked, childlike innocence shining brightly from eyes that Clint saw every morning in the mirror. An innocence that he didn’t trust for a single second as she asked, “Can we adopt him?”

Clint raised an eyebrow as he looked down at her. Her smile widened into a pleased grin as she explained, “Mr. Tony doesn’t seem to have a family. We could be his family.”

Clint sighed. “Lila, it doesn’t quite work like that you know? What if Mr. Tony doesn’t want to be adopted?” 

Cooper’s voice was hard with anger, a tone Clint had heard for weeks, as his oldest boy sneered, “Who would want to join this family anyway? It’s just a broken mess.”

Pulling Cooper close with one arm, with a bit of a fight as Cooper half-heartedly fought back, Clint sighed and said, “Coop, I’m sorry. For the millionth time. I’m sorry. I did what I felt was the right thing to do. It was a mistake, I know that _now_.” 

All the fight went out of Cooper, and while Clint knew those battles were far from over, they were also ones he’d charge head-on. He’d made a mistake, and his kids had paid for it. Considerably more than Clint had realized initially. Resting his chin on top of Cooper’s head, Clint pulled Lila close too. 

It was Cooper who broke the silence, “I don’t want two addresses, or to split holidays and school vacations. I just want one family.” 

Clint nodded and said, “Well, you’re in luck then cause I’m not leaving you guys again. Not like that, at least. And just because me and your Mom aren’t together anymore doesn’t mean we don’t love you to the moon and back. We love each other too you know? It’s just different now. She’s my best friend and always will be, we just weren’t working as husband and wife.” 

He felt Cooper snort against his shoulder before Lila whispered, quiet and small, “You said that last time too.” 

Closing his eyes, Clint took a breath before he said, “I know Lila, I know I did. And then I went and broke that promise. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that you just have to trust me. I screwed that up and you can’t. And I understand. Sometimes things get broken, and no matter how hard you try to fix them it doesn’t work. You just have to move on and make something different. Hopefully, something better.” 

She nodded, mulling over his words even as Cooper scoffed in contempt. Smiling ruefully at the reminder that his oldest was rapidly becoming an adult Clint said, “I promise you, Cooper, my home will always be where you guys are, and no matter how many times I leave I’ll always do my absolute best to come back because I love you guys so much. I want to be here to watch you grow and answer your questions. I want to be your Dad. Can you at least let me try?”

Lila, ever the optimist, nodded enthusiastically as her tiny arms wrapped around his waist. “Of course!”

Clint felt her move to peer at Cooper. Cooper who was glaring at the wall. Clint’s heart broke a little as Lila deflated and asked, “That’s okay, right Cooper?” 

And that was all it took for Cooper's anger to fall like a house of cards. His son shifted slightly, glare clearing off his face before he said, “Yea Lila. Yea. Don’t mind me, I’m just being stupid.” 

As much as Clint hated the innocence they lost when he left them; as much as he hated their well-deserved anger with him, Clint liked seeing them so close. Working together and leaning on each other in times of stress and need. Shaking his head, Clint said, “Hugs and kisses you monsters, a little bird told me you have a busy day tomorrow.” 

They went without complaint, but this time as they walked away Clint noticed something he’d missed every time before. Lila might still be her rambunctious self, but Cooper had slotted himself into the role of protector. Clint could tell in the way his son walked, and the wary, tense set to his shoulders. Sighing again, this one as deep and as guilt-ridden as he could manage Clint reminded himself that he had no one to blame but himself and started in on the dishes. 

An hour later saw Clint slipping back into the observation deck. Only to stop short when he caught sight of Tony in the middle of a circle of holograms pouring through code that was far beyond Clint’s own skill. At that moment, Tony was the most beautiful thing Clint had seen since Laura on her wedding day. 

Lit up blue from the lighting, moving to and fro with a dancer's grace as he checked and double-checked his work. The sight took Clint breath. Instead of announcing his presence, Clint made his way around to the rolling chair that had settled behind Tony in the round room. The AI, Yinsen Clint reminded himself, helpfully shifting two screens so that Clint didn’t interfere with them. 

He had no idea how much time had passed, except that he’d moved on from watching Tony to looking over one of the seemingly simple code batches when the genius turned and caught sight of him sitting there. Clint watched as Tony faltered mid-movement which changed the graceful turn into a jerky twist. The hands that had been poised to grab the next screen of code fell as tension made the genius stiff. 

Moving his window, Clint stood up and walked over to Tony. He’d had a hot minute to think about things, and decided that Tony, like his kids, was beyond worth fighting. Clint had also had the thought that perhaps Tony didn’t know that’s how Clint felt. 

Holding out a hand, Clint waited. He was offering and asking all at once for Tony to meet him halfway. 

Tony just shook his head and said, “You don’t want me. You don’t need me. I don’t even want me. You’re happy, your family is happy… without me. Let’s not screw that up with my mess.”

Smiling gently, Clint replied, “I do want you, mess and all. I’ve wanted you for what seems like forever. I’m not asking you to marry me, or move in and play house alongside Laura and Phil in one big complicated family. I’m just asking for a chance. For both of us. To see if this is something that will work. To see if it’s something that we want.”

Wide-eyed, Clint watched as Tony just stared. He could see the fear, the doubt, the mistrust and wondered how many times Tony had been promised that this love would work out. This person would be the one to stand the test of genius and stay. Only to watch everything fall apart. 

A cold hand slipping into his own brought a smile to Clint’s face even as butterflies started acrobatics in his stomach. With his other hand, Clint reached up to pull Tony into a kiss. Gentle, chaste and something Clint hoped the genius would take as the promise it was meant to be. The promise to always try no matter how hard the relationship got, or how insane Tony became over some new piece of technology.

When he pulled back, Clint let his thumb brush gently over a cheekbone and got the pleasure of watching Tony relax into the touch. Amber eyes sliding closed in enjoyment. He pressed another kiss to Tony’s cheek before he asked, ”Just keep talking to me okay? Everything else will slot into place in its own time, so please just keep talking to me?”

That got him a crooked smile as Tony nodded and said, “I’ll do my best.” 

Joy suffused his entire being even as Clint made to let go and leave Tony to his work. Fingers tightened on his own before the genius told him, “I want you too, family and all.”

Clint couldn’t have stopped the happy smile that broke over his face even if he’d tried. Swooping in to press another kiss to Tony’s cheek he said, “I’m just going to sit over and here and watch if that’s okay?” Tony’s happy smile in return was a reward enough for the effort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Doh Khileh - Meghalaya, North Eastern State, India. Pork and onion salad with steamed pig brain garnish. Or so sayeth the all knowing google.
> 
> P.S. Don't get used to this whole two chapters in the same twenty-four hour period thing, I'm on vacation right now.


	7. Creative License Arguments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's a little screwed up in his head, even his head is taking a chance to let him know. Clint's still missing his patience (and would still like it back if you've seen it), and Phil doesn't do oh my god it's really that early in the morning conversations. Tony's just the peanut gallery today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Thank you all for your comments. I'm sorry I don't have another chapter to give in addition to this one. I had a specific stopping point I wanted to get to in the story before the week was over and a bad anxiety attack(for no apparent reason) happened yesterday and I've been out of sorts since. 
> 
> Thank you again for all your lovely comments, they really do mean the world to me. 
> 
> This chapter is from Steve's POV and I know it's not what a great many of you are looking for from Steve, I hope you like the chapter anyway.  
> -Aj

The hit jarred up his arm as his knuckles impacted with the bag; over and over. The pain was fading in a flash of heat and a tickle of an itch as the serum erased the damaged. Almost before he had finished pulling his arm back to reset for the next hit. He wished everything in his life worked like the serum. Sure there were some drawbacks but for the most part instantly fixed, in most cases, would solve a lot of his issues. 

He knew the Avengers were angry, mostly with him. He was aware of that, understood where they were coming from too. That didn’t change the fact that if presented the entire situation to do over, with the same information presented just as it had been, that he would choose the same way. It was selfish, but he would always choose Bucky over everyone because Bucky had always chosen Steve when there wasn’t anything worth picking. 

The rhythm of hitting the heavy bag was usually soothing. Sometimes, though, when Steve was especially tired, the memories wouldn’t leave him alone. They would crowd forward until he couldn’t see the bag anymore or the dead in his head would drag themselves awake to whisper questions he didn’t have answers too. 

Right, Left, Right, repeat.

_Stevie, what are you doing sweetheart?_

He didn’t know, not anymore. His mother’s voice was the worst. He remembered the exact moment she had said those words in that fondly exasperated tone that said more clearly than words ever could that she was so done with his shit. He had been trying to draw himself a friend, on the hardwood floors of the bedroom. He remembers how relieved she had looked the first time Bucky had brought him home. He wished she were still alive so he could ask for her guidance. Sarah Rogers might not have been a world class scholar but when it came to matters of the heart and soul Steve had never found anyone more knowledgeable. She would know how he could fix the Avengers situation. She would know the words to say to get through to them that he was sorry and ask for forgiveness or at the very least tell them he didn’t have a fucking clue what he was doing or what was right and wrong. Didn’t know who to put his trust in except himself. Unfortunately, that had blown up in his face too, so there went that idea. 

_Is this any way to honor a friendship, Steven Grant Rogers?_

No, no it wasn’t Pegs. Clint was right, he’d had ample time to intervene and say something about Sam and Scott’s comments. Could have pulled either one aside and told them in no uncertain terms that no matter what they personally thought of Tony Stark the man was a former Avenger and deserved their respect. It wasn’t like they didn’t all know just how much Tony had done for the Avengers before, after, even during the mess with the Accords. The honorable thing to do would have been to put his foot down and respected the memory if nothing else. 

Phil had been right too. Steve hadn’t stopped to think, or to ask questions, or to anything. The message about Peggy had come in the middle of Tony’s pitch about the Accords, and things had spiraled out of control from there. It hadn’t seemed like there was time anywhere from that point on to have a one on one talk with the genius. Steve was the Leader of the Avengers, though, he should have made time. He had been afraid though that if he left Bucky alone for too long that his oldest friend would vanish and he would have to start his hunt all over again. 

_Punk’s just got too much of the stupid with him, my fault I s’pose. Keep leaving him to find his own way._

No, Buck. None of this was your fault. It was his, Steve’s. All of it fell on his shoulders cause he made the choices. He chose not to listen. He chose not to think. He decided to fight. He knew from the start that he was outside of the law, what did he expect? That the world was just going to let that go because he’s Captain America? Apparently, he had, because he had been shocked and upset once the fighting had finished and Steve learned that he was a wanted fugitive with a kill order on his head. The rest of the Avengers in jail or the wind, all except the Vision and Rhodes. So they had hidden out like the low-life criminals they had sworn to bring down. All because Steve couldn’t take half a moment, curb his tongue and fucking listen when Tony Stark tried to explain. Not the well-rehearsed propaganda speech, but the real reasons. The ones that were keeping the genius up at night like the story the bags under his eyes screamed. All because no one else could protect Bucky as well Steve could. Except Bucky had been doing just fine without Steve’s interference.

Boy, had that rubbed him wrong in all the right ways. Bucky had been held captive for seventy years, tortured, brainwashed, conditioned to kill like he was just a fucking trained animal, and yet it was Bucky Barnes who adapted to the modern world like he had been born to it.  
Steve had been getting regular updates from T’Challa on how they were progressing on taking HYDRA and the Winter Soldier out of Bucky’s head and the last word he had received hadn’t seemed too confident. Apparently, the issue was figuring out which of the implants in Bucky’s brain did what and all of the specialist they had reached out to keep saying the same thing. To determine which ones to remove they would have to wake Bucky up, trigger the Winter Soldier and monitor his brain through the process. That just wasn’t something Steve wanted to put Bucky through so his answer remained the same: find another way.

Which always lead to Tony’s voice whispering in his head

_Making choices for people again Capsicle? Not much for learning from your mistakes I see._

Which wasn’t true, it wasn’t. Steve knew how to learn from his mistakes. He did. Steve wasn’t the micro-managing asshole of the team. The one incapable of admitting he was wrong. He wasn’t. _Except_ , his mind whispered, _you are_.

Steve knew there were a lot of questions which he didn’t know the answers too. Why had he thought that Tony backing Ross was an everyday thing? Why hadn’t Steve ever asked Tony, who was the son of Howard who had been a good friend, about Peggy? Why hadn’t Steve ever given Tony half a chance to be better than the horrible opinion Steve had formed of him from YouTube footage and SHIELD files? He supposed he had an answer to the last two, even if it made him uncomfortable. Steve didn’t want anyone else involved in the few pieces of the past that were still his to claim. He didn’t want to learn about the life well lived of Peggy Carter. Didn’t want to know that Howard Stark, the good man and brilliant scientist had thrown all of that away to become the number one weapons manufacturer with no regard to or for anything else. From the little insight, he had gained, his once upon a time friend had turned into a mean drunk with a quick left hook, and only the left because the right was needed to hold his drink. He didn’t want to look at Tony Stark like he was a hero because then what was Steve? Except Tony Stark was a hero, probably more so than Steve himself at this point. He’d lost track of how many charities Tony had started, how many inventions that revolutionized construction or medical technology or just life easier for someone displaced by the Avengers. He’d never say it, but the mini-cloth washer had blown his mind. 

_You know pal, taking pages out of my book might not have been the greatest of ideas._

He was aware that, honestly he did. Howard hadn’t been the best of role model’s when he was still a good man. It didn’t change the fact that he’d made mistake after mistake, had hurt the people who loved him. Even if he couldn’t bring himself to love them back for fear of waking up tomorrow and finding out they were all gone, and now Steve didn’t have anyone to go to for advice and counsel on where to start fixing things.

Tony wouldn’t get within arm’s reach of him for some strange reason, shying away like a skittish alley cat who’d received more kicks than kindness. 

Clint was on civil terms with him but not by much, and probably only because Tony Stark had protected his family when Steve’s choice had put them in jeopardy. Another tidbit that didn’t sit well with him. 

Wanda was hot and cold with him, almost as if she couldn’t figure out who to be angrier with; him or herself. 

Sam followed his every lead and Steve was beginning to wonder if that habit right there might have caused more damage than anything else, just like Phil had said. If he hadn’t known Sam would be there right by his side without question no matter what he did, Steve was pretty sure he would have made different choices. 

Phil was disappointed in him, and God if that hadn’t cut deep. It was like disappoint his mother all over again. 

Scott still worshiped him, which he was figuring out had the same detrimental influence on his thought process as Sam’s unwavering loyalty. 

Natasha didn’t seem to be on speaking terms with anyone at all. He hadn’t seen her interact with anyone since she had arrived with them at the Compound. Steve had no idea where she had come from, she wasn’t there when Steve did a head count when leaving Wakanda, but she had walked off the jet with them at the Compound. 

Bruce was the one person he was actually worried about because he didn’t think for a second that Tony would withhold information about what happened in Siberia from his Science Bro. Tony hadn’t been reasonable, but Steve’s actions were the worse of the two. He hadn’t needed Laura to point that out to him. Steve had known that the fight in Siberia could have been avoided entirely if Steve had just had the courage to face Tony’s anger. He’d suffered it in the end, and Steve was sure that it would have been a thousand times less horrific if he’d just managed to pull the genius aside and say: ‘Look, this isn’t easy, and I’m sorry. While Natasha and I were hunting down information about the HYDRA threat in SHIELD we came across some information that hinted at your parent's accident having been orchestrated by HYDRA and it looks like the Winter Soldier was the one with those orders’. Steve was confident that if he’d manage to have that conversation before the video Tony’s anger would have been impressive but it would have run its course and turned into something productive. That’s just how Tony was, once that initial flare-up of emotion was through it was all logic and revenge. It wouldn’t have turned into Tony trying to kill people, trying to kill Bucky.

_Stevie, what are you doing sweetheart?_

He didn’t know.

_What’re you doing punk?_

He didn’t know.

_What are you waiting for Steve?_

I don’t know.

_What are you doing, pal?_

“I don’t know!”

The yell echoed off the walls to the tune of his labored breathing. Stumbling back from the bag he tripped over his feet and landed hard on the floor. Shaking fingers picked uselessly at the tape on his hands before he gave up and just covered his face. Masking the tears with his hands. 

Steve started when gentle hands pull his left hand away from his face and carefully began removing the tape. Lowering his other hand he opened his eyes onto the Hawkeye vest. Raising his head a little farther got him Clint’s face. The archer had a grave look about him, but Steve hadn’t seen him with anything but a severe countenance for weeks, except for a brief moment earlier. 

The group had been walking towards wherever Clint had stashed his children when he had been notified the defenses had been breached, and Steve had witnessed a moment where he had seen the Clint he remembered from before the Accords, from before Ultron. The angles of the hallways weren’t right for him to have heard, even with his super hearing (he suspected Stark engineering was at work there), what was said but whatever it was Clint had lit up. Steve had also noticed that there had been a playful content smile that seemed to be waiting for a reason to make an appearance whenever Clint was around Tony. Their interactions smacked painfully of how Bucky had always been with him. 

Now though there seemed to be something lurking underneath the serious facade that was directed at Steve, some concern or worry. At least this time, in this setting Clint didn’t look like he’d bitten into something sour at the sight of him. Steve just watched in shock as his hand was inspected carefully for damage, of which there wasn’t any the itch had long since faded before his hand was released and the other one pulled up and given the same treatment. Once finished the archer looked him over before asking

“Hearing voices Cap? Pretty sure that’s a sign of insanity. Inside or outside your head?” 

Looking down at his hands Steve considered trying to talk to the other man, it was obvious that Clint had a wealth of experience to which Steve might actually find some level they could relate on. Except Clint had trusted him to do the right thing, and Steve had blown it. 

“I’m fine, it’s nothing.” It was his best-rehearsed answer. He hadn’t been expecting the immediate and furious response 

“God _damn_ it! Don’t you dare fucking start lying to my face.” Shocked his head snapped up to meet the archer’s anger head on. So few people were willing to call him on his behavior since Project Rebirth it was a surprise and a shock every time. Tony had been the only one who would call Steve out and not back down about it, right or wrong Tony Stark would give as good as he got and often better. Steve shook his head and said

“It’s not your business.” The sound of the archer’s fist hitting the floor next to his foot startled him enough that he met Clint’s gaze. The anger he found there had hardened the features into something he almost didn’t recognize before Clint shifted forward into his face and asked slowly with a voice low and full of menace

“I’m only going to ask once more Rogers before I report you as unfit for duty pending a full psych eval and speaking from personal experience, those aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. Do you hear voices?” Steve shook his head in the negative and said

“I don’t think so.” He got a jerky nod from Clint before the archer moved back into his previous squatting crouch before asking  
“Memories? Voices you know accusing you of what you know you’ve done?” Steve hesitated just long enough to receive a knowing look from Clint that promised the archer would fulfill his threat should Steve push him for any reason. Releasing a sigh, Steve shoved his hand through his hair before he told Clint

“Not accusing, usually asking what I’m doing. People I know whose opinions are important pointing out that I’ve made mistakes or chastising me about how I’ve acted.” Steve had watched Clint nod before the archer asked

“Sleep?” Steve laughed bitterly before he said

“You think if I could sleep I’d spend my time in here trying to punch my demons into submission?” He had watched Clint frown before the archer said

“Can’t say. Apparently, I don’t know all that much about you.” Steve winced, there were those mistakes of his slapping him in the face. He looked down at the floor, examining the wood grain like his life depending on it. Steve wanted them to know to him, to know his likes and dislikes, to learn how Steve ordered his food or his beer. He wanted to know them in return but every time he started making tentative overtures some world threatening even happened, and the anxiety and fear would rear its ugly head to whisper how it was coincidence, and he wasn’t supposed to know them, wasn’t meant to be there. 

They stayed like that for a long moment before his wrist was once more grabbed and the archer yanked him to his feet. Steve was impressed, he wasn’t a lightweight anymore. Once on his feet though his wrist wasn’t released and he was all but drug out of the gym.

Moments later he was forcefully shoved onto one of the stools at the breakfast bar while Clint was industriously pulling out milk, sugar, and chocolate. From the smell of it when Clint opened the package it top shelf stuff too. Steve just watched in awe as Clint fluidly, as if this was a well-practiced routine, moved through the motions of making hot chocolate. 

The mug being set down in front of him pulled him out of his daze, and his immediately picked it up. The ceramic was hot, hotter than was comfortable, but the heat felt so good against his fingers that he couldn’t bring himself to set it back down. He opened his mouth to say thanks, but Clint beat him to it saying

“Just listen, got it?” Steve nodded, he figured it was the least he could do, after everything he had put the archer through. Clint nodded before starting

“You all went your separate ways after seeing Loki and Thor off. Nat and I were hustled into the bowels of the Helicarrier for debriefing, well that’s what Fury called it and what Nat might have gone through but for me, it was code for lockdown and psych profile. They spent weeks taking scans of my brain and asking question after question after question. I let them up to a point, held my tongue on my frustration as best I could and hunkered down to wait it out. They couldn’t keep me forever. When they finally decided that there wasn’t anything wrong with me, it had been weeks. Fury wanted to send me back to the farm for some R and R but, well I wasn’t in a good place in my head, and when I get like that, I worry I’ll hurt someone accidentally. So I told Fury thanks, but no thanks send me on a mission.” 

Steve watched Clint pause to take a sip of his drink. The action reminding Steve he had his own cup. The smooth chocolate when Steve did sip his own slide down into his very soul and warmed him from the inside out. He could feel the muscles in his shoulders finally relaxing as he felt warm for the first time in months. The archer looked away into the darkness as he picked his narrative back up

“Fury came to me a little later and told me he had a mission. Very sensitive, no time constraints, no danger. Which wasn’t what I wanted at all but his only response was take it or go home. So I took it. Didn’t bother with the briefing packet because it was observation only. Apparently, they needed a second personality profile done on a consultant and wanted someone who wasn’t going to tip their hand or write the stupid thing before the mission even started. Why would it matter if I read the briefing packet for something like that?” 

Steve nodded, he could understand the logic behind Clint’s actions. Thought they were a bit careless, but the archer had already said his head hadn’t been in the right place, so Steve didn’t feel the need to point out that shortcoming. Besides, this was years ago. If it ever happened again, then Steve would have cause to say something. Clint took another sip and said

“You could have knocked me over with a feather when they set me down on the Stark landing pad and just left. Moments later I’ve got a dirty, grease covered genius who looks like he hasn’t slept in a week up in my face. Rambling on a mile a minute about how he’d done everything they asked him why couldn’t the one eyed bandit just leave him alone for once, he didn’t need a babysitter, he had Pepper. It was so ridiculous that I laughed and kept laughing as I was installed on a floor of the tower. Tony told me that I could do whatever I wanted in the space, just don’t move the walls and if I had issues with the art to let JARVIS know and Pepper would have new things installed.” 

Steve shook his head. He remembered his own floor in the Tower and the priceless works of art that had been tastefully and seemingly randomly placed throughout his floor. Except they had all been by artists he favored, there had even been several works which he had recognized having seen them on display in museums before the ice. 

“The first few days I don’t remember all that well. To hear Tony tell it though I slept, and slept-walked, most of them so I’m not particularly surprised. After that, I started being more aware of my surroundings. Which is when I noticed that the entire ‘guest’ floor was subtly done in colors I favored with the correct amount of open to closed space ratio to make a trained assassin feel comfortable. What I’m saying is that Tony had tailored that particular floor to me, having had all of three conversations with me and none of them covering personal topics.” 

Steve nodded at that too. He had noticed Tony’s ability to just know things. Steve had thought it was a mutation at first because it was uncanny how the genius would just know things. He later learned that Tony had set JARVIS to continually monitor the Avengers whenever in public spaces and to take note of any preferences.

“Tony did all these little things, all the time without asking or asking for anything. If I ended up in any kitchen in the Tower after a nightmare, I could guarantee that Tony would be there within ten minutes either with hot chocolate in hand or would start making it upon arrival. He wouldn’t let me say anything until it was done and in hand. I still wouldn’t have to say anything after that if I didn’t want to. The only answers I ever got to my questions about why the genius was up at oh my god it’s really that early in the morning were rambling explanations about this prototype or that modification or this new invention that was going to revolutionize this field or that. I ended up learning science speak out of self-defense. The moment that I brought up anything that was bothering me though Tony listened.” 

Steve couldn’t quite wrap his head around that, Tony Stark had never in all the time Steve had known him displayed that level of patience and consideration towards Steve, himself, but Steve had never shown up in the Tower kitchen after a nightmare either so that might have been the difference. Clint wasn’t done though so Steve kept his opinion to himself

“It because a habit, even after I sent in the updated personality profile. No matter what time, day or night. Regardless of where Tony was in the world, if it was reported to him that I was awake from a nightmare in the kitchen he would call or show up, and we would talk. After first about nothing, but as time went on I started trying to see how he’d respond to the topic of Loki and the brainwashing clusterfuck that had all turned into for me. He didn’t react Steve, at all. Just stood right where I’m standing and listened. Looked at me like he looked at his circuit boards and waited until I ran out of words. You’re probably wondering why I’m telling you all this. Well because I realized a little while back that sometimes asking for help is so insurmountable that you just can’t, and I’ve been there. I’m not as patient as Tony though so just tell me what’s going on, and we’ll see what can be done.” 

Steve shook his head. That was a lie, Clint was the most patient out of all of the Avengers when he needed to be with the ability to stay curled up for days in one place waiting for his shot. Steve could perhaps understand, though. Clint not working was not the same as Clint working. Shaking his head, Steve said

“I don’t even know where to start. I don’t even know where things started going wrong.” Clint nodded taking another drink of his chocolate before he answered Steve saying

“Well, the beginning is usually a good place.” That pulled another bitter laugh from Steve before he said

“That was a long time ago.” He only got a shrug before Clint said

“I’ve got time. My kids don’t get up for another four hours.” Steve opened his mouth but before he could say anything Phil shuffled into the room and mumbled still obviously asleep

“Anymore of that?” Clint nodded and turned to make a cup up for the director who Steve noted was looking very un-director like in flannel pajama pants and an army sweatshirt that had seen better days. Steve watched in vague amusement as Phil accepted the mug and only curled up around it with his head on the table. Raising an eyebrow at Clint, the archer just smirked and said

“You were going to tell me a bedtime story. A long one with all the good stuff.” Rolling his eyes, Steve said, a smile hovering around the corners of his mouth

“I guess everything started when Bucky came home from working saying he’d decided to join the army. I decided right then and there that I was going to join alongside him. Except with all my medical issues, there wasn’t a recruitment office that would take me. Every single last one of them said the same thing, I’m saving your life son. Then Bucky was shipping out, and I met Erskine, who changed everything. Suddenly I was as fit, or more fit than anyone they were sending overseas and I was just… I was stuck in tights.” 

He expected one of them to laugh. Looking up he saw that Clint didn’t look concerned, and Phil seemed to be asleep again. Curled protectively around the mug of hot chocolate. Clint shrugged and said

“I was a carnie for four years before deciding that the life of the assassin was a better deal. I know all about tights and quite a bit about other things I’d rather not.” Steve nodded, absently wondering what a carnie was and why it had anything to do with tights. He shrugged back before he said

“I toured the US selling war bonds, gained popularity and then the senator that was running the show made a mistake. He sent the act overseas where I got word that the 107th, Bucky’s unit, was MIA taken a hostage with an unknown presumably dead status. I went AWOL so fast their heads are still spinning. Found Bucky in a lab of sorts with a lot of empty needles beside him. I was so scared he was dead that I about fainted from shock when he started rattling off his serial number, name, and rank. All I could think about was getting him to safety. It was finally my turn to protect Bucky.” 

Steve swallowed past the lump in his throat. Bucky was still painful to talk about especially those first few moments after finding him on Zola’s table. Taking a drink of his now almost cold chocolate Steve mentally moved on before saying

“Things were great for a few weeks after that. Bucky was with me, we were taking down HYDRA everything should have been perfect. Except there was something in Bucky, some anger that I couldn’t reach that was eating him alive. You could see it every time we went out against HYDRA forces, a rage that made him a vicious, uncaring killer. I thought it was just a phase, and it seemed like it as the days went by. The anger lessened, and he started joking more. There were still little things that threw me off. Whenever we got leave we’d go out together but in the past, he would have flirted and caroused with a dame or two, afterward he just, it was like he didn’t see them anymore. They all saw him but, it wasn’t the same. He wouldn’t drink more than a single glass of anything no matter how hard the rest of the guys pressured him. But before I could find a way through to him, to get him to talk to me like he would have done with a problem bugging him before everything there was the train, and Bucky fell. Sometimes in my dreams, there is this look of relief on his face, like he’s finally about to be done with the torment.” 

Steve shook his head and when he met Clint’s glance it was calm and steady. There was no judgment or derision. Steve looked away, he didn’t deserve having that kind of look directed at him, and not after everything he had pulled. 

“It was just a few days later that I put Schmidt’s plane into the arctic ice. In my dreams, I can remember almost waking up a few times, in cased and unable to breathe the sound of cracking glass and running water all around me. But the moments were so fleeting I couldn’t tell you if it happened or if it’s just an overactive imagination.” Phil spoke up from his doze

“Those are likely viable memories. You were mumbling ‘not, again please not again’ as you thawed out. It was theorized that global warming was causing the ice cap you were to thaw out just enough for you to warm up enough for brain function to restart but shut down immediately when you couldn’t get enough breath.” He caught a nod out of the corner of his eye from Clint before he was gestured to continue

“The next memories I consciously have are the fake hospital. It fucking haunts me all the time. Everything right, but everything wrong. I question myself after waking up every morning, is this another trick?” 

There was an indecipherable noise from his right before Phil mumbled

“I told Fury that was a dick move and would have far reaching consequences. I told him not to pull that shit. I said we didn’t know enough to get close anywhere to a right scene not to screw it up. I am going to _shoot_ that man if I ever see him again.” 

A strangled noise from the other side of the breakfast bar made him look up sharply to see Clint trying not to laugh, fist in his mouth teeth dug into a knuckle. It didn’t seem to be helping and, the honest reaction soothed his irrational worries that they would find him wanting for the fear. Shaking his head amusement under control Clint said

“It took me weeks to be ok with Tony’s holograms because they were the same blue as the mind stone’s presence in my head when it had me. On really bad days I still have issues where I can’t go into his labs. It might not be rational but, it’s still valid.” Steve nodded and said

“I was afraid to go to sleep after that, and when I tried little things would keep me awake. The smells weren’t right, the bedding too soft, the noise was all wrong. I think I slept more on the floor of that apartment they set me up in than in the bed.” Clint nodded again before Phil said

“Very typical response after coming back from a war zone, no matter what war zone it was, sleeping on legitimate mattresses in anything less than full gear tells the brain it can’t sleep yet you aren’t safe. So you don’t sleep. Happened to me when I got back from Desert Storm, the second one.” Clint piped up and said

“I had similar problems in coming back from Afghanistan after my unofficial involvement in Operation Enduring Freedom.” Clint continued answering Steve’s unasked question, “SHIELD loaned me out to the Army. I was, um, backstage wet works of an up-close and personal nature.”

Steve raised an eyebrow and asked tone careful

“Which means?” He got a grin for his efforts before Clint said

“My job was to eliminate Afghani Al Qaeda heads as messily as possible while simultaneously leaving no trace of who killed them.” Steve nodded, he didn’t know how he felt about how cavalier Clint always was about the fact he killed people for a living. Steve had issues with preventative action, it always felt like trying to stop something before it even started. Shaking his head, Steve said

“After that, things made sense for a little while, right and wrong were seemingly transparent. SHIELD was the good guys and, they were taking out bad guys. I was finally getting settled and felt like I was coming to terms with this new shiny world and suddenly SHIELD was the bad guys too. Bring it all down was necessary. Getting Fury out of power was needed. Exposing HYDRA to the world was needed. But I learned something about the people I held in such high regard that made me wonder if there was actually anyone in the world who was actually a decent person. Peggy had authorized a secret bunker in which Zola had copied his brain onto magnetic tape, Howard helped bomb the fuck out of a lot of innocent people just trying to live their lives. Howard, again, restarted the super soldier program and was killed for it.” Shivering he held the mug of cold hot, chocolate closer as he continued, lost in memories

“HYDRA via SHIELD had turned my oldest friend into a mindless killing machine. It was horrifying. I could barely wrap my head around it. How could I find the words to explain to one of the people I held in the highest regard since coming out of the ice that his parents didn’t die in a car accident but actually it was murder, and it had been HYDRA and Bucky had been the hand on the trigger? Then there was that video, the picture so crisp and not a single ounce of interference in the audio. Hearing Howard call out Bucky’s name and just being gutted. I didn’t want to believe it. The Bucky I knew wouldn’t have done that, ever, and there was Tony asking if I’d known, knowing the exact moment I tried to deny any knowledge. I hadn’t actually known because I hadn’t gone looking because I didn’t want to know. Tony had been so furious, it’s like he had snapped and anything that was the friend I knew was just gone. To make matter worse, Bucky had made sure to own up to the killing. And God, I’ve never seen anyone so angry before, except I’ve seen him fight, Isaw the footage of him battles in the suit and he didn’t actually fight back. But once we were started it was like a switch flipped in my head and, suddenly I couldn’t stop. We couldn’t stop.” Steve was shaking, he could feel it. He didn’t look up from where he was staring at the counter, though, just kept talking

“I disabled the suit, and Tony was still talking as we walked out so I figure we didn’t do too much actual damage. T’Challa was there waiting for us, saying he had Zemo and offered us a ride. It was during that ride that he briefed me on my wanted status and the kill order that had been given. I floundered for a long time. I had been sure it was just bravado, that Tony was just making things up to get me to sign the Accords. Who would turn against Captain America? Tony was right, though, I wasn’t worthy of the shield anymore. Then I find out that everyone else is in the RAFT and, somehow I had blueprints with secret tunnels and doors which opened to my SHIELD access code. So I tried to apologize to Tony because he’s the only one I know who would have had those plans and risked everything like that but it’s been pointed out several times that my apology was less than sincere and wasn’t accepted anyways. Ever since that point, it feels like everything I touch is destroyed in my hands, crumbling to ash before I’ve even had a chance to figure out the right thing. I don’t have a clue where to plant my feet and say enough is enough.” Phil piped up from his sprawl saying

“Just this really. Reaching out, admitting you fucked up, and asking mentors and friends for help.” Steve looked to Phil and asked sarcastically

“Just like that? No repercussions?” There was a grin on Phil’s face as he opened one eye to look at Steve before he said

“Well, it has been almost a year. I wasn’t involved, I’m not an Avenger, which makes me a relatively impartial third party. Granted, I would have told you, you’d made a mess of things and that the first thing to do would be to apologize and get your team under control. But you’re my responsibility Captain, not the other way around, and besides; I outrank you.” Steve scoffed before he could think about it and Phil raised his head and said

“Oh yes, I outrank you by quite a bit. I’ve got a full bird to your two bars, honorably earned in combat zones the worldwide, two Purple Hearts, one Silver Star and the Army Distinguished Service Cross for services unmentionable. It makes your insubordination doubly amusing because there is no conceivable way that you have any choice in following the orders I give.” 

The door to the kitchen opened just then and in stumbled Tony. Steve watched in fond amusement as Clint’s expression immediately softened as the genius shuffled over to lean against the archer. Clint’s amused question 

“Have you slept at all yet?” Got the petulant response of

“Nutun, can’t, the code needs work still. Just stopping for coffee.” 

If Steve hadn’t been watching he would have missed Clint press his lips against the genius’s temple before saying

“You’ve got to sleep, though, or you’ll have to debug your debugging.” 

Steve could interpret the noise the genius made in response but, it was obviously one Clint was well versed in as the archer chuckled and said  
“I’ll give you a deal, if you’re still awake after a cup of hot chocolate I’ll make coffee and, you can get back to it. Sound fair?” 

Steve wondered what the archer was up too as he got a nudge to his elbow. That was a terrible deal, though it seemed as if Clint was offering a standard option to Tony. Turning he saw Phil watching him carefully before the man said

“Cute aren’t they, almost sickeningly sweet.” Steve had to nod before the actions and, Phil’s statement came together and, he got it. Clint and Tony were sweet on each other, maybe dating. He knew it was a thing, and that it was legal, but homosexuality hadn’t been something he had been required to deal with before. Steve was aware that it existed, even back in the forties and earlier, but this was the first display Steve was bearing witness to where the people matter, where Steve knew them. Looking back at the two of them it was obvious now that he had all the clues to put together, and Phil was right, they were adorable. Steve didn’t quite know how Steve felt about that, about two men being so loving except it had never bothered him with Bucky had done those very same things for Steve. The little look on Clint’s face as he held the genius up right as they conversed quietly about some computer something. All he could think of to respond to Phil with was 

“Huh.” He’d thought their relationship was like him and Bucky. Friends who were like brothers but looking at them and comparing actions and faces to what he remembered suddenly he groaned and put his head in his hands. Mentally calling himself all kinds of an idiot. Tony’s voice asking

“When did you get here? Should I leave? I should leave. We aren’t speaking.” To which Clint promptly replied

“No, Tony. You promised you’d drink you hot chocolate here, and I promise nothing will happen while you do it, ok?” Steve looked up and saw Tony hesitate before the genius asked

“No funny business with the fists and the shield?” Clint’s voice was soft and sincere when he said

“No funny business at all.” It got him a pout before the genius said  
“I’ll hold you to that, Barton. See that I don’t.” to Steve Tony said, "We still aren't speaking."

Steve observed the fond little smile that appeared and knew its twin from memories long past. Bucky used to give him that smile whenever Steve did anything for Bucky. Steve groaned again and banged his head on the table twice before strong hands pulled him up by his shoulders, and Phil said

“Stop moaning and use actual words. Problems don’t get fixed with violence.” Steve ignored Tony’s

“Yeah, Capsicle. Can’t just punch your way out of everything, sometimes you gotta caveman up and use tools.” 

Swiveling in his seat he turned his entire attention to Phil, attempting to block out the noticeably exhausted and delusional genius as he said

“I just-just realized that a lot of what I thought was just brotherly affection might not have been and that maybe I am as dense as the world believes.” He ignored another of Tony’s peanut gallery comments 

“There’s no might about it, you really are that dense. What? Don’t pinch lover bunny, it’s true.” He kept himself turned towards Phil and did his absolute best not to smile at the put upon sigh that came from the archer in response to the pet name. Steve figured as those things go, from Tony Stark that was almost tame and mostly kid-friendly. Clint’s reply said that the archer thought so too

“Stop picking fights you’re way too far past bedtime to win.” There was a bit of grumbling as Steve took a drink of his now stone cold beverage and Phil leveled an unimpressed glare across the breakfast bar. It felt like the start of something good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next comes breakfast and a little public heart to heart from Brucie-bear, whose not so cuddly. 
> 
> If it wasn't clear the memory voices in Steve's head appear in the following order:  
> Sarah Rogers  
> Peggy Carter  
> Bucky Barnes  
> Tony Stark  
> Howard Stark  
> Sarah Rogers, again  
> Bucky Barnes, again  
> Peggy Carter, again  
> Howard Stark, again


	8. Picking the Costumes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce makes a stand, Clint has a long overdue conversation that goes nowhere, Tony tries to run away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So first, a continued thank you for all the comments! 
> 
> Next, this one is a little shorter than most of the rest have been recently so sorry. I'd like to say that the next chapter will be long to make up for it but really it's going to be long because there are a bunch of things I want to get in there. It is already laid out, started and a part has been sent off for review so never fear it's coming. I'm very excited about this next one!
> 
> Finally, I'm slightly disappointed. I didn't manage to ruin the little Steve/Sharon thing I've got going. I'm going to though, because I can.
> 
> ~*(^.=.^)*~ is still for a time lapse  
> ~*~ is still for a POV change

Mornings were never his strong suit, especially mornings where he hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before. Clint would never complain, though, Tony had fallen asleep propped against his shoulder much to his delight. It had been a bit of a challenge to get the genius to move over to one of the couches, but Clint had managed it about four. He had been watching Tony sleep for several hours at this point listening with half an ear to the conversation Steve was having with Phil. If he heard correctly, it sounded like the what if training that Clint hated with a passion. What if you changed this decision how do you think events would have turned out? That sort of thinking was the quickest way to light his temper off. Choices had been made, and decisions had been decided. There was no use in looking backward; it couldn’t be changed. Phil would have argued that looking behind could teach about the future and Clint could see it; he just hated the practice.

The coffee pot had turned on at five filling the space with the smell. Clint had been worried for half a second that it would wake Tony up, but the genius had slept right through it. Glancing over every few minutes gave him a good picture of Tony’s hair, the rest of him hidden under the blanket Clint had covered him with and the throw pillows that had mysteriously made their home at either end of the couch. 

Breakfast had just started being a thought when the door to the room opened, and Bruce Banner walked in. Clint could tell from the look on the scientist’s face that whatever had kept the man awake through the night it hadn’t been pleasing. Clint paused in his ministrations of gathering supplies for pancakes, simple, easy fair he could make hundreds of without actually thinking when he caught sight of the green in Bruce’s eyes. He shared a look with Phil and some of the tension leaked out of his frame when he saw that Phil had noticed the same cue’s Clint had. 

Watching Bruce move Clint was reminded, as if he needed the reminder, that inside of Bruce lurked an eight-foot-tall rage monster. The man moved with a fluidity that was unusual in most civilians, with loose arms and balled fists. Turning around Clint leaned against the stove to watch. 

Clint could tell that the smooth, easy gait that Bruce was using wasn’t natural, that the movement as Bruce settled both hands against the granite was calculated. As it was Clint was not expecting Bruce to bow his head and say

“It’s good that you all are here. Cause I’ve got something to say and I’d like not to make a mess in the process.” Clint shot Phil another look, this one more panicked. Tony was still asleep on the couch, and his kids were due to arrive at any moment demanding their morning sustenance. 

“Don’t Bruce, just let it go.” Clint’s head jerked in surprise at the sound of Tony’s voice. The genius had gotten up and come around to the back of the couch he had been sleeping on and was now leaned against it with his arms crossed defensively across his chest. Turning back to Bruce, Clint wasn’t surprised to see the tension in the shoulders presented to him. He was surprised though when Bruce responded

“You asked me once if I rolled over and showed my belly every time someone snarled. That stuck with me, you know? Got me thinking. So, this time, Tony, I’m not rolling over. This is important.”

Clint watched as Bruce shifted his hands to grip at the counter before he looked at Steve and voice quietly angry, said 

“It was recently brought to my attention that a very dear friend of mine suffered a severe life threatening injury. So I spent a good portion of the hours between that confession and this meeting conferring with doctors and specialists. Reviewing the most disturbing set of x-rays I’ve ever seen.” Clint watched as Bruce bowed his head and took several deep breaths, obviously fighting for control of his emotions. Clint could see the green tinge to Bruce’s skin as the doctor continued, starting in a different place

“When I was abroad this last time I wrote four hundred and sixty-three postcards. Seventy-five percent of those were attempts at apologizing for the pain that I had caused through my actions. But you know what Steve, the pain that I caused was minor compared to the utter destruction you left in your wake. You see, I _know_ what happened in Siberia. I am probably the _only_ person in this entire organization who has the friends, and contacts, to get the big picture on that snafu. So I’m only going to say this once: if I ever find out you lost control like that against someone that I care about again, I promise you that there will be nowhere on this planet where you’ll be able to hide from me. And when I find you I will rip you apart and beat you with the pieces until all that’s left is a little smear of red.” 

Clint wanted to cough so badly, even if it was only to break the awkward stillness that had settled over the kitchen. No one had ever heard Bruce of all people threaten violence against anything or anyone. It was a chilling experience. Phil, voice soft and gentle like he was soothing a traumatized child, was the first to break the silence asking

“What happened?” Clint watched Phil look between the three men in question and followed his gaze. Tony had wrapped his arms tight around himself, knuckles gripping his arms so hard they were white and would likely leave bruises. Steve looked like he couldn’t breathe. And Bruce had gone back to staring at the counter taking slow, even, measured breaths. Collectively they waited. Clint didn’t know what would happen if someone didn’t start talking to answer Phil’s question. Eyes bouncing between the three men in question Clint waited, suppressing the need to fidget, or to open his mouth and make an ill-timed remark about hiding zucchini. This wasn’t the time for him to screw things up. Finally, Bruce raised his head once more, and Clint caught the sight of a tiny self-deprecating smirk gracing the scientist’s face before he said

“The mark forty chest piece of the Iron Man suit, and subsequent later models was specially engineered by myself and JARVIS to withstand and divert crushing blows to the chest. It was a well-established fact with the doctors in charge of Tony’s healthcare that his thoracic cage, the rib cage, was the most unstable part of him due to the trauma that was the arc reactor. Even with it gone the cage was still much more fragile than anyone was lead to believe and I respected that decision. I’m not a certified medical professional, and it wasn’t my choice to make. I take exception though when the people I trusted in my absence actively attempt to thwart my deliberate efforts of ensuring that Tony Stark remains alive to captivate and delight the world as a whole.” 

Clint’s breath froze in his chest as his mind kicked into overdrive. The last words he could have ever said to Tony wouldn’t have been a silly conversation about debugging. They would have been venom filled words of accusation that were so far out of line that Clint hadn’t been able to see the line for weeks afterward and had needed Laura’s wake-up call even to realize how stupid he had been. If Bruce were that mad he was nearly hulking out over it, Tony would have been damn near dead when he managed to get medical assistance. His eyes snapped over to Tony, who was still leaned against the couch; arms folded tight. Clint was moving, tuning out the conversation between Bruce and Phil on the details. Slipping around the breakfast bar he slowly approached Tony, wary of sparking the panic attack he knew had to be lurking just below the surface. Once close enough he held out a hand, just as he had done a mere few hours prior and waited. 

It didn’t take long for brown eyes to be raised up to meet Clint’s own. In them, Clint could read the torment that was still haunting the genius. Clint didn’t move, though, just gave a small half smile and continued to hold his hand out. Tony would come to him or not, but it would be the genius’s choice to make about whether or not Clint would be permitted to try and comfort. Things between them were so new, and fragile Clint refused to push in where he wasn’t wanted or needed. He didn’t want Tony to get the idea that Clint would invade his space when he was obviously upset whether the genius wanted him there or not. That was a good way to ruin what they had started before it even began. 

Clint was about to step back when a hand slides into his own. Releasing the pent up breath he hadn’t realized he was holding Clint gently pulled Tony forward so he could wrap his arms around the genius. Strong hands tangled in his shirt like they had the day before after the fight in the server room and the soft mop of wavy brown hair was tucked under his chin. Closing his eyes, Clint revealed in the knowledge that Tony hadn’t died, that Tony was standing there in Clint’s arms. It was too early for declarations love, but Clint’s heart clenched painfully at the thought of never seeing the genius again, of never talking programming or children or trajectory trigonometry ever again. There was a sick sensation in the pit of his stomach that plummeted at the possibility of never getting the experience of holding Tony close and safe in his arms. Pulling the genius as close as possible Clint whispered into Tony’s hair

“I’m so glad you’re alright.” 

Clint loosed his hold when Tony squirmed slightly, shifting around so their eyes could meet before Tony stated

“Always.”

Clint assumed that there was an issue at hand that should probably be addressed because it was clear that Tony wasn’t nearly as okay with the entire situation as he wanted the world to believe. Before he could entice Tony into a more private location, because Clint was sure that whatever poisonous thoughts had been lurking just below the surface since at least the Siberia incident would be difficult for both of them, there was a tug on his pant leg. Turning his head, he looked down into his daughter’s eyes and suppressed a sigh. She smiled up at him before asking

“Breakfast, Dad?” Nodding, he pressed a kiss to Tony’s hair before saying

“Stay? At least through breakfast?” The negative response didn’t surprise him, nor did the statement

“I really can’t, I’ve got to get back to debugging.” Clint nodded and stepped back, standing conveniently in between the genius and the men at the breakfast bar as Tony made good on his escape. Looking down at his daughter when Tony was gone he said

“Relationships are hard and let’s make pancakes for breakfast.” Her resulting grin almost made up for the fact that he now knew Steve Rogers almost killed one of his loved ones.

~*(^.=.^)*~

He hadn’t seen Tony since before breakfast, and his access to the observation deck had been rescinded. Clint wasn’t entirely sure what that meant but figured that he could give the genius some time to get his head screwed on straight again. When he still couldn’t get into Tony at lunch, he decided that if the genius still hadn’t made an appearance by dinner, Clint would offer the same bribe as the night before, dinner alone in a space controlled by Clint. 

That afternoon, when Laura had taken the kids for homeschooling, Clint decided that it might have been long past the time for a conversation with Natasha. Clint knew her routine, knew where she would be in the afternoon as long as she thought she was alone and unobserved. Unfortunately for Natasha, the range was Clint’s stomping grounds, and there wasn’t a secret the room hadn’t given up to his meticulous inspection. It was easy to maneuver his way up on to the rafters that ran just a few feet down from the ceiling that had just enough width for him to walk on. From there it was child’s play to wiggle into one of the little spaces in between the sound suppressors that lined the back wall in panels three feet wide by four feet long. They created just the right amount of shadowed space that Clint would be all but invisible to anyone but the keenest eyed. Natasha had been enhanced by the Red room, but Clint knew how to beat her. Once perched Clint settled in to wait. 

It didn’t take long before Natasha entered the room and did a cursory sweep of the space; never once looking up. If he could move his head far enough in the small space, Clint would have shaken his head. She never learned, lurking above her natural line of sight had given him the advantage he had needed the first time he had confronted her all those years prior. 

He waited, as patient as the sniper he was, for Natasha to relax and get into the groove of her practice shots. Clint made an absent note that her aim had gotten worse since the last time he had watched her shoot before he slowly, centimeter by centimeter crept out of his hole. He timed his drop to align perfectly with one of her shots to mask any noise his feet might make hitting the ground. His knife was out and pressed against her throat before she’d even had a chance to turn while his free arm pinned both her arms to her sides. His hold tightened as she tried to fight his hold before she went limp and asked

“Here to finish the job you started?” Clint chuckled, aware that it was a dark, menacing sound before he said

“Not today little spider. But I am here to get a few answers. Let’s start with why you dipped in the middle of the game? I trusted you with Tony’s safety.” He felt her stiffen before she said

“You wouldn’t understand.” Clint smirked as he let his blade nick her throat and challenged

“Try me.” Her little noise of protest quickly turned into a gasp of pain as he once more tightened his hold. He waited until she gasped out before loosening his grip slightly

“I was scared; I got word Ross was coming for me, and I was afraid. I tried Clint; I tried to keep him safe, keep them safe but I’m not you.” He nodded and let her out of his hold before he said

“Except you called me to start that shit, and then you bailed before seeing in through. So since you couldn’t, why didn’t you call someone who could?” She shook her head and said

“Who was I going to call? Who else should I have called to sacrifice their life and livelihood on the altar of the Accords?” Clint sneered and said

“If you couldn’t handle the heat, you shouldn’t have gotten in the game. You knew what would happen when you started this. Playing both sides of a game is idiotic, and we’ve never done it well enough to pull it off. Why was it worth it this time Nat? Why’d you risk ruining everything this time?” He watched her look away and grabbed her chin forcing her to look at him. For all her training she had always been the softer of the two of them. The one who was more likely to empathize with a target, the one more likely to fall for a sob story. He waited, glaring at her face until she met his eyes before he asked 

“Did you know about the threats to my family?” Her head shake was immediate before she said

“No, I wouldn’t have called if I knew just to be safe. I would have signaled you somehow to let you know to go to ground. I would never risk their safety, not even at the threat of my own.” He had nodded before he asked

“Why did you let Steve go then? Why did you double cross Tony?” Her return look was as hard as he’d ever gotten from her before she snapped

“I get it, okay? I’ve got another red line in my ledger that needs atonement. How I walked away was crappy as hell. I was angry, I was frustrated, and I was injured. There Tony was miserable and smug telling me they were coming for me. What would you have done?” Clint stared at her and said

“In your shoes? I wouldn’t have left my family to fend for itself. I wouldn’t have let Steve go, and I would have directed Tony to start figuring out why the lot of us had been put in the RAFT; unless you didn’t know about that?” The way her cheeks colored told him she hadn’t known. Clint had sighed before he said

“How can I trust you Nat, when I trusted you to keep half this family safe, and Rhodes almost died, Tony almost died, you damn near took a header to a shipping container and damn near everyone else, but Steve, ended up in the RAFT for the enjoyment of Ross.” She had glared at him before she said

“None of this was my choice, Clint. I signed the Accords; I agreed to be monitored and held accountable. I didn’t tell Steve to jump off the cliff of insanity and tell a hundred and seventeen countries to screw themselves. Admittedly I also didn’t try very hard to get him to sign when I went to see him but he’d just buried Peggy Carter. I caught up with him at her funeral. That was the last calm moment I had gotten before I walked out of the compound.” Clint immediately snapped back with

“Doesn’t change the fact that you’re still the same old Natasha. If it doesn't fall to favor; run away. You ever gonna to trust anything enough to fight for it? Even if it’s a losing fight?” He could tell she didn’t have an answer for him, which was fine. He was done listening to her. He’d be the first to admit that his side of things had caused the bigger overall mess. But mistakes had been made on both sides, and it was about time everyone started fessing up to those choices.

~*~

The observation deck was dark and soothing. All cool blues and shining holographs. The code was shining forth under his fingertips nearly as familiar as his face. It didn’t change the fact that Phil and Clint had been made aware of just how close things had gotten to a permanent solution to the fighting. There were days when he thought that might have been a better solution. It was the thought that had been one of the deciding factors when he had moved himself and his responsibilities to the opposite side of the country. He would have gone farther, leaving the country altogether, but Pepper had put her foot down and informed him that she would not be required to locate her passport just because she needed something signed in person. 

He was almost finished, just a few more corrections and he could collect the goon squad. They could depart back to California and get out of everyone’s hair. Yinsen and Opiekun would ensure the protection of the Avengers and families. Tony, himself, would have access to all the Compound’s system through Yinsen and would be able to monitor the Avengers through their endeavors. To make sure they didn’t die. He didn’t want them dead.

The so-called conversation in the kitchen that morning had rattled him. Tony couldn’t figure out why Bruce would stand up for him of all people. Tony knew he was wrong. Knew that how the Accords had been handled had almost guaranteed that there would be fighting between him and Steve. Granted Tony hadn’t thought it would be a literal fist fight. Sometimes life was unpredictable like that. Being the only one standing on his soap box at the end of the day was pretty much expected at this point and was slowly becoming the story of his life since Afghanistan. He pushed those thoughts from his mind and allowed the repetitive actions of checking code lull him into a trance.

~*(^.=.^)*~

Returning to the real world after getting lost in the code for the AI’s was a bit like waking up from a pleasant dream. Tony was warm and relaxed in ways that never happened to him anymore except when coding. Even just running through every line of code for two separate Artificial Intelligences produced the comfortable content feeling of accomplishment. The final rendering of the self-checks had started running, and as soon as those were finished, he would collect this goon squad and slip out the back, figuratively. Escaping the anxiety and stress of dealing with the Avengers by returning to where he belonged. 

Tony spared half a thought for Clint and the relationship that he would ruin before it ever went anywhere. He didn’t deserve nice things; he ruined nice things. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin Clint.

The chime that indicated successful self-checks rang throughout the room. Tony sighed and said

“Yinsen, notify the Goon Squad Alice would like to exit the rabbit hole and return home. I’ll meet them out front in five.” Tony had to give the AI credit when Yinsen said

“Stark, it would behoove you to at least provide a farewell statement before your departure. This would be the civil and courteous action.” Snorting as he returned the postcards Bruce had given him to their box Tony said

“When have I ever been civil or courteous honey bee? Just let the goons know we’re blowing this popsicle stand. They’ll take care of everything else.” In the poignant silence that followed his statement, Tony winced. Yinsen was distinctly displeased with his decision; still, the AI made no further protests to his plan to figuratively sneak out the back door. 

Slipping out of the observation deck was easy when you were holed up in the one place that could see everywhere in the Compound. Not running into anyone after that was a success of epic proportions. Tony had just placed the postcards in the SUV and was about to climb in when a voice said

“Running away? I thought I warranted at least a goodbye.” Hunching over, bowing his head and closing his eyes he let out a silent breath before straightening and turning to face the archer. He tried for a smile, but couldn’t bring one up. He watched Clint shake his head before the archer moved towards him saying

“Idiot, I’m not stopping you from leaving.” And with that calloused hands cupped his jaw before lips met his own. Eyes sliding closed automatically Tony reached up and gently grabbed Clint’s wrists holding the archer to him as he deepened the kiss. When they pulled back, Tony could clearly see the desire Clint held for him in the dilated pupils and the gentle blush which stained the archer’s cheeks. Tony had been right; it was a good look on Clint. 

Watching as Clint stepped back and rubbed the back of his neck before saying

“So, um, don’t be a stranger and let me know you landed safely?” A slow, fond smile slide the corners of his mouth upwards before Tony took a half step forward and planted a kiss on Clint’s cheek before responding

“You got it, birdbrain.” He watched Clint nod before he moved back and got in the SUV. Leaving didn’t seem quite so much like running away now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm considering taking a creative license with Tony and a tattoo, feel free to weight your opinions in on that item. 
> 
> Also! Super excited, I have the villain chosen! Yay me!
> 
> Next chapter will see new tags added, so keep an eye out for those and I hope they won't drive anyone away.
> 
> Shout Out:  
> KumoNoHito: I finally got to the Natasha&Clint confrontation you asked to see and I think it turned out pretty well.  
> DT Maxwell (Draya), AmbitiousWitch, Constnce_Truggle, and icis182: I hope you all enjoyed Bruce!


	9. Fitting the Costumes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAND-WAVY SCIENCE!!!! It's pretty disturbing imagery. Ye have been WARNED!!!!
> 
> Added tags, up'd the rating and what not to be safe. If anyone thinks I should add an additional tag let me know, the rating stands though. 
> 
> Thank you all for your comments and suggestions! I do use them! So if there is something in particular that you would like to see, let me know. The worst I can do is say no and then you have the beginning of your own fiction. :D
> 
> ~*~ = POV change  
> ~*(^.=.^)*~ = Time lapse

When the unexpected disrupted his life, Phil took solace in the repetitive to sooth his chaotic mind. The conditioned steps of folding laundry offered distinct patterns and systems which soothed his brain into peace. Allowed him to process through the often shocking and frequently horrifying aspects of his job with SHIELD. The repetition of the action allowed him the distance he needed to think through to find the solution on the other side of a disturbing situation. 

Except this time, it didn’t matter how many articles of clothing he folded he couldn’t find the emotional distance that he needed to work with the men in question. 

This time, Steve Rogers had lost control, and Tony Stark had damn near paid the price for it. 

Phil wasn’t naïve; he knew that there had been extenuating circumstances for both parties. That didn’t change the facts of the matter. Before that morning he would have argued that there was no way anyone knew the whole truth of the matter. Well, no one but those involved and they were proving to be stubborn about divulging the details. 

Phil now knew why. He knew why Tony had ended up with the shield. He knew why Iron Man had resigned and why Tony had refused even to consider a trip to the compound without Phil’s guarantee that the Avengers and specifically Steve Rogers be kept out of the loop and as far away as possible. There was video proof of why Tony Stark was a traumatized mess of a man when it came to the Avengers.

Bruce had officially become his replacement superhero. Somehow the nomad physicist had managed, in less than twelve hours, to acquire a set of Tony Stark chest x-rays, contact all of his doctors and specialists to verify the diagnosis and get his hands on both of Zemo’s videos. Phil had seen the first one, which had been hidden under some seriously heavy encryption in the SHIELD slash HYDRA data dump. The second one had nearly had Phil throwing his stapler across his office. 

Steve Rogers had been his lifelong hero. The man who was Captain America. The man who had inspired Phil to join the army, to excel beyond any and all expectations, to be bigger and better than real life. To see Tony’s reaction to the video of his parents and then watch Steve Rogers’ attempt a subterfuge regarding it had been enraging and painful. He couldn’t believe he could even think it, but Tony Stark had been more right than Phil thought anyone knew when he had stated that Steve didn’t deserve the shield. 

Learning the shortcomings of his idol didn’t change the fact that it was now Phil’s job to transform the Avengers into something reputable. He didn’t have a clue how he was going to go about managing it. Not with an unknown number of copies of that video lurking around the world just waiting to be unveiled at the right moment. Not with some unknown mastermind still on the loose. 

The entire situation on his hands was an absolute mess, and SHIELD didn’t have a single contact willing to talk about it. Who was Zemo’s puppet master? Was it Ross or was there someone else even above the former Secretary of State? What idiot thought that it was a smart idea to attack the Avengers Compound in the middle of the day? Was someone after Tony? Or were they after the Avengers? 

Their prisoners had only said in their various languages that they had been sent for the Artificial Intelligence. Phil hadn’t been able to determine if they had been after FRIDAY or Yinsen. All he had were questions when he needed answers.

In a fit of furious rage, he grabbed a pair of balled socks and pitched them as hard as he could at the wall. 

~*~

Steve didn’t retreat to the gym, anyone who was looking for him would go there first. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with the reactions of the Avengers over the events in Siberia. Through his shame, Steve had managed to keep the majority of the details away from them. It didn’t take a genius like Tony to guess what their reactions were going to be when they caught sight of just how far he had fallen in that one single moment.

Settling on the roof with his back pressed against what he had initially assumed was an HVAC unit which had turned out to be the storage location for a miniaturized rail gun. Steve looked out over the space in between the building of the compound and the tree line that surrounded them on three sides. It was still early enough that there were a few white-tailed deer meandering around in the trees. 

Steve didn’t pay them any mind, even though as a city boy he was always fascinated with wildlife of any sort. This morning he just rested his head in his hands and wondered how this had become his life. The slow burn simmering rage in Bruce’s eyes and the horrified disappointed look of Phil’s had been difficult to face. To witness the heart touching moment between Clint and Tony had hit him harder than anything else. The little-whispered comment he had overheard had ripped at his heart. If Tony had died how much worse would everything be? He didn’t know but figured it was a safe bet that the tentative truce that had started to settle over the team would have been shattered never to be repaired. 

Listening as Bruce went over the x-rays and explained in excruciating detail about the amount of force that would have been needed to cause the damage done had nearly made him sick. He had known he was strong, but it was different to know something and to see the effect. When they had gotten to the theoretical side of the discussion Steve had attempted to get up and leave them to it. He hadn’t even been halfway out of his chair when he caught the look that he was getting from Phil. Steve didn’t even wait for the other man to tell him to sit back down, Steve just did it. 

He had started to feel like he was in shock about the time Bruce had begun explaining that his disabling blow would have only needed to have a few more ounces of pressure to have shattered the genius’s ribs. Steve had been spared listening to what would have happened if the genius’s ribs had shattered due to the presence of Lila. The little girl had been his savior right up until she had discovered that it had been Steve who had harmed her favorite Uncle so grievously. The kick Lila had nailed to his shin hadn’t even caused a bruise for the serum to erase. Her words as she called him a butt faced meanie had hit home hard. 

She was right; Steve knew it. He had been a butt faced meanie. Steve couldn’t remember the last time he hadn’t felt like he was disconnected from everything; felt like he belonged. He didn’t know how long he sat on the roof, but eventually, he stopped trying to smother himself with his hands and just stared up at the crystal clear blue sky. 

The gravel on top of the roof crunched after some unknown amount of time. A glance at the sun showed that he had spent most of the day in an unthinking haze of depression and disassociation. Steve turned his head on stiff muscles as he heard Natasha walking towards him. He tried to offer her a smile, but the gesture fell flat when he noticed the small trickle of blood running down from just under the right side of her chin.  
He frowned and asked

“What happened to you?” Her answering smile seemed frail as she wiped at the blood and replied

“I learned the price of being compromised and failing to hold up your end of a bargain.” Steve nodded not understanding what she was referring too but willing to let her be vague. It wasn’t like he had any moral high ground to call her on about keeping secrets from teammates. They had all been briefed on how that had turned out for him. Steve looked away as he waited for her to say something else. Instead, she just sat down beside him. They were quite for a long moment before she said

“Before SHIELD my file says I was KGB Red Room. Which was right to a point. I was Red Room, but the Red Room wasn’t KGB. The widows were just loaned out occasionally. When I was tiny they brought in this man with a metal arm.” Steve made a noise of shocked dismay but before he could say anything Natasha said

“Listen first, ask questions second.” Steve nodded. That had been one of the points that Phil had debriefed him. When they had all gotten back initially from Wakanda and their exile. Steve needed to listen more than he spoke, the Avengers would look to him better when he stopped trying to tell them how to live their lives and let them come to him. So he nodded and gestured for Natasha to continue

“He was perfect in the way that none of the other teachers managed. Lithe and graceful there seemed to be a cloud of darkness surrounding him. The man with the metal arm was all anyone could talk about after lights out that night. Each of us sure we could be chosen to be his apprentice. But he was also apathetic in that he had no loyalty to anyone who wasn’t his immediate handlers. He had been ordered to instruct the class of his choosing in the appropriate uses of a knife. For some reason, he chose my course. Walked in as if he owned the entire building and butchered my teacher. If I ever get the chance I’ll thank him for that; the teacher was a monster in the truest sense of the word.” 

Steve didn’t want to know these things about Bucky, didn’t want to know that his friend has spent seventy years killing for HYDRA. But Natasha wasn’t finished

“As the teacher was bleeding out on the floor he just turned and began instructing us instead. His handlers were furious when they came to collect him later. That was the moment I learned that even the most favored slave was still a slave.” Steve nodded at her and said

“Makes sense.” She shrugged and said

“I’m not telling this so you can understand where I am coming from, but maybe so you can understand that the Winter Soldier wasn’t an active choice that Bucky Barnes made, there were greatly extenuating circumstances which had gone into him succumbing. When you’re beaten, when you’re raped, when you’re given the choice of more and greater pain for resistance or relief for capitulation eventually the mind just gives in, gives up. Once the mind is broken that’s when the conditioning starts, the programming. They take out whatever they don’t like, overwrite it like a bad program on a computer, filling in the gaps with cold-hearted unfeeling servants. You know that in theory but you don’t get it, can’t understand it because you’ve never experienced that sort of helplessness. You’ve never experienced how the mind just shuts down the active thinking when you realize that no matter what you do you’re only going to be released when they are done. A lot of people attacked in these ways are crippled by the experience. Anyone attacked in such a manner their lives are forever changed. All we can do on the outside is protect them and shore them up as they learn to live with their new normal.” 

Steve looked away and asked, voice nearly petulant

“So what are you telling me?” He heard her sigh before she said

“Stop expecting Barnes to be the man he was before the war, before the Winter Soldier. Stop expecting the rest of us just to fall in line like good little soldiers. We all have failures we are processing, and everyone does that differently. You don’t get to tell us how long we get to be upset or out of sorts with each other and you. You don’t get to imply that we are taking things way out of proportion. I’m counting Tony Stark in all of that as well, by the way. Out of all of the Avengers, I think he might have been hurt the most by us. I have it on good authority that he is currently incapable of trusting us not to betray him, and I’m pretty sure he feels like he can’t spend any time in the same room as you or you’re going to try and finish what you started in Siberia.” Steve’s head snapped over to her sharply as he snapped 

“I wouldn’t. Whatever it is he thinks, I wouldn’t.” Because he was looking at her, he caught her calculating look as her eyes roamed over him before she offered an enigmatic smile and said

“Not even if Bucky Barnes was threatened?” Steve hesitated, and Natasha got a hard smile to her before she said

“That’s the problem there Steve, you’re so focused on Bucky Barnes you’ll sacrifice everyone and everything in your path to ensure that he comes home.” Steve opened his mouth to say something, anything in his defense but Natasha just held her hand up in a stop gesture before she said

“I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but Bucky Barnes isn’t going to save you from yourself. He isn’t going to give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning. You have to find those things for yourself. He can be one, but he can’t be the only reason.” Steve snapped his mouth shut and just nodded. They sat in silence for a long moment before Natasha got up and left him to his thoughts. 

~*~

Weeks had passed since he had attempted to sneak out of the Avenger Compound. Things had returned to the sleepy normal they had been before his visit. He kept in contact with Clint, this time through video conferences now that there was an AI in the Compound who could secure the transmission from the other side. The Avengers had started working through their extensive list of missions as Phil and Yinsen managed to prioritize them. The nightly news had become Tony’s primary source of entertainment and amusement as the entire world watched the diplomatic efforts of Steve fucking Rogers. Things were going well enough that Tony felt it an acceptable risk to be tentatively hopeful in his outlook on life. Hoping for things had never ended well for him, so he was hesitant to jinx the newly found tranquility and peace. 

Things were all going well until he came to the workshop to find a message from Yinsen notifying him that Clint wasn’t going to be available for their afternoon chat due to an Avenger emergency. Apparently, there was a top secret research facility that was being attacked by robots. No word from anyone on what the research entailed or why it was top secret. 

Tony sat down in his chair and tugged at the hair of his beard next to the corner of his mouth as worry and anxiety washed through him in turns. It was the first significant engagement that had happened since Tony had stepped down. The thought of Clint being out in the field with just a bunch of arrows and a bow made him want to jump in a suit and say fuck it to his resolve of being retired. He wanted to be the one watching out for Clint. 

Taking a deep breath, Tony reminded himself that the suits on display in his cases were merely external skeletons and the only viable suit he had created was stored deep in the vault and would only activate if someone or something was attacking his home. He had a deep-rooted fear of his house being bombed into the ocean, again. 

Looking around the space, Tony made a split second decision to go to the Compound. The staff at the hanger didn’t even question him when he told them to prep the jet and his pilot was paid handsomely to be ready to take off at a moment’s notice. It took less than thirty minutes for him to be off the ground and on the way to New York. If he spent the entire flight flicking through every news channel he could get his hands on looking for updates on the Avengers, well no one was there to know about it. 

~*~

Clint was tired, sore and smelled. Or at least he thought he smelled, should smell. The robots hadn’t acted like any robot Clint had ever seen before, and Clint was in a relationship with Tony Stark, robots were a daily thing in his life these days. Nothing had attempted to dislodge him from his perch, and nothing had tried to blow him up, so overall he gave the engagement a solid B, for better. 

Clint was finally back in the Compound, the debrief was finished, and it was safe for him to let his guard down. He had seen the footage of Yinsen protecting the Compound, Clint felt could afford to trust the AI to protect him. Shuffling his way to his rooms Clint was already envisioning the bliss that a hot shower and his bed were going to invoke. Rolling his neck as he stopped just inside his door to deposit his bow and quiver in the specially designed slots that had mysteriously shown up for them about the same time as the Avengers had started being deployed. Clint bent down and unzipped his boots and silently thanked Tony for choosing the zippered ones. Clint straightened and used his toes to slide them all the way off. An absent kick later had them out of the way of the door, and he was navigating his way to the bedroom in socked feet on autopilot. 

He was almost to the bedroom door when a shadow moved, catching him off guard and getting the jump on him in his lethargic state. Clint was pinned to a conveniently located wall by a lithe figure that appeared larger in the darkness then the body pressed against him could account. He was reaching for a wrist with one hand and a knife with his other, when his lips were taken in a kiss and the smell of ozone and sandalwood, reached his nose. It was a smell Clint would recognize anywhere and one that was unique to one Tony Stark. 

Changing the path of his hands, he pulled the genius in closer. Opening his mouth to the questioning tongue asking for admittance. Clint was thrilled to have the genius there in his arms and was determined to enjoy whatever Tony had in mind. Clint’s fingers slide hesitantly under the hem of a tee-shirt to feel warm skin. That got him a needy little moan and fingers scrabbling against the clasps and catches of his uniform top. Clint pushed off the wall and managed a step towards the bedroom before he was being herded. 

Clint took that as temporary consent Clint let himself be walked backward as he slides the suit coat off. Breaking the kiss, Clint looked Tony in the eye as best his could as his hands found the hem of the tee shirt and started to pull it up. Clint watched carefully for any sigh of unease in the genius before he got an eye roll and Tony stripped the tee-shirt the rest of the way off. His mouth is immediately taken again as soon as the shirt is dropped though so Clint let his fingers wander, gently tracing over scars and hard, compact muscles. The needy little sound he got, this time, was the much more mature version of the previous one, and it went straight to his groin. The whimper that left his lips when long adept fingers found their way under his uniform to trace along the contours of his abs would have been embarrassing if Clint hadn’t been long gone past caring. 

Clint didn’t ask why Tony was in the Compound or what had happened that had led to the genius jumping Clint in the dark the moment he returned to his rooms. Clint did spare a moment’s thought to wonder about it as his lips kissed down a stubble covered jaw and along the jugular vein in Tony’s neck. The spike of arousal that pulsed through him when the pulse he found there quickened in response to his kissing and gentle bites drove the last wisps of rationally concerned thoughts from his brain. 

Hands trailing over ribs that stuck out too far to a trim waist towards the fly of what felt like jeans Clint pulled away to push Tony’s jeans to the floor, thumbing along the hip bones his hands found and relishing the satisfied moan the action earned. He started to kneel with half a mind to taunt and tease the turgid flesh his ministrations had revealed and was stopped by Tony's hand in his hair pulling him back upright. Clint contemplated ignoring the silent request before he allowed himself to be guided up where he was pulled forward as Tony dropped back onto the bed.

Bracing his hands on either side of the genius Clint dipped his head to take Tony’s lips in another kiss while those nimble fingers worked him out of his uniform pants. It took some squirming and wiggling to get them down and off and as soon as they had hit the floor he was pulled back in close. They both moaned as Tony used hands and feet to position Clint in the exact place that the genius wanted him. Clint didn’t complain; couldn’t complain. It was becoming apparent that Tony needed something from him and for the moment Clint was willing enough to be compliant.

He wasn’t prepared to be rolled to the side as Tony took both of them in hand and stroked. A firm grip with just enough pressure for pleasure and a twist at the top that just about drove him out of his mind. Not to be outdone Clint let his hands and fingers wander finding little places that made his genius sigh and whine, attempting to avoid spots that tickled. In what seemed like mere moments later Clint felt Tony’s rhythm falter for a second before the genius stiffened against him. The warm wetness splattering against his stomach in addition to the upward twist at the end of Tony’s stroke was enough to set off Clint’s orgasm. 

Pressing a gentle kiss to the shoulder closest to him, Clint extracted himself from the bed, held out a hand asking

“Shower with me?” The disbelieving laugh he got brought a smile to his face before Tony took his hand. Once they were both clean Clint headed the genius back towards the bed. If he was going to get jumped in the dark by his lover after a long, difficult mission, he was determined to get cuddling out of it. 

Curled up together in his bed Clint wrapped an arm around Tony before exhaustion pulled him under the sandman’s spell. 

~*(^.=.^)*~

He had heard the commotion before Clint registered that he was safe and warm and curled up around a body. Hard won instincts had him pulling the gun he kept next to the bed and pointing it at the door before he was entirely conscious of moving. Blinking in the pre-dawn light, he watched Laura as she walked into his room without a care in the world to the fact that he had a loaded gun pointed at her. She just raised an eyebrow at him and said

“Get up, come on. Get up! Tony’s missing and Phil needs him to look at the robot you guys brought back last night.” Clint felt it was entirely acceptable that he just blinked at her for a long moment before the fact that she was talking registered. He could and frequently did wake up instantly, but he had been down for the count before she barged in, every instinct he possessed telling him that he was safe to sleep. Lowering the gun, Clint blinked at her again before he asked intelligently

“What?” 

The eye roll he got in response would have been comical if he could get his brain to wake up and process something. Laura sighed at him and repeated herself slowly

“Tony Stark. You know, your boyfriend? He’s missing. No one can reach him, and SHIELD needs him for a consult. You need to get up right now and gear up. Phil needs you wheels up in ten. Natasha is prepping the quinjet for you.” Orders, he could live with orders. Get up, gear up, wheels up in ten. He could do that; hopefully, Natasha would leave coffee for him in the jet. Nodding Clint started moving to get out of bed when the warm body next to him mumbled

“What’s th’noise bout?” Turning slightly, Clint came face to face with a sleep-rumpled Tony Stark, who had at some point pulled the covers up over his head. He was blinking blearily at Clint from under the blanket. He could feel the soft sappy smile as it appears on his face and did nothing to prevent it from blossoming into a full expression. He didn’t think he’d seen anything more adorable than the genius at the moment. His memories of the previous evening reassert themselves creating a sense of awe and affection. Laura’s voice from the door of the room was dazed and completely ignored as she said

“Oh, I see you found him already. Um, good for you? I’m just gonna. Leave. Yes, leave, I’m going now. Leaving.” 

Clint ghosted his fingers over Tony’s cheekbone before pressing a kiss to the corner of the genius’s mouth and rolling out of bed. 

He could feel Tony’s eyes on him as he stretched for a moment before retrieving his uniform and starting to pull the just in case equipment that was stashed in any number of hidden pockets. Each item removed was inspected for damage before being placed on the table he’d liberated from the available suite next to his for just that purpose. He caught movement out of the corner of his eye and turned to watch the genius pull on his jeans. The pleased smirk he got when Tony discovered him staring pulled a smile in return out of him. Turning back to inventorying his gear he almost jumped when a hand slides down his spine before he got a kiss pressed into his bare shoulder before Tony sauntered out of the room. 

Clint shook his head fondly as he finished going through the dirty uniform and began the process of donning and equipping the clean one. 

Minutes later he walked out into the kitchen to the smell of coffee. He accepted the cup that was handed to him on the way to the front door to retrieve his boots. He had just settled down on the couch to pull them on when there was a calamity at his door as Phil burst through. Clint looked up and said

“On schedule to be wheels up in ten. Just let me finish this cup of coffee and pull my boots on and I’m good to go.” The amused look he got from Phil should have tipped him off that he had missed something. As it was Phil just said in a gentle voice

“Stand down agent; the missing asset has been located.” Clint’s response was just to blink at Phil several times. Coffee, he needs more coffee. Or cocaine, maybe but drugs did appalling things to him; best stick with the coffee. No need to go courting the Steve Rogers look of utter disappointment so early in the morning. He watched Phil sigh in exasperation and rub the bridge of his nose before explaining

“I needed you to find Tony, Clint. FRIDAY said he had left the Malibu mansion yesterday afternoon, hadn’t been in contact since and wasn’t answering his phone. I didn’t even think to ask our AI’s if they knew Tony’s location. Do the world a favor and either ingest more caffeine or get a few more hours of sleep?” Clint nodded taking a swallow of his coffee on autopilot and almost burning his tongue in the process. He watched Phil shake his head before addressing Tony

“I need your expertise. The Avengers brought back one of the robots they were fighting last night, and SHIELD techs haven’t been able to figure out how it ticks.” Clint twisted around on the couch to look at Tony, who was shirtless in his kitchen with a hickey low on his neck and what appeared to be a tattoo swirling up over his hipbone above the edge of his jeans. He had watched Tony smirk before the genius said

“Ridiculous Coulson, absolutely ridiculous. I don’t know why I put up with your techs. My ducklings could run circles around them blindfolded. Your luck is in this morning since I’m in a good mood. I’d be _simply_ thrilled to bail your techs out of their incompetence fueled conundrum. Tell Raj that I’ll be along at some point.” Clint watched Phil nod before the man mumbled something and left as abruptly as he had arrived. Clint drank more of his coffee as Tony moved to join him on the couch. Settling back into the soft contours Clint sighed and started undoing the clasps of the harness for his quiver. Sipping more of his coffee, he curled an arm around Tony as the genius settled pressed against his side. Nuzzling the downy soft hair with his cheek, Clint let himself relax back into a half comatose state luxuriating in having Tony next to him.

~*~

Tony looked over the bipedal robot and attempted to discern from just a visual review what the engineer had been thinking about the design. The logic of the joint placements and what he assumed was the power source didn’t make any sense. Why would you put your source of energy in center mass? Granted that’s what he had done with the Iron Man suit but that was more because he had the energy source located in the center of his chest, after it was removed he had left it there for aesthetics. If he were going to design the suit again from the base, upwards he would use a system much like Veronica operated off of, and use four or five power sources with redundancies to keep them from overloading.

Stepping back, he watched as Yinsen run the penetrating isotope scans. When they were completed, he frowned at the results. According to Yinsen’s scans, there was no power source, though there was a shadow on the scan in the chest region. There was nothing that looked particularly dangerous, so he pulled up a rolling tray of tools and got to work prying the outer armor off. 

Which of course when the doors to the workshop opened up to admit Steve fucking Rogers. Tony didn’t look up or acknowledge the super soldier. Yinsen would have sent off an alert to Phil the moment Steve showed up alone so if he needed it, help would be coming. Focusing on a tricky bit of the shoulder which was in part securing the chest plate Tony ignored everything but the tech in front of him.

“I’m sorry Tony, for -- everything. It was never my intent.” Snorting he looked up and said

“Spare me your misguided apologies, Rogers. I don’t want to hear them, and I don’t need them. I know what’s happening here, and trust me when I say it’s not something I need to hear.” The noise Steve made was part frustration and part amusement before the super soldier replied

“I never meant to start a war; you have to know that. I never intended to hurt you, in any way. Why is it the smallest things set us off? I don’t even know what we are fighting about; I don’t even know what I’m fighting for, anymore. Why won’t you let me apologize?” Shaking his head, Tony tossed the screwdriver on his tool tray before he started

“I’m not falling for this trick; you know that right?” He watched Steve roll his eyes before saying

“No tricks, why can’t you swallow your pride for once and see I’ve surrendered? That I’m trying to surrender? That I’m not here to start another fight?” Tony had scoffed in disbelief before he said

“Don’t sound like it too me. And you know what? Maybe I can’t stand down because I’ve done this dance before, I’ve trusted people who have betrayed that trust who then try and kill me. I’ve sung this song before too because you have a history of picking fights with me and once upon a time I believed they were just insignificant things to blow off steam. I’ve got a new light on the situation now, and I don’t want anything to do with you. If I wanted pretend-friends Rogers, I could buy them.” He could see how his words created an impact on the super soldier, but Tony was long past caring. The frustrated little hand toss Steve pulled sent his heart rate through the roof as Steve said

“I know that I know you can. Why won’t you just let me apologize? The right way. I know I let you down, I let everyone down. I traded in my freedom for an illusion because I thought my first and oldest friend in the entire world needed me when he didn’t. I never stopped to consider that I had friends, had a family, right in front of my face, who needed me more than Bucky did. I just needed him; he’s the last person knows me that I’ve got left.” Tony shook his head and said as he turned to pick his screwdriver back up

“Whose fault is that Rogers? You’ve taken up enough of my time, now get out.” He refused to look up from the robot and watch the super soldier leave. Hearing the doors swish open and then close was enough. It didn’t stop the shaking in his hands or the tingling in his left shoulder, but it was enough.

It took several hours to locate all the screws and clasps holding the one inch think heavy metal plates to the skeleton frame. Tony crowed in triumph as he pulled the last piece, the main chest piece, up and off to be set aside on a separate work table. Turning back to the robot, he recoiled in horror. Staring back at him was half of a face, a set of lungs, a heart and a brain. The eye rolled in its socket, and it made a hideous please noise as Tony fell backward off his stool in his quest to get away from what was left of a person. 

The smell hit him next, burning flesh, hydraulic fluid, and death. Whoever had designed these monstrosities hadn’t intended for the human components to survive for very long. Taking several deep breaths through his mouth, Tony exited the workshop and leaned against the wall outside for a long moment before he said

“Lock it down Yinsen, no one in no one out until I give the word. And find me, Bruce.” Without waiting for a response, Tony was storming off down the corridor towards the medical facilities. If nothing else, he would put what was left of a living being out of its misery. 

The syringe full of morphine was probably going overboard. The doors to his workshop slide open without any prompting, and he had stabbed the needle deep into the heart of the thing. He watched as the eye slowly closed. Tony was horrified to notice that the heart was still beating, the lungs still rising and falling in breathing. Grabbing a flashlight, he started investigating and discovered that there were mechanical presses which would simulate a heart beating and lungs inflating even after the brain gave out on the autonomous functions. 

With a grimace Tony stuffed his hand down inside, carefully avoiding the moving parts looking for anything that could be wrenched to stop the horrific torture device laid out in front of him. 

He didn’t know what his hand encountered but everything all at once stopped moving. Stumbling back from the mechanical coffin until his back hit a wall. Suddenly the adrenaline sustaining him gave out and his knees buckled. Tony crashed into a seated position on the floor and just sat there shaking as Yinsen sounded the alarm and brought everyone at a run. Tony absently wondered why Yinsen hadn’t called for backup before that point. 

~*~

Clint had gotten talked into a movie marathon in the communal room and was dozing in an armchair wondering how long he had to stay before he could sneak off and see about pulling Tony away from dissecting the robot when the Avengers alarm blared through the entire Compound. Moments later Yinsen’s voice sounded saying

“Report immediately to robotics laboratory six. Urgent assistance is required by Stark.” Clint was up and moving before the rest of the room had even registered what the AI had said. Tony needed help. 

The smell hit him immediately upon the glass doors sliding open, and he nearly gagged. As Clint looked around, he didn’t immediately see his genius. Moving farther into the room he found Tony with his back plastered against the wall, knees pulled as tight to his chest as they would go and eyes staring unseeingly at the table where the robot was resting. Dropping to his knees in front of Tony using his body to block the view of the robot Clint placed gentle hands against the genius’s knees. Tony blinked at him a few times before asking

“How could anyone do that to another human being?” Moving his hands to slide them up Tony’s arms in an enticement for the genius to curl into his chest Clint replied

“I don’t know.” He didn’t even know what Tony was talking about; he could hear people talking behind him but paid it no mind. Whatever horrors had been revealed inside the robot didn’t matter just yet. His movements were obviously the wrong ones for that moment because Tony blinked and snapped voice a higher pitch than normal and breathy with panic

“Don’t -- don’t touch, get away. Please don’t.” Immediately backing up, but not away Clint gave Tony his space while keeping his body in between the genius and whatever had caused the panic attack. Clint's instincts kicked as he sensed a presence behind him. Clint twisted so he could keep one eye on Tony and monitor whatever threat was coming from behind. He came face to face with Phil’s knee, instantly recognizable by precisely pressed gray slacks that only Phil wore. Looking up as Phil squatted down Clint waited. Once Phil was on his level the former agent asked

“How is he?” Clint winced and said

“Coming down from a panic attack? Maybe? Some shock.” He had watched Phil nod before the man said

“The power source was organic if the smell didn’t give that away.” Clint nodded and watched as Phil turned his attention to Tony and said: “Dr. Stark, I need you to come down off the ceiling.” Clint wiped his smile away before Tony looked up. Phil took that moment to ask

“What happened?” Clint wanted to reach out, and comfort as Tony shuddered and wrapped his arms around himself before staring at the floor and saying

“Six orbiting plates covering fasteners and securing the chest plate in turn. Once removed the smell was noted first. An unpleasant mixture of hydraulic fluid burnt skin and decaying human flesh. The thing I noted second was that the remains were still alive, suspended in life through mechanical means.” Clint did reach out at that point and laid a hand on Tony’s shoulder, which was accepted as the genius whispered

“It said please, gods it said please when I removed the cover.” Clint slide into the space beside Tony and the tool chest to his left and let his presence do what his hands couldn’t as he listened to Tony’s halting explanation

“I had Yinsen lock down the lab, and I took morphine from the medical bay. Stabbed it in the heart but it didn’t stop. The mechanicals didn’t stop. They forced they heart to keep beating and the lungs to keep oxygenating the brain tissue. I had to stop the machines. I had to put the poor thing out of its misery. No one should suffer like that, no one.” Phil nodded and said

“I wish you had waited to euthanize the being, but you did the right thing Dr. Stark. Not many would keep such a level head through something so vile.” Clint jumped when he felt cold fingers worm their way over his bicep and relaxed when he realized that Tony was reaching out in the only way he could at that moment. Turning his head, he offered a smile to the genius and said “Cold.” As an explanation. The small smile he got in response was a good sign. Their little bubble was popped seconds later when Steve said

“Tony Stark going off the reservation and doing whatever he wants, nothing new there.” Clint was impressed by just how quick Tony could move when he had the motivation to do so as the genius threw himself to a standing position and snapped with a finger pointed at the super soldier

“No, you don’t get to give me shit about how I make my fucking decisions. Not you, you hypocritical asshole. I had everything under control. I took care of the situation. Just like I did with the Accords. Until you started your dick measuring contest and fucked everything up. Clint was with his family; they were safe from Ross with him there. Director Coulson had been apprised of the situation as best I could manage in the little leeway I had since you know I was under official, government-sponsored surveillance. All that I needed from the Avengers were their support with the Accords while my legal staff prepared a case for the Supreme Court. Except goddamn fucking Captain America knows best and piss-off to anyone else who doesn’t march in step with yours right Steve?”

Clint had never seen Tony lose his temper. According to Pepper and Rhodes both it was a relatively rare occurrence which was a delight to witness and hell to bear. Clint winced as Steve returned with  
“Maybe if you had taken the time to explain yourself?” Tony’s immediate response soothed some of the worries Clint had harbored that the genius had been irrevocably scarred by the events of Siberia and wouldn’t ever be capable of staying in the Compound while the super soldier was still in residence. 

“Like you explained yourself? Like you let in on the fact that my parents were murdered? Like the fact that the Winter Soldier was Bucky fucking Barnes, POW, and ex-brainwashed assassin? Not only that but when did I fucking have a chance? You’d spent the better part of the two years leading up to the Accords doing everything you could to avoid me,” Clint watched Tony wave his arms around encompassing all of the Avengers who were standing around the robot and the two of them watching the unfolding argument as if it was the worst train wreck they had ever encountered and just couldn’t look away no matter how uncomfortable it made them, before the genius finished with “guess we all know why now.”

Clint wasn’t expecting Steve to just visibly crumble in front of them, but he guessed that everyone had their breaking point, and Steve’s had been building for a while by this point. Clint was up and moving as the super soldier threw his fist at the nearest wall and snarled

“What do you want me to do Tony? Want me to apologize so you can reject it again? I’m sorry, ok? I’m sorry I was selfish. I’m sorry I was scared. I’m sorry that I didn’t know how to tell you that your parents were most likely murdered by HYDRA and probably by my first and oldest friend. I’m sorry that I didn’t have the courage to face you knowing that. I’m sorry for how you found out. That had to have been the worst way possible, and I can’t even imagine how difficult it must have been to watch, to listen. I’m sorry. I’m just, sorry. So sorry.” Clint was close enough that he had watched the line of tension in Tony’s shoulders go from tense to a ridged line to a rod of steel as Steve was ranting. Clint wasn’t surprised by the quiet words that followed the loud outburst of Steve’s

“Who do you think you are? Do you even know anymore? Who are you to make decisions and choices for people, for grown ass adults? What did you gain by doing it your way? By pissing on the entire world when they tried to tell you that enough is enough; someone has to be responsible. News flash Rogers, there are no Avengers. The team is ruined. You’ve had your leadership stripped from you, you’ve lost two members entirely and have a rocky, strained relationships with the rest remaining due to your choices and decisions. That bestie you risked everything for is now playing popsicle god knows where in the world and you won’t allow anyone the access to him to help him. And to top it all off you seem to be under the impression that apologizing to me, getting back in my good graces, will just magically fix everything. I trusted you; I thought you trusted me. Well, guess what, I’m not making that mistake again. Iron Man is done; Tony Stark is done. Figure out how to fix your mess yourself, maybe you’ll get it right this time. Leave me out of it; I’ve got enough scars from you.” 

And with that Clint watched as Tony stalked out of the room without a backward glance. As much as Clint wanted to go after him, he knew it wasn’t the time. Not after the panic attack and not with the anger that was still undoubtedly running its course through Tony. With a sigh, Clint looked at Phil who had a thoughtful look on his face before the Director said

“Well, that’s that. Dr. Banner, would you take over where Dr. Stark left off if you can? I’ll send the SHIELD techs into assist you now that the cover is off. If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my office, likely tending another resignation.” 

~*~

Slamming into the observational deck, Tony paced back and forth across the room as he tore through the argument with Steve fucking Rogers over and over. How dare that man, how dare he? Tony batted away a holo screen that Yinsen threw up in his path. He was still too angry to work on anything. Back and forth across the room, it took him nine steps for a total of eighteen. Three repetitions got him to fifty-four steps and with a huff he threw himself down in the rolling chair, sliding across the room into the wall with enough force to hit his head. With a wince, he rubbed the back of his head as the holo screen popped up in front of him again. 

Glaring at the screen, he snapped

“What the hell is this Yinsen?” The AI replied in a dry droll tone

“This would be a holograph screen displaying an encoded message located within the cyborg. It was uncovered during the scanning process, and I’ve just managed to de-encrypt it. I believed you would want to see the message as it pertains specifically to your work and creations. I have also notified Director Coulson.” Making a huh sound, he turned his attention to the screen and there for all the world to see a note, addressed to him, informing him that the Lotus would be acquiring one of his AI’s no matter what the cost. Leaning back in his chair, careful of the wall that had already reprimanded him once he said

“Well then, that changes things. What do we have on this Lotus? Whatever it is let’s find out more shall we?” And with that, the observational deck lit up in the soft blue of the holo screens that filled the space with everything Yinsen had been able to dredge up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be more about the tattoo later, an expanded presentation about it didn't fit with the flow of the chapter. Things started getting into smut territory without plot, and that would have been good for the last chapter, which the author freely admits was filler, but not this one. I needed to go somewhere with this one.
> 
> The introduction of the Villian has happened! YAY! More about that to come!


	10. First Catastrophe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A moment in the life of Phil, a moment in the life of Steve, a brief moment in the life of Clint, and finishing with three conversations in the life of Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments! 
> 
> So this was supposed to be filler fluff to say I'm sorry for the last chapter but a few plot points snuck in while I wasn't looking, those darn things are so hard to keep in order. At the rate I'm running through chapters, I'm going to run out of titles... Oh well.
> 
> ~*~ = POV change

Locating Tony Stark was beginning to become his life. He’d lost his suit jacket at some point after the cyborg incident, so he’d rolled up the sleeves. Yinsen had informed him when Phil had remembered to ask, that the inventor was in the building but had specifically requested that his location not be provided with any specifics. 

Phil had been working since the Avengers had returned the night before and he was tired so when his cursory search turned up nothing Phil went home. Or in this case to the lively, lived in the suite that housed Laura and the children. She hadn’t asked him to move in so he didn’t officially live there, even if nearly all of his free time was spent within those walls. 

Loosening his tie knot as he walked through the front door he was greeted with giggling and an outraged ‘hey’ from the living room. Turning the corner and taking in the sight before him Phil had to pause.  
Sitting on the living room floor with Conner, Lila, and Cassie dressed down in a tee shirt, jeans and bare feet was one Tony Stark. The Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist was sitting on the floor with the kids looking relaxed and peaceful. 

Phil leaned against the wall and listened as Tony described how to use one of the gifts that he had brought with him on his previous visit. 

“So these little crystals are engineering miracles. Inside of them are very, very tiny electrical circuits. Now the cute ones are for the girls and this manly looking leather wristband is for the almost teenager.” Phil watched the genius lay the leather band out and traced a finger over a set of very delicate looking Chinese symbols before saying

“These symbols here, they are Chinese. It’s a proverb saying those who think to do battle must first count the cost. A reminder that not everything is worth fighting for and sometimes the right thing to do is to just let things go.” 

Phil was impressed, that was an incredibly complex concept that he wouldn’t have suspected the genius to grasp. Except Phil had born witness to Tony doing exactly that with the Avengers. The more that Tony fought for the exotic family, the team, provided him the more they shifted out of his grasp. Shaking his head at himself Phil sighed. He was always underestimating Tony Stark. Perhaps someday the genius would let him see the man behind the masks who was brilliant, and amazingly kind. He watched as Conner nodded before Lila asked

“Why can’t I have a wristband? That’s much cooler than the bracelet and wouldn’t get in the way when I practiced.” The considering look with a touch of annoyance that the genius gave the youngest of the bunch would have made Phil worry if it had been from any other Avenger. Tony though had risked his life for those kids. If there was anyone in the world that Phil would trust with their safety outside of himself and Laura and Clint. It was Tony. He watched the man nod before saying

“Perhaps for your next birthday, if you’re good.” Which received an epic pout that Phil was sure would sway the genius into providing the gift earlier except Tony just moved on in his explanation

“So, you now have the watch and the bracelets. Why are these so important do you ask? Well, I’m about to tell you. You see my petite agents the electrical circuits inside the crystals when touched to the screen of the watch activate. When they are activated, they send out a signal.” 

Cassie Lang perked up then asking a question. Her head was bowed and her shoulders hunched in an attempt to make herself smaller, but it was the first time Phil had ever heard her speak.

“Why would we need to send out a signal?” 

Watching the genius smiled in genuine pleasure Phil could see why Clint had fallen so hard for the man. 

“That is an awesome question, my tiny terror. So if you are ever in trouble, and not the I got caught by the principal doing something bad kind of trouble but the real kind. The bad men in masks are trying to take me away kind of trouble I want you to activate that signal. There are six autonomous Artificial Intelligence systems the worldwide, and one satellite that are all programmed to look for that signal as their number one priority. Once they catch it, even if it’s only for a second they will send help immediately. The reason you aren’t to ever taken them off, and throw the biggest fit you can if anyone ever tries to take them from you, is because also in the crystal is a set of passive GPS chips that will provide your parents and the rest of the Avengers with your exact location.” 

Phil watched as three little heads nodded before Tony clapped his hands together and asked

“So who wants to test it out?” The chorus of me’s the genius received in response did not surprise Phil. He watched carefully as Tony demonstrated placing the top of his right wrist to the bottom of his left. The children copied the movement and instantaneously the Avengers alarm went off, and Yinsen’s voice was announcing 

“Emergency distress signal detected. Co-ordinates forty-three degrees, twelve minutes, eighteen point three seconds north by seventy-four degrees, twenty-three minutes, two point nine seconds west. Originator: Barton, Lila. Barton, Cooper. Lang, Cassandra. Emergency distress signal detected, immediate response requested. Life signs: normal.” Phil covered his ears as the signal sounded again before Tony could call the override.

By that point, Laura and Clint had come rushing into the room with panicked looks on their faces only to be met by the ecstatic giddy look of both children and genius. Phil couldn’t help but smile at the identical looks of chagrin that overtook all four faces at the sight of Clint and Laura’s less than pleased looks. 

Phil watched as Tony looked between the adults and the kids and said

“Let’s go play with bubbles while the grownups calm down.” Lila’s question to the genius as she was hustled out the door nearly made Phil laugh.

“Are you going to be in trouble, Mr. Tony?” The response the genius gave was partially obscured by the closing door as Tony said

“Probably, but don’t worry …” Phil shook his head and turned to face two slightly angry expectant looks. He shoved off the wall and started to make his way towards the kitchen, dropping a kiss on Laura’s cheek as he passed and said

“Tracking and locating devices for the children. Emergency distress signal for them to use if someone is ever dumb enough to try and take them to use against the Avengers. I must admit, I’m impressed with the presentation. Just looking at them you’d never know that there was anything special about the bracelets.” He watched as Clint rubbed both hands over his face before he mumbled

“A little warning would have been nice.” Phil nodded and said

“Give him a little slack, Tony Stark lives alone. He isn’t used to taking other people into consideration.” There was a sigh from Laura before she said

“It’s not like I can get mad at him. He’s provided all of the kids with a way to signal for help in a way that doesn’t require a cell phone and doesn’t look like anything more than some funky jewelry. Did you hear where all that signal can be received?” Phil put the tea kettle on the stove to boil and replied

“Tony said that there were six autonomous Artificial Intelligence systems and one satellite.” Yinsen’s voice broke into the conversation than saying

“Forgive my intrusion but I would like to correct a numerical error Stark has made in his simplified explanation. Opiekun, FRIDAY, JARVIS 2.0, myself, Veronica, and DUM-E are all programmed to receive the distress signal and provide notice immediately to the Avengers. JARVIS 2.0 is actually a series of thirteen satellites whose secondary duties are to secure satellite communications for Stark Industries. He is nothing like our predecessor. Veronica is charmingly nicknamed ‘the Hulk buster’ and is also considered a satellite. While both are considered Artificial Intelligences, neither have the capability to reason or make decisions without input from either FRIDAY, myself or Stark. DUM-E and Opiekun are peripheral independent systems. Which if you aren’t familiar with Stark's definition means they can operate entirely without external input. Myself and FRIDAY and integrated Artificial Intelligence systems capable of reaching just about anywhere through the internet. Each system has its strengths and its limitation. Between all of us, our primary function is to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the six children who have touched Stark’s life.” 

Phil looked at the ceiling and wondered just how independent Stark’s AI’s really were. Turning and grabbing the kettle when it started to whistle he set about making his evening cup of tea as Clint said  
“I’m going to go see what I’ve got in my fridge that can be used to make dinner in my rooms since I’m entirely confident that Tony won’t want to even consider sitting down in the communal rooms for a meal with the Avengers.” Phil nodded. He sighed when the door closed behind the archer and said

“I’m sorry for sending you to wake up Clint this morning.” Two arms snaked around his middle as he watched his tea steep before Laura said

“Nothing to apologize for, it was a logical choice. I was married to the man for nearly fourteen years Phil, there’s not a state I haven’t seen him in.” Phil nodded and laid a hand over the ones folded on his stomach. Before he could say anything else though Laura sighed and said

“We need to talk and since the kids are so conveniently being distracted would now be a good time?” Phil swallowed. He had been waiting for this conversation. Dreading it, praying that it never happened. Taking a deep breath, he said 

“Sure, now is as good as any.” He grabbed the tea cup and followed Laura to the couch. Settling down facing her he waited. He would weather whatever she had to say as stoically as he could before Phil crept off to his own cold, lifeless suite to lick his wounds. Laura surprised him though by leaning into his shoulder, tucking her head under his chin and said

“I think you should move in.” Phil choked on his tea. That had not been what he was expecting. Relief shot through him as he coughed to clear his throat. Once he had his breath back, he said  
“Yes, absolutely yes.” He got an arm around his waist in a half hug. With a sigh he said

“You know this means that occasionally work will come home with me? And that there will be late nights and excessively early mornings? My presence is required whenever the Avengers are deployed.” He felt Laura nod against his should before she asked

“Does it also mean you’ll be gone for weeks at a time with no word in between and sometimes only a few minutes warning?” Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he pulled her closer and said

“No, I’ve managed to get to a point where I’m too necessary for that kind of work. I can’t promise I’ll be home every night, and I can’t promise that I’ll always call to let you know but twenty-four hours is the longest you should go without seeing me.” She nodded and said

“Then we’re good.” Phil had sighed before he started, changing the topic

“I wonder why Yinsen and Opie didn’t say anything about Tony being in the Compound last night?” Laura had made a humming sound before she replied

“I don’t know, I’m sure Yinsen at least heard you calling the genius. Doesn’t he monitor communications? He should have seen the calls right?” Phil nodded before addressing the ceiling and asked

“Yinsen, care to let us in on the secret?” The AI’s answer was as prompt as always as he said

“Privacy protocols dictate that unless directly queried any installed integrated intelligence is to remain mute on the location of all watched members. Records indicate that there were several instances where my predecessor FRIDAY inadvertently acted creepy and invasive when dealing with members of the Avengers. Thus the privacy protocols were updated and made more stringent.” Phil nodded, and Laura asked

“Would you be able to override those if you were aware that the Director was attempting to reach a particular watched individual? Could that become a rule?” Phil pressed a kiss to her forehead. The woman was a genius. Yinsen’s answer

“It is possible to add a sub-protocol to all of my protocols. In this case, you would need Stark’s verbal permissions to edit the privacy protocols. It is the only protocol that the Director does not have overriding capabilities.” Phil nodded, he could see the point and made a mental note to talk with the genius later as he said

“Thank you Yinsen, you’ve been very helpful.” Laura wiggled closer to him, and he leaned his cheek against her hair for a long moment before he said

“I was afraid you were going to break things off when you told me you wanted to talk. That you were going to inform me, you and Clint had come to a new agreement, and things were over.” Her chuckle had jiggled him before she said

“Clint and I have come to new agreements, we do that nearly daily. I’m not going to shut him out of my life, he’s one of my best friends it just took us a while to get back to that, I was angry, and he was angry, and we were both hurting from things done and said. At the same time, we are both in agreement that his lifestyle and my needs are compatible anymore. I need someone who’s going to be around, and I don’t know if anything will get Clint to change his daredevil ways.” Phil nodded and said

“You might be wrong there. He was asking the other day about retiring again. I know he wants to spend more time than he gets with Tony, and I know Clint misses the kids like he’s lost a limb whenever he’s sent out. You can see it these days. It could be that he’s just torn wanting to be there for the people he loves and not being able to due to distances and responsibilities.” Laura shrugged and said

“That’s for him to decided and even if he does settle down somewhat and stops courting an early grave he and I still won’t be anything more than friends at this point. We’ve both moved on. I’m happy with who and how I’ve surrounded myself. Even the kids are getting the hang of the new order, and they adore both you and Tony.” Phil nodded. He knew it was true, could see it in the way the kids looked at him while they prepared breakfast in the morning. He had been honest with Clint when he had told the archer that he’d never seen Clint and Laura not work out their arguments, and there had been one or two big ones over the years. Curling closer to Laura Phil vowed to himself to stop doubting that this was real, that the relationship that he had with Laura was anything other than solid. Maybe if he said it enough, he would believe it. 

~*~

Steve was cooking, it wasn’t his turn, but he wanted to cook anyway. It was soothing and helped him remember his mother. She had been a terrible cook. Steve figured that it had been more of a combination of exhaustion, too many work hours and one always sick kid that had combined together to make Sarah Rogers burn more than she created. She had traded favors with the family across the hall for evening meals and always made sure there was bread and peanut butter that Steve could grab on his way to school.

Steve had actually learned how to cook at the side of Mrs. Barnes, who had been a fantastic cook. He and Bucky had learned alongside Bucky’s sisters. Simple things usually. Soups and stews which could take a few ingredients and make them go a long way. He was in the process of making noodles for chicken noodle soup. A favorite of his when he was feeling under the weather. It had been a very long time since he had been sick, but Steve felt the mental fugue and listlessness he had experienced since the fight with Tony in the lab counted as ‘under the weather.’

Rolling out noodles also gave him something to vent whatever lingering frustration he had with the situation without looking like he was violent about it. Rolling noodles were hard work and took a skill that Steve hadn’t possessed when he was small. The door to the kitchen opened, and Steve looked up to see Sam walking towards him. The aerialist smirked at him and said

“Smells good, special occasion?” Shaking his head Steve went back to his rolling before he said

“No, just nostalgia. Wanted something that made sense.” He heard Sam hum before the colander with the already cut noodles were drying in was rattled. Looking up Steve said

“If you want to help, don’t eat those and shake them to help knock the excess flour off.” He caught Sam’s nod as the man began to gently shake the noodles to a rain of flour. Steve smile at the look of bafflement that was on Sam’s face at the sheer amount of powder coming off. Steve remembered the first time he had noodle shaking duty. Mrs. Barnes had scolded him for knocking some of the flour onto the floor saying that even flour that had been used for noodles was still necessary for the kitchen and could be utilized again.

Steve decided that his current batch were as thin as he was going to get and started the delicate process of cutting more noodles. He tossed them in a second colander. They worked in silence for a few minutes before Sam said

“You know, I had an awful opinion of Stark up until a few weeks ago. Then I find out he’s a victim. And you know, part of my job at the VA was to protect the victim and make them feel life they had a safe place to open up about whatever had hurt them. So you can imagine my hang up and if the situation wasn’t complicated enough to start with I find out at the same time that Captain America is the one responsible for Stark’s latest stint as a victim. Bet you can guess how well that sat with me.”

Steve hunched his shoulders down. He didn’t want to have this conversation, ever. Sam wasn’t done though

“So I start watching, and I start questioning. You know what I think?” Steve risked a glance in Sam direction, but the other man gave him nothing from his expression so Steve asked

“What do you make of it?” Sam shot him a knowing look before saying

“I think you both got hurt from the same thing, but in different ways. I’m just not sure how to go about helping either of you fix it.” Steve sighed and asked

“Is there anything that can be fixed? Sure didn’t seem like it earlier.” He caught movement out of the corner of his eye and turned to see Sam finishing a shrug before saying

“Dunno man wasn’t me who broke it this time. Sure, I did my part in fostering that break to grow, but the weight of redemption doesn’t fall on my shoulders.” Steve sighed and threw a handful of noodles with a little more force than necessary before he saying

“Wish I knew how to fix it. I tried to apologize, Tony wouldn’t listen.” He wasn’t prepared for Sam to ask

“You ever think he’s not ready to forgive you yet? You damn near beat him to death Steve, and who knows how long he was stranded in that bunker before help arrived. That suit isn’t as light as he makes it seem. A full version, like what he was wearing in Siberia would weight about two hundred and fifty pounds depending on whether or not it was stocked with armaments. Add in things like his little missiles and the laser packs and the suit can get over three hundred pounds easily. Stark’s just a man, no special training, no super strength. Me and Rhodes had a pretty extensive conversation about those Iron Man suits you know.” Steve raised an eyebrow at Sam before asking

“Learn anything interesting?” Sam hummed again before saying

“You ever notice that the War Machine armor was always bulkier, less streamlined than the Iron Man suit?” Steve frowned thinking back before nodding and asking

“You know why?” Sam nodded and said

“The War Machine armor had hydraulic assists installed. Rhodes’ suit literally carried its own weight.” Steve frowned again, deeper. Turning his full attention to Sam, he asked

“If that’s the case then the Iron Man suit didn’t have anything to assist with the weight?” He felt his eyebrows shot towards his hairline when Sam nodded before saying

“Rhodes thought it was a misguided idea of penitence. That by not using hydraulic or mechanical assistance when he put on the suit that Stark was carrying the weight of his poor decision and used it as a reminder of the lives that had been lost to his weapons.” Steve shook his head, that didn’t sound like Tony at all, except it also sounded exactly like something Tony would do. Forgetting his hands were covered in flour Steve rubbed at his temple before he remembered and scowled at his hand. Sam’s laughter was a relief. If they could still laugh, they could repair the damage to their friendship. It might take a little time, but Steve was confident for the first time in what felt forever that something could get back to being what it was supposed to be. Shooting a rueful grin at the other man, he returned to cutting his noodles. With a sigh Steve said

“The whole situation is frustrating. I know I hurt Tony the most, physically and emotionally. So I thought that if I apologized and earned his forgiveness that I would figure out what to say to everyone else. But Tony didn’t want to hear what I had to say, and I didn’t respect that very well. Then this afternoon and I don’t even know why I said that it wasn’t true or well it wasn’t relevant. Tony’s never followed orders which was part of the reason we fought so much before everything. I never wanted him dead.” He looked up to find Sam watching him with a curious look on his face before he shrugged and started tossing the noodles again. It was quiet for a little while before Sam said

“Stark’s not a soldier, Stark’s not a veteran. He’s never been indoctrinated into that culture. He doesn’t see the world like you, hell he doesn’t even see the world like Rhodes and me. Stark sees the world through a series of yes or no questions. Is the sky blue, yes or no? Is the coffee hot, yes or no? From a military standpoint, he’s a liability.” Steve sighed and said

“But whenever we got into a tight jam, it was usually Tony who got us back out. Usually with a personal cost involved.” He saw Sam nod before being asked

“So what you’re saying is he was a valued, if unorthodox, member of the team?” Steve nodded and said definitively

“Absolutely. We wouldn’t have half the armor we do without him, nor would anyone’s gear, except maybe Scott’s, be as reliable. Those shock sticks of Natasha’s were a Tony Stark brain child that took months to calibrate correctly.” He saw Sam nod again before asking

“So if it were anyone else who was in a snit with you, would you go pushing yourself into their space when they obviously don’t want you there?” Steve grimaced and said

“No, but I see everyone else. I never know when Tony’s going to be in the Compound, and Coulson refuses every request I submit to get in contact with him.” Steve wanted to tell Sam that his eye roll was not required nor appreciated, but the aerialist was talking before Steve got a chance

“So what you’re saying is that Director Coulson, leader of the Avengers, has repeatedly denied you the right to go further harass an estranged teammate who you personally traumatized by nearly beating him to death and disabling his suit by destroying the arc reactor which we all know about Stark’s issues regarding.” Steve flinched and said

“Well, when you put it like that.” Sam hummed again and said

“Yea, cause that’s what it is, the rest of us can’t hide from our actions, and you put on a good act so I don’t think anyone noticed that you were hiding from yours.” Steve slammed the paring knife down on the counter and snapped

“I know, ok. I know I screwed up.” Sam didn’t back down like he normally would, Steve was secretly pleased to see it. So many people just let him get away with everything. 

“No man, you don’t. You don’t know at all if you are still trying to punch your way through this. You gotta face the facts here. Tony Stark brought the Avengers home, Tony Stark got the Accords repealed, Tony Stark kept the Avengers safe, Tony Stark let you break us out of the RAFT. Tony Stark might not have been the leader of the Avengers, but he was everything that a second in command should have been even if you refuse to see it. You owe him a debt of gratitude if nothing else, cause he’s the reason you’re standing here on US soil. Not Coulson, not SHIELD, Tony Stark.” Steve had made a frustrated noise before he said

“I know, I do. I just don’t know how to fix it.” He heard Sam sigh before the man said

“You can’t fix it, you just have the learn to live with the new normal and hope that Tony Stark is as good a man as he appears to be and finds it in himself to forgive you.” Frowning Steve turned towards Sam once more and asked

“Where did you get that? Learning to live with the new normal?” Sam shrugged and said

“It was part of my training. The instructor repeated it all the time. Those people who witness or face or live horrible events don’t get better, they just learn to accept a new normal.” Steve nodded and said

“Natasha said something similar a while back.” Sam nodded and said

“I’d listen to the pretty lady. Otherwise, she’ll garrote you in your sleep.” The door to the kitchen opened again before Bruce’s voice asked

“Who’s being garroted?” Steve rolled his eyes as Sam chuckled and said “Steve.” Bruce nodded and said

“I’m sure there is probable cause to warrant such a punishment. What did you do to Natasha?” Steve rolled his eyes again and said

“I didn’t listen to her advice, her apparent spot on excellent advice.” Bruce shrugged and said

“She probably didn’t expect you too.” Steve shot Bruce a disgruntled look before returning to cutting noodles. He would bake them for an hour or so on a baking sheet to speed up the drying process so they would be ready when it was time to add them to the chicken noodle soup. Sam shook his colander of noodles a few times before asking

“Oh, by the way, how’s that thing you’ve got with Sharon coming along?” Steve felt himself blush but before he could say anything Bruce asked

“Sharon Carter? Margaret Carter’s daughter?” Steve frowned and looked up at Bruce before saying in a questioning tone

“Niece, I thought?” Bruce shook his head and said

“No, the maternity test SHIELD ran when she was first hired showed daughter. It’s not an exact science, but there were definitely too many alleles for an aunt to niece connection.” Steve mulled that over as he finished up with the noodles and started laying them out on the baking sheet he had prepared. Sam ever curious asked

“What other kinds of tests does SHIELD run, do you know Doctor?” His fingers busy separating noodles Steve listened with half an ear as Bruce rattled off half a dozen tests that the average SHIELD recruit would be likely to go through until he heard paternity. Snapping his head up he asked

“Do you know if they ever found a match on Sharon’s paternity test? She said she never knew who her parents were, and if it’s in the SHIELD files somewhere maybe I can let her know if he’s still alive?” The distressed look that Bruce got should have warned him that whatever the information was, he wasn’t going to like it. As it was, he wasn’t prepared at all for Bruce to say

“Her paternity test is classified under Project Rebirth.” 

It felt like someone had shot him in the gut with a Chitauri weapon again. Project Rebirth, the super soldier serum. He didn’t know how they had done it, but for Sharon Carter’s paternity to be classified under Project Rebirth it could only mean one thing. They had somehow used his DNA or something and had created a child. His child. He had a daughter. A daughter he was pseudo-dating. How much more screwed up could his life get? 

~*~

Clint was impressed, he would never say so because then it might never happen again but Tony Stark had been ousted from whatever hole he had retreated too before Clint had been required to go find him. The genius was obviously still in a daze from looking at a holographic screen and blinked owlishly at Clint when he opened the door. Smiling Clint ushered Tony in and guided the man towards the seat the genius had chosen the previous time they had dined together in his rooms. Clint returned to the kitchen to finish up dinner as Tony laid his head on the table. After a few seconds, Clint asked

“So what captured your attention after the incident in the lab this morning?” There was a humming noise before Tony responded

“There was a note included in the cyborg letting me know that no matter what the Lotus was going to get one of my AI’s.” Clint dropped his spatula and asked urgently

“Did you say Lotus?” A tentative hand touched his shoulder and Clint shudder before taking a deep breath and explaining

“The Lotus and I have a history.” He said as he grabbed the counter and closed his eyes, “It was before SHIELD mostly. I did a few jobs for her. Her name is Lotus Fong, the aspiring star of the Hong Kong underworld King Li Fong. She immigrated a couple decades ago looking to help him expand his operation into the US. She makes Natasha look downright cuddly.” The hand on his shoulder slide up to grab the side of his neck before gentle lips kissed the corner of his mouth. Opening his eyes, he looked at Tony. The genius offered him a crooked smile before saying

“I know Clint. I’ve known about your past, not the details but the big bullet points, since New York when it looked like the Avengers were going to be an actual thing. I wanted to know who I was trusting with Pepper’s life.” Clint let out a bark of a laugh before he stirred the stir fry. Shaking his head, Clint said

“I should have known. I’ve never seen you be careless for no reason about anything. Why did you decide to give me a chance at all?” He watched Tony lean back against the counter next to him and cross his arms over his chest before he said

“Honestly? Phil. But also because my past is somewhat colorful too. I earned Playboy and merchant of death honestly you know? That takes some skill to do accidently. I’d be a bit of a hypocrite to dismiss someone for, hm, interesting life choices.” Shaking his head again Clint said

“You are amazing,” He saw Tony starting to protest and continued “No, don’t knock the compliment. You know how many people have dismissed me because they’ve learned I’m that Hawkeye? You are amazing and a rare soul.” Turning the burner off Clint saw Tony shrug before the genius said

“I promised myself a very long time ago that I would do everything opposite of Howard, and I think I’m doing a pretty good job of it these days. Granted it took me a while to figure it out but I think I’ve gotten pretty good at being a decent human being these days.” Chuckling Clint set the plates of stir-fry on the table turning for silverware only to be handed a fork. 

Dinner passed in a series of retellings of their most amusing antecedents from their respective misguided youths. By the end of it, Clint was laughing freely, and Tony was as relaxed as the archer had ever seen him while awake. They settled down on the couch, and Clint asked

“So I have to ask, was that a tattoo I noticed peeking up over the edge of your jeans on your hip?” The tension he felt spike in the body pressed into his side caused him to look at the genius in concern, but before he could take the question back Tony chuckled and said

“You are the first person to catch it that I didn’t intentionally show. The base of it is a rose for my mother. I got it when I was blackout drunk on the third anniversary of her death. Since then I’ve added a star for each person who touched my life in a meaningful way since who has been lost to me. It’s very pretty and feminine in a way that most people wouldn’t understand. I choose the stars with their whimsical tails so that they didn’t look out of place next to the rose.” Clint watched as Tony pulled out his phone and scrolled through several pictures until he found the one he was apparently looking for before holding out the phone for Clint to take. With the phone in hand, Clint looked over the design and had to agree that the final product was rather feminine, but it was done in stark blacks and grays which gave it a more dignified bearing. Handing the phone back Clint asked

“How did you manage to keep that from the media with that playboy status of yours?” Tony groaned and flopped bonelessly against him before saying

“Carefully, very carefully and a few shady deals that no one can ever learn about or I’m going to have a fascinating time explaining just why Stark Industries had six photographers on the payroll from ninety-eight to two thousand and thirteen.” Clint pressed a kiss into the genius’s hair before he said

“You need someone to disappear, I’m your guy. I’m an excellent assassin, and I’m told I’m pretty epic as a sniper even though my weapon of choice is outdated and antiquated.” Tony chuckled again, and Clint thought it might be a record number of humor filled noises. Clint could only smile as they settled further into the couch and Tony had Yinsen put on a movie. He would count his life as perfect if he could have this regularly. 

Everything else would be worth having more calm moments with Tony settled next to him. 

~*~

Tony had retreated to the communal kitchen because he knew it would be stocked with everything he needed to cook breakfast. Cooking for a big group was something he missed from his childhood. He had been too busy when the Avengers lived in the Tower to cook much and usually when he did have the time the only Avengers in residence were Bruce and Steve. Steve could eat as much as four grown men, but that wasn’t the same as having a big group around. 

His mother had been Italian and during the summers when his father had been in the Arctic she had hosted some impressive family dinners dragging in everyone even remotely related to her. Tony had learned to cook standing in between her and Ana. He wasn’t a master of anything culinary and had a tendency to burn anything that required baking time, but he had enough skills to keep himself alive and to do his mother’s heritage proud.

So restless and in need of something to do that wasn’t staring at holo screen expecting the information to change the longer he looked at it, Tony had retreated to the kitchen. Pancakes were easy and converting the recipe into metric and larger quantities simultaneously would pose enough of a challenge that it wouldn’t drift off thinking about quantum mechanics or thermonuclear biology. 

He was just finishing whisking together his dry goods when the kitchen door opened admitting Cooper. He smiled and asked

“Want to help? I’m almost to the fun part.” The pre-teen looked at him wary before asking

“What’s the fun part of cooking?” With a mock scandalized look, Tony replied

“Why breaking the eggs of course.” He watched as Cooper just shrugged before hefting himself up onto one of the stools at the breakfast bar. Tony turned and regarded the kid seriously for a moment before asking  
“Alright munchkin, spit it out. What’s bothering you?” He got a shrug for his efforts before Tony sighed and said

“I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong. People aren’t like machines, and I’m a mechanic, not a shrink. Machines tell me what’s wrong with them so I can fix it so let’s pretend you’re a machine for a minute and just tell me what’s bothering you?” That got him a halfhearted smile before Cooper said

“I want my mom and dad to get back together, I want things to be like they used to be.” Tony nodded and stood there thinking for a minute. Nodding to himself he grabbed a bowl and two eggs. Setting one down on the counter he held the other one up for Cooper to see and said

“This egg now represents a relationship between two people ok?” Cooper nodded so Tony plowed on

“Relationships, like the egg, are fragile things that require lots of care to keep from damaging them.” Tony gently tapped the egg against the counter creating some cracks in the shell before he continued

“Sometimes there are cracks, those are just two different people with two different ideas not talking enough to work things out. You can smooth those out with a little work and nothing is damaged.” He watched as Cooper nodded. Tony tapped the egg on the counter a few more times until a few pieces fell off

“Now if those people don’t work out their cracks it can get to the point where pieces are falling off. With a lot of work, the relationship can still be put back together and if done right will be as strong as ever. Following?” Cooper nodded and said

“Like when Mom and Dad fought over the retractable barn roof, and Dad had to sleep in the barn?” Tony was vastly curious about how that story had come to be but set aside his curiosity for a moment as he said

“Yes, they eventually worked out whatever problem they had, and things went back to normal right?” Cooper nodded and said

“Mom was still mad at Dad for weeks, they tried to hide it, but I could tell.” Tony nodded, he had always picked up on when his parents were fighting too. Holding the egg over the rim of his bowl he said

“Well sometimes in a relationship one person or the other does something that cracks the egg.” With a decisive tap, he made a puncture in the side of the egg and held it over the bowl so the white dribbled down.

“Now we’re done irreparable damage to the relationship. We can get some cling wrap and seal off the damaged part, but that’s only a temporary measure. Sometimes that enough. Most of the time it’s not.” Cooper nodded, and Tony finished by giving the egg a firm tap against the side of the bowl and saying

“Occasionally though that weak spot will be hit again, and be hit harder because the initial damage wasn’t repaired, couldn’t be fixed and when that happens the relationship breaks all to pieces, and all you’ve got left is a mess on your hands.” He let the egg shell crumble as the yolk and white went falling into the bowl. Turning back to Cooper, he said

“Now, I don’t know for sure, but I’d bet your parent's relationship broke down a bit like that egg. That’s not on you Cooper. You didn’t do anything wrong, and no matter how much you wish or want or desire I’m pretty sure they aren’t getting back together. They made the decisions that they felt were best for everyone involved.” Tony wasn’t surprised when he got a scowl and a petulant 

“They didn’t ask anybody, though. I would have told them it was better to be together.” Tony wanted to sigh, he really didn’t have the patience for these kinds of things

“Look, life happens, and we can’t control it. It’ll knock you down, it’ll rip your heart out, it’ll make you sound like the weakest link in the history of links and won’t care a lick about it. What you gotta do is learn how to stand back up and not be a pussy about the horrible, stupid stuff that life throws at you. Your Mom and Dad, that’s life throwing something horrible at you. So what are you going to do? Let it get to you and ruin everything or stand back up and figure out how to make it work cause it’s not something you can change.” Cooper glared at him for a long moment before deflating in the face of his unimpressed look before the kid said

“What would you do?” Tony smiled and said

“There you go, using that gray matter between your ears and everything. What I would do, well let’s see. When I was your age, I was in my junior year of high school and had already been accepted to MIT. My Dad spent every moment I was home off the coast of Greenland looking for Captain America. So what I would do isn’t going to be what you would do because we are two different people. Now what I recommend, which is the question you should have asked, by the way, is that you look after your brother and sister. Your Mom and Dad will work themselves out however they feel is best which is an uncontrollable variable in your life that you’ve just got to learn to work around.” Cooper nodded and said

“I don’t want to, though. They are babies.” Tony did sigh this time before he said

“Well, you were their age once, and I bet no one gave you any flak for not being all grown up and mature yet. Don’t grow up too fast, soon you’ll look like me and won’t have the time to play anymore. Trust me when I tell you that being an adult is no fun. Personally, I’d rather play with bubbles.” Cooper smiled and said

“That was fun yesterday. How’d you get your bubbles not to pop so quickly? They could even land on the grass.” Smiling Tony said

“You figure out how to get yours to last longer, and I’ll tell you my secret. Now I’m sure Phil or your Mom are wondering where you’re at so go make sure I don’t get into any more trouble. I get into too much trouble with you guys, and we won’t be able to do our science experiments.” He got a nod as Cooper hopped off the chair, the kid stopped half way to the door and said

“Thank you, Mr. Tony.” Before scampering out. Shaking his head, Tony started to clean up the ruined egg. It was a few moments before a voice spoke up from the living room side of the communal room saying

“That was really well done.” Jumping Tony spun to point a finger at Steve fucking Rogers as he moved out of the darkened room into the soft light of the kitchen before he said

“Heart problems Rogers, how many times do you have to be told before it gets through your thick skull?” Setting his hands back on the counter to hide their shaking he took a deep breath and tried to control his panic. Steve wasn’t armed, which didn’t mean much. But it made Tony feel better to not see the shield in Steve’s hands. Taking another deep breath, he returned to making pancakes. He heard movement behind him and turned to see Steve settling down at the breakfast bar, hands clasped on top staring at his intertwined fingers. Tony rolled his eyes, what was it with people finding him in the kitchen at dark thirty in the morning for a meaningful heart to hearts. 

He paused in his mixing to stab the coffee pot, deciding that if he was going to be plagued by one Steve Rogers he was going to be caffeinated while doing it. He heard Steve sigh behind him before the super soldier said

“I found out I had a daughter yesterday, and that I’ve been a class one moron about pretty much everything.” Closing his eyes, Tony counted to ten. He could do this; he could have a civil conversation with the super soldier. It had to happen eventually. If whatever he had going with Clint was going to get anywhere he had to be able to interact with Steve fucking Rogers without courting a panic attack. It wasn’t like he agreed to fight alongside the man or anything. He could do this; for Clint if nothing else. With another deep breath, he stated

“Well, it happens to the best of us every once in a while. You’ll get over it. Congratulation is in order I suppose? Who’s the lucky lady and when’s she due?” There was a strangled noise from behind him forcing him to turn and make sure the super soldier was alright. The sight that greeted him wasn’t what he expected, though. Steve was still sitting at the breakfast bar. Head leaned against his hands shaking in what appeared to be suppressed laughs. Rolling his eyes again he went back to the griddle and added the first row of little circles of batter just before the coffee pot pinged announcing it was done brewing. Grabbing two cups from the cabinet he filled on for himself and one for Steve before sliding the second one across the breakfast bar. The noise forced the super soldier to look up, and Tony took a sip as Steve regarded the cup with a hint of suspicion. Glancing at the pancakes and deciding they could wait another minute before being flipped Tony waited. Steve looked up at him before sighing, taking a drink of the coffee and saying

“Apparently, Peggy Carter was the lucky lady, and the baby was already born, it’s Sharon.” Tony made a little huh sound as he turned to flip the pancakes. As soon as that was done, he turned back to Steve and said

“That explains how she’s a few years younger than I am and still looks like she’s twenty-five.” Tony threw himself forward as Steve buried his face in his hands again with a groan of dismay and pulled the coffee cup out of the way of super soldier elbows. Tony rolled his eyes and said

“The same thing I said to Cooper applies to you too you know.” Pulling his first set of pancakes off he plated them and set them in front of Steve. Only to watch the man start to eat them plain like a savage. With a sigh pulled the plate back and added syrup. The sugar would do the super soldier good, at least in the short term. Shoving them back across the breakfast bar he turned to add more batter to the griddle. There were quiet thanks from behind him that he just shook his head at, Steve Rogers was a lot of things, but the mature adult was obviously not yet one of them. The kitchen was quiet for a few moments before Steve asked

“Which part of what you said to Cooper applies to me?” Looking over his shoulder, Tony regarded the super soldier before he said

“That life happens, and you get two choices in how to deal with it. Stand back up or be a pussy about it.” Turning back to the griddle he flipped his next set of pancakes. The door opening had him looking up and upon catching sight of a rumpled sleepy Clint smiling in response. The archer walked up to him and angled so he could still see Steve, slide an arm around his waist and laid his against Tony’s shoulder. Tony’s smile had grown before he said

“Hey Bruce Wayne, you’re off duty. I can take care of myself and Yinsen’s always got my back, that right buddy?” The AI answered immediately

“Avenger defense protocols _are_ some of my favorite to implement Stark.” The huff he got from the archer made him chuckle before Tony said

“I love it when you go all he-man on me but honest, this time, I’ve got it covered.” There was a nod against his shoulder before Clint said

“Message received. Not moving, though, you left me.” The laughter that bubbled up and out of him was refreshing so he pressed a kiss to Clint’s head and returned to making pancakes. Ignoring the little bubble of hope that blossomed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is what I have on Lotus, please keep in mind that the information offered below is official Marvel and that I have taken a little creative license with it.
> 
> Lotus: As a child, Lotus was traded to Hong Kong underworld leader Li Fong to cover her father's gambling debts. She became Fong's protegee, trained in martial arts, and eventually ascending to a high position within his organization. Lotus emigrated to California to set up her own criminal operation. As she increased her power, she began to run afoul of various heroes, including Hawkeye, Wonder Man, and Night Thrasher. As a cover for her illegal activities, Lotus took over a film studio and became a movie producer. However, proof of her misdeeds was uncovered by Wonder Man and the Beast, and she was taken into police custody. - Comic appearance: Avengers Spotlight #30  
> -Aj


	11. Dress Rehersal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun... The plot thickens as we face our villainess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your lovely comments! I enjoyed chatting back and forth with a couple of you! My email is listed in my profile, feel free to make use of it! I love hearing from all of you!
> 
> In advance, I'm sorry I was a mean cruel person. This moment was planned pretty much from the moment I sat down and laid the story out though so it's one of the key points I've been working towards.  
> In other news after this one, there are only three more chapters. Then I can start on the sequel, which I have a concept for but no actual story plan. It will pick up almost directly where this story leaves off. :)  
> ( _anything that looks like this,_ ) is in a specified foreign language.  
> -Aj

The last thing he remembered was experimenting with bubbles on the lawn with the kids and Opie well within sight of Yinsen. There had been the tickle of an electromagnetic pulse before there was a sharp pain in his neck and then darkness. 

What he knew now though was that he was cold, that he was laying on something hard and that there was a shivering little body next to his shoulders. Blinking his eyes open the first thing he saw was a stunningly beautiful woman of obvious Chinese decent. The smile she sent his way when she realized that he was awake was hard and cruel. Tony had seen kinder expressions on an activated Winter Soldier. 

Shifting himself up into a sitting position he caught sight of Cassie behind him. It seemed like Scott would have a legitimate reason to hate him now. Tony could still feel his watch on his wrist and in glancing around he noticed security cameras. It would be a matter of moments to disable those and re-purpose them into something useful, like a Taser. Tony was an old hat at being kidnapped, but he had no idea if all three kids were with him or if it was just Cassie who had to be grabbed. 

Once upright he grabbed the side of his head where it throbbed in time with his heartbeat as the Chinese woman in front of him called out in smooth Mandarin 

( _He’s awake, prepare the provocation._ )  
He closed his eyes so she wouldn’t see him rolling his eyes. Why did the bad guys never do their homework on him? It was a well-known fact that he spoke several languages fluently. He had learned two from every region of the world just so he would never be caught alone in a place where he would have to rely on a translator. Afghanistan had made him a little paranoid. His Pashto was probably the most practiced of his second languages.

He’d been speaking Mandarin since his first visit to Suzhou in nineteen-ninety-two for the opening of the New District, a technological, industrial park to entice members of the Asian-Pacific Economic Corporation countries into China. He had gone as a representative of Stark Industries because Obie had thought it would be a good place to open up a new weapons production factory. He had been twenty-two and infatuated with the exotic flair of the locals. He learned very quickly that he would be told one thing by the translator while something else entirely was being said. 

The scared whimper of a child brought his head snapping up and his eyes flying open. Tony wasn’t surprised to see Cooper and Lila being drug in, but he was dismayed. He caught a shimmer hovering behind the men who were manhandling the Barton smaller agents into the room. Tony prayed it was Opiekun and not his imagination. He was halfway to his feet when a sharp stiletto heel dug into his chest and pinned him back to the floor. 

Glaring up at the woman he waited. Her smirk was as frosty as every other expression had been as she crouched down over top of him and said, voice oddly and appealingly accented

“You see, Mr. Stark. I hold all the cards in this game. Now I suggest you give me what I want, and everyone goes home in one piece. No muss, no fuss as you would say.” Tony didn’t know what to do, his father had set a hard line that Tony had learned to appreciate later in life. Stark’s don’t negotiate with terrorist. But Tony himself had also been trained on how to deal with kidnappers. He was positive those harsh life lessons had been left out of the Barton and Lang afternoon lessons. With a shake of his head, he said

“What do you want?” The woman made a tisking sound at him before she said with clearly false disappointment

“You wound me, Mr. Stark. I thought for sure you would find my message. Especially after your comrades in arms stole one of my robots.” Tony didn’t sigh and didn’t break out the sarcasm, even though he wanted too. He would play games with his own life, but never the lives of children. They were too important. The children were the future. Giving the woman he assumed was Lotus a mocking smile he said

“Your confidence in my abilities is flattering, but it appears I might be rusty if you sent a note in your little robot of horror.” She tisked at him again before standing up and walking back over to her chair. Once upon a time her graceful movements would have had him drooling after her with the intent to claim her beauty for his bed. The air of danger that hovered around her like a cloak would have screamed a challenge to his hind-brain. These days Tony liked to think he was more sensible and probably in love because all her movements invoked was an aesthetic appreciation. She was beautiful, she knew it and used it to her advantage. Tony could appreciate that, even as he fervently wished that he was back in the Compound watching Clint’s eyes crinkle up in the corners as the archer laughed at something. 

Her pout was cute when she realized that he wasn’t interested and with a dramatic sigh she told him

“I want one of your Artificial Intelligence systems. My engineers have not been able to satisfy me with their efforts to reproduce robots of the caliber and responsiveness of the Iron Legion. I wish for my own legion you see as I have grand plans.” They always wanted his technology, always. With a sigh he said

“I can’t just give you one of my AI’s. Once they are installed, they can’t be moved.” She frowned at him more genuinely as she asked

“Do not play games with me, Mr. Stark. We know you moved your AI FRIDAY from the Avengers Compound to your pretty new home in Malibu. If your statement is true, how was this accomplished?” He shook his head and said

“I didn’t move FRIDAY. I deleted her and created her again in the Malibu house.” Her frown deepened before one of the goons, the one holding Cooper said in Mandarin 

( _He says he uninstalled from the compound and re-installed in Malibu, there was no data transfer. Like installing from a disk, he started with factory settings in the new install._ ) Tony almost nodded before he caught himself. It was to his advantage that they thought he didn’t know what they were saying. He looked at the man who had spoken and then back at Lotus as she thought about what the goon had said before nodding and declaring

“Then you shall build me my own system. I feel that this is fair, no? One Artificial Intelligence for the lives of three children?” Tony hesitated for only a split second. Access to a computer would allow him to send out a message, even if he had to program the AI to do it for him once it went online. Nodding he asked

“How do I know you will keep your word? If I do this, there had better not be a single hair on their heads damaged before they are released.” The viper smile he got from Lotus worried him. It struck him painfully of Raza which pulled up terrifying memories of scorched sand and burning bodies. Her answer was amused as she said

“You do not, but I have no interest in utilizing the children any further than ensuring your capitulation. They may even stay here so you may see them from time to time and assure yourself that they are in good health. Be sure that my threats are not idle Mr. Stark. I will go to any length necessary to achieve my goals, including torturing children.” Tony nodded, and Lotus apparently decided that was his agreement to the entire fiasco because she nodded to her goons, who immediately shoved Cooper and Lila at him before all three departed taking the chair with them. 

Shifting so his back was against the wall he sighed and asked

“Is everyone okay? Anything hurt or bleeding?” He got three soft “No, Mr. Tony” in response. Laying his head back against the wall Tony closed his eyes for a long moment. With a sigh, he opened them back up and looked at each child in turn. They were scared, Tony could have kicked himself. He offered a smile to them and said

“It’s okay I promise. I won’t let them hurt you.” They nodded back at him. After a long moment, he felt another EMP before Opiekun spoke up, turning off her cloaking

“Creator, Opie tried, Opie failed. Opie is sorry she has failed in keeping the children safe.” Tony smiled softly and said

“No baby girl, you’re doing good. You’re all doing good. I promise you are doing good.” The little robot dipped, and Tony asked

“How long do we have?” Opie beeped twice before she said

“Forty-five seconds.” Nodding Tony said

“I need all of you to listen. Whatever they do, whatever they say do not tell them anything. Do you understand?” Three heads nod at him and Opie dipped in her own version of a nod. Tony nodded back at them and said  
“Activate the bracelets if you haven’t. What you can do to help is to make sure those keep sending out a signal and remain attached to you. They will bring help and everything else will work itself out. Remember, do not tell them anything no matter what. Promise me.” They nodded and chorused “I promise.” Tony nodded and said

“Don’t forget now. Promises are sacred.” The goons burst into the room just as Opie turned her cloaking back on. Tony wasn’t surprised when he was grabbed and drug out of the room. 

They jabbed him in the side with a Taser forcing his compliance as all he could do for a long moment was twitch and jerk in the aftershocks. The room he was thrown into contained one computer which he might have designed while he was still at MIT. It was old, with a CRT monitor and a DOS operating system. He gave the setup an unimpressed look, he could code a new AI on it, but it was going to take forever. It had been nearly two decades since he had last written an Artificial Intelligence from scratch. And even longer since he had worked with a DOS system. With a sigh, he sat down and began the frustrating process of remembering the navigation commands. 

He had just started making progress when the goons came back, jabbed him with the Taser again before carting him back to the cell where the children were. He didn’t even try and catch himself when he was thrown into the room. As soon as the door shut he had three sets of varying sizes of small hands on him attempting to help him into a sitting position. With a muted groan he helped them help him and wasn’t surprised to get a girl under each shoulder cuddled close to his side. They were shaking, but Tony figured it was more from the cold than fear at this point. With a sigh, he reached out and pulled Cooper in close as well. Tony let their closeness soothe his worries that Lotus had lied about not touching the kids when he wasn’t in the room. Tony didn’t know how long they sat huddled together. His watch didn’t actually tell time so it wasn’t much use in keeping track of how long he was in any one place. He knew that Lila and Cassie fell asleep pressed against him, and that Cooper seemed to have developed a nervous habit of picking at the catch of his bracelet. The almost teenager whispered after while

“Do you think my Dad is going to come get us?” Tony let a ghost of a smile run across his face before he said

“Of course, your Dad is going to come get you. There’s nothing in the world that would stop him from getting you guys back.” He caught Cooper’s nod out of the corner of his eye before the kid said

“I’m glad you’re here Mr. Tony. I don’t know what we would have done if you weren’t.” Tony wanted to bite out a scathing comment that they wouldn’t even be in this position if they hadn’t been with him and literally bit his tongue to keep from saying it. Cooper didn’t need him to flay himself about his own shortcomings. All three of them needed him to be strong and to buy time for the Avengers to come rescue the children. So instead he closed his eyes and said

“I’ll do everything I can to keep you all safe. That I can promise.” Which was the last thing he remembered before rough hands were grabbing him and a Taser was being shoved in his side. With a resigned sigh, his mind told him that the cycle was beginning again. 

It was hours later that Lotus and her goons burst into the room with the computer. This time, though he could tell that something was immediately wrong. The goons carried what looked like Russian Kalashnikov rifles, and Lotus herself held a highly decorated forty-five caliber pistol in her hand. To Tony’s trained eye it looked like one of his original Stark pistol designs. In the corridor behind them, he could hear urgent panicked yelling in Mandarin. It was too garbled for him to make out anything. Lotus glared at him and demanded

“How did you signal them? How did they find you?” Tony shook his head, he didn’t actually know what she was talking about but assumed that the Avengers had followed the distress signals from the kids. Furious rage had overtaken the attractive features of the Lotus before she backhanded him with her gun asking again

“How did they find you?” He shook his head again. There was no way in hell he would tell them about the distress signals that they kids could send through those little bracelets. Bad guys gossiped worse than little old ladies, if he informed Lotus the next idiot to try for the kids would take the bracelets and Tony would have to come up with something new to keep them safe. Lotus hit him again, splitting his cheek and lip open. The metallic taste of blood filled his mouth before she snarled unintelligibly at him and said

“Last chance Mr. Stark, how did they find you?” He shook his head again and said

“I don’t know.” He watched her face harden as she took a step back and raised her gun. A sound very similar to a racket throughout the entire warehouse making her flinch which caused her to squeeze the trigger at the same time. The impact of the bullet didn’t hurt. It was like the shrapnel all over again. No pain, just a leaking feeling and coldness fading to black.

~*~  
Clint hadn’t given a second thought to Tony and the kids going outside. Tony would be careful, and Yinsen and Opie would both be keeping an eye on things. He had assumed that there would be enough warning for them all to get inside the Compound should anything happen. Clint had been wrong when Yinsen came over the Compound announcing system saying that Tony Stark, all three children, and Opie were missing, and he was sorry he seems to have been asleep. Clint assumed that was code for something, but a glance at Phil showed the other man didn’t understand the statement either. 

There was no note left, just some trampled grass and the remains of the bubble experiments that had been taking place. Clint took a deep breath, knowing that all five were well out of reach at this point. A hand on his shoulder goaded him into an attack, and he had a hand around Phil’s neck and was squeezing the life out of the former agent before either of them could blink. Clint got a heel to his knee and an elbow to his ribs. He thankfully missed the headbutt to his nose as he bent in response to the elbow to his ribs. His hold on Phil was broken, and he was taken in a headlock before he could get his wind back. He fought the hold on autopilot, and it was a long moment before he heard Phil’s voice in his ears saying

“Stop fighting me agent; stand down. They are fine, they are all alive. If they weren’t they would be here laying in the grass. Stop fighting. They have their distress signals and Stark won’t let anything happen to them. I promise we will get to them before anything happens.” Clint went limp as he started shaking. Nearly everything important to him had disappeared right from between his fingertips. 

Phil released him but made to immediately catch him as his knees buckled and he crumpled to the ground to wrap his arms around his middle staring out across the lawn in the direction the trampled grass went. Bowing his head, he said

“You can’t promise that we’ll get there in time, Phil. Not even you can know that.” There was a sigh from behind him before the former agent responded saying

“Then we’ll do our best and sort it out afterward. Just like we always have in the past.” Clint nodded and said as he stood back up

“I’m going to prep the quinjet, shit. No, I’m going to go tell Laura and then I’m going to prep the quinjet.” A hand on his arm stopped him. Clint turned to look at Phil as the man said

“No, just go prep the quinjet, I’ll tell Laura.” With a huff he snarked

“No offense Phil, but letting Laura know our kids have been kidnapped falls on my shoulders, not yours.” Phil nodded and stated

“Under normal circumstances, I would say yes, I agree. Except this time not only have your kids been taken but so has your lover. Let me do this for you Clint, I can’t ease the burden of guilt and worry, but I can do this.” 

Clint hesitated before nodding. Phil’s nod in response coincided with the firm squeeze to his arm before he was released and Phil was stalking across the lawn away from him. Looking over his shoulder in the direction his family had been taken Clint prayed nothing would happen to them. His faith was rocky at the best of times, having been exposed to the vast cruelties of life at a young age, but prayer had been important to his mother. The only memories he still had of her all revolved around prayer so he hoped she would keep an eye on Tony and his children until Clint could do it himself.

It was a tense few hours as they waited for more information. To say Clint was relieved when the distress signal was picked up would have been an understatement. The announcement of life signs: normal, dehydrated nearly made him weak in the knees. Taking a deep breath, he grabbed his bow and quiver. It was time to get his family back and when he did he wasn’t letting any of them out of his sight for a long time.

The warehouse they flew over once before landing looked exactly like the ones on either side of it. There was nothing to indicate that inside those walls were a bunch of idiots that Clint was going to take absolute pleasure in ripping to pieces. 

It was chaos once they were inside with men running back and forth yelling things that Clint didn’t understand and didn’t bother to follow. In his wake, he left body after body as he searched for his kids and Tony. Vaguely he could hear Phil in his ear directing different members of the Avengers and occasionally caught sight of Natasha as he butchered anyone who tried to stop his progress. They worked seamlessly as a team, like they always had, even though they hadn’t practiced together since before he had attempted to retire the first time. An open door caught his attention, and he threw himself into the room, looking for anything threatening.  
All he found though was Tony Stark bleeding out on the floor and an ancient computer. 

Terror froze him for a long moment thinking that Tony was already dead before the genius gave a weak cough. Clint was moving to kneel beside the genius and slinging his bow over a shoulder at the same time. He pressed down on the ever growing stain of red on Tony’s chest with his right hand as his left quested under the genius’s body looking for confirmation of an exit wound. Finding it Clint swore and did his best to put pressure on both wounds as he called for assistance. It worried him that Tony didn’t even moan in pain at the pressure. Natasha wasn’t behind him anymore, and he sent out another prayer that she had gone on looking for the kids. 

Things were a blur after that, partly from shock and adrenaline, partly from the tears he couldn’t hold back. There was a lot of blood on the floor and despite his best efforts more joined the puddle every second. Two solid arms grabbed him the moment the SHIELD medics shoved him out of their way. The rapid-fire medical speak going in one ear and out the other as he struggled to get back to Tony. His name being shouted in his ear brought him back down to earth a little, and he realized that Steve had been the one to grab him. Shaking his head, he said

“I’ve got to go with them.” Steve’s response was immediate and gentle but firm as he said

“Clint, your kids need you now. The medics have Stark and will do everything they can, your presence can’t do anything more for him than they can.” Shaking he nodded, Clint understood. Hated it, and hated Steve at that moment but Clint agreed. Clint had more responsibilities than just one genius inventor with a habit of not taking care of himself. Steve set him back down, and Clint turned to find Cooper, Lila, and Cassie all standing quietly next to Natasha. Going over to them he crouched down to their level and asked

“You guys alright?” He wanted to reach out and touch, hug them to him to reassure himself that they were alive and breathing and safe. Lila started forward, tears in her eyes but was wrapped up in Natasha’s arms as she caught his daughter. Lila didn’t make a fuss at getting Natasha over Clint, though, and he was glad, all of the kids had been through enough. Looking down at himself Clint winced. He was covered in blood, and he was pretty positive that most of it hadn’t come from Tony. Looking back up he gave Cassie and Cooper a crooked grin before he said

“It’s okay guys. I promise everything is fine now. You’re safe, and we are all going home.” Cassie’s soft voice asking

“Even Mr. Tony?” Clint nodded firmly and said in a voice that was far more assured than he felt

“Absolutely. Mr. Tony might even beat us there.” She nodded and clutched at Cooper’s arm. Standing up Clint said

“Let’s get you guys back to the quinjet so we can get you home.” The trip through the warehouse back to the jet was uneventful as most everyone who might oppose them was already dead or was fleeing from the Avengers. Once they were close enough, Phil threw him a package of baby wipes. He leaned against the warehouse and started laughing. As suddenly as he started, Clint couldn’t stop until he ran out of breath. When he could breathe again, Phil had hustled the kids on to the jet and Natasha was standing beside him using the wipes to gently clean off his hands. He watched her for a long moment before she said

“I told you a long time ago that I’d been compromised. I’ve never stopped being compromised when it comes to you Clint, and I think it’s long past time you knew that I trust you enough to fight for you and your friendship, even if it’s a losing fight. I think I’m getting there with the others. I’d like to know the person in the mirror this time around instead of just donning the next mask.” Clint nodded and said

“It’s not as easy as I make it look, you know.” She gave him a smirk before telling him

“I’ll make it look more effortless.” Grabbing a wipe from the package he started to help her before he told her

“Of course, you will, and then everyone one will once again raise the unstoppable Black Widow up into the limelight of recognition.” She gave him a disgruntled look before throwing the baby wipe she had been using at his head. This time, when he laughed, it wasn’t hysterical. They finished cleaning most of the blood off of him before they boarded quinjet. He managed to be mostly presentable enough for all three of the kids to curl up around him. Cassie pulling Scott down next to her so she could still be near her father as well. They were safe, and everyone was going home. Next, would come the part he hated, waiting. Waiting to know if his lover and friend would wake back up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't KILL ME!!!! The next chapter is done and is coming, I just have to run it through my grammar checker!  
> -Aj


	12. And with a Swell of Music

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The author recommends tissues, as she made herself cry writing some of this. 
> 
> We are on course for a happy ended! whoo!
> 
> ~*(^.=.^)*~ = if you don't know what this means by a dozen chapters...

He was still cold when he woke up next. This time with a pain in his chest that had him panicking and attempting to use his hands to feel for the car battery that he couldn’t find. The sound of alarms blaring registered before his wrists were grabbed firmly and held to his sides. His eyes snapped open to meet the worried gaze of an older woman who was clearly a nurse of some sort judging by the pink scrubs she was wearing. She took a deep breath and Tony mimicked her unconsciously. She did it again and raised an eyebrow when he didn’t immediately copy her once more. With a huff, he took another deep breath and silently admitted he felt better for it. The nurse lets go of his hands and asked

“Are we calm now Dr. Stark?” Nodding he started to shift up into a sitting position only to be stopped by the nurse’s hand on his chest. He scowled at her when she gave him a sunny smile and said

“Let me raise the bed for you Dr. Stark. Now you gave us quite the scare so best to take it easy for a while. Your CEO will be here in a few hours so I’d get as much rest as you can before hurricane Potts descends on us all. But if you’d rather not rest, there are a slew of visitors who’ve been waiting for you to wake up. We didn’t allow them in the room just in case you did exactly what you did when you woke. No need for the little ones to see such a sight.” Tony rolled his eyes. Where had they found this woman, she sounded like she’d popped out of a Seuss book. Reluctantly he had to smile at her chatter though as she continued on telling him in a kind no-nonsense tone what had happened to him and what had been done to fix it. Tony shook his head when he was upright and said

“Might as well send the horde in, the sooner they reassure themselves, the sooner they’ll stop bothering the staff.” He got an odd look before the nurse in pink, he still hadn’t caught her name, said

“I think they’ll surprise you there, Dr. Stark. We haven’t been able to pry the lot of them out of the waiting room since you arrived. Every last one of them worried sick about your welfare.” That didn’t fit in his world view. The only people to ever show that level of concern were Rhodey and Pepper, neither of which were in the waiting room. 

He assumed Clint would turn up at some point, but Tony didn’t think they were anywhere the stage of anxious waiting after grievous injury. Tony would have waited, but he was well aware he needed the people around him a lot more than they ever needed him. The nurse just shook her head at him before leaving the room. Her nonskid shoes squeaking quietly on the polished floors. 

He laid his head back on his pillow and looked at the ceiling for a long moment. Another near death experience dodged. His survival was becoming a startling trend he wasn’t sure what to do with, why did the powers the be keep sparing him? It was a well-documented fact that he was a terrible human being, even though he tried his best every day to do better. Most days he felt like he succeeded but there were a few where he knew that it was all just a lie to himself. 

The door to his room opening had him looking up to see Clint ushering in all three kids with Opie hovering over all four of them. Tony smiled at the children even as he tried to shoot the archer a look of concern. Clint looked beyond tired with dark smudges under his eyes. Before Tony could say anything about it his hospital bed was swarming with kids all attempting to hug him and one overly worried baby robot. He smiled openly at them and said

“It’s good to see you too, no need to smother a man.” He ruffled Cooper’s hair as the boy retreated to the end of bed. Shaking his head in fondness Tony opened his mouth to ask them a question when Lila babbled

“I’m glad you’re ok again Mr. Tony Mom kept trying to get us to leave, but Dad refused, even an order from Captain America, can you believe that? My Dad’s the coolest superhero ever. Anyways cause Dad refused to leave, Coop and I refuse to leave Dad so we’ve all been having the awesomest sleepover ever cause the nurses snuck us candy when no one was looking. Did you know Cassie’s super good with computers? She hacked into the network and got movies to play in the waiting room. As long as we kept the volume down so it didn’t disturb you, we were allowed to watch movies as long as we wanted. And Mr. Phil made the staff give us breakfast, and lunch, and dinner which was so cool cause they come on these trays with these circular covers over everything, and it’s like an adventure when you open them up cause you don’t know what you’re gonna get.” Tony just watched Lila in amusement as she continued to babble on with occasional inputs from the other two when she over embellished facts or forgot some apparently critical detail. 

Glancing up Tony caught sight of Clint leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed just watching. Tony held his hand out, the same way Clint was always doing with him asking silently for the archer to come closer and join the reunion. But he just got a negative head shake which Tony returned with a nod of his own before turning back to the kids and asking them over yet another retelling

“How long was I asleep?” He looked between the three of them and got two shrugs before Cooper said quietly

“Four days, it’s been four days since the warehouse.” Tony nodded and asked

“Do you remember what I asked you to promise me?” Three heads nodded at him so he followed his question up with 

“Do you remember what else I said when I asked for your promise?” He got negative head shakes from Lila and Cassie, but Cooper said

“You told us that the bracelets will bring help and everything else will work itself out.” Tony nodded and said

“Well, has everything else worked itself out?” Lila and Cassie had shared a look before they both shrugged and Cooper said

“Maybe, now that you’re awake.” Frowning Tony said

“You all are home safe and sound and with your families are you not?” They had nodded before Cassie burst out with

“But you weren’t with us, and it’s not home without you! It’s the worst when you leave cause you don’t come back for months and months and we want you here. You make science and math and history fun, lots better than that stupid tutor Mr. Phil found. I don’t care how good he’s supposed to be; he’s as dull as an old shoe.” He looked at each of them in turn and saw the worry and concern that had been hidden under the jubilance of seeing him awake for the first time in days. How many times had these rapscallions snuck past the nurse’s station to look in on him? Shooting a panicked look at the archer Clint gave him a tiny amused smile before saying

“Alright you lot, Mr. Tony needs to rest for a while so time for you to uphold your end of the bargain with your Mom.” There were groans as three kids slide off his bed, gave him a hug and shuffled out of the room. When the door had closed again, Clint finally moved forward to sit in the chair next to the bed. Tony watched him with concern. This was a side of Clint Tony had never seen, and he was sure it didn’t bode well. Looking down he smoothed his hands over the blanket on the bed pushing the wrinkles to either side of his legs. When he ran out of wrinkles, he found a loose thread to start picking at as the silence stretched into something painful. Tony started when Clint cleared his throat and said in a softly tortured voice

“You scared me you know? I thought I had lost you, and we haven’t, we aren’t even. Everything is still so new and fragile I thought I wouldn’t get the chance to prove that I love you, more than anything. You were so still, and there was so much blood. I couldn’t stop it, and all I kept thinking was how I’d never taken the chance. How I asked you to give me one chance and then I’d just kept waiting. For the right moment, the right time, and I know that nothing is sure. Not when the Avengers are involved, but I couldn’t keep waiting that one perfect moment because I thought I’d lost every moment.” Tony reached out and this time, Clint took his hand. He pulled attempting to tug the archer closer. The watery laugh his actions got he took as a good sign and when Clint was close enough Tony wrapped his arm around the archer’s waist and laid his head against a solid chest before he said

“I was scared too you know. I knew everyone would come for the kids, but I’ve never had anyone who I could look towards to bail me out when I’ve gotten in over my head. Not since leaving MIT and Rhodey going off to the Air Force. I figured as long as I could stall long enough for Yinsen to pick up the distress signals the kids would be rescued, that Opie would make sure they all went home in one piece. That was all that mattered. But I couldn’t help the little, whispered hope in the back of my head that you would come, for me. It was stupid, I know. The kids should come first, always. I just, it was cold, and I was cold, and it was like those first moments after the shrapnel hit me all cold without pain and I just wished you would come because I need you.” Strong arms came up and one wrapped around his shoulders while the other threaded into his hair the thumb tracing circles above the shell of his ear. There was a hitched breath under his head before Clint said voice hoarse

“Oh Tony, I’ll always come for you, even if I’m pissed as hell at you. If I can, I’ll always come for you. And I’ll always want you to return back to me too you know. Even if you’re mad as hell at me, I’d rather you be mad and _here_ than gone. I don’t know what I would do if you hadn’t made it but I know I’d be a wreck. There are so many little moments that I want, and I want them with you by my side. I just, just need you to know when you’re ready I want you here or if being here isn’t something you’re ever ready for then I’ll come to you. Easy as that, just together, please.” Tony nodded and whispered

“I’d like that, but I’m not. I’m not, I don’t deserve nice things, and you’re the best thing ever. I ruin nice things. Just ask Pepper. I’ll forget everything important and rarely be on time for anything. I’ll fly across the country without warning just because I felt like it. High maintenance, I’m superb at high maintenance.” The arms around him tightened gently as Clint released a pained little laugh before saying

“I think you’ve got me confused with someone else there, genius. I am definitely not a nice thing, though I will take the best thing ever. I’ve done horrible things. Willingly and actively done terrible things and I’ve got my own little shop of horrors lurking in my brain that torment me from time to time. I’ll forget things too, and I’ll leave on missions halfway around the world without any warning. At least when you’re on the other side of the country, I can call you and find out what’s going on. You won’t get that option. I don’t need anything more from you than that’ll you try and meet me halfway. Like you said, everything else will work itself out from there.” Tony laughed, and then groaned as the moment jostled his wound, shifting his free hand to the wound in his right side Tony pressed against the bandages he found there very delicately. It ached from front to back. With a sigh he let himself relax against Clint before he asked in a whisper

“Just halfway?” He got a kiss to his head before Clint replied

“Just halfway, that’s all I need. I just need you to keep trying, and I’ll do the same. It won’t always work out, I’ll do something stupid or you’ll do something idiotic and we’ll get mad, there might even be shouting, but just keep trying. I’ll love you until the day I die no matter what but I’d rather love you like this. Where I can touch, and soothe, and comfort. Where you are mine to hold and protect. Where I’m yours to receive the same care.” Tony nodded. He didn’t know what to say, it felt like he should say something, something reciprocating at least one of the declarations he’d gotten. Tony opened his mouth but Clint breathed out

“I know you love me, I’ve seen it in the way you relax around me, the way you trust me with your safety, and I know love isn’t something you’ve had a lot of experience with throughout your life. I don’t need you to say the words, I don’t need rearranged living situations. This is still new, and still fragile in all the most terrifying ways. I know that, I just almost lost you and that’s screwing with my head.” Tony nodded, he got that. As Tony closed his eyes, he allowed himself to relax further into Clint’s strength, letting the archer ground and anchor him in the now before Tony said

“I’m sorry you almost lost me, I was being careful I promise. I didn’t mean to scare you, or worry you. And I won’t promise that this will be the last time, because I’m terrible at keeping those promises. I can promise you that I need you. For a long time, I thought that Pepper was the only thing that could complete me because she was always there. But everything since that moment I walked off the transport returning from Afghanistan has been a journey she can’t understand, sometimes refuses to understand. It felt like there was this huge trashcan between us with all the things that I couldn’t talk to her about and in the end that’s where the relationship ended up. But somehow with you all those topics that scared me, and that I couldn’t talk about make more sense and don’t seem as insurmountable. It makes me want to be involved, to see what else just works.” Tony yawned and tried to stifle it but being leaned against Clint the archer felt the movement and immediately craned himself around. He heard an amused sound before Clint said, the archer’s voice distant as he lost the battle with consciousness

“You’re nearly asleep. Just let go, I’ll be here when you wake. I promise.” Tony nodded and let the warm darkness of sleep pull him under. 

~*~

Seeing Tony awake was one thing, hearing the genius was another, but the real kicker was the fond pleased look that having the kids swarm his hospital bed had garnered. The painful tight ball of terror and worry unraveled with every word, with every look, with every beep of the heart monitor. He stood by the door, just observing, seeing better from a distance. Clint knew that the moment he could touch Tony what little composure he’d manage to forcefully hang on to would crumble. So he shook his head no at Tony’s invitation. He could tell the genius was confused and worried, Clint must look as bad as he felt at that point. 

He did take pity on the genius when Cassie burst out and told the genius that home wasn’t home without him. Clint felt that sentiments like that were things that Tony Stark needed to hear, that the man was loved and cherished just for himself. Motioning them out the door and off to Laura to get a proper shower and to sleep in their own beds for at least one night Clint allowed the door to Tony’s room to slide shut with a soft snick before he lowered himself into the chair next to the bed. He swallowed once as he closed his eyes and the image of Tony laying so still in a pool of his own blood haunted him. Opening his eyes back up he noticed Tony fidgeting with his blanket and cleared his throat. He felt back when Tony started, and that one movement of unexpected surprise gave him the little nudge he needed to tell the genius the words he’d been rehearsing since they had been told that the genius was out of surgery and would wake up eventually. The doctors just didn’t know when. 

The conversation they had was painfully right. They weren’t quite on the same page yet, but things had been said that needed to be heard. Clint laid Tony down against the bed when he was sure the genius was out for the count. He perched on the edge for a long moment running his fingers through hair that was caked with grime and likely some blood. It didn’t bother him in the least, he just gently untangled the knots and snags. They stayed like that for a long time. The doctor came through and did her checks around Clint, something for which he was grateful for, the nurse came back in at one point and changed out an IV bag of something. Still, Clint just sat on the edge of the bed and watched Tony as he slept, alert to any signs of nightmares. 

Clint didn’t know how long he had sat there before fingers carding through the soft strands of hair at the nape of his neck pulled him back into the world. He turned his head and met the concerned gaze of Laura. He dredged up a smile for her and whispered

“He woke up for a while, we talked a little.” She nodded at him before saying

“You should get some rest too. It won’t do anyone any good if you end up in the bed next to him.” Clint shook his head and said

“I can’t, not yet.” Laura sighed and responded with

“Can I bargain with you for a shower and a change of clothes then? If I stay here and keep an eye on him? Or Phil can if you’d rather. The rest of the team is still in the waiting room. I’m sure any one of them would also be willing to stand watch for half an hour while you shower.” Clint hesitated before he nodded and said

“You win, I’ll shower. I promised him I would be here when he woke back up.” Laura had squeezed his shoulder before she said

“I’m sure he’ll understand. And if you shower I’ll talk the nurse into overlooking you curled up beside him as long as you promise to keep all your clothes where they are supposed to be, on your person.” Clint chuckled and with a real smile said

“You drive a hard bargain but deal. I’ll be back in a few if he wakes let him know okay?” She nodded, and he let himself be herded out into the hall. He dodged the waiting room not in the mood to answer the questions of his teammates. Once in his rooms, he stripped off his dirty clothes, noticing for the first time that he hadn’t been wearing his uniform and wondering when he’d been talked into changing out of the dirty blood-soaked garments. Pulling out baggy sweat pants and an old tee-shirt that was as soft as a baby’s blanket Clint meandered into the bathroom to shower. 

He couldn’t help but remember the surprise visit that had happened a mere thirty-six hours before Tony and the kids were taken. He had chosen to take a certain amount of pride in the knowledge that Tony had smelled of his soap the next day, had worn the mark Clint given him without shame. Clint sighed, perhaps it was time to revisit that retirement conversation with Phil again a little more seriously. He wanted to be able to spend time with Tony, he wanted to be there to watch his kids grow up. 

Cooper was already too big for Clint’s tastes. He could remember like it was just yesterday when they had brought home this tiny, fragile bundle of a new human. There had been nothing more perfect in Clint’s eyes than the sight of his son swaddled and asleep in his arms. Lila had been an unexpected surprise but no less perfect. Nate hadn’t been planned either, and he was pretty sure if he asked Laura she would tell him now that they were less dependent on each other for emotional stability that a baby had been the last thing they had needed as a couple. He loved his children and would always cherish them. 

Somewhere along the road though he had learned to love Tony nearly as much as he loved his children. The sheer breadth of the feeling terrified him alone. Clint was almost useless at just the thought of Tony being dead, he couldn’t imagine how much worse he would be if Tony had actually been dead. The image of Tony laying so still in a puddle of his own blood rose unbidden to the front of his mind. Bracing his hands against the cold tile Clint bowed his head and thanked everything, every deity, every person who might be looking out for him, that whoever had shot at the genius had made such an appallingly bad shot. 

The round had traveled through the liver and had exited out the back without actually hitting anything that would have caused severe complications. Yes, the liver was important, but there were so many other soft squishy inside things that could have been hit that would have taken the genius away from Clint in seconds no matter what he had done. Taking a deep steam filled breath Clint reminded himself that Tony was safe, was alive and well just a few floors down with the Avengers camped out in the waiting room and Laura and Yinsen on guard. Clint could afford to relax, at least a hair.

Stepping out of the shower to dry off he was surprised by a jaw-popping yawn. Pulling on the soft comforting clothes he snuck his way back into the medical facilities and into Tony’s room. Laura had apparently been busy as Tony had been moved out of a standard twin into something with a little extra room. He was nearly asleep himself when she pushed him in beside the genius. With Tony tucked in close, and an arm wrapped gently around Tony’s waist being mindful of the gunshot wound Clint found himself drifting off before the blanket was even pulled up over him. 

~*(^.=.^)*~

There was something wiggling behind him and another something wiggling down by his feet and possibly a third thing wiggling in the space in between Tony and the edge of the bed on the other side. Cracking an eye open he was immediately inundated with bright early morning sunlight and giggling. The noise of displeasure only made the giggles louder as Clint burrowed his head further into the pillow and the mop of acidic smelling hair in front of him. The something wiggling behind him poked at his shoulder several times before he mumbled

“Go bother your mother.” Which earned him the fourth set of giggles which were decidedly Laura like in their tone. With a soft groan, Clint shifted so he was one his back and not facing the dreaded hell sun before trying to open his eyes a second time. Looking around he had to blink hard a second time to make sure he saw things right. A balloon farm had grown sometime while he had been sleeping. He tossed an arm around the kid who had been behind him and realized that it was Cassie when he tugged her in close. He frowned at her for a long moment before Phil’s voice said

“Don’t mind him, he’s not upset. Just confused. Adult brains sometimes don’t work as well as kid brains and Clint’s frequently needs a jump start.” Clint took a sharp inhale as he slowly and gently pushed himself into a sitting position being careful not to wake Tony. 

Looking around Clint shook his head. It was too early to deal with so many people and so much light. He made a pleased noise when a cup of coffee was thrust under his nose as he lifted the arm cuddling Cassie close to grab it and take a long sip. Ultimately not caring about the damage he was doing to his tongue in the process. Feeling slightly more awake he looked around the room again and wondered when the Avengers had migrated. He raised an eyebrow in question at Laura who shrugged and said

“The cat drug them in with the milk this morning.” Clint shook his head again and asked

“When did King T’Challa arrive?” The only thing the resulting silence needed was a well-timed cricket noise before Phil said

“To the best of my knowledge, he has not arrived? I was unaware the King of Wakanda and Tony Stark were close.” Clint shrugged and said

“They’ve traveled in the same circles for two decades. I don’t know if I would call them friends or not. I’ve never seen them interact, but I do know that Tony gets calls from Wakanda about challenging tech problems on a regular enough basis that he’s got a separate ringer for the man.” He watched as both Phil and Steve took a long moment to process that fact before he turned to Laura and asked

“So really, why all the people?” Laura shrugged helplessly and said

“The kids begged to come and check on the two of you and somehow between saying yes to them and arriving in here, we gained the entirely of the Avengers.” Clint nodded and sipped his coffee at a more sedate pace acceptable to a grown man. There was a knock at the door, and the entire room turned to look at Shuri, Princess of Wakanda, as she entered the room two steps ahead of T’Challa himself. Clint smirked and said

“Speak of the devil.” The resulting smile was thrown his way preceded

“And he shall appear.” From the man himself. Clint chuckled and said

“Welcome, your majesty. I wish it could have been on better terms.” T’Challa bowed his head and said

“As do I, friend. Tell me, though, how is my favorite genius? I thought for sure that the report I was given said it was he who had been injured?” Clint nodded and said

“He’s hidden under the blanket and puppy pile of children. I’m hoping even with all the commotion that he’ll sleep for a little while longer. His white cell count is still down from the blood loss and sleep is the best medicine at this point.” T’Challa gave him a smirk before he said

“Well then, I shall have the honorable Yinsen inform me of his lucidity so that I can properly chastise him for giving Shuri more gray hair.” Clint eyed the lady in question for a long moment before he said

“Yes, I’m sure it’s Princess Shuri whose the one to find those gray hairs.” T’Challa laughed and nodded at him. Clint bowed as best he could from his pinned position next to Tony. Moments later both were gone. Clint got several moments of uninterrupted peace in which he could sip his coffee before chaos erupted. Looking at Lila, he rolled his eyes and got an answering eye roll from her. He had tousled Cooper’s hair before he asked Cassie

“So what did you guys get up to last night after you left? You give Mrs. B any problems?” Cassie shook her head and said

“She told me to call her Mom, that it would get too confusing otherwise.” Clint nodded and said

“That’s good advice, she already answers to that title anyways. So what’d you do, anything interesting?” Cassie and Lila immediate broke into mischievous grins while his oldest son just rolled his eyes and pulled a book out of his pocket. Leaning forward and lifting it slightly so he could see the cover Clint nodded in approval when he caught sight of the Hobbit and told Cooper

“Good book.” Before turning his attention back to the girls. Sipping his coffee he waited. It didn’t take long for Lila to start talking

“So we were going to put a bucket of water over our door, so anyone attempting to come in would get all wet, but Cassie said that someone might get hurt by the bucket falling so we had to come up with another way. Which was when I remembered that we had some big balloons leftover from a helium thing Mr. Tony was showing us before we got started on the bubbles. So we filled one up and propped it over the open door. Except we didn’t time it very well cause Mr. Phil came in just after we had finished setting the balloon up but before we had moved the chair so he pushed open the door and knocked into the chair which caused the balloon to fall and we got all wet. Mr. Phil thought it was funny but only cause he didn’t get wet. Cassie and me we weren’t so thrilled. Which got us a lecture on do unto others as you would have the do unto you. And we thought that maybe when Mr. Tony is out of medical that we could see if he would help up set up a prank that would actually work?” Clint shook his head and said

“I’m absolutely confident that Mr. Tony would love to help you. But on one condition okay?” Two pairs of wide innocent eyes stared up at him. One pale blue and one brown as he said

“Go after Mr. Steve instead of Mr. Phil okay? Or if you don’t want to use Mr. Steve go after any of the Avengers, but I’d only get Mr. Bruce outside cause big green and potentially mean might not understand you were just trying to be silly, and we wouldn’t want to damage the building ok?” Both heads had nodded in unison before Clint looked up to see the entire room staring at him. He smirked and asked in his best innocent voice

“Can I help you?” It was Sam who asked from a back corner

“Did you just give your kids permission to prank the Avengers? And the advice that if they are going after Bruce to do it outside?” Clint shrugged and said

“Pranks encourage creativity, research, teamwork, and ingenuity. Not a one of you can tell me those aren’t qualities which could benefit them. I’m also sure that in the list of rules the only stipulation was to leave Phil alone and to only get Bruce outside on the off chance of a Hulk-out. Pretty sure that means that the Avengers could if they so choose to stoop to the level of a pair of children have ample opportunity to return the gesture.” Sam looked at him, opened his mouth, closed his mouth and then uttered a huh noise when he thought the conversation over. Steve smirked at him and asked

“Do unto other again?” Clint nodded and said

“It’s a good lesson too.” A glance at Laura showed him a thoughtful look on her face before she said

“I have a couple more rules. Tony Stark is to be left as a consultant. I’ll call the entire thing off if that happens. Every substance used had best be immediately washable, and all colors and smells had best come off with a little soap.” Clint smiled in amusement as the entire room nodded promptly following Laura’s announcement. The girls even piped up with “Yes, Mom.” 

Tony took that moment to stir and ask, words slurred with sleep

“Waz’is bout pranks? I’m in, just let me coffee.” Clint felt his smile grow as he turned to look down at Tony. Clint leaned down and kissed Tony’s temple before shifting Cassie slightly so he could help Tony sit up if he wanted to be upright. Clint figured that the genius would want to, given that Steve was in the room. Clint knew they had managed a single conversation, but one conversation did not beget forgiveness and trust make. That rift would take time and effort, likely a lot more effort on Steve’s part than on Tony’s. 

Once upright Tony leaned his head against Clint should and asked

“What was all that about pranks? Rhodey and I pulled some epic ones while we were still at MIT together. And coffee? Is that an acceptable breakfast at this point?” Clint chuckled and said

“I don’t think you’re going to be allowed coffee, you probably won’t even be allowed out of bed until tomorrow.” The doctor barged into the room at just that moment and said

“Not necessarily. Mr. Stark apparently has a unique biology as the last test we ran have come back healthy so as long as the stitches are healing well, I don’t see why mobility shouldn’t be encouraged.” Clint caught Tony’s smirk out of the corner of his eye while he watched the Avengers get pushed into the hall by Phil while Laura grabbed the kids. In moments every single person who had been crowding into the room had left. Clint blinked for a moment before asking

“You want me to leave too?” The negative response was heartening before Tony said

“You might as well say, I would have told you eventually anyway.” Clint nodded as the doctor said

“If our tests are correct Mr. Stark it seems as if there is a chemical in your blood which is repairing the damage you sustained from the inside out, a bit like the super soldier serum only at a much slower rate.” Clint blinked, Tony had somehow given himself a healing factor, that was interesting. The genius nodded and said

“It’s what extremis was supposed to be before its creator sold out. No, you can’t have the formula, no you can’t document it on my charts, no you can’t have a sample of my blood for testing, and yes you must destroy any sample you have already taken. All of this was covered in your terms of employment.” The doctor looked outraged. Clint could understand where she was coming from as she said

“But think of all the good it could do!” He watched as Tony nodded in response and said

“Yes, all the good it could do to exactly point zero, zero two percent of the entire global population, ninety-eight percent of that point zero, zero two being white Caucasians of Norse descendants with what we are going to call pure breeding to very distinct genomes. It’s not a cure-all, it’s not a fix, and the side effects when someone is not compatible are not worth the potential benefits. Would you like to be responsible for turning people into bombs when doctors don’t follow the required guidelines?” The doctor shook her head and said

“I didn’t know.” He watched Tony nod again before saying

“You didn’t need to know. The world has plenty of Pandora’s boxes open, and I’ve provided the world enough. This one will stay a secret. The regeneration is slow enough that I’m still considered normal with the only other standards being the Super Soldier Serum for comparison. I promise you I have had several conversations about this very topic with Director Coulson.” The doctor nodded and said

“We’ll check how everything is healing when we change the dressing after your breakfast. The nurse should be bringing it at any moment.” Clint sipped his coffee as Tony nodded again. Once she was out of the room Clint asked

“How on earth were you going to manage to bring that one up in conversation?” He smirked as Tony winced and said

“Likely poorly with a dash of having two separate conversations at the same time again thrown in for good measure.” Clint nodded and said seriously

“I was serious about what I said last night. I don’t know if you actually remember talking with me, though.” He watched Tony fiddle with the blanket for a long minute before the genius asked

“You really love me, and you’re really ok with me not reciprocating your declaration?” Clint smirked, handed his coffee cup over to the genius to a happy noise before leaning back and pulling Tony into his side. Clint had sighed before he said

“I know you love me, you show me all the time. In the way you are willing to drop everything because I asked you to come eat dinner with me. The way you always answer my call, even when I forget about the time change between us and call you ridiculously early in the morning. In the way that little things get added to my apartment regularly that make my life just a little easier. Don’t think I don’t know it was you who had the storage hooks for my bow and quiver put in exactly where I would want them. The way you do your best to reassure me even when you don’t even know what you feel. Every day, in every moment you show me in little ways that you care about me and that you trust me and that you love me. So would I like to hear you say you love me, absolutely; but that can wait until you’re sure it’s something you want to say. I will continue to know whether or tell me or not.” Tony nodded against his shoulder and whispered

“A man with everything and nothing. Maybe not so much on the nothing.” Clint smiled and gently squeezed Tony. He thought that they were going to be just fine. It would take a few days for Clint to stop being so paranoid about both Tony and the kids but he would get there. If Clint was any judge it seemed like Tony was starting to understand that he was a necessary member of their strange family in the Compound and that just because he was no longer Iron Man, didn’t mean he wasn’t needed. Shimming down slightly so he could rest his head back against the pillows and against Tony’s head and sighed in content. His world perfect for a single moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised! No death or partially rotten vegetables delivered in a thrown manner?  
> -Aj


	13. The Show Goes On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some well-deserved apologies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So all that's left after this is the epilogue, which I'll post in just a minute. I'd like to thank all of you absolutely wonderful people who took the time to leave a comment or give me kudos. Each and every email I got from AO3 informing me of new ones was a thrill and a delight. 
> 
> There will be one more chapter after the Epilogue that will contain a teaser for the sequel, The Piper's Price, which will focus on Bucky and integrate him into my new utopia. I will also post the final proof of the Tony tattoo there as well for anyone who is a visual person like myself. 
> 
> ~*~ and ~*(^.=.^)*~ you all know the drill with this :)  
> -Aj

Many people who watched him work assumed that the quiet unnerved him, why else would anyone play music at deafening volumes? Contrary to the popular belief though Tony Stark liked the quiet, liked the stillness a silent room offered. Silence meant potential; it was an opportunity that sparked a thousand ideas and thoughts. The silence was his blank canvas. 

Silence in his medical room was of a different quality than what he was used to in his workshop. Here instead of the complete lack of sound, there were little imperfections. The forced air that circulated through the room created its own music, the balloons which adorned every available surface bumped together making an irregular beat. The sound of non-skid shoes on polished well-waxed floors were the treble to the music of his thoughts today. 

At that moment his thoughts were revolving around his email and why some idiot thought to add plastic to a heater was a good idea. He was wading his way through the email chain when the door to his room banged open, and Pepper Potts stalked in, perfectly pressed as always. Tony sighed, made a mental note of the email he had just finished reading on the ducklings efforts to fix the issues the plastic had brought to light and turned off the Stark pad. Shifting so his full attention was on Pepper he waited. She gave him a watery smile before she demanded

“Is this going to become a thing again Tony? Am I going to start getting calls saying you went off to be a hero and almost died again? Because I have to tell you, I can’t deal with that again.” Leaning back on his hands he regarded her carefully before he told her point blank

“It wasn’t a thing this time. I was outside on the lawn with the Barton children and Cassie Lang showing them how viscosity works. The next memory I have after that is waking up in a cell in some warehouse and the villain of the day staring at me like a creep and telling me that to keep the children safe I have to give over an AI. I’m not going back to pretending to be a hero. The status quo hasn’t changed since the last time we talked, no matter what it looks like from the outside.” He watched as she nodded and looked down to smooth, invisible wrinkles out of her suit skirt. She looked back up at him with a sniffle and said

“I’m glad that you were here when they kidnapped you and that Phil was able to let me know immediately that you were missing. I hate getting those calls Tony, we may not be together, but you’re still all I’ve got, and I don’t like seeing you hurt.” He smiled at her as she sniffled again before looking at him sternly and demanding

“You had best do everything in your power to make sure I never get another phone call saying you’ve gone missing or so help me god I am going to quit and then you’ll have to figure out how to run your company by yourself. I swear it, Tony, don’t push me on this.” He chuckled at her and said

“No, you won’t. Besides I know you already tried that, Ford Motor Company called me when you expressed interest in their international executive position asking why I was letting you slip out of my grasp. Your package is nearly double what a male CEO in your same situation would make with better benefits. I might have been dying when I gave you my company, but I wasn’t an idiot about it.” She huffed at him and asked

“Why couldn’t you have been like every other male company owner and paid me seventy-five cents on the dollar of what my male counterparts make in the same position? Then I’d have something to complain about, but no, you had to go and be all ahead of the curve setting new industry standards. You futurists, you are all the same.” Shrugging a shoulder, he gave her a crooked smile and told her

“I wanted to make sure you had a damn good reason to stay after I was gone. Then I was alive and wasn’t entirely sure what to do with myself, and then the alien invasion happened, and the Avengers became a real thing and then the Accords happened, and the Avengers were no longer a thing. It’s been a long, tough road trying to find out which path is the one I should stick to walking. I think I’m doing pretty good at living up to expectations these days.” He watched her sniff again before she said

“My hairdresser would love you if you went back to being an Avenger but let’s not go there again ok?” Smirking Tony asked

“But I thought it would be fun to pull a Clint and go into fights with an outdated weapon and as little body armor as I can convince the quartermasters to let me out in?” She giggled before settling back in the chair with less propriety. She shook her head, and he said

“I’m fine Pep, I promise. Extremis is doing its thing, my body is doing the rest, and I’ve even started to catch up on my internal office email in the copious amounts of free time I’ve found on my hands today.” She huffed at him before starting

“Of course now that we aren’t dating you decide to be a grown-up.” Tony laughed and said

“Well I’ve got this boss, she’s a real stickler for internal office mail. Sometimes she even quizzes me.” She laughed again. Looking over at a set of atrociously pink balloons that could only have come from Rhodey he said

“I’m thinking of relocating again. I know I haven’t been in Malibu for long but the important things in my life are here, and I think I’ve started missing having people around.” Pepper regarded his critically for a long moment before she said, voice with a hint of snide jealousy

“Wow, things must be going really well with Clint, Is he that good in bed?” Tony gave her a knowing look before saying

“Green’s not a good color on you Pepper, and for your information, that’s none of your business. My relationship with Clint is going well, and I think I might be happy.” She rolled her eyes at him before she asked

“I suppose you’ll be wanting to move back into the penthouse then? I can have my things moved by the end of the week into one of the other suites. It’s not like we don’t have enough of them within the tower or anything.” Smirking Tony said

“I was actually planning on moving back in here. I was considering some renovations.” He watched Pepper roll her eyes again, heard her mumbled ‘oh lord here we go’, and noticed as she visibly readied herself for whatever mad scheme he had thought up. Smirking Tony pulled up the rough sketch he had done earlier and started explaining his idea. When she sat back, there was a thoughtful look on her face before she remarked

“You’ve changed, Tony. And I think it’s for the better this time.” Tony shrugged, but Pepper continued before he could form a reply

“I think I knew when you stepped off of that plane after Afghanistan. I think I knew then that where you were going, I wouldn’t be able to follow. I tried, but you were flying a hundred miles an hour straight into the ground, and I couldn’t do that. The Avengers, though, and the quirky people that make up the team, could where I fell short. These larger than life personalities were just what you needed, they were your peers in ways that Rhodey, Happy and I just couldn’t quite manage to be. I hated them for a very long time because they could do, could be something I was incapable of becoming.” Tony swallowed painfully before looking away from Pepper. He hated knowing he had hurt her so badly. She had laughed a little before she said

“I’m glad you seem to have found your place Tony; you deserve to be happy just like all the rest of us. Now I’m going to go pick out your I’m sorry for making you worry about me present, and you are going to do a legitimate mockup of those renovations of yours so you can send them to me for approval. I don’t want you scandalizing Phil, I like him too much to let you do that to him.” He looked back at her and said

“Will that be all Ms. Potts?” Her smile was bright like he remembered it from before their mess had started as she said

“That will be all Mr. Stark.” She was gone from his room seconds later but the smile her visit had produced remained. 

~*(^.=.^)*~

Tony was busy arguing the merits of electrical wiring placements with FRIDAY through his phone when there was a knock on his door. Absently he attempted to call for whoever was at his door to come in, completely forgetting that his stylus was between his teeth. The results were a mumbled come in, a bit of swearing as he dropped the stylus followed by ‘Come in” that was understandable. Tony had immediately gone back to his blueprints. Determined to have them finished and sent off for Pepper Approval before she returned to her office. 

Tony glanced up when there was a cough at the door to see Steve fucking Rogers with his head stuck in the door. The super soldier ducked his head slightly when Steve realized he had gotten the attention he wanted before asking

“May I come in?” Tony made a huh noise before saying

“Yea, sure. Whatever. Come in, sit down we can do that.” He watched as Steve nodded and took a couple hesitant steps further into the room with a furtive glance over a shoulder. Smirking Tony cocked his head to the side, crossed his arms over his chest effectively hiding his shaking hands and asked with an arrogant smirk

“Bending the rules a little today are we Steve?” The immediate blush that raced up Steve’s neck turning his face a delightful shade of shameful coupled with his sheepish demeanor made Tony chuckle for a moment before saying

“If you don’t get caught, I don’t say anything.” Watching Steve carefully Tony noticed that the other man closed his eyes before taking a deep breath and saying

“Thank you, I’d appreciate that.” Tony nodded, aware that Steve’s eyes were still closed before speaking in a more normal tone

“Come in, sit. I don’t bite unless commanded and you’re not my type Rogers.” Tony was thrilled to watch the blush that had been slowly receding stain the super soldier’s cheeks once more while Steve himself looked at Tony in stunned shock. Chuckling at the super soldier, Tony demanded with a downward flick of a pointed finger

“Sit, that’s ordered.” Blinking in shock as Steve immediately hurried to comply, Tony made a mental note that Steve followed orders when flustered before regarding the super soldier for a long moment. Shaking his head, Tony asked

“Why are you here, Rogers?” Watching Tony almost envied the military training that was always present in Steve. The man didn’t fidget, yet at the same time still managed to give the impression of fidgeting. Tony waited, Yinsen would have sent a text off to Phil the moment Steve walked through the door alerting the Director of the potential for problems as a precaution. After a long moment of waiting, a skill Tony had learned from Clint, Steve let out a breath and started

“I’m glad you’re alright.” Which was not what Tony was expecting. Where were the lectures about not putting himself in harm’s way? Where were the accusations about taking unnecessary risks? Where were the snide little comments that seemed like they were worded to piss him off? Eyeing the super soldier warily Tony asked

“Are you a pod person? Do we need to start looking for the real Steve Rogers?” With a horrified thought, Tony ordered

“Yinsen, initiate biometric scans for identity verification of Captain America.” Half a second later Yinsen and Steve were both talking at once saying

“No, Tony. I’m not, you don’t, I’m me damn it.” 

“As you wish, Stark.” 

With a decisive nod, Tony said

“Continue running the scans, announce the results when finished.” Looking back at Steve, Tony was amused to find the super soldier, a man with abnormally good posture, leaned back in the visitor’s chair slouched with his arms crossed over his chest with an amused exasperated look on his face. Before Tony could comment on the less than normal behavior Yinsen announced

“All scans returned within standard error margins. I have also been directed to inform you that I am not your personal Artificial Intelligence and that Director Coulson has better things for me to do with my processing power than cosset you while within these walls.” Throwing a hand over his heart with overdone dramatics Tony declared

“You wound me! My own child! That’s it, you’re out of the will.” The AI without even missing a beat responded dryly to his dramatics

“It is my greatest pleasure to exceed your expectations of mediocracy.” With a disgruntled look towards the nearest sensor bar Tony replied

“You’ve been spending too much time with Scott. You’ve picked up his unfortunate sense of humor. Now, enough sass out of you, go bother Phil. Daddy’s got grown up talk to handle.” The ‘as you wish, Stark’ was muted as Tony turned back to Steve and was relieved to see a thoroughly amused smile on the soldier’s face. Nodding Tony asked again

“Why are you here Rogers? You wouldn’t have snuck in, likely against Phil’s orders, without a reason.” Tony watched the shrug that rolled through Steve’s shoulders before the man asked

“I don’t know?” Closing his eyes, Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. Why couldn’t people be more like machines? Machines told you what was wrong, there was a noise or a leak or a smell that wasn’t supposed to be there which informed someone like Tony that there was a problem and gave the initial starting points to find out what was wrong. People, on the other hand, were all smiles and lies when they were battering themselves to pieces under the surface. Tony Stark was a master of that redirection. With a deep breath, he asked

“Seriously Steve, why are you here?” With his eyes closed, he couldn’t see any sort of physical reaction from the super soldier so it was a long moment before Tony heard

“I’ve started realizing just how unbalanced everything is around here. Not just with Iron Man gone, but also with Tony Stark gone. I keep listening for you to walk into a room with a smart quip and an insult. It’s like that every time you’re not here. The echo of your presence lingering like a stubborn ghost. I never thought I could miss someone like you. Someone so loud and brash and disrespectful, but somehow I do. Initially, when I thought to come and see you, I had a vague plan of apologizing or attempting too, again. But then I got to your door, and it just sort of hit me, what everyone had been trying to tell me in their own ways. I’ve been a really shitty friend, and I don’t want to go back to that, I want to move forward and maybe someday actually get back to being friends. The right way. I think it was you who told me once that doing the same thing expecting different results is the definition of insanity so, this is me trying something new.” 

With a tilt of his head, Tony opened his eyes and considered Steve and his words. Spinning the blueprint with his fingers while he thought for a long moment before he said

“I can’t trust you, not won’t; can’t. And no matter what you think or don’t think Iron Man isn’t coming back ever. We still aren’t good, maybe we won’t ever be good, but I’ve learned a few things since Siberia. I can’t stay angry anymore. But don’t take a lack of animosity as forgiveness. My civility has everything to do with my found family and absolutely nothing to do with you or your actions. Just promise me that no matter what it is you find out if you know information about either of my families that you let someone know. I don’t care how well or how poorly you manage it, just stop keeping those secrets.” 

Looking back up at Steve Tony wasn’t surprised to see the disappointed look on the super soldier’s face. The man rubbed the back of his neck before nodding and saying

“I can do that, I think. Or at least I can try, it’s been brought to my attention that I’ve been just as bad as the teammates I chastised at keeping secrets.” Rolling his eyes Tony remarked

“Yea, I’m well aware.” A cough from the door pulled both of their attentions to Clint, who was in jeans and a tee-shirt leaning against the door jamb hands stuffed into his pockets. Smiling brightly Tony saved the blueprints and hide them. It wouldn’t do to ruin the surprise. The three of them stayed there for a long moment before Clint stated

“Phil, and recently, myself are notified every time you are in the same room as Tony. Each and every encounter is monitored and recorded through all means available to ensure the safety and well-being of all parties involved.” Tony, frowning, asked

“When did that change? I didn’t know you were notified.” He had watched Clint shrug before the archer said

“After the cyborg encounter.” Nodding Tony asked

“Is that why you showed up at breakfast?” He had got a nod before Clint said to Steve

“Just keep that in mind if you ever get it into your head to lose your shit and decide to take it out on Tony Stark again. Someone is always aware, and you’re always being watched.” He watched Clint push himself up and off the jamb before the archer leisurely made his way across the room. Tony watched Steve watching Clint before the super soldier said

“I’ll keep that in mind.” As Clint nodded, Steve made a hasty exit. Staring at the door with a frown Tony asked

“You know I can take care of myself, right? That I don’t need you riding to my rescue as if I was some fictional damsel in distress?” He got a kiss on his cheek before the archer settled himself on the corner of the bed avoiding the mess Tony had made everywhere else. Turning to face the archer Tony glared. The look he got in response was a thoughtful observation before Clint told him

“Your ability to take care of yourself is debatable. I will agree that you don’t need me riding to your rescue.” Rolling his eyes with a huff, he took two steps into Clint’s space. He rested his hands on the archer’s knees and leaned forward slightly before stating

“I don’t need you to fight for me, not even against Steve fucking Rogers. I don’t need you to save me, even against Steve fucking Rogers, and I don’t need you to wrap me in bubble wrap to protect me from all of life’s little evils. I’ve been dealing with this shit and more since I was four without anyone’s help.” Clint’s hands coming up and wrapping gently around his wrists derailed his thoughts. Clint’s hands were always so warm. The corner of his mouth was kissed before Clint said softly

“I know all that Tony. I don’t want to fight for you, someone who needs me to fight for them is a pretty big turn off when it comes to me and relationships. I want to fight with you, because you and me? We’re a team, and that’s what teams do. They watch each other’s backs.” One of those hands came up to cup his jaw, the thumb gently tracing over his cheekbone before Clint continued in that same soft tone  
“You aren’t my damsel in distress, you aren’t my princess. I don’t want you to be; I want you to continue to challenge me every step of the way, I want you to stand up for yourself to everyone because I don’t think you’ve done that enough in your life. I want to be there by your side when propping yourself up gets to be too much. I want to shelter you from the world when they’ve found one of your many soft spots until you can face them again.” Tony let himself be pulled forward until his forehead rested against Clint’s shoulder. There were gentle fingers in his hair as Clint finished 

“I know the alerts from Yinsen aren’t anything but you being cautious and I approve of them. The man nearly bludgeoned you to death in a frozen wasteland far from human habitation. If it wasn’t for a couple strokes of Stark luck, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. You could have been lost to the world in Siberia and again just a few days ago. The last thing in the world that I want to do is attend your funeral.” Tony felt Clint take a shuttering breath under his forehead as the archer whispered

“I promised that I would always come for you, that’s not an idle promise. Whether you're lost out in the world or going face to face with Steve Rogers I’m going to do everything in my power to show up, because I promised to be there.” Tony relaxed into Clint as the archer’s arms wrapped around his shoulders. Smirking to himself he said

“I’m sorry. This is all new and strange. I guess it’s going to take some time for my head to wrap around the concept that this isn’t some horrid joke at my expense. I’ve, uh, got a history with that.” Tony could literally hear the smirk in Clint’s voice as the archer responded

“Guess it’s a good thing I’m patient then huh?” Amusement turned his grin into an actual smile before he said

“Might be your most attractive trait.” Tony could feel his smile grow when Clint laughed softly. It was quiet for a long moment before Tony asked 

“Just halfway?” He got fingers carding through his hair once more before Clint agreed

“Just halfway.”

~*(^.=.^)*~

Phil came and drug Clint off by the ear just after lunch. Tony tried to be sympathetic and managed just long enough for the pair to get out of the door before he was snickering into his pillow. The nurse in pink came in after that and took out of stitches and told him he was free to leave the medical facility but he was to return immediately if he started feeling woozy, unusually hot or cold, or if the wound started feeling overly warm. Suppressing his eye roll until he was well out of reach of the nurse in pink Tony smirked and made his way to his once workshop. He had a couple of ideas that he wanted to get mocked up and sent off to FRIDAY to run the numbers on and a set of blueprints to finish. The holo table in the workshop would work better for that than the Stark pad he had been working with most of the morning.  
He had finished the blueprints and sent them off to Pepper for approval and had started work on fabric that would mimic how the reflector panels of the helicarrier cloaked the airship. The initial mockup was looking good, stable even which was a plus when the door to his workshop slide open. 

Glancing up he was surprised to see T’Challa standing there, eyes darting back and forth as the King of Wakanda read over the apology letter Steve had originally sent. Tony liked the aesthetic of having it displayed on the wall still. It was a reminder that just because Steve was actively trying to be friendly with Tony didn’t mean that the man had actually changed anything. 

Saving his progress and closing the project for the minute Tony turned his full attention on T’Challa. The man looked the same as ever, and Tony would be lying if he tried to say he hadn’t had a crush on the once prince. Smirking when mahogany eyes turned to him in bewilderment. Tony just shrugs in response to the look before he said

“It was mailed to me while they were on the run in your country. I honestly have no idea what the actual intent of the letter should have been, but as you can see it’s just a piece of crap.” The man had shaken his head before he asked

“You didn’t actually forgive him if that was his apology?” Smirking widely and throwing his hands out to either side Tony declared

“Who me? Never.” T’Challa chuckled for a moment before asking

“Are you alright my friend? I was displeased to get Director Coulson’s report to the UN on my way across the Atlantic. I had hoped that by stepping down you would once more be safe from those wishing to kill you so readily.” Sighing Tony looked around the room, the fabricators were silent and still, it was an unusual sight that bothered him. Looking away his eyes were drawn to the letter on the wall before Tony said

“And I might be safe if I could manage to keep away from the Avengers but for some reason, I seem to care about them. They might be world class idiots, but they are my idiots, and I’m coming to the realization that it’ll just be best for the long run if I just accept that fact and figure out how to work with it instead of against it.” He watched T’Challa take a seat in one of the spare stools scattered throughout the space before the other man told him

“A wise man once said that we are drawn to those who will help us most to grow if we let them and if we reciprocate their kindness in return. That being said, I do worry about your health while here. There were very toxic opinions of yourself when the Avengers last graced my halls.” Tony nodded and said

“I’ve gotten a few tastes of that toxicity that you mention. Not this trip, but the last one out, when I was installing Yinsen.” Tony loved listening to T’Challa’s chuckle. It was smooth like the best dark chocolate and always seemed to make something melt inside Tony. Smiling in return, Tony waited, T’Challa wouldn’t have flown halfway around the world just to check on Tony. The man had already said that he was already over the Atlantic when he received the report. In an unusual show of uncertainty Tony was a witness too, T’Challa told him

“I’ve taken your counsel to heart and have requested from your Director permission to bring James Barnes here to the Avengers Compound so my specialist can trigger the Winter Soldier. Helen Cho threatened to pull out of the program entirely if we were going to insist on listening to Steve Rogers on how to deal with the microchips in Mr. Barnes’s head. So I, for one, am glad that you are here and not in Malibu. It means one fewer flights.” Tony nodded as T’Challa continued

“I must tender my apologies. I was an appalling scientist and a worse friend when I came to you for counsel on a matter which neither of us is a specialist and then promptly disregarded your advice because it was not within the wishes of the family. My dismissal of your solid advice on how to proceed was uncalled for and out of line. I hope for our friendship we will be able to put this instance of a lack of trust behind us to forge a stronger bond in future engagements.” Shaking his head, Tony said

“Always so formal with you T’Challa. You could have just said: ‘hey sorry I was a dick, I wasn’t thinking things through are we good?’ and I would have responded with: ‘yeah sure, whatever. No hard feelings.’” Shaking his head again Tony finished by telling T’Challa

“Anyway, apologies accepted. I didn’t even realize that there was something that required an apology in the first place.” This time, it was T’Challa who laughed. Deep gruffs of humor filled his workshop before the door slide open once more and admitted Shuri. The woman smiled at the two of them before saying

“I told him that he was worrying over nothing, I’m glad to be right again. How many is that now brother?” Tony shook his head before T’Challa sighed and admitted

“Too many, you would have been the better choice for heir.” Tony watched as the woman shrugged elegantly before she said

“You were father’s choice, and I respect that, mostly. Come, it is time for us to depart and I would like to sleep in my own bed at some point this week.” Tony watched as the man gracefully rose from his seat before holding out a hand towards Tony. Standing Tony shook T’Challa’s hand and saw the man out. 

Once he was gone Tony shook his head and wondered if he should have asked if the King of Wakanda would be interested in attending the same-sex marriage if he and Clint ever got to that point. It would tickle his funny bone to be given away by the King of Wakanda in replacement for Howard. Poetic as well really because it had been T’Challa who, by example, had shown Tony how to do business without abusing his competitors in the process. Smiling Tony pulled his fabric back up and lost himself in chemical formulae. 

~*(^.=.^)*~

The clock Yinsen was displaying to him informed him that it was an estimated forty-five minutes until he needed to wander off for supper when the workshop doors swished open again. Blinking as he looked up he was surprised to see Natasha hovering in the doorway. Blinking again he slides his chair into her view and waited. He hadn’t even seen Natasha since the disastrous debrief he had walked out of the last time he had been at the Compound.

Watching as she squared her shoulders, took a breath and nearly marched up to him set his nerves on edge. He and Natasha had been on good terms before the Accords. Both of them finding solace in another person who knew what it was like to always wear a mask. He didn’t smile in greeting as she walked over to him and her face didn’t change from her blank look that she used to protect herself when she was feeling the most vulnerable. Tony waited when she stopped in front of him. Looking her over he had to wonder what he been keeping her busy. There was a bruise on her wrist barely hidden by her long sleeve shirt.

“You have every right not to trust me ever again, and I’ll understand if that’s the path you chose. I want you to know though that I’m sorry, for taking my anger and fear out on you, for running away, for letting Steve go even though it was the right thing to do.” Tony nodded and said

“Seems my day to receive apologies. I wish you’d trusted me but we were something of friends once upon a time, and I’d like to think that meant something.” He watched as she hesitated before releasing a breath and deflating slightly before saying

“I didn’t want to assume that would hold any sway after everything.” Giving her a crooked smile he told her

“Yeah, I get that. So I guess we’re stuck then cause I don’t feel there is anything that you need to apologize for, if you hadn’t left I would have sent you away. Even you can see that it was an all or nothing situation. I either needed all of the Avengers, or I needed all of them gone.” She hesitated before nodding and asking

“So we’re all good?” Chuckling Tony said

“I might have been a bit testy immediately following everything but when I had some time to take a step back and look at it logically I wasn’t angry with you. I was mad at Ross for putting me in that position and Rogers for every single fucking stupid decision he made from the get go of the Accords situation. You did your best, that’s all anyone can do.” She smirked at him before telling him as she started walking out

“You’ve read that letter too many times Stark, might be about time to take it down don’t you think?” Returning her smirk, he called 

“Not on your life Romanova.” Her tinkling laugh was the only response he got as the doors to his workshop closed.

~*~

Clint had been worried that dinner would be overwhelming for everyone involved as there were three kids and four adults sitting spread out through his dining and living room that evening. Looking around he had to admit that it was chaos, but it wasn’t particularly overwhelming. He smiled seeing Tony and Phil discussing something that required lots of hand gestures in a corner while Cassie, who he hadn’t even seen, arrive and mentally adjusted his tally of people to four children, looked on in rapture. Laura was keeping an eye on Nate while sipping from a wine glass. Cooper and Lila were sitting around his coffee table setting up what looked a little like a card game, but not one that Clint could immediately recognize. 

Meandering into the room he took a seat by Laura and asked

“Did you ever think this would be the result when I told you I had been selected for the Avengers Initiative?” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders as she leaned into him. He felt her shake her head against his shoulder before she said

“I thought you would be dead actually, prayed that I was wrong every night, but I thought it would get you killed. A man with a bow going out with super powered people? It was preposterous, but you were so thrilled I couldn’t say anything against it.” Clint made a humming noise in response as he watched Tony in his conversation with Phil. Laura commented

“I never did expect that you and I would get to a point where we called things off, I was sure we had what it took to make it to death do us part.” He had squeezed her shoulder before he said

“Life surprises you like that, though. Are you happy?” She nodded before saying

“Yea, I think I am. I would never have believed it if you told me that I would be content living in a superhero frat house but I believe that we, me and the kids, are needed here. For perspective if nothing else.” Clint nodded. They were silent for a few minutes before she said

“He’s right for you too you know. You haven’t disappeared on us since the two of you got together.” He felt the smile take over his face before he could stop it. Tony choose that moment to look over and the fond loving smile Clint got warmed him from the inside out before he said

“I just hope I’m as right for him as he is for me.” Laura smacked him gently with the back of her hand before she said

“Of course, you’re good for him. When was the last time you saw Tony Stark look like that without being drunk as a skunk about it?” Watching the genius more closely Clint had to agree with Laura. Tony looked relaxed and at ease in his surroundings. There were brief moments of laughter coming from the other pair which managed to drift over the good-natured squabbling of his elder two children at the coffee table from time to time. Clint pressed a kiss into Laura’s hair before he said

“I think I like this new definition of a family we’ve got going on here. Let’s keep it.” She laughed at him drawing the attention of the room. He smiled, this was now home. If only he could find a way to keep Tony Stark around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just the Epilogue now, which kinda makes me sad.  
> -Aj


	14. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Very last little bit of As It Turns Out.  
> Be sad with me for the ending of this epic journey...  
> -Aj

Clint watched the genius as he nearly vibrated with excitement before throwing open a door that looked like all the others in that hallway of the residential wing. Clint’s rooms were just down the hall on the other side, so he didn’t know what this was concerning. 

The first thing Clint noticed when he walked into the room was the bank of windows, the second thing Clint noticed was that he was standing in a bit of a loft area which housed a kitchen and eating space both of which were sized to accommodate a large family. The table that sat in the eating area had eight chairs around it, and Clint wasn’t a master at carpentry, but if he guessed right, it looked like there could be another leaf or two added to give even more space on the table.

Clint over the railing at the end of the kitchen and discovered a living room done in brown's and strong looking fabrics that wouldn't show wear and tear. Taking the stairs down into the living room he wondered what Tony was up too. There had to be something special about the rooms, or the genius wouldn’t be so excited. Shooting a glance at the man in question Clint started opening doors. 

The first one he opened lead to a master suite done in the purples that Clint himself favored and accented with the blues that Tony favored. The next door was a pantry, filled with shelves and drawers for excess food stuff. It was one of Clint’s favorite things about the communal kitchen that he had off-handedly wished for in his rooms. He was more suspicious now as he opened the third door on that side of the living room and revealed a set of three bedrooms done in blues and greens and purples around a central sitting room that were set up for both study and play. The door under the stairs led to a mudroom type space that then led into a set of rooms that looked like they had been designed with Scott in mind. Clint didn’t poke any further into those just in case they were Scott’s actual suite.

The first door on the other side of the living room revealed a laundry room with ample space for more than one person to work within it at a time. Something Clint knew Laura had complained about at least twice. The last room was yet another master suite, this one done in a soft rose color Clint was positive that Laura would love and a neutral gray that toned down the frilly-ness of the pink. Clint leaned against the door frame and stared in wonder at the delicate pink throw pillows and artfully draped accent blanket. Tony had created a space where they could all call home, and fit, at the same time.

Clint turned away from what was obviously Laura and Phil’s space and looked around the main room once more and noticed what he had missed the first time. Every flat surface was retrofitted to be a holographic table, which would allow Tony to jot down sketches or idea’s as they came to him. Clint knew from experience that the man’s brain never stopped and sometimes he would come up with a solution to a problem he was stuck on spontaneously. There were panels that looked like they would open to house his bow and quiver; Clint was pretty sure he could find similar panels in their bedroom for the other weapons he routinely carried on his person. 

Tony himself was still standing at the top of the stairs arms crossed defensively, watching him. The bright, excited smile had shrunk down to a flat look of amusement; a mask, likely to hide nerves. Clint wandered back up the steps so he could stand in front of Tony. Looking around the rooms once more Clint reached out and tugged the genius to him by the hips before saying

“It’s perfect, have you shown anyone else?” Wiry arms had wrapped around him before Tony said

“No, I wanted to make sure it was something you wanted or would at least be ok with before dragging everyone else into my mad scheme. Pepper thought I was crazy when I told her what I was thinking.” Clint had chuckled before he pressed a kiss to the side of Tony’s head before looking around the space in wonder once more. He smiled and said

“We should bring them in; they’ll love it. Well maybe not Scott, but Cassie is practically another one of my kids at this point and will want to be nearby so he’ll give in eventually.” The soft chuckle he got made him smile. Clint moved his chin as Tony suddenly moved his head to look him in the eye before saying

“Let’s go kidnap the rest of the family and get the move in day started?” With that the excited energy was back and Tony was all but vibrating as he took off to go find the rest of their odd family. Looking around Clint couldn’t help but chuckle at the strange turns his life had taken. They were all happy, healthy and alive though and that was what mattered.

~*~  
They all had been in the new rooms for six weeks. The kids had been enrolled into the local public school system and as far as Tony could tell things were relatively idyllic. He still kept strange hours, but they were more regular then they had been ever. He ate at least one meal with everyone a day so even his diet was improving. Something Clint seemed to appreciate. Thinking about the archer sprawled haphazardly across their bed made him smile. 

Opening the door to their rooms he blinked in confusion. It was dark, darker than it normally would be if he wasn’t home for dinner. Clint usually left a light on so Tony wouldn’t trip and break his neck trying to navigate the stairs in the dark. Tony had tried to tell the archer that Yinsen would make sure he didn’t break anything but Clint insisted and Tony didn’t have the heart to bring it up again. With a fond shake of his head Tony started descending the stairs which were well illuminated by the light of the full moon outside. 

Once in the living room he stopped though. There was a reflection on the glass which shouldn’t be there, and listening carefully brought quiet sniffles to his attention. Rubbing his eyes to hopefully make the tired fog that had enveloped his brain the moment he had decided that he’d had enough fighting with the tempered steel arrowheads he was attempting to etch scroll work on too for Lila’s upcoming tenth birthday. 

Rounding the couch, he found little Lila curled up in the corner clutching a well-worn stuffed rabbit in one arm and the decorative throw pillow in the other. Turning on one of the reading lamps he settled down on the couch next to her. Sparkling blue eyes, the exact same shade as her father’s, stared up at him in abject anguish and pinned him to the spot. With a sigh he opened up his arms for her. Lila promptly threw herself at him, stuffed rabbit and pillow and all. With his arms wrapped securely around her he started rocking back and forth like he had seen Laura do with Nate when the little boy was upset while running fingers through her hair. When Tony felt she had calmed down slightly he asked gently

“What’s wrong, precious?” Her little arms tightened around his middle for a moment before she mumbled into his shoulder

“Darla said that I was a freak of nature cause I hate pink, and I hate dolls, and I hate dresses. She says only boys don’t like girly things so I must be a boy in disguise as a girl and that her mom didn’t let her be friends with boys.” 

It was on the top of his tongue to point out that in a few years Darla wouldn’t have a mind for anything but boys and that Lila could make Darla eat her own words at that point. True as it might be it wouldn’t make Lila feel better now. Cuddling Lila closer Tony told her

“I want you to listen very carefully to me princess. Can you do that?” the little head against his shoulder nodded before Tony continued

“No matter what choices you make, no matter what mistakes you make, no matter who likes you or who doesn’t I want you to always remember that your mom and your dad and Phil and I love you. We all think you are perfect just the way you are and wouldn’t want you trying to change yourself just because someone else was small minded and couldn’t see what an amazing person you are now and will continue to become as you grow.” 

There was a sniffle and her little voice almost a whisper asked  
“But what if I do something that Mom and Daddy can’t forgive? Like how Mom still hasn’t forgiven Dad for getting thrown in jail and not coming home like he said he would.” 

He knew this was serious, but he couldn’t help the amused smile that slipped across his face before he said

“Baby doll, your Mom and Dad and Phil and I will always forgive you for making a mistake. We might be mad or disappointed for a little bit but we’ll always love you and forgive you. Look at your parents? They forgave each other didn’t they?” He got another little nod before rambling on

“Even if you ever manage something they can’t forgive I promise you that I will always have a place in my heart and my home for you. There isn’t a mistake you can make that I haven’t already done at least twice. Everybody knows I’m the best at making mistakes and bad decisions.” 

The tension in the little frame in his arms gave out all of a sudden and with another sniffle Lila said

“I love you too Tony. I’m glad you’re here to stay.” Smiling in the soft light from the lamp he smiled down at Lila before he said

“Me too kidlet, me too. Now how about you head back to bed? You’ve still got to get up for school in the morning and not only that but I bet if you told Cassie what Darla was saying about you, she’d help you get revenge.” The smile that broke out across the little face made his soggy shirt worth it when Lila’s eyes lit up with mischief before she kissed his cheek and said

“You’re right, I’ll show her that I don’t need her as my friend. Opie will help too, she never liked Darla either. Thanks Tony, and goodnight.” 

Watching her tumbled up and over the back of the couch before she scampered through the door to the kids rooms he could only wonder at the turn his life had taken. From having nothing but his brains, his billions and his robots to having a real family and living alongside the Avengers, who had in a miracle of miracles accepted that he was done being a super hero.

Calloused fingers trailed down the sides of his neck to start kneading into the muscles that were well knotted from spending the better part of twenty-four hours bent over the arrowheads. Leaning his head back along the back of the couch Tony wasn’t surprised to meet the fond gaze of his lover. Clint kissed his forehead before saying

“That was well done. Though I should chastise you if only to keep Laura from attempting to skin me alive for allowing you to allow Lila to use the couch as a jungle gym instead of going around it like a civilized person.” Tony chuckled and said

“Well, she takes after her father and half the time I’m pretty sure you were raised by wolves.” Tony reached up to tangle his fingers with Clint’s before drawing their joined hands down so he could press a kiss to the back of the archer’s captured hand. There was nowhere in the world he would rather be than right there in their shared living room with the man he loved surrounded by family. Apparently even Tony Stark could find a happy ending. 

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look for the tattoo image and teaser for The Piper's Price by the end of the end of the day EST tomorrow.  
> -Aj
> 
> P.S. I still want your comments and critiques... please? *gives puppy dog eyes*


	15. A Fond Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Fond Farewell

# The Tattoo!

[](http://s1160.photobucket.com/user/ajfessler01/media/AITO%20-%20tattoo2_zps1gui1wa0.jpg.html)

# A Little Something To Draw You In?

It was walking. It had been walking for several hours. It had managed other modes of transportation until Gloversville. It didn't want to arouse suspicion and to arrive via a motor vehicle would arouse suspicion. So it walked.

Even with the threat of the chair, or worse the freezing coffin, walking made it ache. The handlers said it would grow into the metal appendages, into the arm and the leg. They could not be bothered to fit them precisely. The handlers were much too important to care about the comfort of their weapon. The handlers were adamant that the weapon only concerns itself with maintaining peak conditions so that it may carry out its orders sufficiently.

The weather had turned foul half way to the Avenger Compound, with frozen rain and sleet slanting down into its face and making forward motion tedious. The masters had been precise in their orders; it was to follow the direction of Lotus or there would be severe consequences, and if the Lotus directed the weapon into the vicinity of the last Winter Soldier, the weapon was to activate the Soldier and deliver the orders for return to base. 

Pleasing the Lotus was important, the ignorant woman had paid exceptional amounts of money for the use of a HYDRA weapon, even one as defunct as it was; the real mission was the retrieval of the Winter Soldier. Its very life depended on ensuring the prodigal son returned to the fold.


End file.
